Not my usual quirky self today

16 10 2008

Yes. The title is a warning. This may be a pity party. Which is selfish. Considering reading everyones comments. Well browsing. You go away for a few days and you miss a lot. You also start a blog and its surprising how much harder it is to keep up! But the point is, realistically I shouldn’t complain. I don’t have the worlds most obnoxious in-laws. I don’t have monetary worries. OK well, I do but I’m fortunate to know I won’t REALLY have to worry – at least not in the short term. I don’t have to worry about loved ones moving far away (on the contrary, I may be the one doing the moving). I have potentially exciting events that may happen (more on the interview soon) and yet. Here I am fighting back tears.

The trip that was supposed to fix everything, or at least help us gain perspective, did help us with perspective – but perhaps not the kind that we wanted. Or at least not the kind that I wanted. I’m not supposed to look at one happened as negative. I mean. Airing things out should be looked at as good, right? Realizing there are problems, acknowledging them and making a conscious effort to work on said problems is always a positive. So how come I just don’t feel so positive.

The first day was terrific. Well the first night, first day and second night. Even the second morning. Couldnt be happier to see each other. Then it all went downhill. The fighting wouldn’t stop. Over big things, little things, everything. I couldn’t stop doing the wrong thing and he couldn’t stop getting annoyed with me. I was hyper sensitive and couldn’t quit crying.

Ever the comedian he shot this when I wasn't paying attention. Me being a crybaby. Dark picture. How artistic?  Im actually not upset that the picture was taken. He takes pictures of me all the time without me knowing.

Ever the comedian he shot this when I wasn't paying attention. Dark shot, how artistic and dramatic... lol. It really is fitting for this post.... But what good am I if I can't poke fun at myself. And yes. I smoke. Guilty as charged.

Total cry baby. I don’t even know what we fought about half the time but the concensus was things weren’t good anymore. Fighting like we were… like we do lately… not normal. We said we wanted to figure things out but is it worth it? I’d get mopey because I was sad and that would put him off. Id try not to cry which would MAKE me cry. I never felt so distant from him.

He explained he felt like we were moving 100 mph and wanted to slow down to 60. That everything we were about to start doing was for the good of us. He felt pressured.  He felt I was more concerned with the relationship, with our status, than with the real issues at hand. That perhaps we don’t know each other as well as we though we did. I said I felt like everything I did was wrong. I had no room for error. He had no patience with me. This can’t be the makings of a good relationship. And yet we kept saying we wanted to figure it out. We care about each other. Like each other. I like him – a lot. Immensely. He IS my favorite person. There is physical attraction and there are… were?… sparks. When we aren’t fighting we are laughing and enjoying each others company.

Normally we speak every morning. He didn’t want to this am. He was tired. I am trying not to take it personally, although its hard. First day home and I haven’t spoken to him properly. I guess it’s part of slowing down. He says he does want to work toward something real… although he wants to do it the right way. I just don’t know what that means anymore. Im very confused. I feel pretty lost. And hurt. Im supposed to believe and trust that he cares about me. Im trying to. Before I left he hugged me tight. Said that we would see each other again. That he DID want to work on us. Work on what was wrong. Figure it all out. That he would miss me. That I would be back soon. Hugged me tight. But was he saying what I needed to hear? Or was he saying what he meant?

The interview went really well. I should find out in a few days. Basically I’ll be a currator for the company. The company itself is very family style. Everyone is very friendly and laid back. The office itself is beautiful. I met with the founder, the president and the head of the marketing department. I love the job description and i dunno. I think because my head is so clouded right now I can’t really think straight. They told me they would let me know in a few days. I REALLY hope I get this position. The president asked where I wanted to live and gave me suggestions in respect to commute times. I thought that was a good sign. We did discuss potential start times (not specific dates but general time periods) and I went over basical salary ranges with the person who would be my supervisor should I get hired. We went over my duties, hours, compensation, benefits, bonuses. The whole nine yards.

Only time will tell. For everything. My future rides on the unknown. I hate not having control. And right now, I control nothing.

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105 responses

16 10 2008
lara21167

Rowdy, the job sounds very promising If they are going this far and talking general start dates well I’m not going to jinx you but is does sound good.

Your Boo, I don’t know Rowdy, It sounds like you will most likely get this job and move to his end of the country, now he is feeling crowded and pressured. Maybe it is just like prewedding jitters. The way guys and girls sometimes have doubts right before their wedding. You will be moving closer and he is having doubts. My advise to you is to concentrate on you. On the prospect of this job. Where you will live. How much you’ll enjoy working there ect… Give boo some space.

What concerns me more is your feeling like you are doing everything wrong. That’s not being your normal confident self. I know how many times my hubby has made me feel like that. He doesn’t like this or that and I change this and that and still he complains!! Rowdy, Don’t lose yourself tring to please him, I almost lost myself tring to please my husband. We all need someone that accepts us faults and all.

16 10 2008
Clo

Rowdy I agree with Lara… Maybe he’s afraid if you move all the way out there, and things don’t work out, it’ll be his fault? I mean, yes, you’re moving for a job, you’ve said it’s not just for him, but it still has to be on his mind you know? I think if you give him some space, he’ll calm down.

And as much as it would suck, if he doesn’t calm down, then he wasn’t right for you. Lara’s right again with the everything is your fault dealio… You’re beautiful, and funny, and smart, and talented, and if I can tell all this from chatting with you on a blog, then someone who knows you in person should realize the same thing, and not want to let you go, you know?

I know how hard it is to relax and just let things go, you want to fix them so you feel secure, but I think the best thing to do at this point is to just chill like he said. And I think he meant what he said before you left. I dunno why I do, it’s just been my understanding that guys who want to just say what you want to hear wouldn’t go into that much detail. I think he’s just a little scared. I mean what’s the most serious relationship he’s ever been in?

As for the job, I hope you get it! It sounds like you will, and i know it’s what you want!

16 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

Thanks guys. You are right. It isn’t “all my fault,” and I was getting upset at him for that. I mean we both agreed that we both had things to work on individually and together. Part of my complaint was making me feel like I was constantly screwing up. I told him he was being hard on me. I don’t know. You are both right about the space. I’m trying to give it to him. We haven’t really spoken today. Like. A sentence. I said good morning and asked if he wanted to go back to sleep. He said yes so I said ok and said goodbye and hung up. I texted him a bit later to say have a good day and no response. I won’t get in touch with him again.

I know that’s not giving that much space huh. So I have to work on it a bit more. Its tough. Going from constant attention to none. I miss him. Im really sad that we are drifting. He has been in serious relationships. Long term ones. He’s lived with someone before as well.

Again I feel so selfish complaining about petty problems like this. Especially when there are much bigger issues going on. How is your brother doing btw Clo? How are everyones Spawns? Nephews included.

Yes. Lara. Teach the youngun how to save. Debt sucks. Im luckily just barely avoiding it. BUT I definitely live paycheck to paycheck. AS soon as I pay off my credit card im putting credit back on it and trying to keep it under its max so I can afford to pay it off with the next paycheck. I won’t open another one either because I refuse to not be able to ever pay off my balance. My credit is lower than my paycheck so I’ll always be able to pay it off every month.

I actually lost my wallet at LAX yesterday. I had already gone through security and lucky me I kept a CC in my bag out of my wallet. I got to my connecting hub and had a voicemail and it was US airways saying they had my wallet and please call them immediately. I FLIPPED. Cried. Everything. Emotional wreck lately huh. So yea. I called Boo and he calmed me down and told me to get a fed ex number and then US would ship it to me. He was like how did you lose it?! I had no idea. Then I called my mom and told HER and she was laughing because she is used to me being an airhead and was like do you want me to call him and explain to him how you lost it? I was like I don’t even know HOW I did and she said exactly. I’ll call him and tell him. She didn’t cause she doesn’t know his number but it was funny. He wasn’t mad at me or anything. He was actually really sweet… kept saying, Hunny just calm down. Don’t get upset. Its ok. They have it, you’ll get it back. And then I freaked because I had my connecting TICKET in the wallet but he told me how to go get a new one printed and everything was ok. For me. We spoke one more time that night. I called him to tell him I was back in town and he said he’d call me later but never did. So. I dunno. No more calling him.

OH and the job. I don’t know if I have it YET but I did get an email from the CEO saying I would hear from the person who WILL tell me yes or no shortly. Well it says “It was great to meet you. I know [name] will get in touch with you shortly!” SO WELL SEE!!!!!!!

Yea CLO and lara maybe are right. I’m moving out there for me. A mutual friend said the same thing as you. The pressure could be coming from the fact that its becoming a realty. Normally he’s much more “i miss you” and “i need you to move out here already” and “i just want to be with you’ and now suddenly its “i led you on, im not ready for this” kind of thing. maybe it’s cold feet. He has his trip this week. So maybe a break is what we need?

BTW. I think the comments use HTML. To break paragraphs use just without the spaces. you can italicize the same way by using an i instead of a p. underline with a u, bold with a b, center by writing the word center and so on.

16 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

woops. it doesn’t let me show them. ok use “” but without quotes or spaces and the use the appropriate code so

“” would bold something and then do “” at the end to close the bold. if you dont do the backslash one then everything will be bolded.

example:

Hi!

16 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

AHHH IT WONT LET ME SHOW!! I’m using the arrows above the comma and the period to enclose the letters and the backslash to close off the code. figure

b Hi! /b

but us the arrows on the period and comma keys.

i feel like a dolt right now

16 10 2008
lara21167

Glad you are feeling a little better Rowdy. And always remember it is OK to feel sorry for yourself once in a while so long as you don’t let it drag out too long.

16 10 2008
Clo

Rowdy I’m just like you when it comes to the whole space deal. I just want to know things are OK, and I’d usually hound my boyfriend until he lied and told me it was and then broke up with me for being such a freak. So, I know how hard it is, but just refrain from calling him for a few days. I mean I do think it’s cold feet, and I think if you give him a few days he’ll see… Oh, I do miss her when she’s not around, I’m being an idiot, of course I want her out here. I just really believe that even though you ARE moving out there for you, it’s still a big step, you know?

17 10 2008
lara21167

Rowdy how are you feeling today? Clo is so right. And I think it’s just a woman thing that we have trouble just giving a some space. We just need to know what going on and hate to be left hanging!!

Gabber from Joe’s Blog was asking for your blog site. I know it’s already posted on there, but I just wanted to check before posting it again. Or just let you take care of it.

the Hubby came home early, bummer. Actually he’s being all lovey dovey. Maybe he should go away more often : )

So how is everyone else today? I pretty much goofed off all day yesterday at work so guess I’d better actually work today.

Take Care

17 10 2008
mt

wow. i don’t read for a day and there are a billion convos i have to catch up on.

JANE: how DO you pronounce your name?

CLO: i’m really sorry to hear about your brother. it’s time for him to play smarter. he’ll get his ass kicked in a bad neighborhood, so i think he needs to swallow his pride and walk the safer streets. i’m from texas, and as the stigma (right word?) goes, we’re all about guns. but i’m all about gun safety. if he insists on buying one, insist on classes and registration for it.

LARA: saving money is quite bueno. my mom was horrible at it. she pissed through her retirement money in 2 years. my mom isn’t the brightest crayon, and as i have mentioned before, i sometimes feel resentful because of it. anywho, i had to earn and save my own money, and my family didn’t give a piss whether i graduated high school or not. my older sister was the only one who really pushed me to do well. i never though i’d want someone behind saying “you can do it, don’t get discouraged,” but it’s crazy how much it really helps.

ROWDY: i’m sorry to hear about this situation. my boyfriend and i went through that…he pushed me away and blew me off, blah blah blah…and i was just patient with him. i knew it was his issues he had to work on, and i was just the innocent bystander. we even broke up for real for about 4 months, where i didn’t talk to him at all (except for the few times we ran into each other through work)…it paid off. we’re back together. and i know this isn’t the right time AT ALL to mention this, but i was so excited i wanted to tell y’all last night…but i was tipsy from his birthday/celebration wine. drew proposed last night! i knew he was going to, but had no idea it would be this soon.

funny story on that ladies: i read about this stuff called “engagement chicken” in glamour last year, and remember thinking it looked like a really good recipe. the rumor has it, that if you cook it, your man will propose within the following months. well, since all this engagement talk was going on, it naturally reminded me of the recipe, so i cooked it for his birthday dinner. JUST TO COOK IT, no ulterior motives. when i told him at dinner what we were eating, he had a good cover; something about maybe for christmas…later he said he almost choked on the chicken, and thought my best friend had sold him out. everyone knew, and it disturbs me that there are that many good liars in my life. 😉 but i love surprises, and they did good on this one.

downside is, i’m hungover and feel all off kilter. i hate it when this happens…which isn’t often.

17 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

Thanks guys, for all the good advice. Its funny even though we know we should take the advice and we will even dole out the same to someone in the same situation, its hard to take it.

I was a little weak last night. I even asked him if he just didn’t like talking to me anymore. Yea. Mistake! He just got frustrated with that one. See the last time this happened to me the guy I was seeing DID wind up breaking up with me. The difference was the guy and I were never meant to be. I mean really never meant to be. I knew it from the start. This time I don’t know that for sure. There is some potential here and I hope I’m not just trying to tell myself that. This is a good guy. We have a lot in common. We used to really make each other happy. Ya know. We want a lot of the same things out of life. All that kind of stuff.

