The Waiting Game

27 10 2008

I don’t have too much to post today. Lately my life has been a waiting game. Waiting for the clock to hit 5 and work to end (I am still here till the 15th). Waiting for a position to decide my future. Waiting for an email to send, a new resume to get reviewed; waiting for a response from someone, anyone.

Mostly waiting for this one position to finally get back to me. It’s probably not the best thing that I am putting my hopes into one basket (hopes, eggs, same thing right)? But with this economy and the phrase “you’re fired” being heard more often than “you’re hired” is making optimism hard to come by.

I’m going back and forth between “no news is good news” and “why do you, always want to give me the runaround.”

I’ve become the desperate girl waiting for the boy from one good date to call. Digging through my purse at every vibration, praying that an email has come in, or perhaps that missed call will be the unknown 818 number I am so desperate to see.

Tell me, since when did applying for work become so much like dating?

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130 responses

27 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

Oh, since we were talking about dreams I sort of remember one from last night.

I was walking around on this pier kind of area. Like one side is a big dune and then at the bottom is the beach and then the other side is a boardwalk with restaurants and stuff. To get to the beach you had to walk on the dune a little bit and then there was a natural walkway down to the beach. It was a decent drop too. You couldnt just walk down the dune – too steep.

So I wanted to get down to the beach to the water for some reason, which is odd since I am afraid of swimming in the ocean and I think the weather was too cool for swimming. And there were ducks everywhere on the ledge of the dune that you could jump off of to get to the Natural walkway. I think you could reach the walkway by the boardwalk too but I didn’t want to… I THINK because it was either crowed or the birds? I should mention I am afraid of birds. So there are some big roots/branches that come off of the boardwalk too and I was walking around t hem trying to avoid a lot of duck shit and I realized more and more are flying over and I started getting scared so I decided to turn back and now I’m halfway between the too but the walkway seems much farther than the place I can crawl back up onto the boardwalk. Then I realize there are THOUSANDS of birds… not just ducks anymore.. I don’t know what the other birds were but their talons were really big and thick, like long nails instead of bird feet. And the sand got really steep there too so I had to use a root to walk across and the birds are perched under it and their feet are sticking out every which way like barbed wire almost. They are EVERYWHERE… just sitting watching me. Pooping.

Then there was someone on the boardwalk and I don’t know HOW OLD but I think the person was female and they reached out and just as I was about to get back on the boardwalk with their help everything goes blank.

I know the water was really calm. I know it was the ocean. The sand was beige and the water blue but everything else was kinda black and whiteish. I don’t remember if the roots had color and I know the “talons” where a weird iridescent kind of brown. The person who helped me was faceless in that I cant remember what they looked like how old they were, etc. I know I was REALLY nervous in the dream because birds scare the shit out of me. Im ok when its just ONE and its someone’s pet and they can assure me it won’t bite… but when it comes to large birds or groups of them I get REALLY anxious.

27 10 2008
mt

ok, JANE- that girl sounds ridiculous. i wouldn’t take her too lightly. next thing you know she’ll start boiling your bunnies. oh, and you made me laugh about your outfit and fighting. my friend told me once that she got in a fight with this girl, over a boy, but not how you think…long story. anyway, rachel was wearing a skirt and heels (she’s like a toothpick, too) and she told me that as she was on top of this girl punching her, she was thinking to herself “what am i doing? i don’t like to fight. i’m girly. i’m supposed to like pink and frilly things…” it was too funny.

and CLO- ummmm. wow. i TOTALLY agree with you. sometimes i think to myself “HOW do girls GET like this? what happened in their life to make them so freaking crazy…and to think it’s ok?” and you remember how you couldn’t figure out how your hubby’s ex found out your mayspace? do you have a facebook that could possible have that info on it? maybe she joined a network you’re in…

LARA- i hope your niece gets it all firgured out. it’s a good thing that there’s someone there willing to adopt the baby from the baby-daddy.

my honey saved a guy from falling from a ship into the water today. no details yet, but it should be an interesting story. and, uh, LEO’S BLOG IS ENDING? oh no. 😦 that makes me sad. i really like her. it would be stupid for cosmo to not do blogs…that’s a huge part of today’s culture…stupid.

ROWDY- it’s probably a goodsign somebody was helping you, and that the birds weren’t exactly attacking you. even though they had talons. it probably symbolizes the fear you’ve got about your job right now, and you’re hoping that someone will do something to help you…(like maybe a female HR rep calling you?…) btw, i don’t like birds either. i’m always afraid they’ll go crazy and pluck my eyes out. but ducks are cute. they’re quacks aren’t even annoying, like all other birds and their damn chirpping.

27 10 2008
lara21167

MT – Congrats to your hero man. Can’t wait to hear the details…

27 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

Yea. I’ve been so stressed over everything that I literally have heartburn. it sucks.

I called them today. It may or may not have been a mistake but. I left a message. Said I hope her flight went well and asked if she would call me back at her earliest convenience. I want to follow up with an email but I’ll wait till the end of the week to do that. Im kinda buggin. Boo says to relax. That everything happened for a reason (me losing this job) and he wanted me to wait till wednesday to call. I jumped the gun. Not smart. I should listen to him more. But Im such a nervous wreck that I called.

Anyway Im HOPING they call me back today. Sometimes when I call they call me closer to the evening. Like 5/6 p.m. I dunno.

I just sent another resume out. The place isn’t actually hiring but they are a friend of an uncle SO you never know I guess.

Congrats to your man MT. Thats insane.

And CLO – I’ve had a scan done before. You kind of just lay there. The only thing that would be yucky would be the iodine shot and thats really nothing, especially compared to what you’ve gone through. You’ll be fine. Think of it as like this HUGE exray of everything. You just have to lay really still so the picture comes out ok. You won’t even feel anything. They had to scan me when I broke my back. I almost fell asleep during it.

27 10 2008
lara21167

Oh while I’m thinking about it, my niece I think I mentioned she is my brother’s spawn, anyhoo my brother is an addictions counselor, so he’s beside himself with her. Now he is the one who got her into this long term rehab she’s in. He lives with a woman, also an addictions counselor, who has 2 girls that call my brother “Dad”. I understand that my brother, Jim, is upset with his daughter, but she needs his support which he does give so long as the girlfriend is not around. The girlfriend Amy, for whatever reason won’t talk to my niece, won’t even look at her. Now my niece can be a big pain in the ass, I understand that but I don’t understand Amy not making any effort and also coming between her and her father (the girl’s mother is a crack head who threw her out at 17) So my question is should I butt my nose in this and try to talk to Amy about it? My brother is totally P-whipped (he’s always been like that with his girlfriends- Think it has something to do with losing our mother at a young age.) I get along with Amy although I sense a resentment from her toward me. Just some feeling I get. But I really think my niece is really tring this time and I think Amy, especially in the field she is in needs to be a bit more compasionate. So what do you ladies think?

27 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

OH yea, and witchy – Im going to be walking Lincoln road with a friend of mine and possibly a group of his friends (mutual friends i guess of mine). They are going as the Olympic Swim Team and I can tell you most of them are WAY more delicious then the guys on the actual team.

I’ll be going as a fairy I guess. I have to go get some hot pink opaque tights. The bottom of the skirt is COMPLETELY see through and VERY short so I gotta cover up a bit. Plus its supposed to be kind of cool that night. In the sixties. Tonight is “Cold” for us. Low 50s. And boo as been very supportive of what is going on. He says to just relax. Since he got back we havent had as much tension as normal which is nice. Its been really laid back and when we talk we’re regaling a story from his trip or i’m worrying out loud about my future and instead of getting short with me and annoyed at my pessimism hes been REALLY supportive and trying to get me to just relax and think along the lines of if they didn’t want me I would probably know by now so ALL isn’t lost.

Witchy – he called me on his way back from the trip and then again from the road and then AGAIN when he got home… 1:30 your time… i.e. 4:30 my time, but I could care less… I just get so happy when I see it’s him calling. We’ve already spoken three times today. WHICH we need to slow it down with. This is what got us into the mess in the first place. Not giving each other breathing room. We spoke this morning and then I called him to ask for advice and we wound up chatting a bit around lunch and then again online for a minute. He’ll call later I’m sure. I’ll leave him be. If he wants to call graet if he doesn’t i’ll talk to him tomorrow. Right now I am more concerned with my job status than my relationship status. He and I will figure things out I think. THE JOB… I dunno. Im kinda… ok totally… freaked.

I’ll be sleeping with the windows cracked. Not open. Its already a risk for me to sleep with them open since Im a first floor walk-up. BUT you can’t see my window from the street so they would have to be LOOKING for open windows. In these tough economic times i’d rather risk a nighttime intruder than waste money on the A/C. Hey… its risky but i gotta save where i can right?

27 10 2008
lara21167

Rowdy, I’d tell you to calm down and not freak, but I know that’s not going to help. Just hopefully they’ll be in touch soon. They have to know you need to start making plans…

27 10 2008
Janelyse829

Rowdy, i think you’re going to get the job. i mean they would have let you know by now if they didnt want you. they are probably just busy. you sound like youre really good at what you do. and i know freaking out looks like the best option but try to relax.

27 10 2008
Janelyse829

BTW, im being fored to quit smoking.

27 10 2008
Janelyse829

Lara-to answer your question from last post and this one, no its not the cousin i said i was never speaking to again, its her younger sister. she is a month younger than me. i am still not talking to her, she doesnt deserve me too. i guess i didnt tell you guys that Michelle is her best friend? talk about family loyalties.

anyway. I think that you should def talk to your brothers gf. i personally believe that no person-no matter the motives/reasons/circumstances-has a right to come between parents and their children. and if they do someone has to do something about it. its just something you dont do. and if she is in the same field as your brother she should def understand that what your niece needs now more than anything is someone to talk to and understand her and someone to help her. especially now that she is about to give birth. addiction is hard and it takes more than a willing addict to overcome it. they-both your brother and his gf-need to be supporting her and help her take all this one step at a time. so i would say yes, talk to her. and ask her why she feels the way she does about your niece. maybe she went through a personal experience very similar to your niece’s and hasnt been able to get over it.

27 10 2008
lara21167

Janey it’s funny because the way my niece talks is all she did was tell Amy that one of Amy’s daughters took a soda in the living room (which is against her rules) and when my niece was living with them and was taking prescribed methodome, she took a dose in front of one of the daughters and Amy went off. It was liquid medicine that she drank and prescribed by her doctor. so I do want to hear Amy’s side of all this.

28 10 2008
Clo

Rowdy- See, I’m confused, cause I always thought you were supposed to call and kinda “hound” them, to show that you’re really interesting in the job or whatever, so I don’t think you screwed things up. I think by what they told you, it sounds like you got it, maybe they’re just going through a busy time. I’m glad you and your boo are better, but you’re right, you should probably slow it down so you don’t fall into the same trap again.

MT- Yay for your boo! I wanna hear what happened too!

Lara- I’d be careful about talking too her. For one, my Uncle is an addictions counselor too, and he comes off as a little cold as well, but… Sometimes you have too. Sometimes the only way to help an addict is to let them hit rock bottom, and get themselves out. I’ve learned from the many addicts in my family that the only time any of them have gotten sober and stayed sober was when THEY decided to do it themselves… They’ve been forced into rehab, talked into rehab, bribed into rehab, and the only time it worked when they themselves decided to go. Now, that’s not saying your niece won’t make it, she may want to be there, and she may want to change, but I’m sure working day in and day out with people who claim they want to change and then don’t can make you a little jaded… I’m not saying her actions are right, that just may be where she’s coming from. If you talk to her, I’d tread lightly. Just because you may tick her off, and if your bro is pussy whipped, he’ll most likely side with her, and it just could start world war 3 for your family is all.

Rowdy- I didn’t have to get anything shot into me. But I also didn’t finish the testing, I had to hit my panic button. I made it like 90% through, but then I just freaked out, I started crying, shaking, hyperventelating. I’m not claustrophobic, but… It was just hard to be in their for so long and not being able to move. They had me in there for like an hour, and then they needed me to take regular deep breaths and I started getting light headed, and then I couldn’t regulate my breathing… It wasn’t fun. Good news is, they said that they got the majority of it done, so they didn’t make me go back in. Right now I have a wicked bad headache though so I’m headed up to bed.

28 10 2008
lara21167

Cloey like I said the cat scans I had I was only in for a few minutes. I don’t think I’d make it an hour!! I’ll tread lightly with my brother’s g/f. I don’t really care if she likes me or not. My Bro hates my hubby and vice versa. But I’ve always gotten along good with his girl friends. My niece’s mother (before she got into drugs) we were like sisters. And the one before this one I got along with real well. Although she didn’t like my poor niece either 😦

28 10 2008
mt

Rowdy, i don’t think it was out of line to call them. they said they’d be in touch with you LAST WEEK. that’s not professional, and I’d find it somewhat offensive. and i’m so happy that things seem to be on the right track with your boo.

Lara, i’d ask your brother his opinion on the amy issue, and take it from there. i think it might just be the threat of another woman in his life (you OR you niece) that makes amy jealous….

Ladies- lol. i’m flattered that the one sentence y’all picked up on was the one about my honey. ok. storytime:

so, in a nutshell, this is what my boyfriend does: he gets on a boat and goes “alongside” (beside, moving at a pace of about 5 mph) a big cargo ship. he stands on the deck of the boat. the ship has a long rope ladder that reaches the deck of his boat, and a pilot (or extremely well-paid ship captain) gets OFF the ship, via the rope ladder, and drew is there to help him. well, yesterday was really windy, and to make a long story short, the rope ladder on this ship was near the back of the boat, and everytime they would try to get alongside, drew’s boat would shoot forward (air and water pressure)…so anyway, this pilot is hanging on the rope ladder, dangling above the water, and they tried to go alongside, the captain took a huge blind-step backwards, but his hand got caught in the rope. so he gets his hand free, and he’s standing on the edge of Drew’s boat, but the air pressure is moving the boat, and this pilot’s momentum is moving him forward, towards the water. (think teetering on the edge, hands flailing…). well, the pilot is calling drew to grab him, because if he goes in the water he’ll get sucked into the propellor and be killed. in hindsight, he said he shouln’t have told drew to grab him, because that could’ve gotten both of them killed. anywho…drew had one hand on this guys backpack, so he jerked backwards with that hand, then used his other arm to wrap around his chest, and spun the guy around and threw him against the cabin of the boat. so they were both slammed into a steel wall, but they were safely on deck…he can’t really remember how the physics worked, since the guy outweighs him by about 60 lbs, and he was already a bout to fall in…but he said he was shaking for a good hour. as much as his job on the water scares me, it’s things like that that make me know he belongs out there….

28 10 2008
Witchypoo

Hi, Lara…how’s it going? So, this Amy doesn’t sound like a very welcoming, warm person. When you say that she seems to resent you…maybe she resents your relationship with your niece, since the girl isn’t her favorite person. Have you made it clear that you support your niece? Or, are you and your brother markedly close? Maybe she feels threatened by that relationship; some people don’t like their partner to have a strong connection to anyone but themselves. I always wonder about controlling/possessive people…what motivates them, other than a need to be in charge, or at the center of everything. So she has two daughters, hugh?…it reminds me of a strange version of ‘Cinderella’ or something: the “wicked” stepmother who has two daughters she values, yet treats her husband’s daughter distantly. Of course, I have no idea how much responsibility your niece has in all this…did she DO anything specifically to the girlfriend, or the household, (like stealing, to support her habit)? Cloey mentioned how her brother is an addictions counselor, and that he seems cold sometimes. That line of work would probably have a tendency to jade you; I don’t think I’d want to do it, (too dismal). Assuming your niece is basically a decent person, (minus the drug habit…which taints everything), she definitely needs someone in your corner. Lucky for her she has Auntie Lara, (Laura). If it were me, I’d probably try to get through to my brother, before appealing to the girlfriend.

