I reckon it’s again my turn, to win some or learn some

6 11 2008

(title quote from Jason Mraz’s song I’m Yours)

I am trying to figure out what to write – and perhaps appropriate to my new position in LA what images to use to express myself today. I know, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I guess I have the mentality where if I am not in the mood to post then I know it won’t come out very good. Of course, how exciting can it be when I am basically just spitting out nonsense about my life. Whether it is relevant to anything or not.

They say the sign of a good blog is expertise. Write what you know. Huge cliché, but true. So far this blog has not taken any definitive angle. Part of me wishes I could focus on one thing, but that wouldn’t necessarily be true to me. I don’t have ADD but I’m also so enamored with so many different things that it is hard for me to stay focused on one thing at a time. I get a great idea, get excited about it, and if I don’t act immediately – or have a REAL deadline to completely a project – it dies out. The only hobby, beside reading and writing, that I have stuck to has been playing guitar. And while I’ve been playing since I was 13 (about 12 years now) I still never got so deep into it that I became very good. Sure, I can strum a few chords and keep a better beat than someone who doesn’t play, but it’s still painfully clear I am novice. I’m not getting down on myself. At all. Im actually pretty hyped up on coffee right now, and they say a warm cup of coffee actually warms the soul.

Warm your hands around a cup of coffee, and warm your heart too

See, I am already off on a tangent. Not that this had any direction to it yet, but my mentality is much like my writing style: all over the place.

I do want to delve on one thing that I have ultimately shied away from so far – for fear of insulting someone or finding myself insulted. But I can’t really NOT express my deep emotions because we as a generation, both young and old, find ourselves in the middle of a truly historic moment. Whether you voted for him or not, an individual has taken office when so many before him told him there would be no future for those ideals and goals. If this goes into further discussion I do ask that everyone be completely respectful of each others points of view, however regardless of your initial reaction to him, Barack Obama is now our president and I hope that all of America can move past the partisan divide to working toward the greater good. Building a cabinet of extremely qualified individuals (Colin Powell, Robert Kenedy Jr., etc) there is a man in office that will hopefully come through on his promises to a better future for us and our children (or in my case my dog).

who says you cant have a sense of humor about it all

who says you can't have a sense of humor about it all

What hurt me the most in this election was how divided the country became. Racism became more prominent than I am used to seeing in my life time, and in the SAME breath, racial barriers were knocked down. When I am not patrolling my own blog or tolling around Cosmo, you can find me on www.current.com. A (admittedly liberal) website that is created by everyday people, posting interesting articles from celebrity sightings to scientific discoveries to current affairs and politics. It’s a group of people, not unlike us here, who come together for mature discussions on the issues of the day. It got me through this election and I will admit I lost plenty of working hours absorbed in the content of the site. Check it out. You can find me on there under the identity GatorMonkey.

Onto less intense topics, I have decided my next tattoo. I have decided when

D

I move to LA, to symbolize my transition, I will get my second tattoo.
Originally I just wanted to embellish the small one I have. The Sanskrit symbol for Hamsa (हंस = I view the meaning to be self acceptance but it’s a very heavily loaded term).

The tattoo will be somewhat similar to this. The flower slightly different but this is the basic idea. I prefer just the flower, not the leaves or the smoke.

The new tattoo will be a symbol of new starts. Purity and beauty. I only have “ideas” to show but the basic one will a lotus flower opening up into the Sanskrit symbol for “monkey” ( हरि – hari). The symbol also stands for Purity (much as my Hamsa, which is also the symbol for swan). The lotus will symbolize creation and beauty. I am very excited about this idea. Instinct hit. As of right now I plan on putting this on my side above my left hip bone. Painful spot, but I think worth the aesthetic properties.

The odd thing about tattoos, and if you have one you may have experienced this too, is the sensation was closer to a tickle than anything else at the start. The end, filling in the gaps and going back over, is where it hurt me. The irritation. I’ve heard people describe it a million different ways. SO FAR to me, the best way I can think about it is holding your hand over an open flame for as long as you can stand to and pulling back when it starts to really burn. When you put your hand over the fire a second time the sting comes quickly and its an irritating burn,  but the minute you pull back again the irritation is gone. I also view the experience as very sensual and intimate. Your body has become a canvas for not just your own, but the artists, self expression (thus the intimacy). Believe it or not, I am afraid of needles, but I am looking forward to the experience again.

What are your views on body decoration? As individuals and as parents. It took my mom a year of not believing I would have the guts, to saying I can’t believe you are doing this, to being indifferent. She thinks it’s cute. My grandparents used to tell me I would break their heart if I got one. I didn’t want to tell them but my brother squealed on me. By the time they saw it my grandfather kept making me lift my shirt so he could see it and even joked about getting my grandmother one.

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87 responses

6 11 2008
Gabberjazz

Rowdy:
I could not have explained the feeling of getting a tattoo any better than you just did there. I have 6 of them and I want one more to complete them.
I really hope the move to LA is the best one for you and I hope it help you to explore who you are… How are things with BOO?

6 11 2008
Witchypoo

Goldie…why can’t I click on the picture you have marked with an “x” depicting your current tatoo? Is it just me…or are any of you also having trouble?

Btw…you don’t have to feel like your posts need to be “artsy”, or full of significant meaning or knowledge; if you’re not in the mood to post, just comment, instead, (like you did on the Hottie site). Sometimes expending so much effort and concentration is just…too much to expect, you know?

Also, how’s it going with you and your guy, (or, does it “go” at all)?

Take care.

6 11 2008
Witchypoo

Oh, yeah…views on body decoration: I don’t have any feelings one way or the other. I think people should just do whatever they feel like, (pretty generic answer, hugh?). I don’t have any tatoos; I guess I just assume that I’ll get tired of looking at the same thing on my body over time…maybe regretting my choice or whatever. I think your idea for your’s is great, though. It has real significance, and will be totally individual…nice.

6 11 2008
lara21167

I’ll be the first to dare to address Rowdy’s first topic in her post… I never really thought of the racial issues or sex issues for that matter with this election. It really didn’t even occur to me the significance of this vote until after it was over. Now I can really realize how far we have come as a Country and I am proud of our Country and what I really am impressed by is the world’s reaction to our choice in a president. All over the world people were celabrating our choice when’s the last time that has happened?. BTW if anyones interested, on Cosmo’s site on the home page they have a little thing about Barack and where we think he can take us as women. I commented a somewhat intellegent (I think) comment then read some of the others. They have a huge cat fight going on mostly regarding abortion. I didn’t read them all too stupid, but if your bored…

Tatoos – I don’t have any but they are fine if meaningful as Rowdy has stated.

And no Witchy I can’t see the pic either.

6 11 2008
monkeyspeaks

Hey guys. I tried to fix the picture. Let me know if this works. I think it wasn’t because I had used the location link from a private source (my email) so you have to be signed in to see it.

Things with the guy are… whatever they are. I’ve taken myself out of it as much as I can emotionally and am trying to figure out the more important stresses of life right now – namely – HOW am I going to afford this move!

I will say though the past two days have been refreshing. We haven’t fought (yet lol) and when he DOES try and start something I kind of just ignore it. Example, if he says “dis sacks” then I say, hey, whatever you think – you’re the expert. Then the next thing you know hes sweet talking me like the old days. Or talking to me like life is how it was. Like there aren’t problems. So Witchy, just trying to take all of your advice and give him his space to figure things out on his own without my influence.

Janey – talk to him. completely uncool what he is doing to you. i know the guy wants me to get into better shape, but instead of getting on my case about it too much we talk about working out TOGETHER because he could be in better shape himself. We look at it as an opportunity to bond.. at least that is HOW we looked at it… we do still talk about it now and then… like last night I mentioned bringing my running shoes when I go visit in a month so we can go for a walk or run and I’ll be going hiking with another friend out there. (Uh, oh yea… lol…. i should mention… as of right NOW, i’ll be staying with him when I go apartment hunting… BUT in an effort to maintain our space I will be renting a car for the week and doing my own thing on the occassion… like when he has an event on Saturday I’ll be in Huntington Beach with my cousin). He also wants me to smoke less… yea he wants me to quit… but he smokes too so he can’t be as adamant about it… but instead of being a jerk about THAT… we talk about quitting together. Its a bit different since he understands what I will be going through – but I dunno. Even if the tough times, the real him shines through.

You know what I said when he told me he wanted to think about seeing other people? Go for it. Whatever you need to do to make you happy. To my knowledge he has no intention. Cause I still am the one he calls when he wakes up and before bed. All it means to me is maybe he wants to work on our FRIENDSHIP as much as I do.

You’ve been with your guy for a long time and you were REALLY young when you got together. If he is going to play games, tell him to play on his own. I know, i can barely take my own advice, but that is what he is doing. Playing GAMES and you don’t deserve that. Honestly, I say call him up and tell him he can either be 100% honest with you or you’ll do it for him and he can go off and do his own thing while you do yours. Two boyfriends isn’t weird but Lara (I think?) said it well – you’re not even 20 yet. To be honest girl, marriage should be the farthest thing from your mind at that age. Find a guy who will like you, smokes or not, and who damn sure will respect your independence. You are too fiery to be wiht someone who needs a submissive girl. I think it’s why he is talking to that Michelle girl. He likes the attention, and god forbid an independent woman sit there and say, boy, im not chasing you.

To be honest… when you have your fill… and only you can say when… it may be good for you to be off on your own, explore other options. And not be with someone who is going to play games.

CLO – how are you holding up? the surgeries and deaths must be taking so much out of you. btw, thanks for bein an open ear when i’ve needed it. (to all the rest of you as well).

6 11 2008
lara21167

Picture’s there now.