Anyway he got upset last night when I asked and wasn’t in the mood to hash it all out so I was like yea never mind. He didn’t understand why I wasn’t excited about getting the job (well why I wasn’t excited about the president contacting me). How do you explain that you are excited but you’re scared because HE seems to nonchalant about it and you want him to be ecstatic. That you’re depressed because you know three months ago he would have been over the moon about the prospect of you finally moving and now its kind of whatever. Now it seems like he could care one way or another if I moved. BUT I didn’t get into it. SO I kinda spoke about something else and tried to make myself sound happier. He sounded like he wanted to get off the phone so I let him. He said he would try and call me later if it wasn’t too late. He didn’t. I just went to bed. Sorry Im so debbie downer.

Im sort of supposed to call him in like an hour. I don’t really know if I should though. Not because he didn’t call last night. But the whole space thing. Maybe he doesn’t really want me to call even though he said sure why not. What should I do guys? Call? Not call?

I hope things work out. I really do. I want him to be my best friend like he used to be. Mom gave good advice. She said when I get scared I get needy. And it pushes guys away. And he’s probably getting cold feet because the move became a reality and its scary for both of us. Who knows. Thats what a lot of people are saying. I know I get needy and dependent. I don’t want to be THAT girl. But I know I can be. Sucks.

17 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

OH and congrats! Thats really exciting MT! im happy for you.

17 10 2008
lara21167

Rowdy you’re mother gave you the same advise I was going to. He fell in love with this independent confident woman and now you’re scared and acting needy and yes that will push him away (and don’t worry we all go through that, it is just a woman thing) now in my opinion I wouldn’t (well I probably would in your situation) but you shouldn’t call him when you said you would. Maybe call later today and tell him you’re sorry you didn’t call earlier but you were super busy doing whatever. Then kind of cut the convo short. Again you have a million things to do and ask him to call you later. Yes this is hard to do and totally against your instincts, but I think it will pay off. It will show him that although you love him and want to be with him you are still your own woman and will survive. Now he should start thinking “what am I doing I have this amazing girlfriend and I’m letting her slip away..” And straighten his ass up. Also whenever you do talk to him, show more excitment about the job so he knows that that is the reason you are moving there. and good luck..

MT – Congratulations!!! That is so funny about the engagement chicken!!

17 10 2008
Witchypoo

Ohhhhh….Goldie, The Golden Child is back! I’m happy to read your comments, Sunshine – even considering that you’re going through a rough time right now, Sweetie. I’m really sorry that you’re in so much emotional pain. You know, you really are in panic mode right now; you do have more control of this situation than you’re thinking right now…it’s just that your fear is clouding your perspective. Unfortuately, (in this instance), you are 3 hours ahead of me…and I just read your question about calling your guy or not. If you haven’t already – I say DON’T. Here’s why: while I know you’re perfectly aware of all this, I’m going to reiterate it anyway. Guys are just as complicated and contradicting as they say we are. While your bf might say one thing, (he still loves you…wants to be with you, etc…), AND HE MEANS IT…still, there’s that part of his male brain that also wants what is not immediately given to him – or perceived as too effortless to obtain. Now, I’m mostly speaking of single guys, but even married men are still excited and stimulated by a challenge…subltle as it needs to be in those circumstances. I may not be the best girl for you to be hashing this over with – because my perspective seems to be somewhat different than a lot of other women I know, and have known in the past, (when I was single). While a man needs to feel basically secure in a serious relationship to proceed to the next levels, he also wants that little bit of challenge…the unknown, (is she still as attracted to me as before? Will she be excited to get my phone call, even if she’s busy? Is she thinking about me? etc…..the list goes on). I don’t know if I’m expressing this in a way that makes any sense; basically, I’m saying that guys WANT to be kept on their toes. Some women I know do it by being ball-busters, taking a leading role in their relationships…that’s not my style at all. However, for whatever reason, it’s always come naturally to me to keep a little emotional space between me and whatever guy I was interacting with. This tendency wasn’t a ploy, or strategy…it’s just the way I am/was…probably resulting from my screwed-up childhood, (fear of intimacy, to coin a cliche’). Sometimes, that has caused some snafoos in my relationship with my husband, so as I matured and learned a few things about relating with him, I’ve figured out (usually), how to balence showing him my real self, with not crowding either of us. It’s an ongoing balencing act, but it becomes more second-nature. My point to this rambling account is this: while it wasn’t intentional, my “standoffishness” with being overly cozy, too quickly, with guys seemed to have the effect of reeling them in, (so to speak)…even when I didn’t necessarily want to. That’s why I mentioned to you once before that before meeting Jerry, (my husband), I had started to suspect that I was one of those people who could end up waiting a long time to settle into a loving, close relationship with anyone. It very easily could have happened, if I hadn’t run into the right guy for me. It seems, in my experience, that most men possess these conflicting needs: emotional security in their relationship, vs. the attraction to/need for a little uncertainty. Do you get what I’m trying to express? I’m telling you, it would sincerely baffle me when my casual attitude seemed to provoke an enthusiasic response in guys…but it always seemed to work that way. Follow your own fun, independent, outgoing, sometimes unconventional patterns, Goldie, without focusing so much on your bf…I know you can do this is you concentrate. Once your back in the driver’s seat of your emotions/outlook…he’ll probably come around, (he won’t even know why – there will just be that “spark” again). This is just my experience – it’s the only thing I have to draw on to try and help you deal easier…the other ladies have some pretty great advice. Take care, and I’ll be back later, Sweetie.

17 10 2008
Witchypoo

Hmmm…my spelling, typing accuracy is CRAPPY this am – too much in a hurry. You probably got the gist of what I was trying to say, though.

17 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

unfortunately I got the DON’T CALL! to late. So I did call. He didn’t seem upset by the calls but I’ll remember not to contact him again. LoL.

I do understand what everyone is saying. I mean. Its really tough. I don’t know what happens to me. I always come off as that independent cooky (not cocky) girl in the beginning and mi madre was like that IS who you are in the beginning and you reel them in that way and then you become someone else and that is who you are too. You ARE needy and I don’t like that about myself. I have a very hard time turning my emotions off and I am very transparent. So transparent that even in taking your advice it would be obvious. Silly huh?

I mean I want to be carefree and independent and it will come across as me TRYING to be that way even though I get that you gotta fake it to make it sometimes. So like I told him this morning that I got it and he was like “oh dah nye” which is like a lil joke of ours and I was almost heartbroken that he wasn’t like THATS AWESOME! but I played it off and was like “oh ya dah nye” (read that as “oh that’s nice”)

You all are 100% correct. Space. Independence. The thrill of the chase. This is something I tell all of my girlfriends. This is how I won boo over. He fell for me because I was funny. Because I was strong willed. Because I am who you all perceive me to be. Or I was. Then I needed answers. I needed to know where I stood with him at all times. I needed VALIDATION. notice the word NEED is pretty prominent in our relationship now. I needed to hear from him. I needed comfort. I needed support. Of course none of those are necessarily BAD things. BUT NEEDING them aren’t good. Im learning there is a difference between enjoying those things and NEEDING them. I shouldn’t NEED them. But right now I do NEED to hear that he misses me and if he doesn’t say it then I get really sad. Horrible. right. Even I know that. Even I can see how that wuold totally push a guy away. At least a normal guy.

I get very scared that if I push away then he won’t care and will even realize he is happier without me. Of course we say well if he is happier without me why do I want to be with him. Or that its all in my head. Or that is just a fear and of course he likes me. Or if he knew about this he would think I am crazy. OK he alreayd thinks I am crazy hehe.

He leaves for his trip tomorrow night. Im setting my alarm for 3 am tonight so I can say Happy Birthday to him at Midnight and then it will be the last time I talk to him for 10 days I think. Unless he calls me. He said he could call me later today. Im gonna let this trip be some space that we might need. Let it be some time that he needs to miss me and some time he needs to go do his thing and enjoy himself without me hovering about.

I do have intimacy issues. I just tend to cling and self sabotage which winds up pushing away rather than what you did Witchy (maintain space). I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to learn how to maintain an essence of space between myself the person Im falling for. Maintain a sense of pride, ego, self confidence. The fact that I gained weight isn’t helping either. So maybe I’ll take this time to find me. Work out. Lose weight. Who knows. Maybe I need to find a hobby.

17 10 2008
Clo

I say don’t call him. But I know what you mean on the whole advice situation. If I were in your shoes, I’d know that I shouldn’t call, but I probably would anyway. This is why I used to delete my boyfriends number from my phone so I couldn’t call (I have a REALLY bad memory, so if the number isn’t stored in my phone, I don’t usually know it.) And then I’d have to wait for him to contact me in order to talk to him.

I probably sound like such a lame-o. Ha.

MT- Congrats on the engagement! Did you get a ring (I know some couples wait and pick it out together, or do something else instead of an engagement ring…) How’d he do it?

People with kids: How did you make it through the first couple months without throwing your children out the window? Cayden was such a good sleeper. Yes, he woke up to eat, but then he’d go right back to sleep. Now it’s like you have to fight with him with everything. He’s still a GREAT eater (he takes after his Mom with that one.) but then he fights burping (you used to be able to look at him and he’d burp) and then he fights sleep (we call it his pirate eye, he’ll keep one eye open for as long as he can, and you can just see him getting so tired and the eye droops lower and lower…) and then the second you set him down, he wants to be up again. There’s nothing wrong, he just wants to be held. We’ve tried letting him cry himself back to sleep (after checking that he really is OK) but that sucks cause he seriously screams for a long time. And then both hubby and I are awake, and that seems pretty pointless for us both to be awake. He’ll also go right to sleep in his bouncer or swing, but I don’t want him to get used to that either. It’s just SO frustrating, and even more frustrating? Remember how I said every time I started feeling better something else happened to make me feel worse? Because I’m starting to do more things (like I don’t have a weight lifting restriction anymore, and I’m allowed to drive again after the c-section) now my muscles/ligaments are KILLING me. It’s funny how you don’t realize how much you use your muscles… But seriously, last night in bed I couldn’t roll over it hurt so bad. Hubby ended up staying home from work today, which is nice, but on the flip side, he’s out of vacay time, and we need the money.

And that’s all for my complaining now 🙂 I told you guys I was a complainer.

17 10 2008
lara21167

The 10 days is good. Yes take this time to “find you” And don’t be so hard on yourself. I know darn well every one of us has had those damn needy clingy feelings at some point. I think I’ve had them with every serious relationship I had. I tend to go from that to totally pulling away. Did that to my first husband and I’m doing it now. But I want to now, I don’t want to stay in this marriage. So try to find a middle ground. And I could recommend your reading “Fearless Living” by Rhonda Bitten. Excellant book and pretty much right on this topic.

17 10 2008
lara21167

And I forgot if I’m to brag about my daughter’s grades I have to be fair and brag about my sons. He also made the honor roll with only 1 B. No bribing with him that was accomplished for his own well being!!

17 10 2008
lara21167

Cloey, had to laugh. I really made the misstake of holding my son all the time. Starting putting him in bed with me all the no no’s. Best advise is to be consistant. get a routine and stick with it. I really like rocking chairs to rock the baby to sleep then laying them down. A cradle is great for newborns because if baby starts to wake up after you lay him down gently rock the cradle they just can’t seem to keep thier little eyes open. THat’s how I did my daughter and she was so easy. Till she got older and started climbing out of her crib. She was just over 1 year old too!!

17 10 2008
Clo

I thought about getting a co-sleeper to put in the bed, cause he seems to do OK if he’s near us but. I’m kinda afraid to do that cause our bed is already small (It’s a queen, but with 2 bed hog dogs and 2 big people, it seems like a twin sometimes.) Plus, I know the co-sleeper is supposed to make co-sleeping safer, but I’m a mover in my sleep, and I don’t want to smush my baby. As for rocking him and then putting him down? We tried that. He wakes up EVERY time. It doesn’t matter how long we wait after he falls asleep in the bouncer or swing, he’ll stay asleep long enough for you to get into bed and get comfy and then he’s up and fussing. We kinda rock his bassinet a little, but I think we may be able to switch the legs so that it’s an actual rocker so I’ll look into that. I also thought about getting one of those pads to put under him that vibrates…. He has this box in his pack and play that plays music and is supposed to have a vibrating feature, but I turned it on and I couldn’t feel it so I don’t think that works too well.

It’s funny how fast my husband gets frustrated with him too. I’m like, I dealt with it all day, you have it for five minutes and you’re telling the kid to shut up already? He got mad at me last night, cause I usually go up to bed a few hours before he does, and he takes the baby… Anyway when he came up last night the baby was fussing and Jeremy couldn’t get him to stop… I was like “give him to me” and Jeremy was like “leave me alone I’ve got it.” And I was like “I’m not going to be able to sleep anyway with him fussing, just hand him over” and he pouted like “Whatever, you won’t be able to get him to stop” and sure enough the second I had him he quit. I was like, score, I am baby whisperer!

17 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Rowdy I am so sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. I can remember what my best friend used to say to me when he thought I was down, maybe it will help you a bit

This isn’t the end of the world, Sometimes you are the windshield and sometimes you are the bug.
Today you are that bug, But everyone gets to be that bug once in a life time.
breath… breath … Breath… Now let go!

Things happen in life some expected and some unexpected but that is what makes life life. I am sure if you are both willing to take the time to make your relationship work and iron out all the kinks you two will be fine.

Good luck and take care of you.

17 10 2008
lara21167

Clo, men have like absolutely no patience with babies. They get scared and the baby senses that and makes the whole thing worse : ) I would try to get the basinette to rock. I’m telling you the old ways are best. If you think about it while the baby is in the womb, you are moving around alot and he gets used to that so he needs that constent motions to feel secure. Now did I mention putting baby in bed with you is a baaad thing?? So hard to get them back out. These people that talk about the “family bed” are just nuts!! Of course if the kid is sick or had a bad dream it’s ok but not every night. Just remember patience patience patience you’ll be fine.

Gabby – Love that saying.