28 10 2008
Witchypoo

Oh, yeah, forgot…take care.

28 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

That is an insane story MT. I would be FREAKED out. Especially since I already have a fear of the water. Well bodies of water. I don’t like not seeing my feet and Im afraid of sea creatures… and yes the idea of getting sucked into the rutter of a major ship is unsettling. Your dude is a hero. I’m sure adrenaline has something to do with his saving move.

They still haven’t responded to me. I don’t know if I should email them today or wait till tomorrow. Here is the email I am debating on sending:

Jen,

I hope all is well. I know you must be extremely busy, however I am writing now to inquire about my status with Lucky Strike. Should I have the extraordinary opportunity of joining the team I would need to begin to make proper arrangements, especially for a December/January start time frame.

I did also want to send you my current employers contact information. On the basis that you and Lucky Strike are serious about my employment, you are more than welcome to contact him for a recommendation. I ask that you only contact him if you are serious about hiring me as I do not want to jeopardize my current work situation. I can say with conviction that he will be more than happy to give me an outstanding recommendation. I know he would be more than happy to help me further my career goals. Should you decide to contact him you can reach him by [censored for privacy].

I hope to hear back from you soon.

Best Regards,
Michelle

What do we think?

28 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

Oh yea… and Lara – No soda in the living room? Sounds uptight to me!

28 10 2008
Witchypoo

supposed to say, “in HER corner”…

28 10 2008
lara21167

Rowdy (Michelle) I think that sounds excellant. It’s getting your point across without sounding desperate. Very good. Now should you send today? I think I would. I know what Cloey is saying that you should look interested. But I also know where you are coming from you don’t want to look desperate. So you need a middle ground Very interested but not desperate!! I think you’re right looking for a job is looking more and more like dating haha

Ok the niece. Amy got along great with Ash at first. THen Ash moved in with them now Amy won’t talk to Ash. My brother will blame Ash and it is probably alot her fault (has to be more than the soda can and the medicine) My brother and I are fairly close. we don’t see each other much though or talk much. I call him at work when I want to talk to him I usually won;t call him at home. And you know what’s really funny both my kids think AMy’s kids are snobby and they won’t talk to them. Now Kristy is shy sometimes so I’ve tried to push her to talk to the girls no luck, one is like a year older than kristy. THey haven’t made any effort to talk to her but I just took it that they are shy to. Nothing worse than tring to get shy kids to make the first move lol. So at family gatherings my kids avoid her kids. Maybe that’s part of Amy’s problem. I don;t know.

Yes Witchy Addictions Counselors are cold they have to be.

28 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

I actually got a response but I don’t know how GREAT it is.

“Hi Michele,

I just got back in the office from NYC so please be patient with us! I will wade through my emails and make some time to call you later today.”

How bad do we think that is

28 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Rowdy:
That email doesn’t sound bad at all just give her till Monday to make her way through them all. It would say something if she didn’t respond to you at all.

Lara:
Hmmm I think you need to go to your brother and sit and have a chat with him. It seems like this Amy woman can’t handle the step mother role. Yes it is true that people with drug problems need to hit rock bottom but they also need toknow that they are loved and even though it is a tough love they know that when they reach rock bottom someone will be there. If you don’t get the response out of your brother that you like go right to the source of the proble Amy.

My partner actually had this problem but it was with his 2 year old daughter and his girlfriend. She couldn’t show any emotions to the child no hugs or kisses didn’t even play with her. She made excuses not to be around on the baby’s birthday and make promises to take them out and then she made sure she got called into work. Lets just say I don’t like her and probably never will. Now when my partner tries to hug the GF Nevaeh pushes them apart and says NO…. I just wonder how Nevaeh will take to their new baby Amya.

work has been crazy!!! I don’t know what the inmates have gotten into but they want to cause trouble! We all sense another riot about to happen soon…
oh well lock down for another 6 months will be good

28 10 2008
Clo

Witchy- It’s my Uncle who’s an addictions counselor, my brother is just addicted, lol.

Lara- I mean if you don’t care about ticking your bro off, then I’d go ahead and talk to her. I mean, that’s what I usually do, lol. When I don’t like something I just tell people and I don’t really care if they get mad or not (well, most people, there are some, or if I feel like it’s not my place….) I just know my family is kinda broken right now, cause… Well, alcoholism runs in my family, my Mom’s an alcoholic, my Uncle (the addictions counselor) is an alcoholic… My mom and Uncle are both recovering alcoholics (meaning they’re sober.) but once you’re an alcoholic, you’re always an alcoholic… Anyway, my Aunt is an alcoholic, but she’s still drinking, and my Aunt was living with my Mom, but they had this agreement that if either one of them started drinking, they’d be kicked out (so they wouldn’t jepordize the other’s sobriety) anyway, my Mom caught my Aunt once, and let her slide, and told her not to do it again, and then caught my Aunt again and told her to get out, which pissed off my Aunt and she said she didn’t have to leave… Blah blah blah, my Uncle gets into it, and then my Aunt was saying they were both acting like they were better than her cause they quit and she didn’t, and then the family took sides (my mom is one of 8, and they’re all married, except one of my Aunt’s who’s a nun, but then she has lots of nun friends who are kinda a part of our family, so they jumped in too, so it’s a big argument) Some are saying my Mom and Uncle are being too rough, some are saying they’re tired of my Aunt’s shit and agree with my Mom and Uncle… So yeah, that’s why I was saying tread lightly. But, if you’re like me, I was like whatever and spoke my two cents, which was, my Mom was right in kicking my Aunt out, however, both my Mom and My Uncle said things to my Aunt that didn’t need to be said (My Uncle called my Aunt a whore??? And she’s totally not, so I have no idea where that came from. And my Mom said some things about My Aunt’s parenting, which I agreed with, however, she said it in front of my cousin, which I thought didn’t need to be done.) So yeah, fun in the family. And I agree, there prolly is more to it than the soda and the medicine, if there isn’t than she’s being dumb. And the MRI was horrible. I think I would have been OK if it hadn’t of taken SO long. And the MRI makes HORRIBLE noises. You think with all the advances in technology they could make the noises sound more pleasant. One of them sounded like a machine gun going off. And they let you listen to music in there, but when the machine starts going off you can’t hear anything but the machine. Totally sucked, totally don’t want to ever have to do it again.

And I dunno how I missed the bird convo. I HATE birds. We have all these geese around here, and geese are evil. One time we went to go feed the ducks down by the river and got swarmed with geese. And geese have balls too, they’re totally not afraid of you. And MT, I agree, after I saw the movie the birds, I thought it was totally possible for them to plot to take over. They’re dirty, mean, and evil.

MT- That’s a great story. I’m terrified of water. Well, no, actually, I love being on a boat, or in a pool, but when it comes to like swimming in the ocean, I hate it. Waves freak me out majorly. I think drowning would be one of the worst ways to die.

28 10 2008
Clo

Oh and Rowdy, I think that’s good, and I think you should send it. I mean, if I were hiring people, especially someone who was moving to take the job, I’d try to take into consideration that they’d need time to plan accordingly.

28 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!1

28 10 2008
Gabberjazz

Rowdy
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28 10 2008
Clo

Yaaaaaaaaaaay Rowdy!

28 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

YYAYYYY

28 10 2008
lara21167

Yaaaaaayyyy!! I was still contemplating that email you got and reading Clo’s comment CONRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!

28 10 2008
lara21167

Clo I’d have to do something pretty nasty for anyone in my family to get really mad at me. I am the baby and am still treated as the baby!! Fo example the rehab my niece is in is like halfway between where I live and where my sister lives. I need spark plugs in my car (Don’t have the money right now) So my sister, bless her heart, drove up here and got me then drove to the rehab then took me back home then went home herself. she wouldn’t have done that for my other sister.

And MT Congrats to your Boo. That’s pretty scary.

28 10 2008
Janelyse829

Rowdy CONGATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28 10 2008
Gabberjazz

WOW Rowdy
You must be feeling great today!!!! Boo and youa re back on track, one door closed withthe job and another opened with the job you wanted…. I’d be gleaming right about now. Doesn’t life seem great!!!!!! Congrats again I am really happy for you…..

28 10 2008
lara21167

Hey Janey how’s the “quitting” going??

28 10 2008
Janelyse829

Mt- thats super crazy. you must be so pround of him. i think i’d kill Ezi if he said that he was taking job on a boat! on second thought, i think i’ll kill him anyway =]

its raining and snowing. i hate new york. i hate the cold.

28 10 2008
lara21167

haha Janey I think you answered my question without answering 🙂
“Qutting” must be going good.

28 10 2008
Janelyse829

Lara- i think we were posting at the same time =]
quitting is going-not great but its going lol. you were totally right about me wanting to kill him. i was tempeted into buying some today and he was like “see i told you you couldnt do it” so i walked away because i was ready to hit him!!!! but i was mad because he was right. but i didnt but them. i think i could do this…i think…

28 10 2008
lara21167

You can do it Janey but if he keeps saying that to you (and I know he’s just tring to get you determined) but he is going to get hit!! Have a great night everyone.

28 10 2008
Janelyse829

Lara-yea, he just did!!! now he’s mad at me. i told him he shouldnt tease me =]
so anyway, i started to write this poem but im not sure where im going or want to go with it. so now in stuck and i WANT to finish it because it started out really good. it doesnt have a name yet. i usually name them when im done writing. so here it is [part of it anyway]

The way you hold me when you know something’s wrong
But you don’t ask, instead, you confort me
Tell me that it’s going to be alright
Your smile melts away all my fears
When my days and nights are bleak
Your eyes light the way
This unexplicable feeling I get when I’m with you
They way you know my every hope, every desire
You know me better than I would ever hope to know myself

and thats all i got. i think im hoing to wait til tomorrow before i look at again or else im going to frustrate myself by thinkin about it too much lol

28 10 2008
Janelyse829

thats supposed to say ‘i’m going to’

28 10 2008
Witchypoo

DAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! You get busy(ier) for a few hours, and look at all the news. Goldie, you first: I have to admit, when I read your email from Jen, saying she’d call you later today, (without saying anything encouraging)…it did cross my mind that the phrasing she used seemed weird. I kind of thought she was going to give you some half-answer about waiting and seeing…more time to make a decision, etc. I was very pleasantly surprised to read your happy confirmation of the new job. So, CONGRATULATIONS! Girl, you seem to go in extremes…just a few days ago, you were all down about your guy and the relationship…and in limbo about this job. Now, it’s all good! I’m so happy for you, Sunshine. Now, you can go out and really have a little fun on Halloween…with a light heart. So cool. (Btw…Michelle is a pretty name; my cousin is named Michelle).

So, Lara…I can’t help but feel for the underdog in most, (not all), situations. Your niece certainly fits the bill: young, pregnant, saddled with a nasty addiction problem, father turning his back on her in part because of influence from a wintery “step-girlfriend/wannabe wife”…etc. Maybe I’m not being fair about the girlfriend…Amy is it? As a parent, though, I just can’t seem to imagine myself cutting any of my children out of my life – especially if they were in need of my help. I know how frustrating and heartbreaking severe addiction is for the loved ones of the addict/alcoholic; I’ve been there…more than once. My family is well stocked with both, (especially alcoholics). Still though…I hope this Amy has a well-intentioned “game-plan” – like the tough love concept, or something. I’d hate to think that an adult woman who counsels others and has children of her own would be downright petty and cruel, especially considering that there’s an innocent baby involved here. That child is going to need loving and supportive family members to ease the way for him/her. That whole situation sounds kind of heartbreaking, Lara. I’m glad that you’re making it your business to intervene on your niece’s and her baby’s behalves. Everyone should have a guardian angel, you know? Also, it’s amazing how intuitive some kids are about the personalities of other kids. If your children both think Amy’s kids are “snobby”, chances are likely that they’ve picked up on some vibes. Do your kids feel that way about other people, regularly? If not, that kind of says something itself. Maybe Amy’s kids are mirroring their mother’s example?

Cloey…I meant to say your uncle, rather than your brother, when I was referring to the addictions counselor in your family. I had brothers on my mind because of Lara’s situation with her brother, and I was in a hurry when I typed out that comment this am. Yeah, I guess every family has its’ share of drama/he said-she said crap. My extended family has lots of it, and it seems like most of them enjoy the back-stabbing/gossip. My cousin used to call me every so often to tell me things about my mom; she seemed to enjoy the fact that we don’t have any contact. I used to get the impression that she was somewhat envious of my relationship with my mother, before the falling out. You’d have to know my cousin, Michelle, to understand what I mean about her enjoying situations like I’m describing. On second thought, it’s probably not all that uncommon, (petty bullshit, I mean).

Janey…good for you, Sweetie, (about the non-smoking). You’re so young…it won’t be as hard to change your habits as someone who’s been smoking for decades. Hang in there – stay determined and focused.

MT…really cool about your fiance’s heroic actions; imagine how the family of the guy he saved feels about what he did? Words can’t describe how grateful they must be. Take your guy out to a really nice dinner – make a big deal out of it; it’s called for.

Well, Ladies…take care.

28 10 2008
mt

yea…it is a pretty big deal, but work on the water has those hazards. it’s really cool, and i AM very proud of him. he has a such stressful job sometimes, and now we’re dealing with MIA cable guys. they were suppossed to be here on the 10th, and now they didn’t show up again today. eff them.

and YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY ROWDY! i’m so happy for you. so what does this mean? you leave florida and go to CA? is that where the job is? and the boo?

29 10 2008
Janelyse829

MT- i hate cable guys. the ones from here tel you that they’ll be at your house anywhere between 9AM-1PM and they show up an hour earlier than that or two hours later than that.

29 10 2008
Clo

MT- Here if the cable guys are late they have to credit your account. And I think that’s the way it should be, I mean it’s bad enough that they give you a broad time frame of being here, but then to not show up? Or show up late? If you work that’s time off you have to take, and if you don’t work, who knows? Maybe you’d normally be spending that time running errands or whatever, it’s just rude.

These last two days were horrible and I thought I as going to end back up in the ER last night. It was my own stupid fault for not listening to the doctor, cause apparently when he told me no fat, he really meant it. I ate pizza on Sunday… I just limited myself to two small pieces, and I didn’t have a gall bladder attack that night, but then the next night (and this is NOT my fault) my husband made bratwurst and told me they’d be fine to eat… When really they’re pretty high in fat, and I thought I was going to die. Then the next day I had another attack, and we were ready to head to the hospital when it quit. It blows, I’m so ready for them to take this out. I mean, low fat/no fat isn’t SO bad, and it’s not like I don’t need to do it, but it sucks when on days like Sunday, when I’m at a friends and everyone’s eating pizza and they’re like “well, we can make you a salad” I don’t want a salad when everyone is eating yummy greasy bad for you pizza. It makes me sad. And that’s my rant for today.

Cayden has his one month check up today 🙂 My Mom and sister and making bets on how much he weighs, cause he’s a beefy little boy.