6 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hey, yeaaaaaaah…there’s the damn picture! Whew. You have to understand, I’m a technology moron, (I think I’ve mentioned that before)…I get impatient when I can’t get my computer to do what I want, (especially when it seems like I’m the only one in the universe like that…everyone else has no problem). I start to get a Twilight Zone kind of sense of isolation- imaginary, I know – but I have quite a vivid sense of imagination, anyway.

Hey, Janey…I commented on your guy situation on the last post, ‘The Waiting Game’, (it’s pretty similar to what Goldie said, as a matter of fact).

Btw, Goldie…hot bod, there, Sparky..woo-hoo! I’m sure if you want it again…you’ll have it, Sunshine.

Take care.

P.S….I’ll bet you telling him to do whatever he needs to in order to be happy had him scratching his head…snicker-snicker. Why don’t you exercise your option to partake in appealing male company, Goldie? (Or, are you just not interested right now? Sometimes it’s just not the right time or place for that, I know).

6 11 2008
Witchypoo

Oh, yeah…I talked to pretty much ALL of you on the last post, btw.

Take care.

6 11 2008
Clo

Sorrrrry guys, the internet was out today. Drove me crazy, but it is kinda funny cause I managed to get some housework done…. So I guess it’s not all the baby’s fault, eh?

The election… I’m so over it. Which sucks, because I was SO excited for him, but there’s just so much freaking drama… People are just so ANGRY… Like two of my friends aren’t talking to each other. One voted for McCain, the other was for Obama… Well, the Obama supporters boyfriend messaged the McCain supporter on Myspace and called her an ignorant racist cause her status said something like “he won, God help us” (which, I don’t agree with, but I mean, that’s how I felt when Bush won, so I mean, I don’t blame anyone for being disappointed, especially when the candidate they supported lost. It’s a scary time for us all now, and I don’t know if Obama can pull us out. But, I voted for him cause I felt like he was the only one offering any different solutions… In the words of Tupac “you see, the old way wasn’t working for us.”) anyway, I digress… So she messaged me and told me about it, cause earlier that night we had been discussing the election and how she was fed up with it, so I figured she was just venting. And, it upset me too. I mean the Obama supporter is my best friend, my sister from another mister… But sometimes I cannot STAND her boyfriend. He’s black and it’s like any time someone disagrees with him, they’re a racist. Like one time he got into a fight with my friend and IMed me talking stuff about her, and when I told him he was acting like a jackass he called me a “white trash racist bitch” and I’m just like… You calling me white trash is being racist, so now you’re being a hypocrite, and fyi, you’d be a jackass if you were white, black, asian, mexican, or red with black spots.

So, yeah I digressed again. To make a long story short, my Obama supporter friend felt like the McCain supporter went behind her back and she had no reason to tell me about what her boyfriend said (which, like I said, we had been talking about it earlier, so I felt like she was just venting.) And the Obama supporter friend is going off on the McCain supporter, calling her an idiot and saying she just voted McCain cause her husband did… And I’m just like… So what? Everyone is entitled to their vote, and they can use it any way that they want. The same thing could be said about her (that she only supported Obama cause of her boyfriend)

Anyway, it’s just old to me. Which sucks because I wanted to be excited. I mean it’s a huge step, and I feel like we’re really going to make a change, yet all this bickering is ruining it. Yes, I do think some people voted for McCain cause Obama was black, and I feel sad for them. But, people also voted for Obama just because of McCain’s age, which is discrimination as well. I dunno. I hope we can get over this and work together, cause if we can’t, we’re so screwed.

Tattoo’s…. I like them, as long as they have a meaning. I look at some people who have something dumb on them, and I’m just like, man you’re going to regret that when you’re 90. But, if Cayden was a reasonable age and he came to me with an idea for a tattoo and it meant something? I’d let him get it. I want more tattoos, and I know what I want, but I don’t know where to put them. I want them to be hidden in case I get a job that doesn’t allow them, but I’m also too fat, so it would be dumb for me to get it on like, my stomach. I really want one across my wrists, but I don’t want to have to wear long sleeves if I work in a place that doesn’t allow them.

Rowdy- The death hasn’t affected me too much. I mean, it’s a sad, sad situation, but I mean… I kinda forget that he’s dead, because since he and Lizzie broke up I never saw him anyway, so most of them time I just forget about it. When I think about it, I get a little sad… I mean I always hoped that he’d get better and he and Liz would hook back up, cause I do think they loved each other but… I dunno. As for the surgeries, I’m just ready for this last one, and I’m hoping I don’t get stuck in the hospital, especially since that would prolly mean I’d be in the hospital on thanksgiving. I’m just so ready for it to be over and then I can stop thinking so much about what I can and can’t eat… I’m worried now cause I’m almost out of pain pills annnnnd I’m pretty much in constant pain. I can’t take them during the day anyway (they make me dizzy and I don’t want to be alone with Cayden while I’m on them), but they really help at night, I’m not sure I could sleep without them. But, we’ll see.

As for the listening thing, you guys all listen to me rant and rave. I adore you guys, it’s weird, but you’re all special to me in your own unique ways. Yeah, I know, that was totally cheesey.

Lara- I used to read on the toliet but then I’d be in there for hours. I really do miss books hardcore.

Janey- Sounds like a good book. I thought from the title that it might be another book I read once, the title was similar, but it was the diary of a kid who tried to kill himself by setting himself on fire, and his recovery afterwards. As for Ezi, you need to lay it flat for him. Don’t let him dick you around, and tell him if you smoking is that much of a deal breaker, he needs to break up with you. As for the chica, also lay it down for him there. Tell him either he quits talking to her, or you’ll find your own guy friends to occupy you while he’s busy blowing up her phone.

Gabber- Hows the situation with the guy?

Witchy- I need to look up stuff about Cayden signs. It’s funny, cause he looks so much like Jeremy (although I do think he def. has my lips and maybe has my nose. I need to send y’all the link to my photos so those of you who don’t have facebook/myspace can see them.) Anyway, but he acts JUST like me. He “talks” in his sleep and moans just like I do, and I call him bi-polar baby cause one minute he’s smiling and the next he’s crying… And he cries when he doesn’t get what he wants.

MT- Where you been hon?

I think I covered everything. Sorry for the book but I had to play catch up!

6 11 2008
Janelyse829

so its over. i gave [or threw] back the ring and told him to never call me again.

am i right though? if someone kisses you and you kiss them back whether you intended to or not, is it as wrong as it would have been if you’d kissed the other person?

he said that he wanted to talk so i go over to his house and him making out with Michelle! and ok, i totally saw her kiss him first but he kissed her back and thats just as bad. i kinda punched hin in the mouth and kicked him in the balls and i almost ran her over.

she was like “i told you he was going to be mine”
she can keep him. whats to say that if he did it to me he wont do it to her?
so i said ” you can keep him bitch. he’ll never find one like me” she asked if it was because i didnt know how to fight for what i wanted. but i said no its because im as good as it get and BTW i dont fight for someone who clearly doesnt want me.

6 11 2008
Gabberjazz

jane:
I am so sorry…. Yes it is still classed as cheating because he knew what he was doing and he can’t say he was confused about it plus what the hell was she doing there… was this planned to get you to dump him so he wouldn’t have to feel bad about it what an dult……

Clo:
my man situation well ya not so good, I left him an email teling him how being ignored makes me feel and why.. then I said that I want to be with him but if he doesn’t want me just to say it… still no response so ya time to move on I think I will just email him back and say I take the no response saying you don’t want me so lets just make a time to return eachothers shit and move on.
I can’t let this go on because it will affect my job and I have to be 100% aware of things not have something on my mind as one of us could get hurt or even killed so I have to move on.

I have to wear long sleves at work because I have my girls names and birthdates on my left forearm so I also tape my arm at work.

I can’t say much about the election as I am in Canada but here is what I heard that really stuck for me

Rosa sat down so Martin could walk, Martin walked so Barack could run, Barack is running so children can fly!!!!!!!

Have a good night Ladies

7 11 2008
monkeyspeaks

Gabber – I LOVE that quote!

Janey – Im sorry dude, hes a douche. I just read what he did. You were right. Standing up for yourself. Who cares what his intentions were, you don’t deserve that.

I do have to make one amendment to your comeback toward that slutty girl. I don’t agree with what you said. Why? Because it should be
“I don’t fight for anyone… they fight for me”

You deserve someone who is upfront and honest with you. Not playing kiddy games. No matter what age you are. I hate to tell you that they don’t really get better with age lol. Mine is in his 30s and he still acts like a brat.

BUT he did have one thing that I do agree with – He says all women are crazy, its just finding one whose amazing personality outweigh the crazy moments.

I’ll amend that to men. All men are childish jerks – its just about finding the one that treats you well and whose personality outweighs the hijinks.

7 11 2008
Janelyse829

Rowdy- thanks. he’s actually called me 7 times left me 4 voicemails and texted me 10 times.

actually i think its funny. appearantly after i left he told her to get out. she texted me again and was like: fine, you win bitch. you broke up and he still doesnt want me. wht’d you do? put a spell on his dick?

hahaha. stupid bitch. i answered her cause i couldnt resist. i said: no, no spell. all i did was love him.