17 10 2008
Witchypoo

Wow…so many interesting, fun conversations/points going on all at once. First, the more uncomplicated one, (for me, anyway). Cloey – all I can say about your little guy’s sleeping issues is: I’ve come to believe that they’re, (babies) are going to do what they’re going to do. I tried all the “tricks”, advice, methods, etc. that parents get regarding setting baby up in a consistent, workable routine of sleeping, feeding, and whatever else. The sleeping issue especially, I was mystified why my guys would only sleep if I either held them, or laid them next to me. I tried letting them cry, (for as long as I could stand it; my boys are relentless, it seems), rocking them until they were asleep and then laying them down, (they’d immediately wake up)…you name it. My husband and I wound up having each one of them sleep with us until a ridiculously embarrassing age, (suffice to say…we just got our littlest spawn in his own little toddler bed this summer – set up right next to OUR’S, of course). Still, it’s real progress, in our household. He actually sleeps better in his own little bed, but he knows we’re right there if he needs comforting, or blankets readjusted, or company for a middle-of-the-night trip to the bathroom, or whatever. By my second baby, I was pretty relaxed about the sleeping situation; once it became evident that Chance was going to follow the same pattern as Beau, I just set him up for permanent bunking in our bed, (of course, Beau only being 2 1/2 at this time, he expected to be with us as long as Chance was…so we slept FOUR to a bed for a long time – until we finally got them in their own room). Yes, it was a tight fit…I don’t know how any of us got any sleep. Basically, just relax and see where the situation goes…none of the parenting handbooks with perky, “helpful” advice did anything for us. Hahaha…you’ll laugh about it later, when you’re actually sleeping again.

Lara, you sound somewhat resigned and “ok” about your determination that you’ll be leaving your marriage. So, I’m reluctant to offer my sympathy, (if that’s the right word – it’s not, really) to you. I mean, I get the distinct impression that you’ve been giving this A LOT of thought for awhile now…you don’t strike me as someone who makes rash, impulsive decisions about life-changing issues. Do you think your husband has any inkling where your head is at now? Or, would that set him off, making your life miserable? Do you think there’s any chance to salvage it, (the marriage)? Sometimes, when the feeling is gone, it’s just gone…but not always, if both people are willing to work on it honestly. There’s the 20 questions…but I have to admit, your total honesty about this subject both surprised, and impressed me. You’re not depressed or anything, are you? You seem to take things in stride – a good thing. I wondered before…do you ever stay in much contact with your first husband? I don’t know why I’d be curious about that – just little remarks you’ve made about him, I guess. Btw…obviously, your business is your own; if I delve into something too private or uncomfortable, I completely understand the “no comment” reaction. I won’t usually ask something that you haven’t already alluded to on your own, anyway. It’s difficult to sense how personal to get on these blogs, since I’m not able to read facial expressions, body language, etc…you know? It’s different than discussing personal issues with my friends in person…so my “radar” isn’t working the same as usual. Yeah, I’ve noticed that the Sexybeezy gal seems to have taken quite a liking to you. Though, I’ll bet you’re probably used to people being drawn to you, considering the appealing way you express yourself. Some people are just magnets, you know?

Goldie…Yes, Lara’s right when she said that EVERYONE knows what it feels like to be vulnerable in a relationship; I wasn’t implying that I’ve never felt this way, or anything. As a matter of fact, I think I was at somewhat of a disadvantage when my husband and I first started getting serious. I didn’t really know how to deal with my strong feelings; it was all pretty new to me, (in the context of a romantic relationship, I mean…I’ve always been able to easily make warm, demonstrative connections in other areas of my life). But, you live and learn, right? I finally figured out that opening up my true self to my partner would enhance our relationship, and make him trust me more. We all have our weaknesses. Has it occurred to you that maybe HE could be dealing with things a little differently, also? You seem to be blaming yourself for everything – taking ALL the difficulties in your relationship onto your own shoulders. Would it hurt him to be a little more reassuring…a little more responsive to your fears? You seem VERY patient with the situation, which I ADMIRE. I know I’d probably, (not probably…I would), get disgusted with his,(or any guy’s), reluctance, throw my hands up in the air, (figuratively)…and run off to keep company with people/a person who I didn’t feel so unsure of. Is this a positive, or a negative, tendency? I don’t know…it’s just how I’d react, I’m pretty sure. So, I think you’re a lot stronger and more confident than you’re acknowledging, right now. Btw, what would happen if you DIDN’T set your alarm and call him at midnight, (his time), on his birthday? Maybe you should just let things ride, sending him on his way without your warm dependability to fall back on. Once he eventually contacts you, wondering why you haven’t called, (as he’d expected), make sure to steer clear of getting into your emotions, heavy subjects like where the relationship is heading, etc. You could just tell him the truth: you’ve been busy focusing on YOU…and enjoying life. In your position I would ask myself: is this guy meeting me halfway, (at the very least)? Goldie…if worst came to worst, you can ALWAYS find about a million guys who will appreciate you, and love you like crazy…weaknesses and all. Now, I hope I didn’t piss you off by saying things that you didn’t ask to hear. I’m guessing it wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened when I’m talking to a friend about this subject. I suspect I might have a blind spot about this issue (relationships)…it depends on your perspective, I guess.

MT…your happy news is great to hear! Congratulations, and enjoy yourselves while planning your wedding. Try not to get too wound up about all the millions of details; it seems like formal weddings can bring out some weird vibes from various family members/friends…it’s almost inevitable. The process of getting married is an emotional undertaking for most people…but it should be FUN, too, right? When my husband and I were planning our’s, I got more and more nervous as the date drew near. I had to have my wedding dress taken in twice after the original fitting, because I kept losing weight, (nerves make my appetite go bye-bye). The thought of so many people witnessing SO personal of an event…I felt totally overexposed. Though, once we were actually being married, everything went great – and I calmed down considerably. I guess everyone has to go through the “nerves”, hugh? Congrats, again…and keep us updated on your wedding plans.

Janey…haven’t heard from you for awhile. What’s up? How’s your guys, (both the big one, and the mini-man)? Are you having another Fat-Girl-Friday today, or do you have plans with Ezi, (did I spell his name right)?

Hmmm…my baby spawn has been in the kitchen making a mess for me, (salsa all over the kitchen floor, and mixed in with my gallon of drinking water – a nice little mess to clean up). Yesterday, he graciously refilled my big water glass with fresh water…though the cider-vinegar he’d added wasn’t immediately detectable to me until AFTER I’d chugged a bunch of it. I thought I tasted a weird flavor, checked the fridge…and, yup…found the empty vinegar bottle. Delicious). Soooo…anyhoo, I better get going on that sticky mess. Take care, Ladies.

17 10 2008
lara21167

Witchy I don’t mind your questions but it has quitting time and its Friday, so It will have to wait unitl Monday. I really need a computer at home!! So ladies have a great weekend….

Oh The family bed thing, I had my son in bed with me till at least 3 yrs old I think. There are people that really encourage it and I still think they’re nuts, but sometimes it is the only way to get any sleep!!

17 10 2008
Clo

Witchy and Lara- My mom told me that it’ll only be a month or two more until he’ll probably be sleeping through the night (she gets this from the fact that he’s already a champ eater, and putting on weight well.) But I’m like, really, a month or two more? I can’t deal. It seems like I do well for about 2 days and then I just crash and burn. Hubby offers to help sometimes, but I don’t really think it’s fair for him to get up with Cayden at night, at least on weeknights. He has to get up at 8 AM to go to work, I can sleep… As long as Cayden is. We’re taking him to my moms house tonight, which on the one hand I’m like YES I get to sleep straight through the night (well, until I wake up and need to pump, which… I’m trying to stop doing. I know breast is best, but I can’t do it, it’s too much. He won’t eat straight from me, so I HAVE to pump, and that’s SO annoying when Cayden starts screaming in the middle of pumping and I’m home alone and still have 10 minutes left to do… You get stuck. And it’s also annoying to FINALLY get him down but then need to pump. I mean it doesn’t seem like a lot, but that’s usually 20 extra minutes that I have to be awake.) Anyway, but on the other hand, I’m like… I’m going to miss my baby!

Speaking of sayings, my favorite is “Just when the catapillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

Totally spelled catapillar wrong.

Anyway, we’re running behind, and I wanted to attempt to give Cayden a bath before we took him to moms so… I’ll catch you guys later!

17 10 2008
Janelyse829

Hey gus….
ROWDY-so glad to hear from you, even if youre feeling down.
I would tell you to just let him be for a litte while. once he realizes how much he misses you and what a great girl you are-he’ll call you. i know its hard when you want to call and you know that you shouldnt. happens to me all the time when Ezi gets pissed he doesnt like to talk to anyone. but i’ll call him anyway and then we’ll argue and blah blah blah. my point is everyone has stuff they want to figure out on their own. and maybe when you guys talked about you moving there he never really thought it would happen or at least not so soon. now that its actually taking place he’s like okay, i need to slow down and fifgure out what im doing so that i can do it right. maybe he just doent want to it up. i hate to sound cliche’ but only time will tell.

Clo- i dont know much about new borns [ but i think im an expert on 3 year olds] but when Munchkin came over when he was a new born and he’d get fussy i would sing to him and he would just go back to sleep. no more fuss, just noiseless sleep. maybe you should sing to Cayden.

MT_ Congratulations!!!!!!! I am so happy for you!!!! that ‘engaement chiken’ story cracked me up…

LARA- congrats on both your kids maing honor roll. thats awsome.

Gabberjazz- i forgot to tell you on the Hottie site how sorry i am for your loss. hope you’re allright.

Witchy- how are you?

how was everyones day?
my mom is having a dinner party and i’ve been reunning around all day getting last minute stuff done.

17 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Clo:
My first daughter cried for 6 weeks straight I thought the world was ending lol but she is turning 6 now on the 30th of this month wow how time flies. I think the only way she would sleep for me was in her swing, so that is where she slept. She also wouldn’t latch on for feeding so I went to the pumping that lasted 6 weeks until my friend told me about the nipple shield worked like a charm. you can get it at the health unit I think it costs 5 bucks but it helped alot. Then my second daughter came along almost 2 years later to the day she will be 4 on the 27th of this month totally different baby she slept through the night at 4 weeks. Now that they are 4-6 you can really tell the differnece in personalities. Gabrielle(6) is very independent and JAsmine(4) is the suck lol. Kinda funny how they take on their own roles.

Lara-
I too know what it is like to leave a marriage I left just over a year ago and I find it was the best decision I made for me and my girls. I felt on my wedding day that I died inside and couldn’t figure out why and then the day I left was the day I started to live again. I hope you are making the best decision for you and your children. Take care and I will be thinking about you.

Another great saying that my dear friend Ryan told me just before he passed away was that
Life isn’t about finding yourself… Its about creating yourself….

17 10 2008
Janelyse829

WITCHY- i’ve been a little busy today but no i am not doing the Fat-girl-friday. Mom’s dinner part is my plan bt ei is going to be here. i guess i should start getting ready. BTW, he hates it when i do the friday night things with the girls. seems to think that i am just sitting there with a bunch of my friends talking about everything he does wrong. hahaha i have better things to talk about. sometimes. lol. tomorrow i am taking a well earned trip to the mall. its about time.

17 10 2008
Janelyse829

MT- i totally forgot that you asked how i pronounce my name.
so its Janelyse. and you pronounce it something like Jáh-neh-lease.
it sounds weird to me when someone that is not spanish says my name because they usually put the accent on the wrong place. my sisters name is Iylahni and its beter because its more hawaian [sp?] than spanish but you still say with a spanish accent.

17 10 2008
Janelyse829

Witchy in my post to you it says that ei is goin to be ther. thats supposed to say Ezi.

18 10 2008
mt

ROWDY- i hope you can stay strong. my friend always texts me when she’s feeling weak and wants to call her ex. i know your boo’s not your ex, but it’s the same concept. get yourself a buddy that can handle your intermitent breakdowns for a couple of weeks. i honsetly think your guy just feels a lot for you and now all of a sudden it’s really REAL. some men just need to pull their head out of their asses, and it usually takes a break up or a distance-ing of their SO to do that.

GABBER- hello. i haven’t been keeping up with cosmo’s blog, so i’m not familiar with you yet. can you fill me in on your story? i’d like to be up-to-date. 🙂

thanks about the engagement congrats ladies- WITCHY, thankfully, i want to be engaged til Oct 2010. (i’ll be close to finshed with school, and i’ll get my 3rd set of braces off by then) plus it will give us time to save, and i won’t be running around like a nazi bride. my sis says i’ll be one, but i’m a relatively laid back person. i just hate it when i have my own specific ideas for something and everyone else feels i should do it differently. i don’t know. it’s like, they had their chance to have THEIR wedding. this one is mine. i know it sounds bitchy, but…i don’t know. i’m borrowing trouble.

i’m going to bed, but i’ll write the engagement story tomorrow. it’s cute, if you know us. believe me, it’s not all lovey-dovey. lol. tomorrow is his birthday at his parent’s, and that’s when i’m giving him his quilt. it turned out surprisngly well. i hope he likes it.

how is everyone else?

18 10 2008
Clo

Jane – I do sing to him, but it’s usually while I’m holding him, and he falls asleep and then when I put him down he’s back to fussing. If I sing to him while he’s in his bassinet or pack n play, he looks at me like “Hello, lady, I want you to HOLD ME!” and then starts back up.

Gabber- It sounds like your first baby was colicky, which Cayden hasn’t shown any signs of yet (knock on wood, cause from what I read, it sounds like it sucks! Crying for no reason and no way to stop it? No thanks!)He’s really a good baby, he just likes to talk a lot already, even when he’s eating he makes these little noises. It’s just really annoying when you’re trying to sleep and he starts talking in his sleep and wakes you up, and you’re like, OK are you fussing, do you need something or are you just being a chatter bug? My main annoyance with him is the whole wanted to be held while he sleeps dealio. I’m so over it.