29 10 2008
lara21167

Witchy, No my kids don’t say that often. In fact they both make friends very easily. Now it is funny that my bros ex g/f didn’t like my poor niece either. My niece was talking about BJ’s to her precious boys, about the same age as her. I did talk somewhat to her once because I got along with her well. I pointed out the situation with her mother and I thought she made somewhat of an effort. At least she didn’t totally ignore her. Now lets see what I’ve done for this girl. I took her on vacation with me, I let her live with us briefly (She called me crying, her mother was throwing her out) but she has a problem following rules and drove my husband crazy she was 17 and wanted to go out at like 11:00 at night!! and on the phone or the computer consistantly. Slept half the day) as I said drove my husband nuts she eventually went to her grandparents. Then I got her a job at my work as an administrative assistant, she didn’t finish high school and no GED so this was a really good opportunity. Oh and I had to pick her up and take her home from work (way out of my way) And what did she do, on the phone, personal calls, coming into my office talking constantly, even would get on my computer at lunch (I’m the Bookkeeper and have confidential info on my computer) And she made fun of the boss behind her back!! She was fired, I got a raise 🙂 So she’s not innocent (oh her career of choice is stripper) Can’t do that now though haha. So she has alot of work on herself to do.

Janey I like the poem. Can’t help you with it though lol
and to warn you today will probably be harder than yesterday on quitting. By tomorrow though it’ll start getting better. so just tell yourself to get through today..

29 10 2008
lara21167

Clo, when do you get the results from your test back. Do you think they are just going to remove the galbladder? I though mine was going bad a few years ago (it was that bleeding ulcer I didn’t know I had) even with that I can eat mostly anything. Pizza gives me trouble sometimes though.. and bratwurst now that you mention it causes me heart burn and indigestion. It is good though

29 10 2008
Clo

The sign at the radiology place said they’d send the results to my doctor within 72 hours. Normally because they’re all housed at the same place (my surgeon has his office at the hospital, which I got my MRI at in the radiology department… My gyno/OB’s office is there too, and it’s where Cayden was born.) I’d think he’d get them faster, only when I had an ultrasound to determine the size of Cayden to see if they would induce early, I got an ultrasound in the hospital too, and even though my obgyn is located there it still took her awhile to get the results… I love that hospital cause (most) of the people who work there are UBER nice, but I get the feeling they’re not so great with paperwork… So I’m thinking if I don’t hear anything by Friday I’ll call the doctor and check…. However, I have a feeling they’ll call me as soon as they know, cause the surgeon’s nurses seem pretty up on it. My husband called yesterday about my pain, and actually got to talk to my nurse, not a recording, which shocked the hell outta him. Then the nurse asked that I call back so I could tell her what I ate, and what the pain was like, only I was in too much pain to talk, and then when it stopped the office was closed and I didn’t see a point in calling anyway when I wasn’t in pain… Anyway, she called me back today to check up, and that was just so nice to me. Soooo yeah…

It’s funny though, cause I’ve been having this pain for awhile… I just thought it was heartburn. So I mean, I used to be able to eat whatever I want, and it was a crap shoot on whether or not I got pain. Now it’s like, I even look at something I’m not supposed to eat and I start to hurt. Normally I’d say it was all in my head, but I don’t think so. It just sucks cause it looks like Thanksgiving is going to be limited for me 😦

As far as your niece… She reminds me of my brother… When people help him he doesn’t appreciate it, and when people don’t it’s all like “why does nobody ever want to help me?” And it’s always about why his life sucks the worst. For example, yesterday my cousin totaled his car, and someone elses car. Nobody was hurt, but my cousin is screwed, cause the accident was his fault, he doesn’t have insurance, and now he has no car and no way to get to work (and even if he DID have a car, he’s not allowed to drive.) Anyway, my brother was telling me about it (cause my cousin and him are really good friends.) and then I told him that a job that my husband and my brother had planned was canceled. Chris goes “Man that sucks, why does shit like this always happen to me?”

….And I’m just like, Oooook. Bobby (our cousin) just got into a horrible wreck, which thankfully nobody was hurt, but he’s going to probably get sued, lose his license, in turn lose his job… And you’re complaining cause you’re too lazy to look for a regular job and this one got canceled? It was crazy.

I don’t really feel too horrible for my cousin… I mean yeah it sucks, but he’s been caught without insurance before (and that wasn’t his fault, he was under his step-dads insurance, even after his mom separated from them, they were still on good terms, however his step-dad then canceled his insurance and forgot to tell Bobby to get new insurance…) so he knew the consequences and still chose to drive without…

Anyway, have you decided whether or not to talk to your bro’s girl?

29 10 2008
Clo

Oh yeah, Cayden’s doctors visit… Pretty uneventful. I really like his ped. she’s so crazy and she’s all over the place and just talks a mile a minute, but super funny and super nice, and really takes the time to explain everything…

Not a fan of the office staff though… Today we went to check out and the lady was just kinda rude, and there were a bunch of them standing around having personal conversations and cussing… I just didn’t think it was OK for a peds. office.

Anyway, Cayden’s a heffer, lol. 11 lbs 6 oz. So, he’s a big boy. He doesn’t look fat to me though, he’s pretty long and just… heavy, lol. His belly buttons herniated, which we thought it might be, but she said it happens a lot in babies and usually clears up by itself. So she said as long as it’s gone by the age of 2, we’re good, unless it gets really hard and purple, then we have a problem.

29 10 2008
lara21167

Glad the Doc visit went well. Means alot to have a ped that really takes the time with you and explains things. For that I’d overlook the rude staff (although you may mention the cussing to the doctor she may be unaware) It’s silly because I cuss some, my hubby cusses a lot in front of my daughter. But if we are out somewhere and someone starts rattleing off the eff word loudly within earshot of my daughter I just want to scream. I guess it’s just the rudeness about it.

Yes your bro sounds like my niece. A lot of things that have happened to her was brought on by poor judgement. And she expects help from people instead of being appreciative, but when my sister and I were visiting she really seemed to appreciate the baby things we brought and the cigs we brought her. Can’t quit everything at once lol. But that was an improvment. She is 24 years old and needs to learn to stand on her own 2 feet and not expect everyone else to take care of her. yes I’ll talk to the bros G/F when i get a chance.

29 10 2008
Clo

I wouldn’t stop using our ped cause of the staff… But, I mean I’m the same way. Yes I cuss, and I do it in front of Cayden (not like he knows what I’m saying) but I will probably continue to do so even when he can talk… But it’s more like they don’t know how I plan to raise my child you know? So I think in situations like that, people just need to be extra careful.

I think you said it perfectly when you said your niece had lots of stuff happen to her because of her poor judgment… That’s my brother exactly. And then he wants to complain about it. It’s like, take a long hard look at your choices, if you set yourself up to fail, guess what? You’re going to fail.

I wish you lived closer, cause I’d pass on our old baby clothes to her to use.

29 10 2008
mt

an 11lb 1 month old? he IS a healthy boy. and by little bro had a herneated belly button (where it stuck out, but there was a hole the size of your pinky where the umbilical cord used to be, covered with skin of course…). it never quite healed up, though…it is an outtie now. and, what is the pain behind a gall bladder..um…removal? my dad was in the ER all day y-day and apparantly he has to get his removed next week. but he hadn’t complained about any pain or anything, so i don’t know….oh, and the cussing at a children’s doctor? i’d be talking to the owner/operating doctor about it. COMPLETELY inappropriate.

oh. and the cable guy never showed up. again. 18 days after the orginal appointment. and the people at directv have been no help. promising to cal and never calling back, being clueless in general. apparantly they contract installation out to these shady guys that are completely unreliable, and after they give these sahdy guys the contract…it’s out of directv’s hands as far as if they show up or not. so now we have to call customer retention(the key department to getting what you want) to see WTF is wrong with these people.

ugh.

29 10 2008
lara21167

That would be great. A girl I work with gave me abunch of clothes sleepers and stuff. SHe is getting cash assistance and food stamps. She can’t use the food stamps right now so they will accumulate. She be there until Feb so she;ll have plenty of food anyway. Plus W.I.C.K Sometimes I think it pays not to work lol

29 10 2008
Clo

I’m not sure about the pain behind a gall bladder removal. I think it also depends on what kind of surgery you get… I think they mainly like to do laproscopy (sp) which is where they cut a hole in your belly button, stick in a camera, and then from the inside they can see exactly where they need to cut, and can make smaller cuts where your gall bladder is and then yank it out. It’s three cuts (two up by your gall bladder so they can stick in the tools to get it out, and to clamp off the ducts that send bile to your stomach) They make more cuts this way, but they’re smaller, they heal faster, and it’s an outpatient procedure. However, sometimes it’s safer to do it the old way, where they cut you up where your gallbladder is… It’s a bigger cut and requires a longer hospital stay… My friend had the laproscopy one done, and she said it wasn’t too bad… She said her belly button one hurt the most just cause where it was located, you tend to move that part of your body more, and then she said the one they made under her breast hurt… But that’s cause she would sweat (ew, I know) but since it’s your dad I don;t think he’ll have to worry about breasts…

I know I used to think my gall bladder attacks were heartburn, just where the pain was everyone was like “Oh yeah, that’s heartburn” and (usually) all I would have to do was throw up, and it’d go away… But then I had a really bad attack on Mother’s day and my Husband was like “I think that might be your gall bladder” and turns out, it is.

Lara- We’re about to get on WIC. I didn’t think we would qualify, but we do, so with things being as rough as they are, we’re going to take it. We don’t need the insurance help, but formula is SO expensive. Right now we’re super lucky cause my mom works with a lady who’s husband works at the place that makes some similac and they’ve given us some, but who knows how long that’ll last.

The surgeon called, they got my test results (which was faster than I thought) and I have a couple of gall stones stuck in my duct, soooo. They have to send me to some doctor with a really long name that I’m not even going to attempt to spell, but they’ve got to suck it out. I thought they could do that during my surgery, but apparently not, so the nurse who called said once they suck it out they can schedule my surgery.

29 10 2008
lara21167

More crap to be done well hopefully it’ll all be over soon and you’ll start to feel better. WIC is one thing that has a high income limit. I had it with my daughter for a while. The formula help is great, it is soooo expensive. Did you completely stop breast feeding (or pumping rather)

29 10 2008
lara21167

FYI- Bedroom blog posted and it’s a funny one.

29 10 2008
Janelyse829

Lara-its been okay. i mean im VERY moody. Ezi is afraid to say the wrong thing cause im just like SHUT UP!!!!!! lol but other than that its okay.

its cold here. iTS SNOWiNG! since when does it snow in october???? its so gray and nasty outside….

Clo-are you happy that they are taking it out? i’d hate not be able to eat what i want. Cayden soudns like he’s cute little chunky monkey lol how much did he measure?

29 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

hey guys. its been a long day. and not in a good way. ive been getting sick all day. no good.

jane – good luck w/ quitting. im a smoker, so i understand how hard it can be… the guy and i were supposed to help each other quit when i move there but…

i dont know how much longer things are going to be working out for us. i dont think he wants to be in a relationship with me. he says im pushing him away, i tell him i feel like hes pushing me away. it sucks. we’re in a bad place. and im not really sure if we are going to figure things out right now. im really down about it. i am supposed to fly out there to look for an apartment… i was thinking about going right after work ended… i emailed him times and potential dates… he said he wasn’t in the mindframe to think that far ahead. first he was upset becuase i felt like i had to ask if i could stay with him and now i dont even know if he wants to see me.

clo – ive had a few laperscoptomies (sp). They aren’t horrible. Its surgery but after my first one my recovery time was only a few days. (the first one took me a good week or two before I could move around without pain). But you just hang out I guess. Im sure its tougher with the baby and all but you’ve already been through so much, this is like a walk in the park. i know what you mean about loving the hospital. i love where i stay when i have to go for surgery (i get cysts on my fallopian tubes). The nurses are so nice… it makes it much easier. I dont even mind staying overnight at the hospital.

i dunno how much im gonna be on for a few days. trying to get everything together and im just really depressed about losing a really important person. i guess just fyi. i’ll be on when i can. right now.. i just kind of want to sink into my little hole and hide for a bit.

29 10 2008
Clo

Lara- My husband’s very excited that we qualify for wic, I think he was wondering how we were going to do it. I’m used to money issues and doing without… We always had periods of tons of money, and then no money (mom went credit card crazy… She filed for bankruptcy twice…) so doing without is no big deal to me, but hubby was kinda spoiled, and he thinks “hard times” in his childhood was when they didn’t take a vacation… Don’t get me wrong, we’re def. struggling and need the help, but… With the economy the way it is, who isn’t struggling? And then I just thought most people with a new baby tended to struggle as well, so I’m just kinda like whatever.

Jane- I wish I didn’t need it out (cause who is ever like, YaY surgery! Especially after just having a major surgery and a baby?) but since the only method of treatment is to take it out, then I want it out. I also wish they could do everything at once, like the suction thing and the surgery. My husband claims the suction thing won’t hurt, but getting a tube stuck down my throat doesn’t sound like much fun to me. But whatever. And it is hard not to be able to eat what I want. It’s hard to change the way you think, this morning I turned to my sister and was like “Oh yay, on the way home we can stop at Krispy Kreme!” and then I thought about it and I was like, Oh yeah, can’t eat doughnuts… It’s especially hard to see people eating things and I want them and I can’t… So unfair, lol.

Rowdy- Everyone says that the lapro-whatever isn’t so bad. My main complaint is they’re saying they aren’t sure if they can do it that way or not, so I’m kinda bummed about that. But I don’t really mind staying in the hospital. I like the hospital we go too… Well, one floor I liked, the other they sent me too I have serious complaints about, but whatever. I mean I don’t really want to be away from Cayden, but most likely with either surgeries, I’m going to have restrictions and not be able to lift him and stuff so… We’ll see.

I hope you and your boo will be OK. Sometimes couples just have rough patches, I know Jeremy and I did before we got married, I wondered if we’d make it… I personally think the idea of you moving out there is just freaking him out a little. I think once you’re out there and settled, things will be OK.

I’m ready for this election to be oveeeeeer. So SICK of the ads, and the news coverage… They’re doing early voting here and talking about the record turn outs… People are saying they’re going early to avoid the crowds at the polls, however there are SO many people early voting that I wonder how many people are going to be left to vote on election day.

Oh, and has anyone else ever made a rice sock? They gave me one in the hospital, and while I don’t love the smell, it’s working wonders for my headaches.

29 10 2008
Janelyse829

Clo- a rice sock? i dont believe i’ve ever herd of it. what is it?

29 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

Clo – I wish it were as simple as him being freaked out. I think its more than that. We’ve been fighting a lot lately. Its not getting better… and… he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me anymore. my confidence has taken a nose dive and he kind of hinted he may not be attracted to me anymore (citing my low self esteem, over emotional habits, and some other issues) and i just dont know if there is a way back for us.

i need to work on me and learn to just be happy. with or without him. like i was before him. but its very hard to be happy right now… when a person you look at with so much affection… is basically telling you he just doesn’t feel the same way anymore.

30 10 2008
Janelyse829

Rowdy-if it makes you feel any better, GUYS SUCK!!!!
the ones that are not sure if what they have is what they want. so then they unconsciously start looking for something better only to find out that what they had was what they really wanted and it was as good as it got. but they figure it out too late? the commitment freaks? the assholes that tell you a bunch of lies and get into your pants as much as they can and then leave when they are bored? yup. okay, not ALL guys are this way but most of them are. which brings me to this.

Question: What does one say to a friend that is supposed to get married in four days but walks into her apartment after picking up her wedding dress [had to make some last minute adjustments] to find her fiance in bed with her sister who is also her maid of honor? i personally would have killed them both. instead SHE packs up her things and leaves the apartment SHE pays for. i tried to tell her to tell him to leave but Kalayiah said that she’d rather leave than sleep in that bed again. i mean i guess i understand, but i would have kicked him out before i left. why should Kalayiah accomodate HIM after he did that to her? i’m not just saying this because she’s my friend but she’s a really good person and i am sure that she is the best thing that will ever happen to him. why would he do that/ with her sister? in HER bed? and its not just his fault i know Keisha [the sister] was part of it. it takes two to tango, but no one is forced to dance.