7 11 2008
Clo

So this year we’re really broke, so I’m trying to get ideas to make people Christmas presents (so if you have any cute ideas, feel free to pass them on, but keep in mind that while I’m rather crafty, [once when my after school group read charolettes web, I made a paper mache pig pinata for them] I’m also usually short on time [newborn, 2 dogs, 4 cats, and a serious myspace/facebook obsession]) Anyway, so I remember reading this poem my mom kept in a scrapbook when we were younger… I liked it so much I took it out and lost it! I looked for it everywhere and couldn’t find it, soooo I posted on craigslist describing it, and two nice people found it and emailed it to me. I LOVED this poem, it’s cheesey but I still like it, and it fits my fam perfectly (there are 3 of us) so I plan on framing it with some pictures of us and Cayden for mom for Christmas. But, I thought since there were lots of moms on here you guys might enjoy as well, so here it is:

Dear First Born, Dear Middle Born, To my Baby,

Submitted by: Ellen Ann

Author: Unknown

Dear First Born
I’ve always loved you best because you were our first miracle. You were the genesis of a marriage and the fulfillment of young love. You sustained us through the hamburger years, the first apartment, our first mode of transportation (1955 Feet), and the seven-inch TV we paid on for 36 months. You were new, had unused grandparents, and enough clothes for a set of triplets. You were the original model for a mom and dad who were trying to work the bugs out. You got the strained lamb, the open safety pins and three-hour naps. You were the beginning!

Dear Middle Born
I’ve always loved you the best because you drew a tough spot in the family and it made you stronger for it. You cried less, had more patience, wore faded hand-me-downs, and never in your life did anything first. But it only made you more special. You were the one we relaxed with, who helped us realize a dog could kiss you and you wouldn’t get sick. You could cross a street by yourself long before you were old enough to get married. And you helped us understand the world wouldn’t collapse if you went to bed with dirty feet. You were the child of our busy, ambitious years. Without you, we never could have survived the job changes and the tedium and routineness that is marriage.

To My Baby
I’ve always loved you best because while endings are generally sad, you are such a joy!! You readily accepted the mild-stained bibs, the lower bunk, the cracked baseball bat, the baby book that had nothing written in it except a recipe for graham-cracker piecrust that someone had jammed between the pages. You are the one we held on to so tightly. You darken our hair, quicken our steps, squared our shoulders, restored our vision, and give us a sense of humor that security, maturity, and durability can’t provide. When your hairline takes on the shape of Lake Erie and your own children tower over you, you will still be our baby!

7 11 2008
gabberjazz

I love it:)

7 11 2008
Witchypoo

Cloey…I’m tired and shouldn’t be up reading or writing, but I just had to tell you how much I LOVE the sweet, poignant poem you shared with us. It fits my family perfectly…obviously because we have 3 babies, but also because it really embodies so accurately the emotions we have about our guys. I guess some things really are universal, in a sense. I was so touched by it I cried, (secretly, so nobody could see…hahaha; I don’t feel like being teased for being overly sentimental – my guys probably couldn’t resist the opportunity). I’m going to have that printed on something…so eloquent and true.

Janey…just a quick note to tell you what you probably already know: he’s regretting his stupidity…and this is just the beginning. Why is it that human nature, (specifically, MALE nature, but we’re all guilty of this at times), compells us to passionately, clearly appreciate who/what we have so much more after it’s gone…then while we still have the person/thing, (such as, a relationship)? So ironic…and so predictable. Kind of sad, when you think about it. It’s amazing ANY romances/relationships last at all…let alone thrive and grow.

Nightie-night, Ladies…and take care.

7 11 2008
lara21167

Cloey I loved that poem and it is sooo true. Your first born your always so careful about everything keep up the baby book and so on. You get a little less cautious with each child as you realize they won’t break after all. And regarding your friends, I don’t know why people get so worked up It is what it is. We have a right to vote how we want anonomously (SP) And your friends boyfriend is promoting rasism by claiming it against him every time someone doesn’t agree with him. He needs to get over himself. And for that matter your friend needs to take up for her friends.

Gabber – love that quote. Don’t know what is going on with men right now. Rowdy;s guy, yours, now Janey’s. Yes I think you should tell him just like you said.

Janey – I answered you on my space.

MT- How’s things with you? Your guy better be being a good boy lol

7 11 2008
lara21167

Oh and Cloey, you are not cheesy, I feel the same way. I think of all of you as friends even if we’ve never met face to face.

7 11 2008
Gabberjazz

Good morning Ladies

Well the male drama is over in my life(for now until the next one lol) I text him yesterday telling him that I guess the no response was a sign of him saying he didn’t want me and that please lets just make a time to exchange eachothers shit and that I wish him well in life…. well I got a text back finally… he said he would call around 9 pm……. 10pm came and no call so I text again.. night I am taking this as u will be here tomorrow after work to get ur stuff… no text back so I said 530 right. so its left at that what Rowdy said you shouldn’t fight for then they should fight for you well thats what he is going to have to do.

7 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hi, Girls…how’s it going? Hey, Gabberjazz, that’s a good philosophy, or “gameplan” about him having to fight for you. It’s a great start…but, if you want it to actually WORK – the way you want it to – you have to follow through. This means…no texting, (from you to him), no phone calls, no initiating contact of any kind. If he shows some signs of encouragement, don’t respond over-eagerly, either. See, these guys get it in their heads sometimes that women will just bend over and take it up the ass, (so to speak, and pardon my vulgarity, please); it’s as if they can act any old way…make you wonder…leave you hanging…feeling insecure and totally confused about where the relationship stands…then come back to open arms when they realize that they really do care, and miss you when you’re not in their life. The only way to PERMANENTLY set the relationship on the course you’re comfortable with, (and, this is assuming that he’s a good guy, and capable of a mature manner of interacting with you), is to hold fast NOW, and consistently…so he is positive that he can’t jerk you around. We tend to make it FAR to easy for them. Hope you don’t mind the unsolicited input, Gabber.

Take care.

7 11 2008
Witchypoo

Uhhh…p.s…I wasn’t making any kind of statement or opinion on any sort of specific sexual act in my last comment; they’re all good. It’s just a saying…you know? Thought I should throw that in there.

7 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hope your kids don’t read these comments.

7 11 2008
lara21167

Witchy you are funny 🙂

Gabber great advise from Witchy, let us know if he shows to exchange your stuff.

7 11 2008
Gabberjazz

Thanks witchy I totally agree with you!!!!

7 11 2008
lara21167

I’m having a great day at work (being sarcastic) My boss switched are phone service to some company that called with great savings. I hate switching phone companies always a problem. Anyhoo they are in the process of switching the service now or something and we have no long distance. My boss is freaking out. 🙂 And I got stuck telling her hubby we have no long distance. She always sticks me with things like that.

7 11 2008
Clo

Hiiiiiiiiiii ladies-

That’s all I really have to say. LoL. We had a little bit of a rough night last night. I think I mentioned Cayden’s a lot like me personality wise (which, is actually really scary to me, lol.) Well… he totally fights sleep. Which I do. Like the other night I was super tired (I had been up till 2 watching election stuff and dealing with the McCain Obama feud between friends) and the next day my husband took Cayden so I could go to bed, but then I ended up cleaning and cooking and doing all that jazz. And then even when we went up to bed I read to Cayden and stayed up and watched TV, even though I was totally exhausted. Anyway, so Cayden does that. He does this thing we call “Pirate eyeing” where he keeps one eye open and you just see it slowly droop cause he’s so tired… Anyway last night it was obvious that he was exhausted, but he wouldn’t sleep which just made him REALLY fussy so… We dealt with that. So I’m a little sleepy, but in a really good mood.

Back to McCain-Obama feud… My friend Brook is the Obama supporter, and she’s my best friend. She was engaged to my brother for awhile, we lived together, she’s like my other half. Amanda is the McCain supporter and Brook introduced me to her via myspace when I got pregnant, cause Amanda just had her baby and could answer a lot of my pregnancy/baby questions… Anyway, I think Brook is mad and feeling like I should side with her through all this, because I knew her first. But, I like Amanda, and I’m not really in all this, you know? But Brook was kinda not talking to me, and I finally got ahold of her last night, and apparently Amanda emailed her telling her that I hated her boyfriend and yada yada yada, which made Brook mad. But, I’m not 100% sure Amanda did that. I mean, I’m sure she said something, because I did say to her that Jay pulls the race card ALL the time, but I also think that Brook is upset and maybe blew things up… Anyway, so hopefully they’ll just quit talking to each other… Which would be sad, but… I’m ready for this to be over. Brook’s a lot like me though, quick to get mad, but she never stays mad, so, we’ll see…

Anyway, a questions for Moms out there… And this may be a stupid question but… I know Cayden is supposed to be sleeping a lot (he’ll be 6 weeks on Sunday, so he’s still a little guy) but how much is too much? I mean, I don’t know what to do with him really when he’s awake. I talk to him a little, sing to him a little, read to him, do tummy time… But I mean that only takes so much time…. And so I feel like then I stick him back in his bouncy and he falls asleep, and then I’m wondering if he should be awake more?

7 11 2008
Clo

oh yeah, for those of you who like obama here:

Hey,

Want a free Obama sticker to celebrate our victory? It’s designed by Shepard Fairey, the artist who created the iconic HOPE poster. And MoveOn’s giving them away totally free–even the shipping’s free.

I just got mine. Click this link to get your free Obama sticker:

http://pol.moveon.org/shepstickers/?id=-10036239-E0FkLcx&rc=

Thanks!

move on is legit too, so dont worry ladies its not a scam! you may want to unsubscribe after you get you sticker though, they do email a lot!

7 11 2008
Gabberjazz

Clo:
babies at that age sleep alot.. The only time you should be concerned is if you can’t wake them easily or they won’t feed because all he wants to do is sleep.
I’d say you are doing just fine with what you are doing… I know my girls would wake up at 6 to eat go back to sleep till 9 then we’d play and have a bath, eat 11am they would go down again for 2-3 hours wake up eat play what ever around 3 another nap for an hour or so up for dinner and in bed by 7 I would wake them up before I went to bed at 11 for a feed then they were out for the night that was the schedule I got them on .