We did take him to my moms. I miss him, but it was nice to be alone with my husband. We haven’t been out in a REALLY long time, because towards the end of my pregnancy it was impossible for me to sit through a movie (I had to pee 20 billion times and the seats were SO uncomfy) and it was hard for me to walk… And then hubby had his surgery, so we were cooped up from that, and then pretty much right after that was my c-section and it’s been hard to walk and all that jazz. So tonight we dropped him off and had a cheap date night, Wendy’s for dinner and then we went and saw Get Smart at the dollar movies. It was nice. Tomorrow we go shopping. It randomly went from really warm to really cold overnight (that’s Ohio weather for you, we get a little bit of everything, you can never put away your summer clothes or your winter clothes. It seriously went from almost 90 to a high of 63 overnight.) and I realized I really don’t have a lot of newborn or 0/3 warm stuff for him.

OK, off to bed. I am SO looking foreward to uninterupted sleep! Oh, and you guys are going to have to check out my myspace page soon, I got a couple of REALLY cute pictures of Cayden. I’ll try to post them tomorrow.

18 10 2008
Janelyse829

Clo- its sounds like you had a great night. i’m bored lol. dinner party was okay but they are a bunch of my parents friends and Ezi has to study for a test so he bailed on me. im tired but im not sleepy so im just like talking to my friend on myspace.

OH, and maybe Cayden just wnts to know that his Mommie is close while he sleeps. remember that he is obviously ridiculously attached to you. a mother is her sons fist love. And they get used to movement while they sleeping when they un the womb so maybe thats the problem. he cant be still while he sleeps cause he got used to the movement? i dunno.
good night

18 10 2008
Witchypoo

Ahhh…yeah, I didn’t really ever think of it that way, Janey…about the womb/movement, baby getting used to it and needing it to sleep soundly, etc. I always felt like I was the only mommie who’s babies wouldn’t sleep without the body contact. After awhile, I just quit thinking about it at all; they just seemed to need it, and that was that. One thing you’ll find about children, if you don’t already know it, Cloey, (you probably do, but I’ll say it anyway), is that you’re not going to understand some of what they do/want/need/, etc. At all ages, they’re just…strange, sometimes. It’s just part of the fun of parenting…the guesswork. What are you going to do, right?

Hey, Lara, (Laura…pretty name, btw; yes, it is a happy coincidence that you and Cloey share the same name, with the same spelling)…anyway, that’s pretty great about your spawn getting on the honor role. My guys get good grades, but they’re not on the honor role right now. We’ll have to see what we can do, I’m thinking…hahaha.

Goldie, are you doing any better? Annoyed with what I was saying to you? Or, just exhausted from your long trip home? That’s what I was going to bring up: you’re probably overly-emotional because you’re weary, jetlagged, etc. I always feel a little “off” immediately after a trip. You’ll probably bounce back somewhat, feeling more secure and grounded, after your system has a chance to settle down. Then, maybe your guy’s reactions won’t have the same impact on your emotions, Sunshine.

Hey, Janey…have fun shopping tomorrow; tell us what you pick up, (shopping vicariously through others is almost as fun as shopping myself – since I’m always rushed and somewhat pressured when I try to do it).

MT, you’re pretty smart to have a nice, long engagement; there’s more time to plan what you REALLY want. Btw, the chicken-engagement story is cute…you can tell that story years from now.

Gabber, I didn’t know you had kids, (at least, I don’t remember you mentioning it before). It’s great that you’re doing so well with the single-mom circumstances; I’ll bet you’re an organized kind of girl, aren’t you? I’m happy that you’ll be hanging out here with us.

All these cool sayings everyone has…I don’t really have one, but it’s fun to read all of yours’.

Hey, Cloey…that first “date night” with your hunny after becoming parents is special, hugh? I remember being very tired, but happy. Couples with kids really do need some time with just each other. It’s usually the first thing you overlook when the spawn come into your life – but it sounds like you and your guy have it covered.

Take care, and nightie-night, Ladies.

18 10 2008
mt

Hey CLO- does cayden have a swing, by any chance? i remember with my brother it was my only saving grace. also, when i babysat my boss’s baby, i would have to hold her until she fell asleep, then about 15 mins after that, and then transfer to her swing. she’d still get in that swing if she hadn’t outgrown it and another baby sister hadn’t come along last month. and i feel you about the spastic weather. we’re finally feeling the effects of fall here on the gulf coast. low humidity and about 76 today. nice.

LARA- i’m sorry to hear about the marriage. divorce is so hard. but, there’s no point in being unhappy; especially if you’re not the reason you’re unhappy. it really sounds like you have really tried. when my cousin got married, the pastor said “love is not 50-50, it is about each person putting in 100% and never expecting and even return.” i love that quote. but part of that 100% is respect, and that is one thing i DO expect from my partner in a relationship. good luck in where your life leads you from here. and congrats on your smart, and driven, children. 🙂

engagement story: drew has a fish tank. as a couple, we go out to the beach and the rock groins to catch little fish for his tank, using a dip net. well, unfortunately, we lost his fish in ike. so he cleaned out his tank and it was looking a little sad, so he said he wanted to go look for seashells when the tide went out, and to just kind of see what ike had washed up. there’s not much sand left, but there was enough for a short walk. so we’re exploring and not really finding anything, and we walk up onto the rock groin, to see how they shifted during the storm. i’m looking down, being my normal, talkative, gotta see everything self. when i look up, he’s pulling the ring box out of his pocket. my first reaction was “are you serious?! drew, are you freaking serious?” (incredilous, to say the least) and he said “yes, will you marry me?” and i, never one to be too traditional, said “do you promise to cut back on the drinking?” (that’s something we’ve been working on…) and he said yes. so i said “are you going to get down on one knee?” him: “do i have to?” me: “uh, yes.”….so he did and asked me again and i said yes, of course. but then he was just going to hand me the ring. so i took off the ring i normally wear and made him put it on my hand. lol. it was cute. he was so…childlike…in his hopeful expression. it was perfect. i just wasn’t expecting it until later in the year, because he had taken the ring (it’s his mom’s original wedding set, sans the diamond) up to the jeweler when we were in town…but he and his mom went diamond shopping while i went shopping with his sister. thing is, he said he didn’t find one and, even if he had, he never had a chance to get back up there to pick it up. his parents had come down to galv a week ago to “pick up their deposit from the hotel for his brother’s wedding.” (it got relocated because of the storm.) come to find out, they really didn’t have to come down here for that. it was just a really, really good cover. so anywho. that’s it.

18 10 2008
Janelyse829

The Dark Side of Me

When I feel like exploding and bursting out in tears
I always search for my deepest darkest fears
Maybe it’s for the memories or maybe I’m attracted to the pain
On sunny days I wish it would just rain
I wish rainbows would diappear
out into the clear
When I’m feeling down, I want to cry
But my eyes are always dry
That’s when I reach down deep
Deep, into my heartbeat
I’m not the type to drown my sorrows
Never looking for tomorrows]Happy thoughts are rarelt there
And when i smile, others find it rare
You want to know about me?
Look into my eyes and you will find
The dark side of me uncombined
I’m not here to stay
I wish the world would go away

Hey guys. i just wrote this poem.
tell me what you think.

18 10 2008
Janelyse829

MT- that’s amazing and funny!! you sound really happy. congratulations again!!!

18 10 2008
Janelyse829

So Munchkin was with me for a little while today. he tells me he is going to marry my 5 year old niece. her name is Darya. and then he tells me he is going to marry the little girl that lives next door to him. her name is Stephanie. so i tell him he cant have both because its wrong. he has to chose. i also tell him that he better think carefully because Darya is my princess and he wasnt going to mess with her. and he goes “She’s your princess?” i said yes. “are you going to kiss her?” first off, WHAT??? so to tease him i said yes. these are his exact words. “Ewww, you nasty!! she’s like a girl….and you like a girl…kiss me, i’m a boy!”

18 10 2008
Witchypoo

Janey…I love your poem; but, I have to ask…are you sad or depressed? Or is that just a fleeting condition – for the most part? It’s kind of cathartic to write, or sing, “on the dark side” sometimes, isn’t it? It releases stress to get out our fears and frustrations that way. I probably avoid my more negative emotions too often; that’s not always a good thing – in the long run.

Munchkin sounds like he already understands a lot about how things work between girls and boys; my baby is pretty savvy that way, also…but he has 2 older brothers who help to “educate” him daily.

So, have you gone shopping yet today? If so, what did you come up with? You don’t like Victoria’s Secret clothes? GASP!!!!!! Why not, Janey? I’m trying to get a picture of your typical style, or “look”, or whatever. They do have a lot of feminine, pretty, (sexy) clothes…not to mention the pretty bras/panties. They’re really nice to deal with on the phone when ordering, also…apparently, a lot of their phone people wear the clothing/underwear/bras, also – and they seem to enjoy giving me details of what specific items look like on, vs. how they appear online, or in the catalogues. If you order late at night, some of them are pretty chatty – it’s funny.

Yes, those slick men are capable of saying all kinds of things to tip the scales in their favor of scoring, aren’t they? Hahaha…it’s kind of cute how hard they’re willing to work sometimes to achieve what they want, hugh? I’m sure your guy really does think Victoria has nothing on you, though, Janey. A little honest appreciation is always welcome, don’t you think?

Anyway, your poem is really pretty, and moving. Talk to you later, Sweetie…take care.

18 10 2008
mt

wow JANE- that was touching. but kind of sad. 😦 i hope everything is ok in your life. btw…victoria’s secret is the shiznit. they are the only understuff i buy. it’s not because i’m a brand whore or anything, but, i’ve tried other brands and they tend to tug, move, or “ride” wrong. (and noone likes when their undies are off kilter) so, for a long time the majority of my paycheck was going towards VS…then it transferred to splurging on my hair (it’s short and dark brown with red and blonde highlights..it looks really good, but the expense adds up!….) but lately i’ve been seeing my dollars go into space somewhere, so i dyed my hair dark brown out of a box yesterday. i was surprised how well it turned out. anywho. that was quite the tangent. sorry. i’m off to do history homework. it sucks, this storm had school closed for a month…so our schedules are all off. i don’t like that…i’m used to running in a pattern.

18 10 2008
Janelyse829

Hey guys…
MT and Witchy-yes everything is alright. i was just bored. i had to clean the house and didnt really feel like it so…thats what happened. i actually had a good day. just got back from the mall.

i bought these really cute pair of purple skinny jeans that my mom wont approve of but Ezi will love. i bought a white shirt with a really nice black half-vest. 4 inch black and white wedges to go with the shirt and vest, a pair of really dark blue skinny jeans, a purple shirt, and a low-cut yellow-green shirt. AND a skirt for the shirt/vest/shoes.

i needed to go shopping. its like therapy for me. hahaha

Witchy, my nephew is VERY aware of how things work between boys and girls. I was going to give him a bath the other day and when i took off his shirt he said, “look! i have nipples” i was like,”what the hell? who taught you that?” he is a trip and a half, let me tel you. he takes after my brother. i think that they have a special magnet that attracts women no matter how far they are. at least my brother does. his son is developing his.

how wer you guys’ day?

19 10 2008
Clo

Gabber- I forgot to mention, they gave me a nipple shield thingy in the hospital, and it works, but because I’m not used to breast feeding I kinda need two people to help me, cause it’s hard for me to hold the shield on and hold him and yada yada. Plus, in the hospital he was still getting really angry like the milk wasn’t coming fast enough. Now that my milks in, it may be better, I haven’t really tried it again.

MT- We have a really cool swing, it’s a swing/bouncer combo, the swing seat detaches and becomes a bouncer. It’s seriously the best thing ever, such space saver. If any of you are looking for a really nice gift to get a pregnant friend/family member (and you want to drop some money, or you’re going in on it with a few people) it’s a nice space saver. New they’re like, 120 dollars I think, but we found ours on craigslist for 40 or 50. He sometimes likes his swing, sometimes it just pisses him off more, but his bouncer works about 90% of the time, and he’ll usually fall asleep. He’ll sometimes fall asleep in his swing. The thing is, when we want to move him from the swing/bouncer to his bed, he usually wakes up. Or, he’ll let you put him down, and stay asleep for like five minutes and then wake up. And I don’t want to just let him sleep in his swing, because then I’d have to lug the swing up and down the stairs every day (I come downstairs in the morning when hubby leaves for work and nap on the couch while Cayden sleeps in his pack and play down here, that way later on, I’m down here to sterelize bottles and such. We have to lug a lot of stuff upstairs already to be prepared for the night… Like his bottle warmers, bottles, my breast pump, a cooler to keep the bottles in and pumped breast milk in… his sleep positioner, which we need because little one likes to try to flip himself over already…) And we usually try to take his bouncer up with us, cause sometimes he’ll fuss for no other reason other than he wants to be moving, and the bouncer works for that. But, I don’t want to let him sleep in the bouncer, cause that sits on the floor and while the dogs have shown no aggression towards him, I still don’t want to leave him on their level unattended, you know? So. We’re stuck, lol. And the engagement story is so sweet! I had to tell my husband to get down on one knee too, lol.

Witchy- We’re really lucky in the sense that we have a lot of people who WANT to take Cayden, and for free. They just want to be near him. And they’re people I trust, so it’s nice. I think my mom was ready to see him go, lol. I think she was really tired, which is funny cause my sister took care of him till 5:30, and then my mom had him. And I mean, 5:30 is STILL early, but I would kill to get to sleep till 5:30 straight without getting woken up, lol. But it’s crazy too, to think my Mom not only did this, but she did it with 3, and we’re all really close in age, as well. My brother and sister aren’t even a year apart, and then I’m only like a year 1/2 younger than them. So I told her the other day… How the hell did you do it? There’s no way I could. No freaking way.