I do have good news though. I guess Munchkin’s mom decided that enough is enough and she is coming back with the baby and she wants to be in Munchkins life. i wonder how he’ll feel once she’s here and is spending more time with him.

30 10 2008
Clo

A rice sock is basically a sock (gym sock, heavier is better, and a clean sock!) filled with rice and sewn or tied shut that you microwave and it gets hot… Kinda like a heating pad. I guess you can freeze them too, but they’re just great cause of how the rice feels… And Cayden hasn’t grown THAT much in length, 3/4 of an inch I think, so he’s 21 and 3/4s… I realized I forgot to say that earlier…

Rowdy I wish there was something I could say, but you probably know everything I would say… I have two favorite quotes… One of them is “Having someone break up with you and tell you ‘we can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying ‘you can still keep it’.” And the other is “If he’s dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go.” But again, I know you know this, and I know it doesn’t lessen the sting anymore. Maybe now is just the time for you to work on you, you’re making a lot of big life changes… And maybe when it’s all settled down you two will meet again and discover you really are for each other. Or, maybe you’ll find someone else. Again, I know it sucks right now to be so in love with someone who one day decides they’re not in love back, but the thing that got me through my break ups was always knowing there’d be someone else.

30 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

Yea – the weird thing is… he keeps calling me. Like, even after the whole conversation we had (pathetically via IM) he called at midnight… which is normally when he calls to say hi and tell me goodnight since thats when his free minutes kick in… and I answered THAT call since I was still sorta awake… i mean it kinda woke me up but I wasn’t sleeping heavily so it wasn’t hard to wake me up… and I asked him how his evening was going and he was like, uhm… I didn’t really do much, ok I guess and I was like yea well I hope its going well anyway, doesn’t matter what you did, just wanted you to have a good one and its like my concern for HIS happiness totally threw him off. He was like you never ask me how my evening is. Now I think I ask him moer than he may realize but instead of fighting that I was like, Look, contrary to what you want to believe… I do care about you and I am concerned for your happiness and I want you to be happy. I am very interested in your life. Sorry. Is it wrong that I care about you. His answer was I don’t know. Then he said he would let me get to sleep since I sounded tired and normally I fight that saying nooo I want to say hi to you before I go to bed… but last night I was like yea, ok. Im not that tired but I should probably sleep. He said he would call me later. I assumed that meant another day but lo and behold – 2:30 my phone wakes me up again. This wouldn’t be abnormal since when things are good with us he calls me aroudn that time because HES going to bed and wants to say goodnight. And we’ll talk for a little bit before I pass out again. I didn’t answer last night. I was too tired… and Im still feeling weak from being physically sick all day yesterday. I refuse to eat anything because I don’t want to get sick at work so just drinking lots of water. But yea. Why is he calling me at 2:30 in the morning… or even at midnight…. when he is the one going off on how we talk too much and how I need to back off a little bit and relax and how we have to slow things down. I’m TRYING to do what he asks but he still calls me all the time. I told him yesterday I don’t think he knows what he wants… he said well then, I PROBABLY don’t.

I Don’t know what to do. I am supposed to go visit in a few weeks. But whether I see him or I stay with a cousin is up in the air. I would prefer to stay with him. I still miss him. And I still really want to work on things. I want to get back to where we were. And I want to work on myself. I don’t want him to be my therapist.. I just want him to be my friend. (well more… but you get the idea i hope).

I just don’t really understand anything right now. You want space, you want a break, but I’m not the one calling!

30 10 2008
monkeyspeaks

OH I guess a bit of happy news: I’ve lost 10 lbs. And I guess its enough that people are commenting on how I look slimmer. Which is great since I gained close to 15 before and now I’m only 5 lbs above my “low weight” which means I only need to shed off 15 before I hit a goal I’ve had for a while now. Im also only one pant size away from a goal. I guess just gotta keep at it. Lucky for me… when Im stressed or having a hard time with things I lose weight… I shy away from food (I eat… but I eat less..)

30 10 2008
lara21167

Rowdy, I don’t even know what to say. Janey is right Men Suck. And I love Clo’s sayings. I can tell just from what you’ve told us that your guy is giving you very mixed signals. Yea that’s going to make you insecure and clingy. So if that’s his problem he needs to stop giving you mixed signals. And he got mad at you for feeling like you had to ask to stay with him??? well if he made you feel more secure in your relationship you wouldn’t have felt like you had to ask. He should be mad at himself!! Like you said just concentrate on you. You don’t need him to make you happy. You just got this great job you’ve been wanting. Just concentrate on that and finding a place to live in CA. And look at it this way, think of all the fun you’ll have in CA being single 😉

Janey – let me know how today goes, should be getting easier and the aggravation should start to go away. When I quit before about day 3 I started to get a feeling of freedom. Glad Munchkin’s mom has decided to be a part of his life.
Now about your friend. That’s horrible!! 4 days before her wedding?!? With her sister ?!? Yes if it’s her apartment I’d throw the asshole out even if I didn’t want to live there after that. I don’t know what you can say to her she’s just got to pick up her life and move on. She’ll get mad, right now she’s probably still in shock. Too bad they shut down the “Joe Hottie” site she could log on and castrate Joe again and pretend it’s her ex fiance haha

I think I’m hitting an early menopause I swear sometimes I could just carry a baseball bat and beat men in the head with it. Might knock some sense into them 😉

30 10 2008
lara21167

Rowdy I was posting when you were and again he’s sending mixed signals. But notice how you’ve backed off and he’s calling you at all hours. Keep backing off, blow him off like you did last night. I hate games but sometimes they’re necessary.

30 10 2008
lara21167

Oh and yes Cloey I’m am soooo sick of this election. Can’t wait until it is over. Now what is this early voting thing. I don’t like it. West Virginia had it too and had problems. I just think early voting leaves room for tampering with the votes. Makes me nervous lol.

30 10 2008
Janelyse829

Lara-today was awsome. i feel better and not aggresive at all. but i have the biggest headache i’ve ever gotten. Ezi wanted called me at 10:30 and wanted to come over buuut i told him to stay home. i wasnt in the mood to be around people at that time. i went to bed after he hung up on me =] i’ve been kinda just hanging out. Kalayiah wants to go out and get drunk buut im still too young =[ she’s 21. her sister is 19. i met Kalayiah through her sisiter Keisha but i guess im just closer to Kalayiah.

Kalayiah wanted to tell Darell to get out but she couldnt face him. so i did it =] i absolutely LOVE being a bitch to guys!!!! i pisses me off that they treat women like shit but if another guy did to their mother/sister/cousin/daughter they’d prolly kill them.

Rowdy-i think you need to be clear with him. tell him that if HE asked for space he should stop calling you as much. he needs to figure out what he wants and he needs to do it fast because he is messing with your emotions. just tell him what you told us.

30 10 2008
lara21167

Rowdy, Janey may be young but she sure knows how to set the guys straight 🙂 think I would take her advise. And good job Janey telling that MFer to get out for your friend. Did she have a big wedding planned? I just couldn’t image going through all those plans for a wedding then having to cancel 4 days from it because my future husband turned out to be a pig!! Even if they weren’t planning a big wedding, it’s just as bad. Now with the smoking Janey, remember the actual physical addiction should be out of your system now. I can tell because you are feeling good. The headache may be some lingering addition. My point is now it’s all in your head. So remember that when your out with your friends that smoke and you start to crave one. That’s kind of what made me start up again (I had quit for 11 years!!) But I was always around people smoking and I started picking one up here and there, socially, especially if I was having a drink. Then I made the misstake of buying a pack and well back at it I am. It’s my only vice, that;s my excuse lol

30 10 2008
Janelyse829

Lara-she had a VERY big wedding planned. it just it makes me MAD as HELL that they are so such assholes. And Keisha is a bitch. how the hell do you look at your sister in the eye after you sleep with her fiance. and not for the first time either. i gues this whole thing started two weeks BEFORE HE PROPOSED!!!!! who does that. he will never know how much he’s destroyed her. if it were me? i think that there is a 85% chance that i would have cut his d*** off. he doesnt deserve to have one. i guess tha plan is Kalayiah is going to buy the booze and she’s gonna get drunk and im going to watch her puke. and i might have a couple drinks. not sure yet. tomorrow is HOLLOWEEN!!!! my best friend, her boyfriend and Ezi and i are going to go to the movies to watch the new scary movie that comes out tomorrow. then were going back to her place to watch all the old scary movies and eat candy. childish, i know, but lots of FUN!!!!

30 10 2008
Janelyse829

i totally mispelled halloween

31 10 2008
Witchypoo

Testing…

31 10 2008
Witchypoo

Ok…now I can write. Last night, I wrote out replys to some of what you Ladies wrote, but on my husband’s laptop. Our home computer crashed early yesterday am, and Jerry is having a guy from work fix it. Anyway, he has his laptop at work all day…so I tried to jump in there last night, but everything I wrote got erased when I tried to submit, (I forgot to register from this laptop first). So, I got impatient and went to bed. Anyhoo, I’m “fighting” for computer time, (my husband and two older boys all want it), so I have to be brief, (difficult for me, as I’m sure you’re all aware).

First, Goldie…your guy definitely seems to respond to a little ambiguity from you; it’s a fine line to walk, since it isn’t hard to frustrate and piss off a guy if you’re TOO aloof – yet they, (men in general), seem to lap up a little uncertainty thrown their way from the woman in their lives. You’re seeing it now in how your’s is responding to even just a little space that you’ve established…in response to his request, no less. Kind of ironic, hugh? Do you want him…for sure? If you do, and you’re sure of your feelings for him – KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING, GOLDIE. You subtley, gently, (yet with a single-minded, calm determination), establishing some space between the two of you will have him running in your direction so fast…you’ll want to laugh at how much he’s into you. I mean it…now, I’m not talking about playing head games with him; you just give him exactly what he asked for – and then some. You’ll probably find that the new perspective gives you a sense of freedom, security, and confidence…feelings it sounds like you’ve been short on lately in regards to your relationship. Try it and see how it works for you, Sweetie.

Jane…that bastard needs to pay for the kind of shit he pulled on your poor friend. Does he have any REAL feelings for her that you’re aware of? It seems the dumbasses like him need to lose someone great, and suffer the loss…before they can actually comprehend what they had. Her sister? It’s hard to even imagine what kind of back-stabbing slut who would do something like that to ANY girl she knew was marrying this jerk…let alone her own SISTER. Unbelievable. All you can do is what you’re already doing, Sweetie: be a good friend, and try to protect her like you are. Keep up the non-smoking, btw…

My husband’s laptop battery is winding down, so I have to sign off for now…I’ll check in when I can. HAPPY HALLOWEEN, LADIES!

Take care.

31 10 2008
Janelyse829

Witchy-he hasnt made any effort to contact her. he hasnt come by to apologize. he had his best friend call her to tell her that he wanted the engament ring back. and that if she didnt want to see him to give it to her sister because he was going to give it to her anyway. said he was with the wrong sister but didnt know how to break things off with my friend so he could be with her sister.
Kalayiah went to the club with some of her other friends and had the ony onw that was sober, kristy, call to tell me to come pick her up. at 2 AM. so when i got there she was so drunk she didnt even know her name. i brought her to my house and passed out on my couch. she’s going to have one big headache when she wakes up =]

31 10 2008
lara21167

He would actually give her engagment ring to her sister!! And her sister would accept it!! Oh she needs to accidentally loose the ring. I sure as hell wouldn’t give it back. I’m not a violent person but I really want to smack the shit out of this guy:) I’m sure he had plenty of time to break off the engagement if he didn’t want to marry her. So Janey how the quitting coming? You seem to be doing really well with it.

Rowdy, how are things today with the boo?

31 10 2008
Clo

I’d keep the ring. I mean, not cause I wanted it, but for spite. I’m a revengeful person. Or I’d do something like throw it into a river and tell him that’s where he can go get it at. Or I’d pawn it and tell him he could buy it back, and then spend the money on something else. Or, I’d tell him he could have the ring back when he paid off the wedding bills.

Boys are dumb.

31 10 2008
Janelyse829

she flushed it down the toilet and called him to tell him he could find it in the sewer system by her apartment. her parents are realy upset because Keisha and Kalayiah now hate each other. they almost got into a fist fight yesturday in front of them! and its not because of him; its the fact that she would do something like that to her sister. i mean, we knew she was jealous of Kalayiah but you had no right to take part in something that would destroy her sisters life.

31 10 2008
Janelyse829

Lara-its fine. im starting to forget all about them. i mean i wasnt like a heavyu smoker. a pack would usually last me 3 days.

31 10 2008
lara21167

Good job Janey on the quitting!! I smoke a bit more. I can make it through the 1st day without much trouble. The 2nd day always gets me though. I am so mad at myself for starting back up how it is. My mother died of lung cancer when I was 11, from smoking. So I know better.

And good job to Kalayiah for flushing the ring. ha It’s got to be hard on their parents I mean they know Keisha’s in the wrong but you can’t chose sides where your kids are concerned. She probably needs to start looking for a good rebound guy soon, someone really hot so she can show him off 🙂 I’m not a vengeful person, but this situation calls for all kinds of good revenge. After all castration’s illegal…

31 10 2008
Janelyse829

LOL Lara!!! Yea um, kalayiah doesnt really want to know about guys. she’ done. she said “guys are all bad and the good ones are taken so i might as well become a lesbian” but she’d a couple drinks when she said that so i dont know how serious she was.

and yea her parents really just want them to stop fighting and keisha doesnt want to apologize and she keeps rubbing in Kalayiah’s face that Darell never really wanted her and that she was just a piece of ass like she’s been to the three guys before him. i would mind it if Kalayiah kiked keishas ass. she needs to do it.

31 10 2008
lara21167

Yea, sounds like the girl needs a good ass whoopin’ lol. I don’t understand this guy though, if he didn’t want to be with Kalayiah why didn’t he say so long before now. And if Kalayiah hadn’t found out would he have married her? Sounds like he and Keishas deserve each other.

31 10 2008
Janelyse829

i dunno what his game was. i mean he started sleeping with keisha 2 weeks before he proposed to Kalayiah. i think that he would have married her. he said he didnt know how to break it off with kalayiah. he’s just an asshole

31 10 2008
Clo

So you guys have been talking about vices and I’m happy to say that I just found out today that I can continue my vice. I don’t drink a ton, I don’t smoke, no drugs, but I am addicted to… Coke. The cola, I mean. I thought cause I was on a low fat diet that I’d have to cut the coke out, but I was REALLY jonesing for one today, so I looked to see if I could even do like 1/2 a can or something, only to find that coke has no fat. Yay! (I know, just cause it’s no fat doesn’t mean it’s good for you, but it’s still super tasty so leave me alone!)