7 11 2008
monkeyspeaks

Wow, great find CLO. I just ordered one! Shepard Fairey is actually a pretty famous artist. He’s known for his Obey The Giant work and a lot of other “graffitti” work. He’s Lowbrow which is what I concentrate on. GREAT stuff. If you like the Obama poster look into his other work. He has posters of Andy Warhol, Obey the Giant, and a lot of other pop culture icons.

7 11 2008
lara21167

Clo – babies need lots and lots of sleep they’re not going to get too much. What to do with them during waking hours hmmmm. Pretty much what you are doing. feed them, Sing, talk, read, lay on belly, then sleep :). At this age your not going to get much else.

7 11 2008
Clo

That’s what I thought, but sometimes I’m just like, he’s got to be so BORED, lol. But, I mean, I guess I just forget that everything is new to him, you know? So sitting here looking at stuff isn’t boring to him cause he doesn’t know how anything works or whatever. But sometimes when I sit here I’m just like, what am I supposed to do with you? LoL.

Gabber- He has no schedule, I keep waiting for him to settle into one, because I dunno… We feed on demand, which I personally think is the best way to do it, I don’t think I could listen to him cry and not feed him cause it’s not the right time… He’s starting to eat less quantity during the day, but more times. Like he’ll take 2 ounces here, an ounce there… At night he’s pretty much up every 3 hours to eat, usually 4 ounces, and then he’s right back down. Usually he goes down around 10, is back up around 12 or 1, then up again around 3 or 4, and then again around 7. The 7 o’clock feeding my husband does, but I get really annoyed cause that’s when Cayden “switches” to his 2 ounces here, up an hour later for another ounce, maybe sleeps 10 more minutes, maybe sleeps another 2 hours, it varies in the morning, and I’m just like… Kid, it’s OK if you’re up for good, but this down and up down and up thing is pissing me off!

7 11 2008
lara21167

Talking about books and rasism. I just read a really good book called “Wisdom of the Bones” Don’t know the author off the top of my head. But it is set in Dallas at the time of John F. Kennedy’s assassination. It is interesting because it incorporates fact and fiction. It’s about a detective (a fictional charactor) who is tring to solve murders of little black girls around the age of 12. The murders go back to 1938. Apparently these disappearances and murders of these children were fact but the crimes were never solved in real life. These poor girls were raped and cut up and then stitched back together. Not for the faint of heart. But the really sad thing was nobody cared because they were black. Except this fictional detective who has congestive heart failure and not long to live. In the meantime Kennedy is assassinated and the whole Dallas police force is working on the Kennedy assassination. So when another little girl disappears it’s up to Detective Duval to find her before she’s killed.

How’s that for a book report 🙂

7 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hey, Cloey…speaking of being “pissed off” – I’m still peeved, (I was definitely pissed off a little while ago; actually, more like livid). Anyway, I’ll get to that in a minute. So, Cayden resists a “schedule” for his sleeping, hugh? Yeah, all mine did, also. They’d just fall asleep when they were tired. I tried what the books say about establishing routines, repetition, etc…my babies did whatever they naturally were inclined to do. Eventually, of course, they got on a predictable schedule of sleeping, but it took quite a while. As far as a set feeding schedule – they’d tell me when it was time to eat, (plus, with breastfeeding, your breasts fill up and start to leak at predictable time…kind of nature’s way of following the baby’s own system). My guys all ate voraciously. I wouldn’t get too worked up about schedules or rigid routines if they don’t seem to be working for you, (other than the fact that you don’t get a lot of regular, uninterrupted sleep).

So, anyway, about earlier: Well, Heath has his tumbling/gymnastics class on Friday mornings, and he was more of a handful than he usually is. I mean, sometimes he’ll get up out of circle time, or mat time, (when the kids are watching the other kids and waiting for their turn to do the gymnastics move), and run around for a second…then come back to the mat. Today, though, he just wouldn’t stay put…he regularly got up when he wasn’t supposed to, (then, the instructor had to get him and bring him back), he didn’t pay attention much, etc. But nothing horrible or anything; all the kids, at 3/12 to 4 1/2 years of age, lose interest or whatever sometimes. Heath is really skilled at doing all the moves easily; he’s coordinated and has no fear of new things. Anyway, all the children screw around at various times – but Heath is the most frequent, I have to admit. This one crochety older-middleaged woman who’s been bringing her daughter? granddaughter? for about 3 weeks suddenly gets up from her seat on the bench, marches over to me, and takes me by surprise with, “So, HUNNY, are you going to go get your child under control, or shall I?” She had this smug, ugly look on her face that would be so satisfying to wipe off. She’s struck me before as a person with a stick up her ass…just the way she presents herself in a vaguely superior, condescending manner. Anyway, we exchanged words and I told her she was way out of line…that her behavior was rude and inappropriate to the point of being bizzare, that she had a lot of nerve approaching me and making a scene there in the lobby in front of everybody, etc. I also told her that the discussion was over, she needed to go back to her seat, etc…she just wouldn’t shut up, kept talking loudly to some pinched-looking Grandma next to her, trying to garner support. The older Grandma had her husband next to her…I could tell he was embarrassed and wanted his wife and the confrontational crone to just shup up…the clucking hens bitching about nada, you know? Well, anyway, I told you that I bare my fangs where my kids are concerned, and she wouldn’t shut her mouth…so I got a little nastier…told her she obviously needed to take her mood medication asap…mentioned that she probably doesn’t make many friends with her winning personality, and that her husband, if she even had one – which is doubtful with her shrewish personality – was probably a VERY unhappy man. I said all this to her, I even asked her if she thought I should get the horsewhip for my 4 year-old, because she kept making comments about how “out of control and horrible” he was, and that my parenting was so bad, etc. The thing is, the other parents/grandparents, (except the other, older hen I mentioned before), think Heath is funny, very smart, and friendly. He’s normally very entertaining…just today was obviously an “off” day for him, I guess. But this dried-up old crone making a federal case out of it in front of everyone, calling me “HUNNY” repeatedly and insulting me and my child – she really ticked me off. Let’s just say that I’m pretty certain she wishes she’d just kept her cantankerous mouth sealed; I really ripped into her when she wouldn’t cease her persistent clucking to the other old crone; it wasn’t pretty. It’s just…her reaction was WAY over the top…not fitting the situation at all. Now, Jerry says he’s going to take time to leave work next Friday and show up for the class to deal with the crone…should she even show up, (which, I think is doubtful, judging by her red face and subdued manner when I was through with her). See, that’s what I meant when I related to you all that it takes some prodding to get me going…but once I’m good and pissed: uh-oh!
Plus, you just don’t talk to people like that, and about their children, especially. I can’t imagine talking in that manner to someone. I did tell Jerry on the phone during the ride home, though, that we’ll have to set Heath straight about screwing around in monkey class; Jerry knows I’m upset, so he’s going to help me impress the importance of this onto Heath’s enthusiastic, (yes, sometimes stubborn, also), little brain. In his marshall arts class, he listens really well…pays attention, etc. Plus, with all of these enjoyable emotions I’ve experienced today…a generous supply of guilt is mixed in there, also. I mean, ALL of us tend to give in to Heath sometimes…maybe spoil him a little. That cliche’ about the baby of the family being a handful is a cliche’ for a reason. I guess we’re going to have to be more consistent about setting and keeping boundaries with Heathness, (yes, we add a “ness” after his name a lot of times…he’s like a force of nature or something). But don’t misunderstand: my littlest guy is kind, friendly, smart, sensitive, VERY loving…all those things. I just don’t want to raise him to be a future outlaw, or something, with his strong personality and penchant for making his own rules. Any suggestions/observations, Ladies? I’ve said it before, and here’s a perfect example: motherhood often involves a hefty amount of guilt – in one sense or another. Sigh…

Take care.

7 11 2008
Witchypoo

was supposed to read, “crotchety” older, middle-aged woman…

7 11 2008
Witchypoo

Oh, yeah…I forgot to mention that I’d already gone out on the floor to correct Heath, even took him into the bathroom once to talk to him about cooperating and behaving in class; it’s not like the sour, interferring old bitty didn’t see me trying with him before she started spewing at me. Dumbass…

7 11 2008
Gabberjazz

Witchy:
sounds like you had an eventful morning….I think how you explain Heath he’s a very smart little guy who is probably just bored at that time and something else caught his attention that woman needs to shut her trap…..I think my 4 year old Jazzie would resemble Heath. She’s a smart one but if you lose her attention then shes off. Plus seeing all the equipment set up who wouldn’t want to go play I know I would and I am in my 30’s

7 11 2008
lara21167

Oh Witchy don’t be hard on yourself. Sounds like the old bitty was really asking for it. And first of all the instructors of the gymnastics need to learn to control their class. As you yourself said he doesn’t act up in Marshal Arts and that’s because the instructor has control. Children sense wishy washy ness in teachers and instructors will be act up to test them. I know when my son took marshal arts, any child acted up and they were on the matt doing push ups. Same with Cheerleading, anyone acting up has to do 5 5 5 ‘s which is 5 push ups, 5 sit ups, 5 climber things. So yes they need control of the class. And as for being the baby of course you’re going to spoil him!! I’m the baby and lord knows everyone spoiled me. Still do like my oldest sister driving a 1/2 hour out of her way to pick me up when we went to see our niece. It’s just natural. And it;s not like you just ignored the situation. And all and all he’s only 4, Can’t expect him to sit still for too long a time. Self rightous people like that just make me mad. Be proud you told her off good 🙂

7 11 2008
Clo

Lara- Think I’m going to have to check that book out. I miss books so badly.