I hope everyone had a good weekend!

19 10 2008
mt

haha. well, CLO, you just shot my swing theory to the ground! and, as far as the proposal, i think that if you can joke around in such a serious, life-chaging moment…it’s perfect. my myspace page has a quote that says “it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes marriages unhappy.” i don’t think i’ll have that problem. oh! and he loved his quilt. i’m (eventually) gonna find my camera cord and email the pics to rowdy for the page…or i can just put them on my myspace/facebook and give y’all the link. whatever!

how is everyone else?!

19 10 2008
Janelyse829

Hey guys!!!
MT- that quote is so true…
What have ya’ll been up to?
i just got home, i was hangin out with ma baby…
and now he’s hungry so i am going to go cook. Shrimp and broccoli anyone?

20 10 2008
lara21167

Good Morning Ladies!! Janey beautiful poem. Yes it’s dark but beautiful if that makes sense. And I can tell your a pretty upbeat person just like to write about dark subjects. Do you keep a book or something. I’m not an expert on poetry. In fact I almost failed english lit in college (that was because of a stupid term paper I got a bad grade on) but as I was saying, I think you have talent. And I love VS but I just can’t afford it right now.

MT – beautiful proposal, he did good.

Witchy- To answer your questions from Friday… Lets see truthfully I should have never married my husband he is just wrong for me. And I knew this. He should have just been a “bad Boy” fling and left it at that. In my first marriage my husband and I grew sooo far apart and I was starved for love and affection (yes I regret leaving him) we were both young and dumb and didn’t work on our marriage like we should have. So when I got together with my now husband he gave me all the attention and affection I was starved for. Still I knew he wasn’t the marrying type. But I started to get the urge. The I need another baby urge!! My son was not a baby anymore and I wanted a baby. So I married Joe and had my beautiful little girl. I mean we’ve had some happy times but he is an acholohic and I am tired of enabling him. And getting no respect for all I do. Plus now I know I can make it on my own, which has been a fear of mine. And I haven’t seen my first hubby in a few years. When my son turned 10, he announced that he wanted to go live with his dad. It broke my heart but I let him. I don’t know what went wrong with his dad but he started smoking crack. I didn’t know this until he went into rehab. In the mean time my son stayed at his grandmothers because he was into High school by then and wanted to finish school there. He lives about a 45 minute drive away from me, in a different state. Now my son’s dad met a girl in rehab my son described as a toothless, lesbian. Well his dad married said toothless lebian and moved to North Carolina. My son is very mad at his father and so am I but apparently he is back in West Virginia, that’s where my son lives, but back in the rehab. So I just want to get my son through school in West Virginia. I’m not sure if he wants to go to College, he did want to go, but he’s taking courses at a tech school in electrician training. So he could get a job straight from high school and work on becoming a Master Electrician. Back to my husband now, He has no job and no vehicle. And I don’t have the heart to throw him out into the street, so I am stuck for now.
And don’t feel bad for me, all my experiences have made me so much stronger and confident than I ever was. I was always a “daddy’s girl” (my mother died when I was 11 so I was spoiled) and couldn’t live without a man in my life and actually thanks to my husband I know I can now.

Cloey glad you got a break, it’s great to have family to help out like that.

20 10 2008
Clo

MT- Some babies LOVE swings, or bouncies… I’ve heard it’s the one thing you should never do without, because like the other ladies said, babies are so used to constant motion in the womb, that they still want it when they come out of the womb… Which is why when your baby is crying for no reason, and you’ve checked that they’re not hungry, dirty, cold, and all that good stuff, chances are they just want to move. Cayden will stop crying instantly sometimes if we swing him, bounce him, and he ALWAYS falls asleep in the car. Now, some people are unlucky and their babies HATE swings or bouncies. Cayden likes his swing, he’s just not in love with it.

Lara- Your marriage sounds like my Mom’s marriages… It almost made me nervous to get married cause Mom seemed to pass on the “I’m attracted to huge losers” gene to me and my sister. But one day I kinda figured out the same thing you did – that I can do OK on my own. I don’t really like being single, but I always managed to meet someone else, so I knew I wasn’t going to be single for forever. I met my husband, and I’ve said it before, I know the saying goes that a girl marries her father, but I have married my Mom, which is good, cause my Mom’s an amazing person, so I’m glad my husband is like her. It’s annoying sometimes when they both tag team me, but all in all I’m happy. However, I respect that you don’t want to kick him out with nothing, but you always may habve to wait for forever for him to get his act together. I mean, I come from a family of alcoholics, so I know how difficult it is… I just know my Mom waited for my step dad to get his shit together, and he didn’t. And one day he just did something too horrible, and he was out on the street. She just told him to get his stuff and get out, and didn’t worry about where he was going to go or how he was going to get there. But, that’s also a different situation, cause what he did was really bad…

I’m glad I got a break too. LoL, I’m just MUCH better now that I got some sleep and got a chance to relax. I didn’t realize how much I MISSED my husband, even though he was there the whole time. And it was like what Witchy said, I was totally exhausted, falling asleep in the movie theatre, but I’m so glad I went, and my husband was being so sweet.

How was everyone’s weekend?

20 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Hi Everyone hope your weekend went well!!!!!

Clo:
Yeah my youngest was like that always wanted to be held. I actually wrapped her tight in her blanket and then but another planked around her and a soft teddybear it seemed to dothe trick. I went back to work when she was 4 months old soit made it easy for my husband at the time.

Witchypoo:
lol yes very organized, It comes with the line of work I do. This might sound kinda sad but I love being a single mom I like the fact that I have the control how my girls are raised. They do go to daycare and stay with their dad when I work night shifts or get called out to an emergancy. But I made sure that they know my rules for the girls and they stick to them. It makes it so there is no confusion for the girls.

MT;
hey nice to meet you!! I commented abit on Joe’s blog but took some time away, My best friend found out he had cancer and had a month to live so I took that time to be there with him. He passed away 3 weeks after we found out. Its been a month now and I am truely at peace with his passing. I still have a feeling he is he with me so all is good. A bit about me hmmm.
I am a single mother with 2 beautiful little girls.. And I work too much lol that about sums up me. Tell me about you? BTW Congrats on the engagement.

20 10 2008
Janelyse829

Hey guys!
i wonder where Witchy is today…

Lara-i think youre amazing for staying in a situation like that. i could never do it. i dont think i would be stong enough emotionally or mentally to face something like that and stick it out. you mentioned before that the only reason you were staying was because of your daughter. i think that is great but you should ask her how she feels about the way she sees her dad treat you. ask her what she thinks or how she sees your relationship with her father. things that go on in a marriage really do affect the kids whether they show it or not.

gabberjazz- i hope you dont mind me asking, but what line of work are you in?

20 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Janelyse:
No I don’t mind at all I am a Law Enforcement Officer at a maximum Security prison.

20 10 2008
Janelyse829

Wow!!!
Thats a suprise! you dont sound like an officer.
is it fun? i would be scared out of my mind…

20 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Janelyse
Lol if you saw me you wouldn’t think I looked like one either. I love my job!!!I love going to work. Actually not scary at all, If anything was to go wrong I can have 15-20 officers to back me up in less than 10 seconds. Yes I am working with over 750 murders/sex offenders but I know that I have people working with me that have my back like I have theirs.Its alot safer than being out on the streets doing Law Enforcement. All the officers are like family we are very close to one another. We are actually the only Officers that are allowed to shoot if the suspect is running away as they are already classed as a dangerous offender. lol justa bit about my job.

20 10 2008
Janelyse829

Gabberjazz- gotta be cool having a gun.
i’m sure you dont look like an officer. it just sounds kinda…scary.
750 murderers? no thanks. i think i’ll stick with the pen and paper and in the kitchen lol what made you interested in that particular career? i would personally never go into that field but i must admit you make it sound interesting

20 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Jane
I am the 7th in our family to be in Law Enforcement. I love the thrill of it all. Look at it this way I am payed real well to babysit men lol to tell you the truth I would be scared if I worked in a female prison. Women are well lets say very dangerous. I am 5’3 and I weigh 115-120 pounds, I babysit very large men and wouldn’t think twice about it but me babysit another woman who is 120 pounds no thanks….

20 10 2008
Gabberjazz

BTW:
We only carry a gun when we are escorting them out of the prison or when we respond to a riot inside. All we have on us daily is our PPA-which is a call button if we need help and pepper spray. We are paired up all women officer has to be paired with a man because if we need to do a strip search a male guard has to be there.

I am actually trying out for the men ERT only one other woman has passed the test. Its like SWAT in the states. I don’t want to be on the team I just want to prove that another woman can do it. Lol

20 10 2008
Janelyse829

Gabber
i agree woman can be violent but in a way i think its in our genes lol
i can be the biggest bitch ever. say someone walked up to me talkin shit. i wouldnt think twice about punching them in the face and walking away. but thats great that its a family thing. i bet your a great diciplinary with your girls.
my brother in law is in the army and i think the first word my niece and nephew learned was ‘respect’ lol

20 10 2008
Janelyse829

thats great that youre doing that!
i hate that people still think that there are things a man can do that a woman shouldnt be allowed to do.
and that most women believe it. its just such crap. whats to say that if he can do it i cant? its funny how gender switches perspective.

21 10 2008
Witchypoo

Hey, Ladies…what’s up? Hello, Brainy-Janey; I’ve just been REALLY busy today – just one of those days. My oldest spawn, Beau, scored another touchdown today…plus he set up the other two guys in great positions to score theirs’. We beat a really tough team today that has soundly kicked everyone else’s asses, and by a big margin. My guy is working his butt off to establish a reputation that the high school coaches will take notice of; he’s very disciplined and consistent. He’s the kind of kid that all the teachers, and especially coaches, really like and depend on…yet he’s not a suck-up, and he has tons of friends, too. (UH-OH…Mommie-Bragging alert!). My youngest baby, Heath, turns 4 on the 24th, (sob-sob…the spawn grow up SOOOOOO quickly!)…so my husband and I went out on Saturday and got him a new bike; he also wants a “puter”, (what he calls a computer), because he sees Jerry, (my husband), with his laptop all the time. We’ll get him one of those learning computers, (like Leap Frog, or V-tech, or something). Our family might be staying with my 12 year-old’s baseball team overnight this Friday at a new, local indoor waterpark, (Greatwolf Lodge)…then staying most of Saturday to play on the water-rides. We were there with some friends this last summer for a couple of nights…Heath insisted on going down water slides that are for much older kids; I thought he was going to get the pants scared off of him…but he couldn’t get enough. The timing would be perfect for his birthday – he’s always asking to go back there, anyway…it just depends on whether enough of the other families want to go, also.

Anyhoo…what else? Hmmm…Janey, the clothes you got this weekend sound cute; I’m patiently waiting for my Victoria’s Secret order to get here…should be sometime this week. Hey, MT…your hair sounds pretty. Yes, keeping up with the hair costs a lot; mine is really long, and I have it foiled different shades of blonde every 2 months or so; I also keep it healthy with good conditioning…that alone costs a lot, it seems. What are you gonna do?

Lara, you are incredibly honest and forthright about your marital situation; I admire that you seem to make the most of your circumstances, rather than getting bitter. Your husband, Joe, should be thankful he got lucky enough to land a nice girl like you. Do you think he appreciates you at all, or realizes everything you do for him? Some men take their partner for granted; they don’t realize what they’ve got until it’s gone. (Listen to me…I sound like a sappy love song, or something). I’m sure plenty of women take their guys for granted, also…it just seems like it’s more often the other way around. Just remember, we’re all here to “listen” if/when you need to vent.

Cloey…you sound like a happy, (if tired), new mommie. It sounds like you’re settling in well with the routine, though. Do you have another “date night” set up with Jeremy? It’s nice to have things like that to look forward to, hugh?

Goldie…where are you, Sunshine? I hope everything is going better for you – especially your frame of mind. Let us know what’s up, when you have a minute.

Gabber…Wow! I was really surprised to discover that you’re a law enforcement officer, (I don’t know why that should surprise me, though). It sounds like a REALLY interesting line of work.

Take care, Ladies, and nightie-night.

21 10 2008
Janelyse829

A Broken Soul

The sound of raindrops against my window
Waiting for tomorrow, yet hoping it will never come
I wiwsh I had more, ws more, and then some
The days go by and my days fade
They dont’t fade quick enough
If my my life were a color, it’d be of a dark shade
My exterior id tough
but if you’d look inside, you’d see me melt
Late at night I let the tears flow
As I think of all the pain I felt
I was happy once, when I thought our love would grow
But we let it die, and then you left
I had no walls to hide behind
My heart was left in pieces, with no one to pick them up
My hopes and dreams were shattered
But you know, after all, you shattered them
I let myself fall into the abyss
A depp, empty, black hole in the middle of my soul
I tried to put my heart back together again
the pieces no longert fit
Not only did you break my heart
You took parts of it with you; all the good parts

So i woke up last night at 3 am and i looked out the window and it was just so-dark and depressing and bleak. it inspired me and i wrote this at 3 am. i know its a bit dark. i promise i will post a happy one soon. i do have many already written.

Lara- you asked me if i kept a book or something. I have various poetry folders and a couple of note books filled with poems and short stories [and long ones!] that i have written since i was in like seventh grade.