I got a call from the doctor and my tube sucking thing (I’m so medical) is scheduled for Monday… Which, I’m nervous and scared about, but I’m also just so ready for this all to be over. I was sick again yesterday, I think it was a migraine, and I’m just done with being sick. So, as soon as this procedure gets done, then they’ll schedule my gall bladder removal. The only thing is, I don’t think they’ll do it for thanksgiving, so I’ll still be on my crappy low fat diet then…

Rowdy- I think the other girls are right, keep doing what you’re doing. But be careful too… I had a boyfriend who only seemed to want me when I ignored him… (If I didn’t answer his calls, didn’t call him back, canceled dates.) If I showed interest, he’d break up with me, and then when I was just starting to get over him, he’d want me back. I’m not saying that this is the case with your guy, it’s just sometimes there’s dangers to playing games – that you can never stop playing games. BUT, sometimes guys just need to be ignored for awhile in order to make them appreciate what they want, if that makes sense. And I have a feeling I’m loosing weight too. I go in to my gyno for my check up on Tuesday, so we’ll see if I’m back to pre-pregnancy weight yet.

31 10 2008
lara21167

Clo you’re funny and yes make sure to clarify cola on that one haha. I have a friend totally addicted to Dr. Pepper so you’re not alone in the cola additions lol.

My bosses are so dumb they just rehired a guy that worked here years ago and is a total drunk. He got about half nasty with me once, his foreman kicked him off the job (they are roofers) because he smelled like booze. And I wouldn’t give him his check, it was pay day but my boss wanted to talk to him and she was out of the office. So he was getting kinda nasty when my boss finally got back. I mean this guy was so bad if he was drinking what they thought was the night before and couldn’t come in (more like the typical alcholoic’s hangover cure which is pop a beer as soon as you get up) all he had to do is call in work and say he was still drunk and couldn’t work. Damned if he could be that good of a roofer.I’d like to be involved in the hiring process around here 🙂

31 10 2008
Clo

Lara- We had a lady like that work with us. We worked with kids (In an after school program, and then in the summer at a camp) and she’d say repeatedly how she hated kids… Then she up and quit only giving them like a weeks notice. She quit to move with a guy to New York, left her daughter here with a friend (and didn’t pay her anything to help raise her daughter) then when things with the guy went sour, she came back, asked for her job back, and they gave it to her! She worked and year, but then when she found out that if she stayed on, she’d have to work part time as a counselor at camp (the previous year she was there she had been a cook. This time they were asking her to switch off with another woman, one week in the kitchen, next week in the cabin.) and she came to oone day of orientation, bitched the whole day, and then quit. I’d bet they’d hire her back too, if she asked. This is why that place is going downhill.

31 10 2008
Janelyse829

YAAAY!!! i finally left my hair curly and it actually looks good. i have really curly hair and i HATE leavin it out so i normally just put it in bun. today Ezi was like yuh should leave your hair curly and out. i said no then he was like yuh lukk sexy like that so i did and it looks really good hahaha

31 10 2008
lara21167

You young girls today just are always throwing your gorgeous hair in buns or ponies. My daugher does that and hair is beautiful . Think I mentioned I was an 80’s girl?!? You know all the trouble and money I put into my hair to curl it?? Perms and curling irons. I’m glad glad straight is in lol. I am sure your hair looks fantastic Janey. Now you and all the ladies have a great Halloween. I have trick or treat tonight. Then the parade tomorrow night. I will be tired!! The girls have a really cute little routine they’ll be doing. One girl with cute blonde curly (had to say that) she going to do a double back handspring on the road (she just a little thing which makes that much cuter) to the song Bad Girlfriend.
So have a great weekend everyone!!!

31 10 2008
lara21167

Cloey good luck with your “procedure” on Monday hope it goes easy for you.

1 11 2008
Witchypoo

Happy Halloween, Ladies! We got back a little while ago from taking Heath trick-or-treating. Jerry and I also took him to a Halloween party that his tumbling/gymnastics class put on. It was cute…pretty crazy with dozens of kids running around everywhere. My baby is Hulk…he is SO cute; my two older boys were “coaching” him while we were trick-or-treating, (telling him to make his voice really deep when saying “trick-or-treat”, and other silly things like that are funny to a 12 and 14 year-old). We had fun. Speaking of my 14 year-old, he turns 15 tomorrow; I can’t believe how fast he’s growing up. I swear, if I let myself think about it too much, I’ll get weepy. Tomorrow, Jerry and I will be shuffling two vehicle’s worth of 9th grade boys around all over: movies, the mall, (for some reason, they like to walk around the mall together; now that I think about it, my friends and I did a lot of that when we were that age, also), then out to dinner. It will be interesting…I also have a bridal shower for my niece going on from 1:00 – 3:00 tomorrow; I’ll only be able to drop off a gift in between all the activities. Busy…

Janey, I wonder how that younger sister, (Keisha?), can try to justify her blatant betrayal of her own sister. Is she a total slut, or what? Does she have a MAJOR jealousy problem regarding her older sister? She’d have to…or maybe she’s just totally stupid/morally lacking. It’s not a common, easily understandable type of situation she helped to create; what a mess. While I know that most parents don’t like to take sides in a dispute between siblings, I’m pretty sure that I would step in HARD if some bullshit like that went on between my kids; the backstabbing one would get a serious reality check from me…at the very least. I just can’t imagine a sibling doing something like that. The whole situation you described sounds so…skanky – dirty. I hope your friend, Kalayiah, finds a GREAT, really HOT guy to make her feel better, (eventually, I mean…she probably needs a short break from the male gender to recoup, first). That guy with his head up his ass, (Darrell?)…he and the other sister deserve each other, (like Lara said). He’ll probably realize what kind of a huge dumbass mistake he made soon enough. Yes, Cloey…you’re right: boys are dumb. A REAL man wouldn’t pull that kind of sleazy shit. Kalayiah will be happy once she finds a MAN with some real substance. There’s my rant for the evening, Ladies.

Janey…your curly hair sounds pretty. Is it long, short, or in-between?

Any good Halloween parties/activities, Ladies? Lara, the parade sounds fun. Tell us about it when you get the chance.

Happy spooking, nightie-night…and take care, Ladies.

Anyhoo…Goldie, I hope that you’re no-show for today is because you are too busy having a fun Halloween to stop long enough to check in. How are you, anyway, Sunshine?

Cloey, good luck on the sucking procedure on Monday, (that sounds funny, doesn’t it?); I’ll be thinking of you, Sweetie. Give your sweet baby a kiss, from Witchy, (Kim), and tell him, “Happy 1st Halloween, Cayden!”

Lara…Yeah, I well remember all the time and money spent on my “big” 80’s hair. Hahaha…I’ve always had long hair, (except when I wore it in a bob the first year of college – then went back to long); I always got those spiral perms, and my curling irons, (yes, plural), always got a very good workout. My hair is naturally straight, which is conveniently “en vogue” these days. Sometimes I use hot rollers on it, though, for extra volume. Fascinating, hugh?

1 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hmmm…I guess I jumped around a bit when I was writing; it’s a little distracting around my house, sometimes. The paragraphs aren’t exactly in chronological order…but you all probably get the gist, anyway, hugh?

Again, HAPPY HALLOWEEN, LADIES. Take care.

1 11 2008
Clo

Witchy- It’s good to hear from you, it’s funny, I miss you when you’re not around…

Happy birthday to your other spawn!

Cayden had an OK first halloween, he hated his costume, so he only wore it for five seconds, which makes me glad we only spent like 5 bucks on it (once upon a child rocks sometimes.) And then he pretty much slept right through it. I handed out candy at Moms (we get no trick or treaters) and she got a lot more than we expected… We actually ran away from the trick or treaters, cause we only had 3 pieces of candy left and there was 4 of them…

We did have some… interesting trick or treaters. I mean I figured we’d get a few highschoolers, I lived in a small community and it was the norm to trick or treat up to your senior year, though some kids dropped it earlier… But, I mean, it’s kinda hard to give up, it’s probably one of my most missed childhood memories… But I just think that if you’re going to be that old, and still trick or treating, you need to at least put effort into a halloween costume. And then, we had some grown adults, like I mean this one guy had gray hair and missing teeth, and there was one kid with him (and the two other adults who also asked for candy) and it was a baby, who was smaller than Cayden. And they weren’t even wearing costume. We also got a women who was like 50, and another woman who was very clearly pregnant (who was obviously trick or treating for her unborn fetus. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a costume.)

We did get some really cute trick or treaters. My top 3 favs:
1.) This little girl who stood at the top of the stairs for a really long time staring at Cayden (my sister was holding him, and the little girl was standing really close to them.) She didn’t say a word the whole time she was there, and then stayed like a second longer than her friends. All of a sudden she looks up at my sister, goes “I like yo’ baybay” and then runs away.

2. A little girl wearing a monkey costume. Her dad was like “Oh she’s a little monkey, she LOVES monkeys, don’t you love being a monkey sweetie?” at this point the little girl takes her juice cup out of her mouth and yells “TURTLE!”

3. A little girl (I guess they were all little girls… The boys wore adorable costumes but tended to be more shy than the girls?) comes running up yelling “Trick or treat, trick or treat, trick or treat!” and I gave her candy. Her dad said “OK honey, now what do you say?” She paused for a second, looked around, then smiled and said “TRICK OR TREAT!” and ran away. It was cute cause you could tell she was just learning how to talk.

I, am not in the best moods right now. For one, my sister and I were bored this afternoon and decided to place an ad on craigslist for her looking for a boyfriend. We were 1/2 joking, but I figured if we found anyone who seemed decent, why not? We got some HILARIOUS responses… And were pretty amused, but one guy seemed OK. I chatted with him for a minute on yahoo chat, and he seemed a little… eager, but altogether OK, I chalked it up to the fact that he was bored at work… So I gave him my sister’s cell phone number, explained that she had just gotten out of a relationship where the guy moved too fast and that freaked her out, so he should start slow and prolly just start talking through text… I also explained that we’d be busy that night with trick or treating and were having some family over…

So my sister checks her phone about an hour into trick or treating (basically an hour after I gave this guy her number) and already had FOUR missed calls from him, 2 voicemails, and a text. One of the voicemails was normal… Like “Oh if you want to talk just hit me back.” and the next one was angrier like “if you don’t want to talk to me just say so!” So I texted him back on Lizzie’s phone (she wouldn’t do it) and was just like “My sister explained that I had just gotten out of a bad relationship, no offense but you calling and texting so many times in such a short period freaks me out.” thinking he’ll get the hint and leave her alone. He doesn’t. So after several times of trying to tell him nicely that she wasn’t interested, we flat out send him a text like “leave me alone.” He then texts once to be like “Really? You’re serious? Wow.” and then “So, how was your night, did you dress up?” and I was like really dude? So we ignored it, and then he CALLS. So I text him from my husbands phone like “dude, this is Lizzie’s brother, (I thought coming from a man would be scarier) she asked you to leave her alone, you need to do it.” and he sends a text back and says “Fuck off” and I was like “OK, that’s fine, but she asked you to back off and you’re coming off crazy and desperate, if you text/call her phone or mine again, we’ll be contacting the police for phone harassment, keep in mind as well that we also have a baby sleeping and don’t need phones ringing off the hook” and he finally texted back OK.

I’m not knocking the net, I met my husband online, but I guess I forgot you still gotta watch out for the nut jobs. However, if you have some free time, you should totally post an ad (with a fake email addy) on craigslist, cause some of the replies we got? Insane.

Last thing that pisses me off? It is really hard to sit there passing out candy when you’re seriously craving it, watching everyone else munch on it, when you can’t eat it. And to top it off, I’m a picky eater, and then my food is even more limited by what I can’t eat that now I’m so sick of eating the same group of things… So I’m at my Moms and she doesn’t have anything I can eat, and I mention to my hubby that I’m hungry, and he’s like “Either we leave and get something on the way home, or we stay for a little longer and you’re hungry, cause I’m not running out and getting something and coming back.” So I’m like whatever. Then we go home, and he doesn’t stop on the way, and I’m like “I told you I was hungry” and he’s like “You didn’t tell me where to stop” and I was waiting for him to ask me, cause I didn’t know if he wanted to stop by my moms house or by ours, and it just pissed me off that he didn’t even ask. I love my husband, but I think I mentioned before, sometimes he doesn’t THINK about anyone but himself. I don’t want to call him selfish, cause it’s not that, I just think that with his parents he had to kinda look out for himself, and then with his ex wife they were married but didn’t really act married, so I just think he’s not used to considering others. Like he always bitches at me to get ready on time and then right before we walk out the door he decides to stop and do something. Like today, I had stopped feeding Cayden, strapped him in his car seat, and just when I got him hooked in, my husband decides he HAS to get online and check something. I’m like wtf? You couldn’t have done that while I was strapping him in? And he’s thing was it’s no big deal, it’s 2 minutes, but of course in that 2 minutes Cayden starts wailing. Where as, had we been in the car, he wouldn’t have cried, cause the car puts him to sleep.

Sometimes I just want to strangle him.

And that’s my book for tonight. Ladies, I hope your halloweens were fun and safe.

1 11 2008
Janelyse829

Witchy, Clo-My halloween was…interesting. we ended up not going to the movies but i went to my best friends house and watched like 5 scary movies and one funny one. while we were watching the movies we sorta kinda got drunk. then at like midnight i suggested [and im blaming my behavior on the fact that im only 18] that we sing kareoky. cuz c’mon! how much fun is it to sing kareokt when you’re drunk?!? so we did that and we all passed out around 1 am. when we woke up this morning around 10 my best friend suggested that we play monopoly to see if we were still a bit tipsy. turns out we werent as sober as we thought. my best friend kept yelling at her boyfriend cuz he was being anoying and then i kept yelling at her because she bought all the properties i wanted. we were a mess. then around 12 i went home took a shower and went back to her house then we went to the mall and i just got home. i bought the cutest pair of black Ugs. soooooo comfy.

Witchy-my hair is sorta short. my ends fall right on top of my shoulders. and its like a deep reddish brown but its more red then brown.

so i just got home and munchkin is here. but he’s acting really strange. like he is usually all over me. but he’s not talkin to me and not responding to my questons. he laughs when i tickle him but that is it. its really weird.

Ezi never bothered to show up last night and never called to offer a reason why he didnt show up so i’ve been ignoring his calls.

that being said, have you guys tried the mint mojito smirnoff?!? i had 6 of them last nigh and thats what got me drunk. that and the 3 vodka on the rocks =]

1 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hi there, Ladies…how’s it going? Hey, Cloey, I miss you too when you’re away for a while. Besides the sweet nature I sense from you, (even when you’re busy telling us how much you hate people, or how you’d like to punch someone in the face, or whatever…hahaha), I definitely feel like you’re a straight shooter. Yeah, I know it’s an old-fashionded term that mostly old men use, but it’s what comes to mind when I’m reading your comments. I really like people who aren’t full of shit, if you’ll pardon my cursing…and it’s a nice bonus that your mind seems to work in, and grasp, subtleties and nuances that not everyone communicates with. If you know what I’m trying to express, because I’m not doing a very good job at being clear, (I just read what I wrote, and it looks like gibberish, I think).

Anyhoo…yes, that guy sounds like he might be a bit aggressively desperate; it’s hard to tell until it’s too late, sometimes. Has he bothered your sister, anymore? I remember guys who would act like you were leading them on just by SPEAKING to them, (out of sheer politeness, only)…or acknowledging them in the smallest way. You’de wind up thinking, “WHY did I try to be decent to this idiot?!” Dumbasses…

Speaking of which: any news, Janey, on the situation with your friend and that DUMBASS she was fortunate enough to escape from BEFORE the ball and chain was fastened securely to her ankle? I know that all this happened ridiculously close to her wedding…but someday, that lucky girl is going to look back and be so GRATEFUL that she didn’t wind up going through with a marriage to a guy who would do something so awful. It would be so much worse if he’s pulled that kind of shit say, AFTER, they’d had a baby or two, or whatever, you know? Things get so much more complicated after kids enter the equation. Now, she can wash her hands of him without any leftover evidence, (besides her bruised heart). The sister…now that’s a more complicated problem. She’s family – kind of hard to avoid seeing her in the future, (though, if my sister had done something like that to me, I’d probably do a pretty good job of avoiding being in the same dimension as her…she’d wonder if I had been a figment of her imagination all along). There are ways to deal with backstabbers of that caliber. So, feeling good, Janey? (I mean about kicking-the-habit). It’s so good that you’re doing this BEFORE you’ve had a chance to make it an entrenched part of your daily routine…much easier than a few years down the road, Sweetie. Did you finish your poem?