Witchy- Even when I see a child who is clearly out of control, I don’t stick my nose in it, unless that child is going to hurt themselves or someone/something, you know? Like, unless it’s a safety issue, it’s just not my place. Because you never know what’s going on with that kid. All kids have their moments, even the best behaved ones, and I hate people who butt in when they have no place. I’m worried if that ever happens with Cayden, because I’ll totally hit someone. There’s just no place at all. I can totally hear the way she called you hunny in my head. I know that voice. It’s snotty and it’s horrible. I would have started calling her Pooh Bear, since she was obviously so stuck on hunny.

I just got a huge dose of guilt myself. I worked at my old job with kids for four years. I ended up leaving because I was just so fried. I worked with inner city kids who were usually out of control and their parents usually didn’t care… I love them, they’re great kids, but it got to the point where I just didn’t care anymore, and I realized that meant it was time for me to remove myself and recharge. I didn’t want to be another adult in their lives who didn’t give a damn. There were other issues too, we never had the money to do what I wanted, they couldn’t offer me a full time position during the winter cause of the budget, I never got a raise in the 4 years I was there… I had an issue with a staff member who was convinced I was a lesbian and that because I was a lesbian that also made me a child molester… Anyway, I made good friends with a woman named Wendy, and Wendy has a daughter named Chelsea who I got VERY close too, because she’s just EXACTLY like me when I was her age. Anyway, Wendy ended up pissing me off this past year… Cause when she found out I was pregnant she said “Oh. Well, just cause you have a new baby don’t forget about Chelsea” Like, no congrats, I’m so excited for you, nada. Then my Mom did a huge favor for her, because Wendy signed up a kid for camp but he didn’t have his physical form and we NEEDED that kid at camp because we had so many slots to fill in order to get certain funding. So my Mom on her day off went and gave that kid a physical. Then I called Wendy cause my Mom was going out of town and my sister who was working at camp that year needed a ride to the center (they come home every weekend and leave monday morning for camp from the center) Anyway, the center is seriously like 5 minutes away driving from my moms house. Close by car, but just a little too far to walk, especially with all her stuff for camp. There was no excuse not to do it. Not only did Wendy not do it, but she didn’t even bother to call back and say no, she just ignored all our calls. So then Wendy starts yelling at me, saying I never call anymore (she never calls me) and I never come get Chelsea… Wendy lives 1/2 hour one way from me. She wanted me to not only baby sit for free (not that I mind, I LOVE Chelsea, so that wasn’t a big deal, but I mean she never sent Chelsea with money and food and entertainment costs a lot!) but then also spend the gas money and time to drive 1/2 hour down to pick her up, 1/2 hour back to our house, and then the next day do it again to take her home? She never once offered to drop Chelsea off up here. Then, my baby shower comes along and I send Wendy an invitation. She didn’t even bother to RSVP no. I mean, Wendy’s a single mom so I get maybe she thought not only did she have to spend the Gas money to come up here but also get a gift (which, we didn’t need a gift, I was just happy to see her) So then I was at camp and another one of my co-workers was telling me she couldn’t come cause there was another party that day… And Wendy finally tells me she can’t come either, because it’s too far. Which, made me kinda mad, but whatever, like I said, she’s a single mom so if money’s tight, it’s tight and maybe she just didn’t have the gas. But then she has the balls to go on to complain and be like “Why’d you have to make it so far away?” (Which, it was far from her, but close to me, and isn’t that how it usually goes? When you plan a party, don’t you usually do it at a place near you? I mean I drove all the way down to Wendy’s house for Chelsea’s party, I didn’t say ‘why didn’t you make it closer to me’) And then, she even said “Why don’t you cancel it and reschedule it at Southside? (the center)” And I’m like, gee, if you wanted so much control over my shower, why didn’t YOU offer to plan it? Not to mention the shower was a week away at this point. I’m like, um, the invites have been sent out, I’m not changing it. Then the icing on the cake was when she didn’t call or visit when my son was born.

Anyway, to make a long story short (too late) my guilt comes cause because I’m kinda peeved at Wendy, I’ve been kinda ignoring Chelsea. And it’s totally not her fault. So I emailed her last night and apologized, explained things a little, and I just got the saddest email back. Chelsea talks about how alone she feels and how her mom is working all the time… And how she misses me but doesn’t blame me. And it just totally breaks my heart 😦

Anyway Witchy- PLEASE keep us updated on what happens next week should the crusty old cunt (Ha, how’s THAT for language!) shows up! It should be interesting (and entertaining) to read!

7 11 2008
Clo

Oh and Witchy, Lara’s totally right. Kids DO TOTALLY test authority figures. I told all the new counselors at camp, DO NOT start out soft and try to “win” over the kids by being their friends. Start out strict. Once you have control, you can always loosen the reins, but if you never had control? You’ll never get it back.

As for the schedule thing- I’m not too worried about it. Right now it feels like he’ll NEVER sleep through the night, or sleep more than 3 hours for that matter, but I’m sure all parents feel that way, so I know he will.

And the baby thing? I don’t think it’s ALWAYS true. I know mostly the baby is spoiled, but in my family, it’s my sister (the oldest) who is spoiled. I’m the baby, and yet I’m the one who’s married, with a baby, and the only one who knows how to drive and doesn’t live with my mom.

7 11 2008
Janelyse829

hey guys.

so he called last night CRYiNG at 2 am. he said that he was sorry it happened amd he REALLY didnt mean for it to happen. he said that he loved me very much and that he was VERY sorry about driving me away by acting the way he did. he also said that he would understand if i didnt want him to call me again and would never be with him again. he just wanted make sure i knew he loved me.

so yeah.

BTW, im going to the club tonight. heard that Ezi will be there looking for me so when he finds me i dont want to be alone [in case that hed’s not alone]. my friends cousin has always had a crush on me and MY GOD, HE IS GORGEOUS!!!! so im going with him.

7 11 2008
lara21167

Ladies have a great weekend. Janey have fun…

8 11 2008
Witchypoo

Damn! I just wrote a bunch, and my littlest spawn came up to give me a big, sloppy kiss, somehow messing with the mouse at the same time…everything was deleted. Oh well…I guess that’s just how my day has been going. I had told all you nice ladies how I felt better after reading all your sweet, supportive comments; it’s really nice to be able to relate the personal, somewhat embarrassing details of my life. I don’t feel like such a hysterical headcase with a monster-child, you know? Cloey…it’s like you said yesterday: I feel like each one of you are special, and unique, and what Lara said also…about feeling like you’re real friends, even though we haven’t met face-to-face. I didn’t really ever think I could get to know people…make such nice friends…over the internet. But you girls are all so great; I guess I’m “cheesey”, also…so be it, then. (I’ve always known I’m “cheesey” in the extreme, anyway…nothing new there).

Also…what you said, Cloey and Lara, about instructors needing to have control of their class: so true. I know that’s the main component regarding why Heath seems to enjoy pushing the boundaries with these girls teaching the class. Jerry and I are working with him, though, to make him understand the importance of cooperation and respecting the rules. He’s very “spirited”…but we’ll just try to be consistent about this issue.

So, Brainy-Janey…good for you, Sweetie – out kickin’ it with Pretty Boy. I couldn’t have orchestrated that for you better myself. Very nice, very nice. Now, if the wayward Ezi should happen to run into you with the cutie-pie…all the better: he’ll get a much-needed lesson in humility…and you’ll get a little giggle. What could be better? I’m not usually so wickedly amused by someone else’s misery…but that young man definitely has it coming, after how he’s been jerking you around. Let us know how things play out, Sweetie.

Gabber, thanks also for your viewpoint regarding my littlest guy. I hope things work out for you in the romance department – if not with the current flame…then with another really nice, hot, worthy, “man-of-your-dreams”. You seem like a really nice person; you deserve someone special, (who knows YOU’RE special).

Well…time to go read the littlest spawn some books. Nightie-night, Ladies…and take care.

8 11 2008
Witchypoo

Forgot: Cloey…yup, you got it exactly right, (about the nasty manner of the “crusty cunt” earlier today). I like that term, btw…it’s fitting for some. See: I KNEW I felt sympatico with your communicative style/tendencies, (I mean, just the way you mentioned how you could “hear” her in your mind, for one example). It’s nice to be fully understood, you know?

Also…I know how you probably take on a sense of responsibility for things that you shouldn’t. That little girl, Chelsea…she’s lucky to have an adult friend who makes such an effort to understand her feelings. I’m sure she knows that; you’ll be able to see her and connect with her again, Sweetie. Don’t feel bad, (yes, I know…easier said than done).

Nightie-night, (again), and take care.

8 11 2008
Janelyse829

Good Morning Ladies!

i now officially have a cold. and for some odd reason i think its the best thing ever! i mean who wouldnt totally want to sneeze every five minutes and cough like theres no tomorrow and have a head ache 24/7? hahaha.

so last night was rather…interesting. So Kalayiah knew we were going to be out late and she doesnt like it when i drive at night so she and her cousin Jayden picked me up. I was having so much fun!!!! they played ALL my favorite songs and i’ve never danced for THAT long in heels. [yes, my feet hurt like hell by the time i walked thru the door this morning =p] everything was going great. i was dancing with Jayden [Kalayiah had gone somewhere; i didnt really see her that much now that i think about it] and out of nowhere guess who pops up? yup. he pushed Jayden away from me and told him to “Get the fuck off my girl” so the he tries to pull me to him like he expected Jayden to pull me back. so i told him to get off and reminded him that HE was the one who cheated on me and then i grabbed Jayden by the hand and walked away. that was the last i saw of him until we were about to leave. he again popped up out of nowhere to tell me that he forbid me to get in Jaydens car. said that he was taking me home. so i walked to Jaydens car and got in and i couldnt help but notice that if Jayden hadnt been RIGHT behind me Ezi would have swung at him. hahahaha. he was so mad =]

8 11 2008
Monkeyspeaks

hey guys. Witchy, I would have been livid!!!