21 10 2008
Clo

witchy- I was adjusting well and in a good mood, but we had a rough night last night, and I’m now seriously annoyed, and most of it’s directed at my husband. First, I wanted to go to sleep early last night, which I try to do. I usually head upstairs around 9 or 10. But, I have a hard time sleeping without my husband in the same room, so this time he came up with me. He was supposed to take care of the baby while I slept, but… First he sent me up with the baby so he could make bottles. Which, I understood, we take the night time bottles upstairs with us in a cooler so we don’t have to go up and down all night, and he tries to make enough to last me through the next day till he gets home. So then when he comes up, he decides he wants to take a shower. Which means I’m supposed to be sleeping, but instead have to listen for the baby. And then he has to go downstairs again cause he didn’t bring any clothes up with him. And he takes forever downstairs, and then comes back up and finally gets in the shower. At this point Cayden’s awake and isn’t tolerating being laid in his bassinet so I’m holding him. By the time Jeremy’s done in the shower I’ve managed to put him back down. So then about 20 minutes later Jeremy goes downstairs to get something, and Cayden wakes up again, hungry. So, I start to feed him. When Jeremy comes up, he doesn’t offer to take the baby and finish feeding him or anything. Instead, he waits till Cayden’s done and I’m burping him to say something along the lines of “I thought you were going to go to sleep?” and I said “I thought you were going to take care of the baby.” and he’s like “You have him” and I’m like “Yeah cause he was crying and needed to be fed and you were downstairs” and he’s like “You could have waited till I came back up” and I’m like oh, yeah I’ll just let him cry for however long you decide to take downstairs. Right. I mean he could have offered to take him when he comes back up. So then I hand him off to let Jeremy burp him, and then Jeremy puts him back down and everythings good. I fall asleep and I kinda heard Jeremy turn off the TV around 11:30. 11:40 I wake up to Cayden crying. Jeremy HAD to have heard him, but made NO move to get up with him, and when I “woke” him up (I don’t think he was sleeping) to say “are you getting the baby or am I?” he’s like “I don’t care” and that just frustrates the hell outta me. I’m up with Cayden all night. And I get it, I don’t HAVE to be up for good at any time the next day, so yes, I should be the one getting up all night. But if I’m sleeping, and you’re awake, you should get the damn baby. And he knows if I ask him if he’s getting Cayden or if I should do it, it’s because I want him to do it. So he starts to get up, and Cayden stopped fussing, so Jeremy laid back down. Which, OK, sometimes Cayden fusses in his sleep for no reason, I get it. 20 minutes later though, he’s up and you can tell he’s up for a reason. Yet Jeremy makes no move to get him. So, I get up. He stayed up from midnight till 1:30-2, and then was back up again at 4:30, and then was up again at 7:00. When he was up at 7, Jeremy woke up, and like came over to try to cuddle with me. I’m like, wth? I don’t want to cuddle, I want to make the baby go back to sleep so I can. But whatever. And then he sits up the whole time, talking to me and talking to Cayden, but doesn’t offer to take him for the hour before he has to get up and get ready for work so I can sleep. Then he’s like “You ready to go downstairs?” and Cayden’s getting ready to go back to sleep, so I figure I’ll just put him to sleep down in his pack and play, and that way I don’t have to wake him to move him from upstairs to downstairs. So I say yeah. Jeremy’s like, “go on down, I’ll get this stuff and come down in a minute.” so I go down and I’m waiting for him, and waiting and waiting. His ass went back to sleep! I’m just so frustrated and now Cayden WON’T go back to sleep and Jeremy can’t figure out why I’m so pissy.

21 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

so yea. goin on day three without any contact. wasnt planned. actually i figured maybe the first day or so of the trip i wouldn;t hear from him while he got settled and did his thing… but i dunno anymore. :-/

i tried calling last night… things had been fine before he left so i called to say hi and no answer and he never called back.

im trying to think about it in terms of him being on vacation doing his thing with his buddy,…. he’s been waiting for this trip all year. he does every year. but… i mean three days? can’t miss me that much huh. not the happiest mood today.

anyway back to the meeting. i’ll try and post something later today

21 10 2008
lara21167

Clo, I think your guy is great, but he is still a man and men are clueless. You honestly have to spell things out to them or they just won’t get it. Hope your day goes better than it started out.

Gabber – That’s great what you do, you are about my size I’m 5’4″ about 130 lbs and yes I would be scared dealing with the prisoners. Where I work we hire prisoners on work release. But these guys are in for asault, drugs, theft nothing too violent. The asaults are like bar fights or something dumb. But the guys are soooo polite. “Yes Mam” “No Mam” stuff. How do the prisoners you deal with respect you? And yes women can do any job a man can and still be a girl lol

Janey another beautifully dark poem. Did you ever try to get anything published?

Witchey – your Beau sounds great, sounds like he has good head on his shoulders. Congrats to the team!! Yea your youngest turning 4, no longer a baby that’s always hard.

Well everyone have a great day.

21 10 2008
Janelyse829

Lara-i started writing a book when i was in 8th grade. and i was getting all the paper work filled out to get it published cause i finished it in 10th grade but i just i wasnt confident enough in my own writing nd though i had wasted two years of my life writing a piece of crap and i decided not to go through with it. it sucks.

21 10 2008
Janelyse829

Witchy- your son sounds like a great kid.
must be a sign that you are doin something right, huh? lol
i know how you feel about your little boy turning four. Munckin turns four next aguast but when he turned three i was like “WHAT??? already??? i want him to stay like this forever!!!” you cant help but feel helpless that they are growing up and you cant do anything about it. my mom and i were having a conversation the other and she was staring at me. i was like “what?” she was like “when did you grow up?”

21 10 2008
Clo

Rowdy- i know it’s hard hon but he did want some space, and he is on vacay with a friend… try not to freak out until he gets home and you haven’t heard from him. i know its easier said than done, but when you freak yourself out, you’ll just make things worse.

lara- my hubbys a good guy but i really hate this whole “i know what you want me to do but im going to act clueless” game he likes to play. point blank he knows what he needs to do, he yells at me for mocrmanaging him all the time, so why should i have to sit down and explain that i have the baby all day and most of the evening so maybe he should give me a break. he knows it, he just doesn’t want to do it. things have not gotten better, cayden is still up, and i called jeremy to vent and ended up breaking the phone cause he pissed me off and i threw it. i’m about to just leave and go stay at my moms, i told him this and he’s like “i don’t understand why?” and i’m just lik… people help me when i’m there. he was like i watch the baby at night and I asked him when, when he was taking a shower, or when he was pretending to be asleep when the baby cried, or when he was letting me feed the baby and not offering to take over so I could sleep… And then he had the balls to yell at me cause when I first came upstairs I was looking at the baby book and talking on the phone… I’m like, do you not get that sometimes it’s nice for me to do things without a baby attached to me? (even as im writing this now, im holding him) and i mean, i’m trying to keep up on things like the baby book, which again jeremy doesn’t offer to do… which ok, is prolly a girl thing, but still… i spend ten minutes doing something alone thats not sleeping and suddenly that means its ok for jeremy to take the night off, after already having the whole freaking day away from the baby? i’m just so freaking frustrated

21 10 2008
Clo

Oh, and I forgot to mention that Jeremy also doesn’t want me to stop pumping because we mix formula and breast milk, so we only use half the formula and so he says we’re “saving money”. But then that’s just something else that takes away from sleep, AND we lost two pieces that we NEED to make my pump work, so now I have to use the manual pump, which takes twice as long, cause I can’t do both sides at once, AND last night at 3 AM when Cayden was fussing and I was leaking, guess who had to hold Cayden and feed him WHILE pumping at the SAME freaking time? Oh yeah, that was me.

Guess who was sleeping?

21 10 2008
Janelyse829

CLO-i know thats not the point of your story-but-you broke your phone? you must be really upset. take a deep breath and try to clam down. hope that your venting is making you feel a little better

21 10 2008
lara21167

Clo everything will get better honest. If you need to go to your mom’s it’s great you have that option. I never could pump. My son took to breast feeding very good, well after about the first week. My daughter made me sooo sore I couldn’t stand it and I wound up giving her a bottle of formula (I had all these samples) I tried electric pumps and hand pumps and just couldn’t get anything out. Funny story to lighten your day. My son’s father’s cousin got married soon after I had my son. I very big wedding, huge reception. Her hubby’s parents were pretty well off and had a supply of champain. Well I figured a glass or 2 of champain wouldn’t hurt. I have a weekness with champain. I can’t stop drinking it and between my husband’s aunt and myself we downed 2 bottles!! So I go home pretty tipsy. My mother in law (who lived in a basement apartment of our house) was watching the baby. I substituted formula when he was with the babysitter or whatever. Anyway I tried to pump the tainted milk out with the intention of throwing it away. I couldn’t get any damn milk out and I was sore and leaking and had to let him nurse. Well he slept really good that night haha.

Rowdy as I told Clo, men are clueless they are also insensitive and when they are with their buddies god forbid that they show that they miss their woman!! So like Clo said don’t freak yet. He should call just to let you know he’s fine. When you call again, and I know you will, if he doesn’t answer just leave a message that your worried and want to know that he made it ok, maybe that’ll get him to call back.

21 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Hey Ladies

Lara:
Ya the guys here only start the yes mam’ stuff when you are a new guard or if you are a convic hugger as we call them. Usually to get something they want and can’t have. You basicly have 2 types of guards the smartassed ones or the convichugger. Iam not liked by many of the prisoners and I really have to watch my back there thank god I have a great partner. I actually had a close call last night at work. But it keeps the job interesting. There is alot of drama in the prisons and its not just with the prisoners.

Rowdy:
As hard as it might seem you can’t call him. Wait for him to call you. I work with mostly males and they say that when they get close to a women and it seems like they could get comfortable they get scared , Maybe he just needs this time to be with his buddies and to do the guy thing for a bit give him some space. I know its hard Just reach deep into your soul and pull out the great woman that you are .

Clo:
uggg I know what you are saying my ex husband was the same way. With our first child OMG, Lets just say I didn’t have it easy and he went back to work they day after I had her. I had no family around so no extra help. Plus I had three rows of 60 stiches down there. Men can be so clueless about it all. But things will get better I promise you that. Um I don’t know if you have one but there is a pillow for moms to help with holding the baby while feeding its like a donut that opens and goes around your waist so you just put the baby on it and support his head while breast feeding try the nipple shield again. Um also you can just use your pillows and make it so the baby is on the pillow just like the other one I was talking about so you will have a hand free. I pumped for 6 weeks then gave up and went to formula. gabee just wouldn’t latch right so I was sore and with Jazzie we had alot of the guards coming over from work when I had her and I didn’t feel right feeding her infront of 6 or 7 men just not right lol. So she went to formula right away.

21 10 2008
Janelyse829

Lara-
that was funny. it sounds like you had a very good time at that wedding!

Gabber-is there a lot of conflict between the prisoners? or are they all in seperate cells?

21 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Jane:
Yes there is alot of conflict between the prisoners. We try to keep them seperated and any sign of them getting to that point on is transfered to another cell block. We know which inmates can be together, . There are 2 to a cell. last night I actually had to use my PPA for help with a prisoner. There have been 3 riots in the last 7 months and one hostage taking. These men aren’t the friendliest people until they want to get something or think they can get under your skin.

21 10 2008
lara21167

Gabber, yes always watch your back. I live in Hagerstown Md. We have 3 prison. Not Max security. but a prisoner oh I think it’s been 2 -3 years ago, probably 2. anyway a prisoner complained of a pain (he actually had stuck a needle in his side, something like that) He wasn’ t in for anything real bad. Anyhoo 1 guard went to the hospital with him. The guard sounded like a nice guy and allowed the prisoner a little more leeway than he should have I suppose. Anyway the prisoner somehow overpowered the guard who was a really big man, shot and killed the guard with his own gun. Ran through the hospital, tried to take a hostage but the woman he tried to grab got away. Got into a cab and they drove off. The cab driver had his radio tuned in so he could be tracked. and they finally caught him after crossing the state line. This guy is now in Lebinon (is that right, the really bad prison you hear about??) So yes please watch your back and don’t ever let your guard down.

21 10 2008
Janelyse829

Thats crazy. Gabber you must have a lot of guts to work there. dont you get scared sometimes? are you ever alone with the prisoners or must you always have your partner?
again i would be scared shitless!!!

21 10 2008
Clo

Gabber, tried the nipple shield again and he just won’t take it. My milk is in, and it seems like when I pump it comes out fast, but he still just gets SO angry and just screams his head off. He’ll nurse for abour a minute, I know he’s getting stuff, but then he’ll just start screaming. I also have the pillow you’re talking about, a boppy, but I don’t use it really. Because of my incision, I couldn’t wrap anything around me like that, so I just started folding up a flat pillow and putting it under my arm, that works well.

My husband and I talked again and ended up getting into it more, and he hung up on me, so at this point I’m kinda like fuck him (pardon my french) He just doesn’t get it. And it just makes me SO angry that he’s ALWAYS on my case saying I “micro-manage” him, yet when the baby is crying he wants me to ASK him to take him? I’m like, you’ve got ears, why can’t you just get up and do it on your own? Then he says he could get up with the baby at night and still go to work and not complain. I’m like, yeah right, when you were OFF work you would bitch about getting up once at night, and get short with the baby… i just quit him.