Cloey, the little girls you described trick-or-treating sound adorable. Yes, little girls usually speak more clearly, and frequently, at a much younger age than little boys. They’re also usually more outgoing with strangers, in general, (the sexes kind of follow the same patterns as little kids as they do later in adulthood, hugh?). There was this one little girl at Heath’s tumbling class Halloween party…she was dressed up as Cinderella, (cute, frilly little pink dress and all that), and she just would not leave Heath alone. This was fine, because Heath is extremely friendly and outgoing himself…but he was totally confused by her behavior: pretending to be “scared silly” of THE HULK, complete with convincing screams and facial expressions…yet following him around all over and being clingy. It was tremendously funny and poignant for me to witness this exchange between the two, (let the games begin, hugh?)…so stereotypically representative of how the sexes interact – and completely mystify each other. Her mother kept telling her gently, “Hunny, leave the little boy alone; he’s not TRYING to scare you – he doesn’t know what you’re doing.” I’m always finding myself giggling my ass off around my kids…especially Heath, (he’s so outgoing and kind of outrageous…I love it).

Yeah, newborns don’t exactly take to Halloween costumes; they usually sweat a lot in them, and sometimes the material is scratchy and uncomfortable. I’ll bet you took about a million pictures, though, hugh? Before you know it, you’ll be looking at those photos wondering how so much time has passed – and how your little Cayden grew up soooooo fast. Living in the moment – and enjoying it to the fullest…it’s such an important thing to remember with your babies, and your husband. Enjoy your little family, Cloey; they’re really all that’s really important in this world.

Speaking of which…Jerry and I dropped Beau, Chance, and some of Beau’s friends off at the local shopping mall; it’s one of those huge ones with a really nice movie theater on the 3rd floor. They saw ‘Max Payne’, and now they’re just bumming around the mall, (doing who-knows-what…probably just acting stupid). Jerry, Heath and I are going back in a little while to pick them up and go out to pizza, cake…all that. We dropped off the gift for my niece at her shower; the place was packed at my sister-in-law’s. I felt kind of bad for not staying…but Jerry insisted on waiting in the car with Heath so that he wouldn’t get stuck sitting at the shower, twiddling his thumbs and trying to make conversation with a house full of women, (never mind that his own sister is having the shower). My niece, Danielle’ is only 18…kind of young to be getting married. Though, she and her fiance’ have been going out for years; he’s in the army, and she wants to go with him when he’s stationed wherever it is that he’ll be going, (I’m not sure where that will be). When I walked up to Danielle’ to give her a hug and kiss, the poor girl looked like a deer caught in headlights in the midst of all that twittering attention. I remember that self-conscious feeling of being the center of attention…wanting to fall through a hole in the floor. I’m glad Jerry and I did the whole traditional wedding thing…but there were parts of the process that were so nerve-wracking for me. Danielle’ is a sweet girl…I hope she and her guy are happy together.

Well…I should probably get to ordering the pizza ahead of time, so we don’t have to wait as long. Hope your weekend is going great, Cloey, Jane, Lara, and everyone…(Goldie – are you there?) Maybe I can jump on later…take care, Girls.

1 11 2008
Janelyse829

Witchy-happy bday to Beau!!!! and no, i havent finished my poem. writers’ block. worst thing in the world

2 11 2008
monkeyspeaks

hey guys. sorry. its been a long few days i guess. happy belated birthday to your big man witchy.

my friend is dating a guy named Beau. just random tidbit

the guy and I have spoken a few times since the whole… ordeal…. he was really nice to me yesterday up until he called right before bed and then suddenly his attitude was weird… like he was upset that i was out. i dunno. i was like i can’t believe you’re mad at me and he said i don’t care and i said but i want you to care and he said uhm so you WANT me to be mad at you? yea. i said no but i want you to care about me. you dont have to be mad at me to care about me. who effing knows.

something weird happened to me today. I was waiting for my parents for lunch at a spot near my apartment and some lady comes up to me and starts talking about Nemo. Shes like IN my face kinda though and it was weird i kept trying to step back witout being TOO rude. so suddenly she goes, you have an amazing aura. i thanked her and she offered to do a reading for me but i didn’t have $$ so i declined politely saying i was waiting for my parents and didn’t have time right then. she said ok, well without a full reading I can’t really figure out the details but i see three things and i can tell they are all very good. I was like hey sweet. not gonna knock that! so she leaves and my parents meet me and we eat. THEN I head home and a totally different person stops me and was like “Wow, your aura is beautiful! just amazing” she offered to do a reading. I said no thanks, no money, and she gave me a card. It was just. I dunno. Random? That two different people at different times would stop me like that. like I keep thiking maybe they are out hunting but like this chick crossed over from the other side of the block to get me to stop to tell me that. I thought she was gonna ask for a smoke and she just blurts out the aura thing. And the other lady was kinda random too but she stopped me bc of the dog and was talking about how she wanted one and congratulated me when i told her i got him as a bday present to myself four years ago.

What would ya’ll think if that happened?

OH yea and I got my offer letter today. They are offering me a 16% raise compared to my current salary with a potential 5% bonus every year. WOOHOO.

2 11 2008
Janelyse829

Rowdy that is awsome! i bet you cant wait to start the job now lol

and about random people sayin that? i would have been like you’re crazy. but then i would have not stopped thinking about it.

the problem with munchkin is fixed. YAYYYY!!! he was just tired. i gave him a bath and then he took a nap and when he woke up he was ALL over me. and being rude.
i was like “i love you baby” and he was like “yea, i know you do” WTF?
then i called him because i was going to give him something to drink and he was like “what do you want?!?” bt now he’s back to the baby boy i love and harass all the time =] my dad called to talk to him and he was telling my dad how he couldnt talk to me because i was his. so cute lol

2 11 2008
Clo

Witchy- I know what you’re saying. And thank you… I don’t know if I’m a straight shooter or not, but I know I don’t really see a point in lying… It’s a waste of time for the most part.

Your son (the Hulk) sounds adorable! (I mean, all your sons sound adorable… But you know what I mean!) I hope your sons birthday went well. Oh, and I actually didn’t take 3 million pics, just like, 3… LoL, I WOULD have taken a billion, but I didn’t want a whole bunch with him crying… I just didn’t want to remember that, lol. I planned on putting him back in it later and getting more, but then he got REALLY fussy, and then later he passed out so… BUt I did get one funny one of my husband “biting” him (He was a pea pod, so he was acting like he was eating him) but Cayden was crying so it kinda looks like he’s really biting him and it hurts. I dunno it’s not really funny once you say it like that I guess.

Rowdy- That’s really cool about the aura’s. Maybe it was someone’s way of telling you to hang in there? I dunno, I just find I get “signs” when I’m facing rough patches. For example, I’m not particular religious (I am in my own way but we won’t get into that now) but one time I was having a hard time, and I do believe in God in my own way, but I was questioning a lot of things and why they happened. Anyway, it was the end of summer so we were having our “end of camp” staff dinner and as a gift my boss gave us these bookmarks. He is VERY religious, so they were biblical, and they each had a saying from the bible on it. The one he gave me just fit the times so perfectly, and it was just really weird to me, it said “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you.” or something like that. I dunno, it just kinda made me mellow out, like… OK, things ARE going to be OK. Maybe that’s what the Universe was trying to tell you. (Another one of my favorite sayings: You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.)

As for Stalker McStalkerson, he ended up emailing me this morning like “That was wrong what your sister did to me, she didn’t even give me a chance, I’m a great guy, I own my own house, drive a lexus brag brag brag.” And I was like “Dude, YOU were wrong. You DIDN’T listen to me at all when I said a.) to text her first and b.) we were busy that night. I don’t know you well enough to say whether or not you are a great guy, but I do know that you did come off as desperate, and by continuing to contact either one of us you are just further proving our point. I wish you the best of luck in the future, but some advice? You may want to calm down there, sparky.”

I haven’t heard from him again. I bet I do though, cause he doesn’t seem like the type to just let it go. It’s just crazy though, to me. How he completely ignores what I told him, and then has the balls to be like “what did I do wrong?” like, seriously dude?

2 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hi, Ladies…I may as well jump on here now, since I don’t know if I’ll be able to later. My husband is bringing our home computer back from work tomorrow – it’s been fixed. So, Jerry is at baseball team practice with Chance right now; the laptop is conveniently free, (for the minute). Beau got a laptop of his own from Jerry and me yesterday for his birthday presant; he’s busy installing things on it at the moment. Thanks for the b-day wishes for my oldest spawn, Ladies; he had a great day with his friends and family. We had a lot of fun at pizza last night with Beau and his friends. 9th. grade boys can be really funny; these guys are surprisingly witty, for the most part, (one of the reasons Beau is good friends wtih them – he loves people with a good sense of humor).

Goldie…your experiences with the women commenting on your aura, and offering to give you a reading…wow. I’d think it was VERY interesting, and pretty cool if that happened to me – even while the skeptic in me would be whispering questions and observations in my ear about scams and all that. I mean, I do believe that there are people who have an unusually sensitive “sixth sense”…or whatever you’d call it. I think we all have a capacity to tune into more cerebral, “spiritual” wavelengths, but from childhood on, we’re trained to ignore that part of our existence…to look at it with disdain and suspicion – if not humor. I definitely believe these different awarenesses exist, in many capacities; I also know that there are people who capitalize, or exploit these beliefs in others. Do you have any reason to think that maybe these two people know each other? What a coincidence…two in one day, (one right after the other, no less). Hmmm…or, maybe you are just more “open” and exposed right now, Goldie, with all the changes and emotional upheaval you’ve been experiencing lately. Some people are just naturally more easily “read” than others, by virtue of their natures/personalities. Then there are those who definitely give off a “Just keep a good, safe distance away from me” type of vibe; you know – people who just natually strike you as being wary of others…maybe a little hard to get to know? I’d be really interested to know for sure one way or the other if one or both of these people are legit. I would choose to take what was said about you having good things coming up as a very good “sign”…positive attracts positive. Even with some of the complications you’ve mentioned about your life/personality, Goldie…I still get a very strong positive “vibe” from you – very distinct. Now that I’ve worked that subject over thoroughly…there’s my answer to your question about what we’d, (in this case, me), think if this kind of experience happened to me: definitely take it as a positive, and use that as extra “oomph” to muscle you through these complex stages you’re experiencing right now, (professional, love, living arrangements, etc.). Hey, why not grasp any type of encouragement, hugh? So, your guy wasn’t crazy about you being out having a little lighthearted fun on Halloween, hugh? Hmmm…too bad, I guess. What do these males expect when they’re being difficult to get along with…that we’re just supposed to sit home and pout about them? (I mean, this was my attitude when I was in that whole dating/new(er) relationship thing. Even nowadays, I sometimes find that my guy would almost prefer me focusing completely on him. Though, he’s not really a selfish person or anything; I just think males WANT their females centered on them…yet, the irony is that they often get bored with women who make EVERYTHING about them, (the guy), or the relationship. So, I think you should try to keep it relatively lighthearted…not take his bait when he’s “pouty” about you having a little well-earned entertainment/enjoyment in your life. Like I said, endless, serious talks about “where the relationship is going” seems to screw things up more often than it helps, you know? I have always found that a little (not always, of course), avoidance works wonders for just having a little fun “together-time”. My system can only take so much draining, “deep” relationship talk; I find it exhausting, and discouraging sometimes. Things often work themselves out eventually…with a little tolerance and patience on both sides. When I feel like I’m being manipulated or jerked around, (however subtley, or unintentionally), I just come right out in plain-spoken language; “So, do you have a problem, or what? No…great, then let’s just enjoy the evening”…or something to that effect. I’m not too fond of beating around the bush – I’m too impatient for evasive tactics. This way, if he insists on being a pain in the ass about whatever it is that’s got him pissed off, the responsibility is put on his shoulders for voicing what he’s really thinking…instead of passive/aggressive bullshit that doesn’t accomplish anything, (except starting arguments). Guys like to blame all the emotional, complicated crap that goes on in most relationships on the women; we’re great scapegoats for that. The thing to remember is this: when a man really cares for you in more than a piece-of-ass kind of way…they have just as many screwy emotions/insecurities as they think we do. Sometimes they try to play headgames with us to get whatever reassurance they’re seeking, (even the “good-guys” do this – sometimes without even consciously intending to). Try not to fall into this pattern of relating all the time…even though it’s bound to happen sometimes. Remember, you’re not the only one who’s “screwed up”…no matter what he’s suggesting to the contrary.

See you later, Ladies. Take care.

3 11 2008
Janelyse829

hey guys, how’s it going?

remeber that cousin i said i was never speaking to again???
yea well, i am now. and aparently i’ll be getting into a confrontation with this chick named Hallie. you guys remeber i said that i have a VERY quick temper?
well said Hallie is my cosin Janyelis sworn enemy since my cousin started dating Hallie’s ex. she swore to my cousin that she’d break them up one way or another. and i usually dnt get in the middle of things like this but she started saying madd things about me because i told her POLITELY to leave Joi [thats what i call her] alone. they were going to fight on more than one occasion. first off i may hate her for now, but family is family and as retarted as this sounds no one beats on ma cousin but me =] second i KNOW my cousin would kick this bitches ass but whats got my blood bloing is that she dont know me and she is going around tellin people that im pussy and she aint scared and she could beat me. so i start arguing on myspace and the i get a message from her older cousin tellin me that she was going to get her sister on me and that i wasnt going to fight Hallie and to watch waht i say.

i have some very obscene words for that right now. like are you serious. im just arguing wth yuh and yuh gotta get yuhr cousin?? fisrt of i told her cousin that i ws doing the same thing she was doin: stickin up for family. and that her cousin was the one talkin about me so they needed to watch what they were saying and get the facts straight. i mean if yuhr going to sit there and run your mouth and talk all this shit and you cant even put your words into actions? i KNOW i can and I WILL so im not worried. but itf pisses me off that she’s callin me pussy but yet she got her cousin to send me a message to tell me that i had to fight some one else cause i cant fight Hallie. why? cause Hallie is scared and she out her foot in her mouth instaed of outting her money where her mouth is.

i know i misspelled some things but im madd so i think its okay =]

3 11 2008
lara21167

Hello ladies, I see we all had interesting weekends. Clo yea that guy sounds like a real crack pot. Your sister’s probably turned off online dating forever lol. I bet Cayden was an adorable little pea :).

Rowdy – like witchy said the skeptic in me wonders if the 2 ladies were working a scam together. But since it was 2 different areas at 2 different times I don’t know. The more spiratual side of me thinks great things are coming your way and they could just see that, which is what attracted them to you. Congrats again on the job especailly the pay increase. Now about your boo, again I agree with witchy, I think he’s just going through some commitment fear thing that men go through. THe jealousy he felt about you going out, and that’s what is was, is a clear sign that he really cares. He’s probably just a bit confused right now, about what? Who really knows men are just…. men lol. Hang in there I think he’ll come around and realize what he has in you.