I’m out of town this weekend for the food and wine festival and my grinds bachelorette party ( maid of honor here!). Hopefully some good stories out of the weeknd for you!

I’ll catch up with all the comments when I get a chance. Have a great weekend!

8 11 2008
Clo

Aw, Witchy, you’re my favorite. LoL, actually you all are. It’s like, one of you guys will say something, and I’ll relate to it SO much, and I’ll just be like “aw, you’re my favorite” and then someone else will say something else and I’ll think “Oh, no, YOU’RE my favorite!” and yeah… I guess it’s kinda like that poem, you’re all my favorite for different reasons.

It’s just nice too, cause we’re all different ages and/or at different points in our lives, so I really feel like whenever I have a problem, I get a wide view of things. And then it’s funny, when everyone gives the same advice. Sometimes women are just women and we all kinda have the same core value of things, you know?

But, Witchy, I think sometimes people forget that kids are kids, and you just can’t box them in. Some of them are naturally quiet and well behaved… And it’s not always because of their parents (cause trust me, I have met some kids who have basically raised themselves, and are the most polite things I have ever met) and then some kids are just… Free spirited. I can kinda picture Heath, in a way. I mean, not really him, but his actions, you know? And I don’t think he’s a bad kid, just a little bit of a wild child, and that has everything to do with his personality, and nothing to do with your parenting. And again, I think some people just don’t get that. You can never change a childs personality. And you should never really want too.

Yup, some people are just crusty cunts, and are so unhappy with their lives that they have to make others unhappy. There’s a lady I used to work with like that. She’s seriously gotta be at least 500 lbs, if not more, and I’m not joking. ANd I mean, I’m fat, so I feel for her there, but it’s like… She’s just so freaking MEAN. And she’s ugly as hell too, she’s got like one eye that’s a lazy eye and one eye that’s a pop eye and she walks with a limp and she smells bad. Her daughter was also a big girl, but the COMPLETE opposite of her mom. So sweet and funny… Unfortunately a little while back because of her weight she had complications during surgery and died. And it’s just sad, cause when I found out she died, I totally thought “Why couldn’t that happen to her Mom, and not her?” Totally mean, I know but…. Also sad. I wonder how many people thinks that about your crusty cunt.

I just feel so bad for Chelsea. I mean I know her Mom loves her but… Wendy was really young when she had her, like Chelsea’s 15 now, and Wendy’s in her mid 30’s so… But still, she ignores Chelsea a lot, and like. Wendy works with kids and so her house is always full of kids, and she’s around kids at work all day, and she really does treat other kids better than Chelsea. I don’t think Wendy knows she’s doing it, but she totally does. And I dunno, you know all Chelsea wants is her moms attention. I just really wish Chelsea could come live with me. I mean I’m only like 7 years older than Chelsea, but… I kinda feel like I know how to talk to her and she’d be happier with me. I mean don’t get me wrong, like I said I know Wendy does love her, I just don’t think she knows… I dunno what I’m trying to say. It just broke my heart too, cause Chelsea was talking about how they never have any money at home, and that’s not Wendy’s fault cause she DOES bust her ass at work, it’s just with the economy what it is now, everything is just SO expensive and it’s hard to make ends meet. So Chelsea was talking about how they never have any food in the house and how they have to go to her Grandma’s to eat, and I just felt so bad. If we had the money I’d go drop off groceries. My Mom was a single mom, and I know people dropped off groceries for us several times, and had they not, we probably would have skipped a few meals. It’s hard too, cause as I said before I’d go get her, even just for the weekend, but they live like 1/2 hour away, and again moneys tight… And then we’re pretty much busy every weekend until December. Next weekend we’re going out of town, and then I believe after that is my surgery so….

Anyway, Janey, good for you!

Rowdy I hope you have fun!

Gabber, MT, and Lara (even though I know you won’t see this till Monday) how are your weekends?

8 11 2008
Janelyse829

i just woke up =] i should get sick more often, it makes me this sleepy. i mean i couldnt even sleep for that long last night [morning] i came home at 3 am… and woke up at 9….so yea. how everyone else’s weekend?

10 11 2008
Clo

Sorry guys, we just watched “forgetting Sarah Marshall” and it has the BEST line in it ever, and I thought I’d share… “Maybe it’s not working because you broke my heart into a million little pieces and my cock doesn’t want to be around you anymore!”

Hahahaha, GREAT movie!

10 11 2008
Janelyse829

haha!!! thats funny.

10 11 2008
Gabberjazz

Ha ha ha I like that now if only we could figure out something to say along thoes lines as a woman.. I finally got a text back after awhile on Friday… I hate men right now. He told me he wasn’t back with his ex wife but he couldn’t sustain a true relationship right now. what a load of crap!!!!! All I replied back was sorry to hear that cause you won my heart.. so its done we just have to exchange eachothers things.
After all this my partner from work just happened to call me to see how things went and he decided he was going to take me out for coffee its nice to have a guy thats a friends just to talk to sometimes.

10 11 2008
lara21167

Good Morning ladies,

Yes that is a great line Cloey.

Janey – That couldn’t have worked out any better. Has Ezi tried to get in touch with you since? BTW I have a cold too, and since I smoke it’s gone straight to my chest. Of course I didn’t get to rest over the weekend. Too much to do. I’m at work now but I’m afraid I may still be contagious. I think I was running a fever but I took something for it. My concern is their is a lady that works here that had an extreme case of pneumonia last year almost died. SHe had several lung operations and is only working part time until she gets her strength back. I told her I didn’t want to get her sick. (I like to save sick days for when my daughter gets sick which isn’t too often, but since me and her father have it… Otherwise my weekend was good enjoyed a visit from my son. Which reminds me does anyone know anything about training to install car sterio systems? Richie (my son) is taking an electics course now through high school, but he said he wants to get into installing auto sound systems. The closest school I can find to Maryland is in New Jersey. I didn’t know if maybe someone else knew of anything or how to look it up.

So even though Richie will graduate with his class this year, he didn’t tell me I had to order the cap and gown and the cost is $250.00 which I think is crazy, but I would call the school and still see if I could get one. But he insists that he doesn’t want to do the whole graduation cerimony thing. He thinks things like that are stupid. But I’m disapointed. Now my daughter is in to all the school things and they don’t charge for cap and gown in good ol’ Maryland (unless that’s changed)

Speaking of Crusty cunts my daughter Cheer coach was telling me that all the local cheer teams are not talking to her or are but talking sh** behind her back, all because we placed first in the parade!! THat is soooo dumb. And one team was disqualified because they stopped in front of the judges for several minutes (you have to keep going) and of course they are saying that they would have taken first place if they hadn’t been disqualifed. Cheerleading has got to be the worst sport for bad mouthing….

10 11 2008
lara21167

Gabber, I’m sorry. Why don’t guys have the balls to just say they don’t want a relationship or whatever. Do they think you’ll just go away if they stop calling? WHen I was in High School, this guy tried that shit with me just stopped calling. Well I got the hint but I was fed up with guys and kept calling him. I was determined to make him say he didn’t want to go out anymore. But I’d be damned if he would. I finally gave up lol. And yes it’s nice to have a guy friend to talk to that’s just a friend.

10 11 2008
Gabberjazz

It just pisses me off, hmmm to go from oh I can see this going somewhere and I want to do alot with you I will do anything with you to I can’t sustain a true relationship right now WTF. Ohhh it just pisses me off……. why play with our minds like that? Oh I wish I was at work and not on my days off at least there I have someone to take it out on.

10 11 2008
lara21167

Gabber I must say I pity the prisoners you guard lol. But I know what you mean. I can remember a lot of times, going out with a guy things are great and all of sudden for no apparent reason he turns cold. Too bad Joe Hottie disappeared that might be a good question for him.

10 11 2008
Clo

Lara- Car stereo systems…. I didn’t know you had to go to school to install them. I know my husband knows how to do them (basic stuff, he installed my CD player, stuff like that) and I know my ex used to work at a place and did that, like best buy…. I dunno if it’s different and he wants to work at a shop like you see on pimp my ride or whatever, but you could call a store like best buy and see if they train to do that. I mean, even if he wants to get into something more serious at least if best buy trains he can try it out and make sure he likes it. That way if he doesn’t end up liking it he doesn’t feel like he’s stuck, ya know? Or you could try talking to a guidance counselor at your daughters school or your sons school to see if they can recommend any school. I know we have plenty of tech schools here that prolly teach it, but I also know Ohio is known for having a billion colleges, lol. I’m not really sure how to look it up though.

And I do think Cheerleading is prolly the worst for trash talking. Sore losers suck. And if they were such a great team then why did they let themselves get DQ’d for such a stupid reason?

Gabber- That blows, but I think I’ve said it before “If he’s dumb enough to walk away than be smart enough to let him go”. And I agree with the girls, HATE it when a guy blows you off by just not calling/returning calls, and then on top of that, they have the balls to call you crazy cuz you keep calling. Whenever I hear one of my guy friends call a girl crazy cuz she won’t quit calling, I always ask “Did you tell her that you’re not interested” and the answer is usually no, “she should get the hint” and I’m either like, maybe she’s a little slow, or maybe she gets and is angry (rightfully so) and just wants you to man up.