21 10 2008
Witchypoo

Oh, Cloey…I can’t help but chuckle while reading your account of the “goings-on” at Baby-Central, (previously known as Laura’s & Jeremy’s residence). No, I’m not making light of your frustration, Sweetie…believe me, I know how you’re feeling. Just like Lara commented, men don’t usually have a clue…even when they know what you want, (questionable, at best) – they still don’t usually understand WHY you want it, or why it’s so important to you. Men don’t seem to get the deeper meaning behind the literal realities of what we’re requesting from them. It’s like this: wife says she’d love a few minutes to just relax by herself, maybe reading or whatever; husband says, “Yeah, sure, whatever…give him to me.” So, just as wife is settling down to reading, or whatever, husband gets distracted with something – could be anything – and puts baby back down for a minute. Baby starts wailing instantly, and LOUDLY, while husband continues with his task. Wife can’t stand the crying, feels guilty, etc.,…comes to pick up baby, irritated, asking, “But, I thought you were going to take over for a while? What’s going on?”; husband is like, “Yeah…I was doing this or that – he’s fine.” Wife is exasperated…”But, I can’t RELAX when he’s screaming, now can I?!” Husband is getting annoyed, “What’s your problem? I SAID I’d help?” Wife: “It’s not HELPING when I can hear him crying! Just FORGET IT!!!” Husband: “Ok…if you’d rather take him anyway…” You can sub in any words/circumstances, and the basic dynamic is the same: men just aren’t as subtle as we are; they don’t usually get that moms often feel a heavy sense of guilt, (irrational/emotional as it often is) – that we feel responsible for not only our baby’s happiness and well-being…but everyone else’s who we’re close with, also; that we think, even subconsciously, that it’s our JOB to make sure everything is RIGHT in our general vicinity. Guys are just so one-track-minded…they can easily tune things out; we naturally multi-task, so the compulsion to ALWAYS be busy/useful runs deep in females. What does this tendency result in sometimes? Answer: we get TIRED, and DISCOURAGED, sometimes – and OVERWHELMED…and we want some help, maybe even just an understanding attitude, but don’t know how exactly to verbalize this need. Then we get cranky, (yes, bitchy)…and the fun just continues. I think this scenerio, (or something similar), has been going on since the beginning of domesticity. Was hurling the phone helpful in releasing some pent-up frustration – at least for a minute? You can hand it to him when he gets home, saying, “Make yourself useful; fix it, will ya?” Or, is it beyond fixing? Anyway, don’t feel alone, Cloey…we’re all pretty familiar with slight variations of what you’re describing. Before you know it, he’ll do something incredibly sweet, and you’ll remember why you love him so much.

Goldie, I’m sorry to hear that you’re still feeling down about the boo situation. It sounds like he’s bent on just focusing on the get-away, for now. Do you have access to any hot/cute/sweet/funny males who you can call on to distract you for the time being? It always seems that as soon as your attention is diverted AWAY from any particular man, he has some kind of weird, annoying sixth sense that hones his radar right back to you. Ironically, by this time, you’re not as interested in his undivided attention anymore…because you’re having FUN doing something else, with SOMEONE else. I’m speaking in general terms, about women/men overall. Have you thought about just going out and enjoying yourself with other people for the time being…just to distract yourself and feel better? Or, are you just not interested in that, right now? I hope you’re not despairing too much, Sunshine.

Janey…wow, you sure wake up quickly to create that wistful poem at 3 am! I’m pretty groggy during the pre-dawn hours…my brain doesn’t function very well in “creative mode” right out of a sound sleep. You express what a lot of us feel, but rarely relate to others…it seems like a lot of your poems convey an elusive type of yearning: hard to nail down in concrete terms…but always present and felt by most people. Very nice…

Lara…I like your latest installment of the ‘Naughty-Joe Adventures’. I wonder if they’re ever going to replace him? It seems like the blog is really popular – don’t you think?

Yeah, the spawn growing up is often bittersweet. It seems to be a mother’s lot in Life to always feel conflicted about her babies moving on to the next stage. However, Girls…I don’t know about you, but I know I’ll ALWAYS feel like – deep down – my kids are still my BABIES, and always will be. I guess the trick is when to know the right times to let them “fly” on their own; yeah, THAT’S the challenging part.

Take care Ladies.

21 10 2008
Witchypoo

Yeah…ok, Ladies: what I wrote crossed with all your latest installments, and I just read them. Let’s just agree to the obvious: sometimes, men are just giant ASSES. That’s all. Take care.

21 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Lara:
See with us if we are transporting any prisoner they are shackled at the feet and at the wrists.then a cuff going to both sets kinda like you see in the movies. There is alway 2 guards and 2 ERT staff there so no chance plus if they start to run we shoot no second thoughts on that. The hostage taking was 2 weeks ago and it wasn’t against a guard . we were trying to transport a guy to another prison and he went into his cell and shut the window then slipped a note out if we entered he would kill his roomate so we called ERT in they got the command if they have a feeling he would do it to kill the prisoner 14 hours later he gave himself up.

This is how much the prisoners like me I was smiling at my partner because he said soemthing funny and the guy told me to wipe the smile off my face or he would do it for me. Well I got a bit cocky and said here I am go for it. Told him to get in his cell. Anyways Ihave to write a report on it because he basicly threatened me. In that time he went up to get something to eat when the Keeper who is my boss came down to talk to the guy as he read my report and charge him they searched his cell and he actually brought down a rock. When they asked him what it was for he said he was going to wipe the smile off my face with it.
You can’t show these guys you are scared at anytime because then they think that they can get their way and they will do anything to get there.
I am a guard that doesn’t back down and I don’t give them what they want.
A convic Hugger is a gurad that bends over backwards to make the prisoner like him so there is no conflict there.

Jane:
9 times out of 10 I am with my partner but there is always a chance that I could be by myself with an inmate. My partner is alot like me we both like to cause shit so we make a great team. My partner is on the ERT so if he gets called to another prison for a riot or if he has to escort priosners to another prison out of our area then I have to work with a new person. That is when I have my guard upthe most because with my partner we have that trust and I know he’s there. The only time I am scared is when I am teamed up with a convic Hugger.

21 10 2008
Janelyse829

Gabber-
Thats crazy. I kinda got the feelin you were one of the ‘smartasses’
but i enjoy people who have a sarcastic sense of humor. they are the funniest
does your job have any influence on how strict you are with your daughters?

21 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Jane:
No I leave work at work and home life at home. But I do have to do alot to protect my family

21 10 2008
Clo

i threw the phone cause when i’m mad i have a tendency to throw things. not at anyone just… at the wall, at the ground, across the room. i haven’t done it in awhile cause its kinda childish, but i was just sooooo mad. and witchy what you said about hubby taking him? sooooo right on. like last night he went to take a shower right after we came upstairs, his logic was cause cayden was sleeping. which, of course, cayden woke up and then who had him? oh yeah, me. i don’t have a problem letting cayden cry, if i know he doesn’t need anything. but if i’m trying to sleep and cayden is wailing and jeremy’s not around, of course i’m going to get him… i’m not going to be able to sleep anyway… i dunno. jeremy apologized and promised to help more but i’m still mad. it’s like he tries to say he knows what it’s like being up all night with cayden and i’m just like you don’t. cause when he was off and get up at night we’d take turns and even if he got up the majority of the night i’d take him in the morning. idunno, men are dumb as hell.

21 10 2008
lara21167

Gabber, this guard had the prisoner shackled. But apparently the prison kept asking to go the bathroom while they were at the hospital. He wasn’t a violent prisoner (or so they thought) and I guess the guard didn’t think he was a threat and either took the shackles off completely or just had him handcuffed to the bed. No one knows for sure. This guy was so bad they had to put mittens on his hands when transporting him because he stuck up his middle figures flicking off the news cameras and cursing them. The judge only sentenced him to life in prison because he said the death penalty would cause an appeal and he didn’t want to put the guards family through that. The guards at the baltimore high security prison where he was sent, felt threaten so off to Lebinon (or whatever) he went. You seem smart with the ways of the cons so always be careful.

21 10 2008
lara21167

Cloey you said it “Men are dumb as hell”!!

21 10 2008
janelyse829

hahaha you guys are soo right. but then when they want something they are all nice and they know what to say. some women fall for it but i thinks its just disrespectful. Ezi knows better than to kiss up when he wants something after he did something wrong. and if he does he knows right where i’ll tell him to go and wht ill tell him to do and he can do it all by his lonesome =]

21 10 2008
Clo

I dunno if you guys ever watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force… My brother does so I’ll catch it every once in awhile. It’s kinda stupid, but kinda funny too, it’s a grown up cartoon with a shake, a french fry box guy, and a meatball named meatwad… Anyway meatwad is really dumb, and one of the things he says is “Shoot, I’m so dumb as hell.” Which every time my husband does something stupid I just want to say to him. Like shoot hon, you’re so dumb as hell.

I dunno, the main struggle in our marriage is the “playing dumb” game he likes to pull. Like how he’ll ask me something when he already knows the answer (like he has this side business moving, and when we were dating I worked all week at a summer camp and was only home on weekends, and that’s when he primarily moves, on weekends. I knew it was a source of extra cash for him, so I didn’t ask him to stop taking moving jobs, just to either keep one day open for me, or to respect if we had made solid plans for that day in advance, to not schedule a moving job for that day. And ALL the time he’d call and ask me if it was OK if he’d take a job, even when he knew we had plans.)

Makes me want to punch him in the face.

21 10 2008
Janelyse829

Gabber- as i mentioned before, my brother in law is in the army.
and i really think the first word my niece and nephew said was ‘respect’
i mean he’s a great guy but he’s super strict and “hardcore” and its because the army isnt a job to him its a lifestyle. that’s why asked. people in any type of law enforcement tend to be a bit harder on their kids because they KNOW the law and it would look bad if it was their kid who screwed up, you know?

22 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

So we had contact last night. Phew. I really did start to lose hope. Pathetic. I know lol. But yea. He called to say hi. He kinda made fun of me cause he woke me up and I guess I sounded so happy to hear from him. I was like it’s been so long! And he said, it’s only been a two days! And I said three and he said still. And I was like yea but I missed you and he said I know, I miss you too. He sounded so calm. It was nice. to hear him calm and unstressed. He couldn’t talk long. He was really cold. He told me he didn’t get reception in his room but he said he would try and call me earlier tonight so he could catch up with me. I told him not to worry about it. To concentrate on his trip and I’d be around when he got back. He said he’d try and call anyway. I won’t worry if I dont hear from him. Now I know he is there safe. It was just good to hear his voice. sigh.

22 10 2008
Witchypoo

Good morning, Ladies. Hey, Goldie…are you there? Getting kind of concerned why you haven’t been around at all for a while. Is everything ok?

Cloey, your tendency to throw things while angry made me remember a time – a LONG time ago – when Jerry and I were first living together, (we had only been living in our apartment for a couple of months). We got into it the morning after some party/social event we’d gone to, (details are really sketchy – that’s how important the actual events were)…I think I felt like he was looking for things to be pissed about, and he felt like I wasn’t paying attention to his feelings, or something, (i.e. he was feeling jealous…which stupified me, since I was crazy about him). Anyway, we really started yelling at each other, and one or the other threw something at the wall; I do remember eventually picking up the phone I’d recently bought, (and really liked, since it was cute and fit in with the colors/decor of the place, such as it was), hurling it at the wall, watching it break. We kept it up for about 20 minutes, and the guy in the apartment next to us called the police. It was ridiculous, since there wasn’t any actual violence – just the noise of a few things hitting the wall…and our yelling. I guess it might have sounded pretty bad to him, though, hahaha. Anyway, a couple of really nice officers, (this is embarrassing to tell…I don’t know why I am), came and questioned us separately – to make sure we weren’t killing each other, most likely. They probably see some weird things in domestic disputes. Anyway, they could obviously see that we were just a couple of dumb kids…”working things out” in a negative, loud way. We were really honest with them – I think we told them the exact nature of the disagreement…and they were really nice and understanding. I thought one of us, (probably Jerry, since he’s the guy), was going to get carted off to jail, (that law about police being required to almost always take SOMEONE when there’s a domestic dispute). We were pleasantly surprised when they just patted us on the back, said a few encouraging words, and basically told us to behave ourselves, (translation: fight quieter, next time…since there surely would be a “next time”). Hahaha…yeah, good times. We didn’t make any kind of habit out of having to confess our private troubles to the police, btw…that experience was enough to learn by. Anyhoo…just thought I’d relate that little gem to you to illustrate the fact that EVERYONE has their troubles in the primary relationship…it’s inevitable. As a matter of fact, it amazes me that more new parents/lovers don’t manage to fight their way out of their relationships; both sets of circumstances can be stressful, and full of adjustment for each partner. Are you and Jeremy doing better? Just don’t throw the phone! Hahaha, (actually, over the years, I’ve hurled more than one phone while in a tizzy).

How’s everyone else?

Take care.

22 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

I;m ok, thanks. When I get down I kinda keep to myself. Sleep a bit. Unwind. relax. Thankfully I don’t throw things. I can’t afford a new phone. This one cost me too much as it is (iphone). I’m a bit obsessed with it.

I left it at home yesterday and instead of taking lunch I actually drove all the way back to get it (I ahd to run a few errands anyway that were close to my apt so it was ok… although I could have run them around the office too and opted to run them there so I could grab the phone lol).

I TRIED going without it. But I missed it.

22 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

Re: Law Enforcement. I think its really situational. Some are very strict and others are just your everyday person. I think it depends on who the person was.

My ex’s brother was in service and then joined law enforcement when he was released (he went back recently). Regardless, while we were dating I still partook in some… shall we say… recreational activities (of the misdemeanor level!)… not necessarily in front of him out of respect, but he was well aware of who I was and what I enjoyed. His brother never did although he had in the past, and his brother had in the past before joining service, but I did once or twice in front of his brother. They joked around with me about it and called me a hippie all of the time since I am VERY liberal and they are mucho conservative.