Witchy – Happy belated Birthday to Beau. Glad he had a great one. And I know what you mean about them growing soooo fast. My oldest is graduating this year 😦 . BTW he has already completed his 2 classes he had to make up from last year. They were able to work at their own pace. So he is on schedule.

Janey- Nothing like a threat to a family member to bring you together lol. Let us know how this turns out. And have you talked to Ezi? Oh and did you smoke when you were drinking Halloween night?? Drinking and cigs go together. THat was always my weekness.

Now my Halloween – I took my daughter and my 16 month nephew trick or treating. Much more fun with the little one. He had a blast. Although he fell asleep at the end. he was a giraffe. My daughter was a bum. We couldn’t find a decent custom at a decent price. So we went with the bum idea. Now I wouldn;t mind spending $25 – $30 on a custom if she was going to a party or something but just for trick or treat forget it lol.

The parade went great. Our youth team, my daughter is on, had 1 hour of practice for a routine for the parade. My daughter was the only one who knew it so she got to lead the rest 🙂 But they all caught on and did a great job. The senior (senior team is 12 – 18 year olds) were doing some stunts I didn’t think they should do on the road like that. The level 4 squad was tossing their flyer is the air and she was doing a back tuck in the air landing back in their arms. If I were the coach I wouldn’t have allowed it. The mat is one thing but being on the road is completely different. All and all it was fun and I am sore from walking. It’s like a 2 mile walk. But the worst part is waiting for your turn to go. we waited about 2 hours but the weather was great, it was probably 80during the day Saturday then upper 50’s that night. So that was great.

3 11 2008
lara21167

I was curious if anyway’s fair cities did what mine did for Halloween. All registered sex offenders where required to attend an all night meeting on Halloween. I thought that was pretty cool. Keep the pervs off the streets!!

3 11 2008
lara21167

Cloey, I had to check your myspace for pics of your little pea, that’s an adorable costume!! To bad he hated it.

3 11 2008
Gabberjazz

Hey Ladies
I hope everyones Halloween went well…. Ihave a funny story…
we bought thoes plastic pumpkins as their bags this halloween. well we heard this really big bang from my bedroom anad my daughter went in to find out what happened. she called me and I came in to this pitbull with the pumpkin stuck on her head. I was laughing so hard It took awhile to get it off of her.
Poor pup!!!!

4 11 2008
Clo

Hey girls, will write more tomorrow, we’ve had some crazy stuff happen over the weekend, but my endonoscopy thingy was today and I’m still pretty drugged. I ended up having a lot of pain after, so now they’re monitoring me cause I guess there’s a chance I could get pancreatitus again and they had to cut me or something. Anyway I’m ok, just.. Drugged well 🙂

4 11 2008
Clo

Wow- So i just slept for like 24 hours… I had my scope thingy yesterday and they took out my stones. It was… Interesting. I don’t think they put me to sleep, but I think the medication wore off twice cause I remember feeling uncomfortable and making a noise and hearing them say “give her some more” and then going back out again. And I remember them pulling out the tube and burping really loud and wanting to say excuse me but passing back out before I could. The pain came after… I dunno if it’s cause they said they had to make a cut to pull out the stone or if it was just irritated from having all that suction or what, but it hurt after. SO they gave me more drugs and sent me on my way 🙂

Early Sunday morning I got some crazy news… My sister called at like 3:30 in the morning… Her ex-boyfriend, who was also good friends with my hubby and I (He was in our wedding with my sister) killed himself. It’s just crazy weird and I don’t really believe it 100%… He was a really good guy, but he had a lot of issues, including a nasty drug habit. I’m OK, but I know my sisters going through some stuff… They broke up because of his wicked bad drug habit… He was starting to pull her back in (she has on again off again drug use, which gets pretty nasty sometimes…. She caught a nasty case of MRSA from Meth use) And they’d have HORRIBLE fights. It’s just really sad to me, cause like I said, when he wasn’t using he was a great guy. But, my sister said towards the end it started to be when he wasn’t using he was looking for something to use, and thinking my sister had something and was hiding it from him… Anyway, the funeral is tonight, and I’m going to offer to go with her, but I dunno if she’ll want me too. I just worry cause his family has never gotten along with her… When Gus was peeved at Liz he’d tell them things, some lies, some truths… And when Gus was peeved at his family, he’d tell Lizzie things about them. I’m kinda afraid with how emotional they must be, that they might blame her and try to start stuff. And anyway, shes already blaming herself, even though she knows it’s not her fault (if that makes sense…)

Lara- I don’t think our city did that. I know the news was telling people to look up sex offenders on the web and to avoid their houses…
I can’t figure out if it’s sad that we didn’t have to do that when I was younger, or if it’s better that we have these resources now….

4 11 2008
lara21167

You know Clo, it’s probably that we didn’t have the resourses or maybe the sexual preditors had more self control back in the day. You know they had to be around it’s just not something new. I still like that mandatory meeting served them right. I am sooo sorry about your sister’s ex. I don’t know why people think that suicide is their only way out. All it does is hurt everyone that person loved and cared about. I agree your sister shouldn’t go alone they probably are blaming her which is just stupid. The only one responsilble for how he lived his life and how he died is himself. Glad your surgery went well. Are they still going to remove your gallbladder?

On a lighter note my daughter’s cheer team won 1ST PLACE in the parade yay!! I’m excited because they have different divisions for different things judged. Well there is no catagory for cheerleaders. Our director always puts us under “moving bodies” In that catagory we are up against an adult dance team called Lindy Hop and they are excellant we dont’ stand a chance. This year I guess our new coach had her put us under “drill team” and that is where the other cheer teams go under. So that way we were up against other Cheer teams and won 1ST PLACE!! I guess those flying back tucks (whatever they are called) paid off!!

4 11 2008
lara21167

Gabber funny story with the dog. I had a cat once got her head stuck in a paper grocery bad. When I got the bag off her and she realized I was laughing at her (I was laughing hysterically) she got soooo embarrased and ran into the other room and wouldn;t come out for hours.

4 11 2008
lara21167

Well I just got done voting on my lunch hour, for all the good it did. I don’t live in a “key” state so I feel like my vote doesn’t even matter. The news makes it sound like only 8 out of 50 states even matter. I don’t know but I’m getting a bit cynical on our voting process. First time ever that I had to wait in a line though.

4 11 2008
janelyse829

hey ladies.

Lara-congrats to your daughters team! yiu must be real proud.
yes i did smoke with my drinks and im ashamed to say tht i just smoked one like 5 minutes ago. =[ but we’re not telling Ezi =] lol not that he’ll call me or come over anyway.

Gabber-that poor dog sounds cute but she must have been scared lol.

so my cousin is now suspeded from school. I had to go pick her up at school yesturday because Hallie wanted to argue and Joi didnt so Joi kicked her ass instead. then whn i got there she tried to get smart with me and it just went downhill from there. i mean even i wasnt that stupid in high school. speacially during senior year. but whatever she got hers coming. best thing is she wont even know what hit her. im done getting mad. its time to get even

4 11 2008
lara21167

Alright miss Janey calm yourself, if this girl is under 18 you could get yourself in a bit of trouble!! And what’s with Ezi?

4 11 2008
Janelyse829

Lara- its not even about her anymore!!! my cousin beat her up so now she got her cousin whose 18 after my cousin. my cousin is only 16 years old. are you serious?? no. not at all. i understand that this was never my problem to begin with. but the thing is im considered the baby of the family but in a way its like i have to take care of everyone else. im VERY over protective of every memeber of my family no matter how old they are. and hate her or not shes my cousin but she’s more like a little sister to me. and Hallie made t my problem when she decided to start talking shit about me withouth even fuckin knowing me. well see how much shit she can talk wehn she’s missing half her teeth

4 11 2008
Janelyse829

oh, nd BTW Ezi’s mad at me because of halloween so he’s refusing to talk to me.
he’s mad that i got drunk and he’ mad that i started smoking again. oay i get it he cares he wants whats best for me blah blah blah. im 18 and i want to have fun. its not my fault he didnt want to go with me and chose to stay a home and do nothing but sleep. i dont bitch at him when he goes and gets trashed with his buddies friday nights. but he said that he didnt care. “its not classt for a girl to those sort of things. it makes you look trashy” im SO sick of this sexist bullshit. i can do whatever a man can.

5 11 2008
Clo

Janey, you should make him listen to “like a boy” by Ciara. Point blank, if it makes you look trashy, it makes HIM look trashy. Double standards are bullshit.

5 11 2008
Janelyse829

yes they are.
funny thing you said tht.
he LOVES that song.

5 11 2008
Witchypoo

How’s it going, Ladies? Yes! We finally got our home computer back today. Cloey…I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s suicide; I know how hard it is to hear that kind of news…also, confusing. I don’t know if you remember me talking about a close friend of mine who had trouble with depression, and a lack of confidence regarding women? I’d mentioned that he was deserted by his mother at a young age when she left his dad for a family friend and moved to Germany. Anyway, I really loved Kurt, (platonically)…and he was such a good, kind friend to me, and our other close friend, Keri. Well, there was a period of time when he started pulling away and acting strange…and our friendship was strained with tension and misunderstanding; we always remained close, though. He killed himself during an “off” time…when Keri and I were kind of on the outs with him; we just couldn’t figure out what was going on with him, and he wouldn’t talk. It was bad…and we felt like shit for being hard on him, getting pissed when he wouldn’t talk to us, etc. At the funeral, his mother flew in from Germany, and she kept crying, asking us if we thought it was her fault. Of course, we told the poor woman that it wasn’t. However, even though I know that suicide isn’t anyone else’s “fault”…nobody can control the actions of someone else…still, I couldn’t help but feel that what she did so early in his childhood helped to contribute to some of his emotional problems with women. That’s probably not completely fair of me, I know. I was somewhat biased because I knew, and sensed, how much that event had affected Kurt when he was so little. I do know that he had depression issues; he probably needed to be on medication or something – so there was a lot of factors playing into that tragic ending. Usually, it’s more than one issue contributing to such drastic action. Drug use in some people, though, is like a match to gasoline…some people just don’t have the brain chemistry to tolerate drug use without major repercussions. Addictive personalties in general have a harder path to follow in Life; there’s just so many substances/habits with the potential for trouble to a person who’s got that kind of a makeup. A person’s early experiences also contribute to how he/she deals with stress/adversity/temptations. I feel for your sister; you’re left wondering so many things. Please let us know how things are going for you, your sister, and your husband, Cloey.

Lara, that’s great about your daughter’s cheer team taking first! I remember performing in parades…it was so much fun. Was your daughter pretty excited about winning?

Janey…don’t go getting yourself into trouble over some girl who’s running her big mouth off, Sweetie. Usually, people like that are just looking for a reaction from you; don’t give her the satisfaction. Besides, you don’t need to go getting yourself all bloodied up, now do you? Also, Lara is right: if you’re 18 and she’s under that age…you can get yourself in A LOT of legal trouble if things go wrong. There’s my lecture for the night, Sweetie. Btw…yeah, Ezi shouldn’t be out doing anything he thinks YOU shouldn’t be doing – including “getting trashed with his friends”. Why do males think there’s 2 sets of rules: 1 for us, and 1 for them? It’s more than annoying. Idiots…where do they get these ridiculous ideas?

Gabber…your puppy sounds adorable and hilarious; it’s nice to have a good laugh, isn’t it? Were you able to get any pictures? When we first moved into our house, we got a really special kitten that we named Maddie; she was an adorable little Balinese. Anyway, Maddie was always getting into something…we have some pictures of her getting her head stuck in my water glass, trying to yank herself out of it. The glass was so heavy on her little head, she kept heaving it from side to side…it couldn’t have been more perfect.

Goldie…are you out there? Everything ok? Say, “Hi” when you feel like it, Sunshine. Btw…that’s GREAT about your salary/bonus projection; nice resolution to a stressful bit of wondering on your part, (about the whole job situation, I mean), hugh? Congratulations, Sweetie.

Nightie-night, Ladies…take care.

5 11 2008
lara21167

Janey it is hard to believe boys today still have that stupid double standard about drinking and smoking. Didn’t you say boys are dumb??

5 11 2008
lara21167

New point of discussion: Young boys and girls and sex. My husband has a friend with teenage girls and he told Joe that boys are telling girls 12 – 13 years old that in order to be their girlfriend they have to blow them. As a mother of an 11 year old girl I’m appalled. So I had a little discussion with my daughter about this. She’s not into boys yet, or so she says but I told her that if a boy wants her to do something she is not comfortable with in order to be his girlfriend to tell him “screw you” I told her she needs to make her boyfriends do what she wants not the other way around. I just don’t know what is wrong with boys today thinking they can just make demands like that. And what is wrong with the girls allowing it. There is nothing wrong with sex (when they are old enough and I should talk I had my first sexual encounter when I was 14) as long as it is respectful, if you know what I mean. I don’t expect teenagers to be in “love” before having sex but they must respect each other and telling a girl she has to give a BJ to be his girlfriend is not respectful it is down right degrading. What is everyone’s take on this?

5 11 2008
Clo

Witchy- Thanks so much. I’m OK with it all… I mean, not OK, but… OK, if that makes any sense. I figured Gus would die young, I just figured it would be of an overdoes, rather than a suicide, but almost the same thing, right? I think my sister was in shock the first couple days, but she went to a mass for him last night, and she finally cried, which was good for her. She didn’t want anyone else going with her, but my Mom snuck in the back of the church to make sure she was OK. However, she was busted when her cell phone went off, lol. It’s just sad to me… Mom said the preacher told a very sad story about Gus, and how once during mass he (the preacher) was doing a blessing for the sick… And Gus got in line to be blessed. And the preacher wondered if Gus knew that it was a blessing for the sick and if he should have explained it better… And then he realized that Gus knew what he was doing, that he was a sick boy, and all he wanted was to get better. Which just breaks my heart, cause I think that’s why he did it. Because he didn’t think he’d ever get better. I personally remember what it’s like to feel that hopeless, and it’s such a scary and sad feeling….

I got my surgery scheduled. It’ll be on the 24th, so hopefully I won’t be in the hospital for thanksgiving. If they can do it laproscopically (sp?) then I won’t be. So let’s hope for that. I’m glad to be getting the last of this over with. The tape they use in the hospital seems to stick to me forever (plus it usually causes an allergic reaction/skin annoyance) and it seems I just got the tape off from my c-section and now I’m trying to scrub off the tape residue from the procedure on Monday…

I hope all is well, and Lara, I did forget to congratulate your daughters team for taking first!

5 11 2008
Gabberjazz

Clo:
this might sound odd but to get that tape off use butter. It works real well lol.
Witchy:
Yes I have lots of pictures of Ginger and the pumpkin. But now I think she has it in her head if she keeps putting her head in the pumpkin she will get us to laugh at her. Unless she’s just a stupid dog 🙂 I have 2 cats and they always are up to no good. They like to bring underware out of the bedroom ,socks in my bed and most of all get the poor dog going. I know they say pitbulls are supposed to be big and mean but if you could see her cornered by 2 cats it a funny sight lol.

Lara:
I can’t believe that about the young guys wow.. Ithink that schools should have assembles about the peer pressures that come with sex and what truely happens… I am it only takes once to get preggo as both of my girls came from that. I think alot of parents are noo sex is bad you can’t have sex but I truely believe that if they want to have sex they will find away to. I am very open with my children about sex (age appori) I want my girls to be able to come and talk to me about it and when they feel like they are having the urge to explore it then we can go and get them protected. Not that I will be like well your 12 and I think its ok and i am giving my approval of you sleeping with boys but I know you will and we are going to do everything we can to prevent having an unwanted baby.