Bad day today. Everything that could go wrong, did. I slept poorly, Cayden’s been fussy. I was almost late to my doctors appointment cause Cayden’s diaper leaked and he got pee on his onesie, so I had to change him, and then as soon as I got him in his new outfit, he threw up on it. Then I fogrot to get my husbands debit card so I could pay my co pay so I had to go to his work, turns out I didn’t even have to pay a co pay cause it’s on what they charged us already… Then I had to wait forever for the doctor to come, and then she finally did and I go to leave, only there’s this woman at the check out desk who was totally bitchy and stuck up her own ass… She said that they were supposed to schedule her for something but never did cause they couldn’t fit her in… And I heard her say my doctors name, so she has the same doc as me, and I NEVER have an issue with getting in to see her… So then the receptionist is trying to schedule something and everything she brings up the lady’s like “can’t do it” and so finally the receptionist was like “well I’ll call you to schedule something” (cause at that point I had seriously been waiting like 10 minutes, just to freaking check out.) and the lady was like “No, they always say they’ll call and they don’t” and that goes on for another five minutes when the receptionist finally says “I’ll have to sit down with Dr. Paul and try to schedule something, I’ll call you” so the lady FINALLY gets it and leaves. So then I go out and Cayden is SCREAMING his head off. He’s not wet, hot, cold, hungry, dirty… Nothing… He wants his binky… And my sister lost it. So then we have to go to the kroger down the street and spend 4 freaking dollars for two freakin pacifiers, and I’m just like, that’s freaking nuts, but whatever. So then we go to surprise my mom at her work, only I get lost and it takes us forever to get there, and then by the time we made it she could only see us for like 5 minutes, which was just a big waste. So then I get home and I have to take my bro and sis all the way back home, and of COURSE Cayden doesnt start crying till there’s no one else in the car to help… So then I stop at wal mart so I can feed him and grab something for dinner, and I really had to pee but when I went into the bathroom there were 3 guys in there doing matienence, and I’m like, ugh, I’m not peeing with boys in the bathroom, and they didn’t have a sign up or anything, and I’m like c’mon, they couldn’t have found female employees to do this? So then I grabbed the thing we’re getting for dinner and go to check out, but then I can’t find my husbands credit card. Yup, I lost it. Have no clue where it is. All the while I’m trying to look for it Caydens screaming and I have to pee, so we just left.

Ugh, hate days like these. And now here in a little bit I have to pack up Cayden again and head to pick up my husband and I don’t wanna. I’ve driven WAY too much today. And it also just hit me that I haven’t eaten either sooooo I better go do that.

10 11 2008
Gabberjazz

Lara:
Lol no I am not mean to the prisoners its my partner lol…. I love venting to him and the other male guards.

Clo:
awww I hope things go better the rest of your day….

10 11 2008
Gabberjazz

LOL didn’t Joe hottie disappear on us too kinda went cold……..

10 11 2008
Janelyse829

hi guys.
so A LOT has happened since friday night. maybe too much. Ezi wanted to talk and i figured that we wouldf have to talk evebtually so we should just get it outta the way. unfortunately [yes, i feel horrible about this] we ended up sleeping together instead of talking. so the he wanted to fix our relationship. the first thing he said to me when he saw me was “i saw you with that guy the other night and i didnt like it. i didnt like the way he was looking at you. i wanted to kill him” he said that he didnt want to feel like that the rest of his life when i found a guy that he knew would never love me as much as he does all beacuse he made a mistake. he and i have to sit and talk about waht we BOTH need to work on/change in order for this to work. i guess im saying that im giving us another chance.

and he claryfied the whole michelle thing for me. i do have to acknowledge that she was one of his closest friends b4 she told him tht she was in love with him. after that he kinda stepped back a lil bit but she told him that she was having problems with her family and he asked if she needed someone to talk to. right around the time we started arguing about my smoking. he was trying to help her and she took advantage of that. but i told him that if we do try this again she HAS to get out of the picture COMPLETELY. and i promised that i would try to quit again but he had to help me not make it harder on me. so we still have a lot of things to talk about and work on. and i guess if we’re really ARENT supposed to be together we’ll break up and this time it will be obvious.

10 11 2008
lara21167

Gabber you’re right Joe Hottie did pull that on us lol, guess he just lost interest!!

Cloey – Yea, what a day!! Did you find the credit card? That would scare me. Then to have to cancel it and all that. Hope the rest of your day is better. OH and what I’ve found on “auto sound system training” what I’ve been searching and there must be more to it than just putting in a sterio because there is a certification MECP Certification. There was or is a car sterio installation place in town called”Thumpin Car Stero” Maybe I’ll call them and see what is required. My biggest thing is if can make a decent living. The electrician training he is receiving now he could apprentice and get a Master Electrician License and I know make good money. But he can’t see himself “strapping on a work belt” and heading to work every morn. When I was his age I couldn’t see myself heading to an office to sit every day from 8 am to 5pm. Guess what I do everyday lol

Janey – I think Ezi does love you and am sure he is sorry. I mean I understand if he and Michelle were best friends, but she obviously hasn’t been a good freind to him So yes he needs to dump her as a friend. And the smoking, because it is bad for you I can see his pushing you to quit for your own good. To give you an ultimatum on it no, that’s not right. But he probably doesn’t understand what it takes to quit. And it ususally takes more than one try. Let him know that and not knock you down if you slip. My only problem with what you’ve said about Ezi is he seems controlling. Maybe I’m wrong. But I can tell you are not a woman that is going to be controlled. And he should know that by by now lol. So you may have some conflicts there. But I’m glad you are happy, and it was good to make him jealous. Let him know he’s not the only fish in the sea.:) BTW how’s the cold??

10 11 2008
Janelyse829

lara-the colds a lil better. and youre kinda right, kinda wrong. he certainly CAN be controlling. thats how he deals with somethings. he has a need to have control. butnot all the time. and your right-he DOES know better than to thinnk he can control me. hows your cold?

11 11 2008
lara21167

My cold is finally getting better. Of course I have a horrible stupid cough because I smoke, but I feel alot better, thanks for asking If you and Ezi work together and respect each other I think you 2 will do just fine:)

11 11 2008
lara21167

Oh and I think I’m going to try to encourage my son into a bit of a different direction. He has been thinking about college rather than Tech schools. He’s not into the whole structured learning environment. So I mentioned that online degrees are really picking up and he seemed possibly interested. So I kinda would like him to go into Electrical Engineering. That’s what my father did and even though he’s passed on he would have loved to see my son following in his foot steps so to speak. ANyway not too much in the online programs for Electrical Engineering. DeVry has a BS program in Electronics Engineering Technology. Goes a bit farther than what my father did. My Father worked on space shuttles, designing or whatever at Goddard Space Flight Center. This looks like it points more toward computer and other tech gadgets. I think it will compliment what he is learing in his electrical classes now.

11 11 2008
Janelyse829

Lara-Thats cool about your son. at least he knows what he wants to into. im still trying to decide. Electronics is a good choise though because of how advanced technology is and will continue to get, not many people are goinvg to be able to know how to work/install/repai/remove all those gadgets and such.

11 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hi, Ladies…how’s it going? Hey, Lara, yeah…your idea about having your son look into the electronics degree option would really benefit him; the sky’s the limit in that field, you know? Where our society is moving, those types of technical fields are only going to keep growing. Here in Washington, we have Microsoft…and countless companies that operate in conjunction with Microsoft and in that general field. The industry is booming…and can only continue in that direction. Richie is a lucky boy to have someone who’s really looking into the future for his best interests; it’s so much easier to enter “adulthood” with the right guidance – like you’re giving Richie. Also, online degree programs are probably going to eventually overtake traditional campus settings for sheer attendance numbers; they’re growing fast, with more and more options. The convenience of “attending” class from your own home is just so practical for people who have lots of other commitments, (like spouses and/or children, or problems with transportation, or whatever). Plus…take out the commuting time, (for people who don’t live on campus), and the process is so streamlined…you can fit a traditional full-time credit class load into a much smaller, time-efficient space. If he’s interested in that type of a career, Richie should grab the opportunity.

Janey…glad to hear that you are happy about your decision to give it another try with Ezi. It’s hard to just walk away from a long-term relationship, (unless there’s obviously no other choice…like if there’s physical/verbal abuse, drug/substance problems, blatant cheating, etc.). Even with any of those bad factors, plenty, (too many) of women stay with a guy far too long. As long as you feel ok about his reasons for letting this girl, (Michelle), linger, then you have to follow your instincts; you and your guy will have a much better chance if he follows through on his promise to completely stay away from her. That girl is determined; it also doesn’t sound like she has enough self-respect to stay away from a guy who’s taken. I’d watch out for Ezi falling back on her whenever you two have the inevitable difficulties that every long-term, serious relationship experiences at times. He can’t use her for subtle leverage against you whenever he wants his own way, or is just pissed at you for whatever reason. Stick to your “conditions”, Sweetie.

Cloey…wow, you sure had a crappy day, yesterday, hugh? Yeah, it’s always fun
to have lots of things go wrong all on the same day. Newborns are time-consuming and complicated to get out of the house to places on time; that was one of the biggest challenges to me as a new parent, (with the practical matters, I mean). The more complex, intangible challenges come a little later…like discipline and all that; just a veritable funfest at times, let me tell you. Anyhoo, I have a pretty good feeling that you’ll manage just fine.

Gabber, yeah…what can you do if he pulls away like that? I think men just don’t have a really clear idea about what they want with a woman, a lot of times. Also, like Lara was saying, it’s pretty rare to find a guy who will be completely up front with you…communicate in a mature, clear way. Most of them just pull the disappearing act. Do you get the sense that it has anything to do with you having children, or was that not an issue? I don’t remember if you mentioned whether or not he has any of his own, but I kind of assumed that he doesn’t. Maybe once he sensed that you two were getting more serious, he panicked about the whole family thing? I don’t know…I’m just taking guesses. Do you meet up with a lot of men who have children of their own? One thing I know for certain: the likelihood of meeting a man who’s mature enough to look beyond the immediate moment of instant gratification…someone who knows what’s it’s like to think of others’ needs before his own sometimes…these odds go up dramatically when you’re dealing with a man who has experience as a GOOD father. Yes, that’s definitely a generalization…but I believe it’s an accurate statement, overall. Parents, (good ones), HAVE to function somewhat responsibly and maturely; considering a loved one’s needs/wishes becomes second nature. You present yourself as mature and focused; maybe you just need to seek out men who you have the major things in common with…like kids, the desire to settle down, etc. Also, your description of the type of guys ususally found in the prison law-enforcement setting…jumping from partner to partner, cheating, etc…they don’t sound promising in regard to a serious, happy, committed relationship picuture, you know? I know that the commonality factor of being in the same profession is tempting, (I’m assuming)…but you might get jerked around a lot with men who are casual about their connections. I’m making assumptions based on what I’ve read from you, and also what I know about myself, and women overall where relationships are concerned, (especially women with children). As I’m sure you’re well aware of, Gabber…children change EVERYTHING; things just aren’t as simple as before when you only had yourself to think about.