If I am at all a “hippie” it is only in a political sense. Not the sense that most children have corrupted the meaning. And not in an extremist sense. I take a Timothy Leary approach to certain (not all) substances. They should be used for a higher state of enhancement and learning, rather than pure recreation, and should never be abused. Everything in moderation. And of course there are limits. I’ve had my share of battles in the past. I won’t get into details and will say that now-a-days I stay away from pretty much everything but a cool brewsky (or scotch) and perhaps a “ciggerette” on the occassion.

Now that I’ve shared an enormously personal bit about myself (I am movign to Cali afterall), I ask that we don’t judge! lol. Not that we would but. Yea. Maybe that will be a blog. I wanted to keep this anti political but I think if we all keep an open mind we are ok right?

22 10 2008
Witchypoo

Ok, Goldie, it figures that as soon as I comment, someone jumps in just ahead of me…and once again, I’m one step behind. In this case, though, I’m just really happy, (and relieved), to find that you are doing ok. You seemed so desolate the last time you commented…I was beginning to wonder what was going on. There you go: everything is fine with your guy…and he still feels all the things he’s supposed to feel for you. You were panicking over fears that were blown way out of proportion, right? Probably because your’s is a relatively new relationship…and you haven’t had enough of a chance to guage firsthand how your guy deals with serious conflict between the two of you – you’re just trying to get your balence right now. After you know each other better, (in person), not every fight/disagreement/negative experience will feel like the whole relationship is on the line. You’ll be like, “Eh…he’ll get over it.” Hahaha. It’s good to hear from you, though…what have you been up to?

Take care.

22 10 2008
Gabberjazz

wow Witchy
I see you more as the calm and collected type, but I guess we all have tempers…
Thats is too funny about the police coming over I am happy they didn’t take someone in. I once smashed all the dishes on my exhusband because he told me he didn’t want to help me this was 4 days after I had my first daughter so I said fine you don’t want to help here you go took out the garbage can and smashed every last dish and said hmmm now you can’t dirty them.

Rowdy;

I am so happy for you, I guess sometimes when we don’t know whats up we think the worst I guess its just human nature

Hope all you Ladies are doing well today

22 10 2008
Janelyse829

hey guys!!!!
How is everyones day going?
its super cold and i didnt want to go out because i love new york but i HATE the cold buuuuut….i gotta go run some arrends so….i guess i have to leave my warm, cozy house. =[

22 10 2008
Witchypoo

Heeheehee, Gabberjazz…yeah, that little story isn’t my normal type of behavior. Not too many people can elicit a really emotional, passionate response from me…my husband is one of the lucky few, (we definitely have “spark” between us). Plus, it was a long time ago, when we were just getting used to living with each other. I don’t blow up often…but, unless you possess the IQ of a slug, I think most everyone has the potential to let some temper fly, if the right buttons are pushed by the right person. Your story about the dishes is hilarious…men really don’t get how taxing it is on a woman’s body/emotions to give birth and nurture a baby, do they? I’m always amazed when I realize this. You sound like a really interesting person…lots of layers and depth.

Take care everyone.

22 10 2008
Witchypoo

Janey…stay bundled out in that cold, New York weather, Sweetie, and we’ll talk to you later. Take care.

22 10 2008
lara21167

Hello ladies, Janey it’s a bit chilly here in Maryland too. Actually it is beautiful, but I hate cold weather.

Rowdy – Glad you are feeling better. You remind me of myself (several years ago) always thinking the worst when it comes to guys. They just don’t understand what one little phone call will do haha Btw I for one won’t judge what you do (I grew up in the 80’s afterall) lol

Witchy – I am shocked!! haha. I’m joking we all have had our moments and love will bring us there!!

Gabber – love the dishes story!! Problem is when we do something like that we screw ourselves. Who has to go out and buy new dishes? Course that can be fun lol.

Cloey – How are you today. Didn’t off the hubby did you? My 1st played dumb like that. Actually I think they all do to a degree. I’ll catch my hubby checking out some girl (usually a young girl I don’t feel he has any business looking at) And I’ll say something and he’ll say “whaaat?” Real stupidly and I have to take a deep breath to keep from slapping him.

22 10 2008
Gabberjazz

I wonder how much it costs to get a cat out of Jail

22 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

I’m never worried about younger women and boo. For one thing, I’m 7 years his jr and its sometimes an inner battle he deals with. He’s not huge on the fact that I am so much younger. Brings up the fact that Im behind on a lot of the pop culture he grew up with. Hes a child of the 80s and while I was DEFINITELY around in the 80s I was singing My Little Pony while he was rapping along with Fuck The Police. Now cougars and boo? Different story! Hahahaha. He was basically “attacked” by two in a one month period. I swear. Boo walks outside and the Cougs throw the claws out.

They aren’t even subtle about it. In his line of work he sometimes has to ask personal questions. One was “Are you married.” Her answer? “Unfortunately, but, that doesn’t mean I can’t have some fun, right? [wink wink]” She left and his office was CRACKING up. He left me texts that day saying “Unny! I was almost attacked! Where are you!” I thought he really meant attacked. Turns out he was just clawed by some desperate woman hahahahaha.

His birthday card this year (ok one of many. I think I sent 4 or 5 in total, hes not big on gettnig older but he is definitely big on celebrating… HIM…) was something along the lines of “I think you are officially too old for Cougars to solicit you for filthy intergenational sex” and then I wrote “PPSSSHHHH we both know you’ll never be too old for filthy intergenerational sex”

22 10 2008
Janelyse829

okay-im back. Damn its cold!!!

Gabber-your question caracked me up! is there any particular reason why you want to know that?

rowdy-the bday card thing was funny. and the ‘attack’ thing was even funnier. i cant satnd when other girls look at my baby. it makes me madddddd. but then i dont care because he never loooks at them or acknowledges the fact that they are looking at him. at least not in fron of me he doesnt =]

witchy-yes i am bundled up buuuut i just dont like the cold. need to move to a warmer place

22 10 2008
Clo

I didn’t leave last night, I was kinda miffed cause I felt like I wasn’t done yelling but no matter what I said, Jeremy wouldn’t take the bait, so I couldn’t pick a fight. But I got over it. I have a really quick temper, but it also fizzles out really quickly. I get bored with fighting easily, lol. He said he’d try to help more and he was OK last night… It’s hard for him to find a middle ground I think. Like he started to get mad at me cause I took Cayden while he was cooking dinner and he’s like “I thought you wanted me to take him” and it’s just… I don’t expect the impossible, I don’t expect him to do 30 things at once. It’s just, he has a hard time keeping me in mind sometimes (it stems for his first marriage, they weren’t really married. I mean legally they were, but they just didn’t really do anything together, so it’s like they were married but not?) So my whole point about the other night is it would have been nice if he showered when I was up and he was just watching TV, instead of waiting till I decided I wanted to sleep. My sister came over last night to watch the baby at night, which was a god send cause I was so exhausted I think I wouldn’t physically be able to do it.

We’re having issues with my brother again. *sigh* I’m sure everyone has those family members who you feel bad for in one breath but then kinda resent in another breath? Like shitty things DO happen to my brother, but in a way he sometimes asks for it. And I just worry a lot, because my mom takes care of him, and I don’t know what’s going to happen to him when she dies (which hopefully won’t be anytime soon, but you never know.) cause I’m not going to take care of him like that. Anyway, my Mom called last night to say goodnight and I joked about her coming over (cause Cayden started crying while I was on the phone so I was like, are you going to rush over here and stop him?) and she was like “I can’t leave, I’m on suicide watch”

My brother had called my sister earlier and asked if she had a jacket he could borrow. We knew this was a ploy to get my sister to ask WHY he needed a jacket, so she did, and he’s like “I’m going out to look for those guys that jumped me.” Now, if my brother got jumped in broad daylight, you think he’d be smart enough to NOT go out at night, right? So then he called back and Lizzie didn’t hear the phone, so he left a voicemail that was like “I couldn’t find a jacket, so I’m wearing a suit jacket. *sigh* I… *sigh* I just. I love you, you know that right?” and then he hung up. Apparently my Mom said she had to go get him and make him come back inside (I would have just let his ass go, he’s being stupid) Anyway, I guess it all started cause his xbox broke? (remember how I said he doesn’t take good care of things? This is his 3rd broken xbox) And then he started in on my mom saying nobody wanted to help him, and that he wants to learn how to drive? (Which, my brother is Mr. Magoo, he can’t see the nose on his face, and my mom’s bought him glasses before that he just loses or breaks, and he’s not on her health insurance anymore, soooo I mean, she’s not going to spend that much money out of pocket to buy him glasses that he’s just going to lose and break again.) And my mom told him he needs help (mentally) and that he should get on disability, and that way they can help him do things like go to the doctor so he can get on some medicine, and get therapy and help him, and I guess he said he doesn’t trust “those people” and he wants the people “that love him to help him” Which, is what my mom’s trying to do, by trying to get him to get to someone who can help him… It’s just crazy. And I’m stuck, cause what I think my mom should do, is give him an ultimatium, which is get help or get out, which she’ll never do, so what’s the point?

Family, can’t live with them, can’t murder them.

Rowdy- I’m glad you heard from your boo, and I’m glad all is well. You sound a lot happier, I know it’s probably a total weight off your shoulders. And the cell phone thing? It’s funny, cause I used to be addicted to my cell phone like that, and now I hardly EVER carry it, it’s always dead anyway.

Lara- My husband doesn’t check out other women, at least not in front of me (I’m not dumb enough to think that he doesn’t find other girls hot, but I’ve honestly never caught him, so… Whatever, lol.) Sometimes I’ll ask him “Would you bang her?” and it’s funny cause sometimes he’ll be like “nooooo” with this huge grin on his face, and I’m like, you are SUCH a liar.

22 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Lol My cat went missing while I was at work Sat night I guess he jumped off our deck and the lady below couldn’t get ahold of me so she took him to the pound and just told me about it yesterday after we put up posters. lol

22 10 2008
lara21167

You know it’s funny just how many “cougars” there are out there. I know I’m at that age, I suppose, but I would have a real problem being with someone I’d say 35 or younger (I’m 41) I’d feel like I was robbing the cradle. And It doesn’t bother me if my hubby looks at other women. (except if they are ugly, I feel insulted) But he’s been checking out younger girls like early 20’s Guess he’s a male cougar?? That just creeps me out and I try to tell him he’s too old to check out 20 something girls. haha I guess I delt with men like that since I was a teenager so I know how creepy it is.

Speaking of creepy rival cheer team in my area made the local paper. this cheer team called “Heat” has a coach that was convicted of writing bad checks 3 years or so ago. Then she held a bingo fundraiser and skimmed money off the top of a tip jar and is back in court. Anyhoo there is a write up about it in the on line version of our Local Newspaper. and they have a comment section. I’ve been reading the comments off and on all day. I mean you would not believe the way the parents from this team defend her and what is funny is one commentor mentioned these parents were like a cult. The more I read the more cultish they do sound. Talking about the “program”!! I will just keep my daughter where she is. We just want the kids to have fun and try their best. We don;t have a “program” . It sounds kind of scary if you read those comments.

22 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

LoL does that make boo a Tiger? (thats what I call male cougars?) Cause Im 7 years younger. I’m in my mid 20s.

Women that are 10-20 years older than he is hit on him all the time. He thinks it is funny.

Nemo doesn’t really run away. (BTW Janelyse he is good. Sorry I forgot to response to that yesterday… he loves his momma… which he can sorta even say… it comes out as woooo wooooo woooo or something but i know what hes trying to say cause whenever I say “I LOVE MY MOMMA” in a weird voice he kinda whines the same amount of words back… we’re getting there… he was REALLY lovey yesterday… just wanted to be rubbed and kissed). He’s learning to stay nearby… we are working on training right now. Better late than never. He is pretty good with Sit, Drop (lay down), Crawl (crawls toward me but only if i have a treat), Stay, Up (back up from laying down to a sitting or standing position) and high five (he jumps up to give me a high five) and Wait (he waits to be given a treat) oh and Gentle (gently takes the treat OR if we are playing rough it sometimes calms him down… cause he plays REALLY rough). He’ll be four in december I think and he still acts like he is 1 or 2. I want to work on him not jumping on people when they walk in the door and walking on a leash better to not even needing one. He’s getting much better. Hes just hyper. I know if I took him on more walks we would get there. But. Yea. Its mostly my fault. OH and barking. The barking thing is an issue. I know how to correct most of it. I just have to work on it. Like I have to GET him barking and then stop him. So he understands the stop commands. And most of the “commands” he already knows I don’t need treats for already. Hes smart. But not so bright.

22 10 2008
Clo

Rowdy- Can you come train my dogs? Tater can learn, cause she’s very food motivated. She’s just really hyper and I lose patience with her quick. Louie, however, is a lost cause. He’s kinda like eff the treat, I’m staying right when I am, thanks.

Gabber- I think it depends on what the pound is. I know our local shelter has a fee, and I think it costs more if your dog (which, I know you said it’s a cat, but yeah…) doesn’t have it’s tags.

22 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Well I called it cost 35.00 so thats not bad. Poor Zoey I feel bad for him. We have a dog too her name is Ginger she well is still a pup but wild. I just have to say the word submissive and she rolls onto her back in that position and waits for me to tell her to get up. Funny how that word works.
Anyways I just found out for the next three weeks i will have a new partner who I don’t trust as my partner’s girlfriend had their baby last night. I just asked him about the word for a man instead of cougar for a woman and he said lol just horny but then he said its “manther”

i can remember the weekend before I broke up with my ex we took the kids mini golfing and he was staring at this woman it was so out there staring so I said to him would you like me to go ask to take her picture so you can go home and drool over it a bit more..

22 10 2008
lara21167

Good one Gabber

22 10 2008
Gabberjazz

I think I just made the worst relization of my life!!!!
I think this is what thinking too much isn’t a good thing.

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