To all ladies:
I need some advice:
just a bit of back ground before I ask the question:
I was 22 when I got preggers with my first child we knew eachother 18 days well I was made to marry him 6 months later due to family reasons… our marriage well was not good. All birthdays, christmas, any holidays that were about me I wouldn’t even get a happy birthday or a gift.. I sat and watched everyone at christmas openeing their gifts. anyways I always made sure he had something… the last 4 years of our marriage I was ignored emotionally, mentally. anyways…
I found him and his co worker in our bed. so I left them there went to the court house filed for custody of my girls put our house on the market, moved his belongings into the basement and pulled our bed into the back yard and set it on fire….. ya I know I am a bitch lol Our house sold in 2 weeks thank god.

I had my rebound and the guy and I stayed friends. He got a girlfriend and I didn’t get a boyfriend. Then Ryan and I got together and well ya he is no longer here. So I finally found someone that I could be with and things were going well.. Untill Mr’ Rebound man thinks that because he misses the sex that we should cheat on our partners. I right out said no and stuck to it as he tried to talk me into it… I thought I should be open with my guy about this all I told him about the emails and what I did about it all. He said he didn’t understand why he would do this.( this was the night before Halloween)
well my guy had to go away fro work for the weekend and when he came back we texted eachother on the monday. he seemed off I asked if he wanted to come over and he said not tonight I then replied fine (didn’t mean anything by it ) then I said should I be worried about something and Ihaven’t gotten a response from him I have text 2 more time and nothing.
In my marriage I was ignored and Ithink that is what is killing me about this. but he doesn’t know what my marriage was like and what this man did to me. what do you think I should do about this all?

5 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hey there, Ladies…how’s it going? Lara, your subject change to kids and sex is timely; my middle son is only 12, and he’s on his 4th or 5th girlfriend. Though, at this age, “going out” means holding hands, walking in the school halls together, dancing and hanging out with each other at the school dances, etc. Oh, yeah…the frequent texting/phone calls, also. Anyway, one thing I’ve noticed with my guy is that he seems to attract fairly aggressive and/or outgoing girls. He’s a little gentleman, and almost old-fashioned in his approach to females…I guess “courtly” would be the very outdated term to describe him. While I KNOW there are many boys who operate under the misguided, hurtful mindset that girls are here to serve their “needs”, there are many young men who don’t think that way at all. Sometimes, it’s the girl who’s manipulative and controlling…possibly destructive, even, in these interactions. I don’t want my son meeting up with a young woman who’s primary aim is to lead him around by the nose. I always tell him to treat the girls he likes kindly and respectfully – but not to allow himself to be manipulated in any way. This kind of negative behavior can go both ways. My older son is a bit more…aloof? shielded? guarded?…I’m not sure of the way to describe Beau, as opposed to Chance. Beau, (my 9th grade spawn), is more self-directed so far; it would be harder for a female to dominate him. He’s also had a few girlfriends…but I can tell that so far, no one person has really bowled him over; he’s definitely selective, (but not “stuck-up” – just very individual in his tastes, like me). I have a feeling though, that when he eventually falls, he’ll fall completely and passionately. Until then, I think it will be a little hard for a girl to completely reach him. Chance is a little more easy-going…more eager to please, in general. I just hope he doesn’t get snagged by some “man-eating” female one day who wants someone to run. I think most parents worry about how their children will be treated in a love/romance situation – regardless of gender. I know that with every girlfriend each of them has had…it was the girl who made the first move to initiate the “relationship”, not my guys. There are some pretty forward little girls around our area; not that it’s wrong for a girl to approach a guy. I was just a little surprised at first when this started happening…I always just let the guys approach me when I was single, (easier that way, for one thing). I just want my guys to set a pattern of being attracted to/involved with nice, straight-forward, well-meaning girls who treat them with the same respect that I know their parents want for them. I had a few really great girlfriends who made a great friend to their FEMALE pals, like me…but I wouldn’t have wanted to be one of their boyfriends. I had firsthand knowledge of how these girls “played” them – sometimes it was a little strange being a confidant of a girl who wasn’t so nice to the guys she went out with; my conscious would nag at me. Anyhoo…all parents worry about these things, you know?

Cloey…the image of your mother sneaking into the back of the church to check on your sister’s well-being is bittersweet; your sister is lucky to have a mother who cares enough about her, unselfishly, to do that. I hope you are all ok, Sweetie.

Still no Goldie…I hope you’re doing ok – or better than ok, Sunshine.

Janey, are things better with Ezi? I hope you aren’t busy getting yourself into trouble. Can you tell I’m a mommie?

Take care Ladies.

5 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hmmm…Gabber, without knowing the personality/habits of your guy, it’s kind of hard to state an opinion. However, if a guy was not responding to my overtures, regardless of how good things were up until that point…I’d just lay in on the line one time: either respond to me now and let me know what’s going on, or I’ll take that as your answer…something to that effect. I don’t think it’s right for either person to leave the other hanging. I don’t like being manipulated, so my view comes from that standpoint. Don’t let yourself get jerked around – that’s the only way to have an equitable and satisfying relationship with any guy.

Take care.

5 11 2008
MonkeySpeaks

hey guys. Im followin you guys but things have been CRAZY busy. Closing projects, realizing I don’t have the money for my move and need to find a way to make 2-3K in a month.

Emotional rollercoaster stuff. Just lots going on. I wanted to post smoething today. I’ll try in a little bit.

5 11 2008
Llara21167

Witchy great viewpoint. My son would never let a girl lead him around. And at the same time would never disrespect a girl. That’s just him so I don’t worry about him as much. But again mutual respect is a must.

Gabber an open relationship with the spawn is also so important. And I think the thing with the BJ’s is you can’t get pregnant that way. But something they probably aren’t considering is disease will still spread. Brings us back to mutual respect and discussions on safe sex before doing the deed. Ok Gabber about your guy, to me from what you’ve said I would think for some reason he thinks you and this other guy may have hooked up while he was away. Would someone have told him this for any reason? I would just do like Witchy said and lay it out there. Ask him once and for all what is going on. If someone did start some horrible rumor you’ll have a chance to disspell (is that the word I want) the rumor.

5 11 2008
Janelyse829

Lara-i had my first boyfriend when i was 13. and he was an asshole. i remeber going to school one day and everyone i knew looking at me weird. and then i saw him walking towards me and holding hands with the girl i had just gotten in a fight with. he broke up with me in the lunchroom in front of all the 8th graders and told me it was because i wouldnt have sex with him and that girl already had. i was “like are you serious? im 13 im not your personal whore.” anyways i met Ezi the year after that and we’ve been together ever since. i lost my virginity to him 3 weeks before i turned 17. i waited until ifelt ready and i knew that that wasnt the only thing he wanted from me. thats why im such a bitch to guys. [is it normal that i’ve only had 2 boyfriends?] i mean it would hve been soooo messed up if he’d dtayed with me for three years had sex with me and then left me.

witchy- i went to my cousins school today but i couldnt find Hallie. we were supposed to “fight” yesturday after she got out of school but i was busy and today she was no where to be found. she’s 17. but no one told her to run her mouth…like i said. i dont get mad; i get even =]

to answer your other question, we’re actually “taking a break” which means that u give it a week or so before we officially break up for good.

6 11 2008
Janelyse829

so im reading this book called ‘Burned’ and the damn thing keeps making me cry. im going to have to either stop reading it or get through it as fast as humaly possible.

6 11 2008
Clo

Lara- I lost my virginity when I was 15, and I totally wasn’t ready. I thought it would be no big deal, but it really hit me harder than I thought, emotionally. I plan to be super honest with all my kids about it, and let them know that they shouldn’t do it just to get it over with. But, I also plan on being like Gabber. If they decide they want to do it, I want them to be able to come to me, so we can get them some protection.

Witchy- I worry about Cayden when he gets older… I know how to talk to a girl about dating, cause… Well, I am a girl, lol. But I dunno how to strike a balance between treating a girl right, but also not getting walked on or being a push over, you know? And my sister seemed OK when I went over there tonight, so hopefully she really is. We’re a really close family but we don’t really talk about our feelings and stuff like that. It’s weird.

Gabber- I don’t really understand your situation, I think my brain is fuzzy from the pain medication I’m on. I think I get it, are you worried that your new guy is ignoring you like your old guy did? If so, I understand what that’s like… It’s hard to behaviors that you’ve witnessed before from someone that screwed you over… But… You also can’t let someone who hurt you before affect your relationship now. My advice is to talk to him about it, and let him know where you’re coming from. Say something like it’s OK if you need space, but understand that I had an ex that ignored me and it makes me nervous.

Janey- Did I miss something? Why are you and Ezi on a break? And what’s burned about? I miss reading so….

6 11 2008
Janelyse829

Clo-he wants me to stop smoking. so he was like your gonna die prematurely and that really bad for you and i hate the way it makes your hands smell blah blah blah i want you to stop. so i tried i went like a week. but i couldnt deal with al the stress and i started again so now he’s being a bitch about it and told me that he didnt want to be around me until i stopped. and me being the stubborn bitch that i am i said eff you, your NOT my dad i’ll do whatever the hell i want. so he left and i hevent seen him since the day b4 halloween. you would think that if he wanted me to stop he would try to make it easier on me. not give me more stress so that i would WANT to do it more.

anyway, Burned. its about a 16 year old girl whose family is EXTREMELY religious and demand that she act according to whatever they think God wants for her. but her dad is an alcoholic who comes home every night drunk and beats their mother. she has 6 little sisters that SHE has to take care of while her mom sit on her ass. but then the girl starts shall we say “experimenting” with drugs and alcohol. her dad send her away to her aunts house where she meets this guy and falls in love and she’s debating whether to sleep with him or not because she thinks God will condemn her if she does. she strats questioning what her role in life, as a woman is and she refuses to live by there rules enforced by her religion.

it just mkes me sad when i red about how the dad beats her mom and sometimes her little sister and everyone sees that she’s clearly crying out for help yet no one will help her.

6 11 2008
Janelyse829

thats supposed to say eperimenting with BOYS and alcohol

6 11 2008
Janelyse829

okay finished the book last night. that damn thing made me cry. but i didnt really understand the ending. i know someone dies but i dont if she killed her dad or herself. its kinda confusing cause the book is written in poetry form.

so i have a theory. Ezi WANTS to break up but he cant just come right out and say it so he’s pissing me off hoping i’ll leave him instead. i mean first the girl then this retarted thing about not talkin to me for smoking. and this moring i wake up to this text message from Michelle [the girl tht wouldnt leave us alone]: i guess you didnt tighten the reins on your man as tight as you thought. you might want to tell him to stop calling me or you just might lose him.
WTF??

6 11 2008
lara21167

Witchy with my son I don’t worry because he is not the type to let a girl lead him around by the nose. And he is very respectful to girls (don’t know what I did right to get him that way lol) If I take him shopping with me, he’ll open doors for me and take my bags and carry them. Such a young gentleman.

Gabber – It sounds to me like someone may have started an ugly rumor about you and rebound guy?? Is that maybe what you are thinking? Anyhoo as witchy and Cloey have said just ask straight out what his prob is and let him know you don’t like being ignored.

Rowdy – Hang in there things always have a way of working out. Keep positive.

Cloey – I do my reading on the toilet, it’s the only place I get any peace haha

Janey – our little fighter haha. You remind me of my niece, not the preggo one my hubby’s niece. She’s a fiesty, don’t take no shit, kind of girl too. Good to be that way though. I’ve always been a doormat and am really just learning how to take up for myself and set boundries. Ezi, well you may be right, if he wants you to quit smoking for your own good, he should be more supportive not it’s his way or the highway attitude, expecially since you’ve been together long enough that he should know you won’t stand for that. Then that girl seems to be back in the picture? I don’t know Janey, maybe you should tell him you both need to talk and let him know that you want him to be completely honest with you about his feelings and if he is having any doubts. And no it’s not weird that you’ve only had 2 boyfriends. But just remember you are young you don’t have to put all your eggs into one basket.

6 11 2008
Witchypoo

Good morning, Ladies…how’s it going? Hey, Janey…you know, if he’s back to encouraging contact with this other girl again, I’d take that as a clear sign that either: a) he’s wants to play the field, b) he’s angry that you’re not doing what he wants, (whatever that is), c) the other girl is making it very convenient for him to play games, or d) all of the above. I have a feeling that it’s the latter possibility…kind of a “perfect storm” of various factors all pointing to you and Ezi having issues. I think once someone else enters the picture, the whole dynamic of a relationship changes; it’s pretty hard to keep things good between you and your guy when he’s only partially committed. Also, this Michelle seems VERY confident that she’s going to wind up with Ezi; he must be telling her something to put that idea into her head, (unless she’s just a fixated weirdo). I just have to scratch my head in bewilderment at women who fight so diligently for some guy’s attentions: if you have to struggle THAT much, then the relationship probably isn’t going to succeed, anyway; a guy who puts you through so much isn’t worth that kind of trouble, you know? Yes, Sweetie…I have to agree: Ezi is probably trying to prod you into ending things with all these little traumas he keeps throwing in between the two of you. Sometimes, guys can be kind of cowardly about serious relationship issues – even down to ending things; they want us to do all the dirty work and shoulder all the responsibility for how things turn out. I guess you just have to decide how much of a positive you’re actually getting out of struggling with this guy, (though, I know you’ve been with him for a long time, and been through some emotional events with him – like the pregnancy and miscarriage). All that is probably making you hesitate to decide that enough is enough. Also, if there has been a lot of affection and love between the two of you in the past…it’s hard to let that go – especially if he’s giving you mixed signals. Sometimes, letting things wind down gradually isn’t as traumatic as ending them abruptly. Is there anyone that you’re a little interested in, (or could be interested in)? I ask because it might be a good distraction for you to get out and be with other people, (guys, specifically)…just to see that Ezi isn’t the only male in the world that you could be close with. No, I don’t mean sleeping around or getting heavily involved right away – just seeing firsthand that there are SO MANY options out there. You’re so young, Janey…maybe you just need to have a little fun for awhile, instead of all this serious crap, you know?

Yeah, I love to read, also…but I don’t usually like really depressing, dismal books; I usually like lighter, amusing reading, or semi-fantasy. It’s easier for me to switch gears with lighter fare when I’m done.

Cloey, something tells me that you don’t have anything to worry about regarding talks with Cayden when he’s older. With your fair, balenced outlook, you’ll be able to communicate effectively with him about all those touchy subjects, (like girls, sex, etc.). He’ll probably find it easy to talk to you about most subjects. Besides, 2 air signs?…no problem, in most circumstances; air signs are usually good communicators. There will probably be a really easy rapport between the two of you. Aquarius is a sign that normally can keep discussions rational…with a minimum of distracting emotion clouding the issues. This supposedly, “daffy, weird” sign is surprisingly practical regarding most matters…keeping a cool head of reason is natural to you, in most circumstances, (generally speaking).

Hmmm…Lara, your gentlemanly Lion sounds very sweet; some lucky girl will benefit from his considerate nature someday. Isn’t it bittersweet to watch your little man grow up? Do you and your daughter have a close connection? I feel really comfortable with all my guys…but being the only female in a house full of guys can make me feel a little misunderstood, once in awhile, you know? There are times when a little sister would really come in handy, hahaha.

Goldie…I hope your day is manageable for you – not too hectic. Sometimes it gets exhausting when you’re insanely busy, with too many demands on your time. Try to take it easy on yourself, Sweetie.

Anyhoo, Girls…have a great day and take care.

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