My computer is spacing the letters in my words strangely…I don’t know why.

Well…there’s my volume for now, Ladies. Take care.

11 11 2008
Witchypoo

And…I found typos where the letters are switched…I guess I’m mildly dyslexic today, or something.

11 11 2008
Witchypoo

Oh…Hey, Cloey, I’ve been meaning to ask you this: have you ever seen Hinder’s video for “Better Than Me”? I don’t even know if you listen to or like that group…they’re pretty much rock, but that song from that album was popular about a year ago, (their current one is ‘Without You’). Yeah, I’m a child of the 80’s…so I’ll ALWAYS have a soft spot for rock/rock ballads/cheesey love songs, etc…along with all my other likes in music, (I just love music period…all kinds, all time periods…you name it). Anyhoo…this particular video reminds me so much of the situation regarding your sister and her ex-boyfriend…the poor guy who died with his wicked drug problem. As a matter of fact…I’m sure the video mirrors A LOT of relationships these days – more than ever. Listening to the song without viewing the video…you get the definite impression that he cheated on her and really regrets it after they break up and go their separate ways and all that; I was surprised when I saw the video. It’s really sad…and what’s sadder is that it really is representative of what’s going on all over the place. I have it in my Itunes file…I only watch it once-in-awhile, since I tend to shy away from depressing subjects…if at all possible. I’m not sure where else it’s available – does Limewire have videos? I don’t know…my spawn are well-informed on all that, but I need to pay better attention, (Itunes can get expensive…especially when you can get the music for free, or much cheaper, from other sources). Though, there are a lot of music industry insiders who believe that those types of sources are undercutting the music industry…ruining it, in a sense. I’m not well-informed enough about all the details to form an opinion on that. I’ve been meaning to bring up that song/video to you for a few days…just kept forgetting.

Take care.

11 11 2008
lara21167

Hi Witchy and thank you, I always feel like my poor son gets 2nd fiddle to my daughter 1) because she is more demanding and 2) because he lives with his grandmother 45 minutes away. I have alot of guilt but it was his choice. His father I (still have) joint custody but he lived mainly with me. When he turned 10 he decided he wanted to live with Dad. Of course Dad wound up getting into drugs and all that and by then he was well adjusted into Middle School down in West Viginia so he preferred to stay with his grandmother and since she didn’t mind… I of course hate the whole situation, I just feel left out and have no control. He regrets the desicion too. He makes comments about leaving me to live with his dad then his dad leaving him. We were talking about him “coming home” after he graduates until he can afford to live on his own. That makes me happy. BTW “dad” is living close to his rehab place again. It’s in West Virginia but a few hours from my son. When his dad stays there close he seems to do well. Guess he just needs that support. He hasn’t seen Richie in probably a year or more. He’s supposed to come visit him for Thanksgiving. I hope he does. He doesn’t realize how much he has hurt his son. Stupid men. I sure can pick ’em:)

11 11 2008
lara21167

Supposed to say “his father and I”

11 11 2008
Witchypoo

Oh, SweetLara…there’s that MOTHER’S GUILT, hugh? You sure aren’t responsible for the poor choices of the men in your life. I believe that “wounded birds” are drawn to maternal, basically soft-hearted women like you; it’s an age-old truth, unfortunately. Have you ever thought that you were put togethter with these men for a reason? Some higher purpose? Like…where would your current husband be without you to cushion his life? Yeah, I know…if you let yourself, you could wind up feeling bitter and resentful that you’re the designated “Florence Nightengale”, or “Mother Theresa”, (sp?), for the men in your life. But, even though you’re in your early 40’s…you have to realize that there’s A LOT of time, and living, (barring any unfortuante, unforeseen circumstances, of course), left for you to do. Today’s 40’s is yesterday’s 50’s – 60’s…maybe even a wider margin than that…depending on whether or not you believe in the metaphysical ability we all have, (but rarely realize), to stay young and vital for FAR longer than what is the accepted, conventional idea of “youth” and vital living. Ok…I’m getting off the track here, I know. I’m just making the point that you still have SO MANY possibilities ahead of you…should you so choose. It ain’t over ’till it’s over, baby…or something like that. It has to be YOUR time, sooner or later. Until then, try to believe that you are serving a loving and useful purpose in the lives of the men you choose to grace with your presence; they’re luckier than I’m sure they realize. (Or, who knows: maybe they realize more than I’m giving them credit for; lots of men know they’d be screwed in so many ways without the loving, compassionate females in their lives.

As for your son…it sounds like he definitely is growing up enough to realize and understand to some degree just how much his mother loves him. From here on out, Lara…he’s going to really need some dependable, consistent guidance to see him into adulthood and independence. It can be a scary time for young people…even while it’s also thrilling. I’m sure just knowing you’re ready and willing to help him in any way you possibly can – including him coming to terms with the problems/limitations of the father he loves, and why things have happened the way they have…this assurance that he’s got a solid support system in you will make all the difference in what kind of young man he continues to develop into. So, you have WAY more control over the events surrounding you and your loved ones than I’m sure it feels like sometimes. Sigh…we humans sure know how to make things complicated, don’t we?

Take care.

11 11 2008
Janelyse829

hey guys.
i have been playing beautian all day. my sister wanted me to do her hair, then my cousin showed up and wanted me to do her hair and then i decided to do my own =] then i had to go to the grocery store cause i was missing one of the ingredients for what i was making for dinner. my cousin went with me cause i dunno she was here. which brings me to next point. Men are rude, disrespectful,and just creepy. my cousin and i walked in the sote and she went to et a cart and the old guy was like “good afternoon ladies, god bless you” so i smiled and then when we turned around to walk away he was like “Damn look at that ass” WHAT? he was creepy=looking and just gross. my cousin looked at me for sec like “hugh?” and then she just started craking up. i still think thats rude.

anyways, i miss Munchkin. i havent seen him since last weekend and i cant wait to see him!!!! i think im going to get him friday. his mom comes back on Saturday or Sunday and when she gets here i dunno when i’ll see him again soo. i better get my time in now.

11 11 2008
Janelyse829

thats supposed to say “STORE” not sote

12 11 2008
Clo

Ugh. I dunno if it’s my life or if this happens in everyones lives (which, it probably does and I’m just being dramatic, but that’s just me, so whatever.) but when the shit hits the fan it REALLY hits the fan.

Like hen times are good, they’re very very good, but when they’re bad? EVERYTHING happens at once. Yesterday was just one of those days (anyone remember that song? “It’s just one of those days that a girl goes through, when I’m angry inside don’t wanna take it out on you….” ha, sorry, love that song though.) We did find hubbys card though, so, phew on that one. But there’s the crappy day yesterday, and then the obvious issues that my sisters going through with the death of GusGus, (which, I mean she’s handling it well, but healthy, which means she does have her moments of saddness and feelings of regret and guilt. So while I don’t worry that she’s going to have a break down, it’s still a lot to deal with, and having to listen to her talk, and sometimes snap at me for no reason cause she’s sad…) then we get a phone call from my brother at 11:30 last night and he said “I don’t want to be here” and I’m like “Like, be here on this earth, or be at your house” and he said his house. So my husband left to go pick him up… And we asked him if he wanted to go to netcare (which is like a mental health place that’s open all the time) and he said he just felt better being at our house.. So, by the time my husband comes home it’s like 12:30, and then I talk to Kissy (my bro) and make sure he’s OK, and then deal with the baby, so I lay down about 1, 1:30 and go to sleep. Only to be woken up at 4 by my brother saying “Laura I’m burning up, I have a fever” (He’s had panic attacks the last week or so. He thinks he’s having a heart attack and freaks, which I think stems from the fact that my father, and his father before him, and so on, all died of heart attacks at a young age….) so I feel him, and take his temp, and there’s no fever, and I ask him if he wants me to sit up with him, or if he wants to talk, and he says no, he just wants to use my cell phone. So then he comes back up 5 minutes later saying he called the police to take him to netcare… Which, I mean the police will take him to netcare, but I mean, we could have taken him. Calling the police just created more drama… So the police came and they were kinda dicks. They were like “This is a health issue, take him to riverside.” and I’m like “He doesn’t have insurance which is why he wants to go to netcare” and they were like “Why can’t you take him to netcare” and I explained like a MILLION times that I offered, but he kept saying no, and the next thing I knew he had called them and I didn’t know he had called them… But they just kept talking to me like I was an idiot, and saying that if they took him they’d “look bad” (how? I have no idea) and how they’d have to fill out a bunch of paperwork (which, I mean, isn’t that what I pay taxes for?) I mean, all in all, I see that they were kinda like, you called us all the way out here for nothing, but they were still kinda rude about it, you know? And I tried to explain the reason he prolly called them and didn’t just let me take them is that I have a 6 week old baby, and prolly didn’t want me to have to leave. And then they were like “well, can’t your husband watch your baby?” and I’m like, well, yeah but my husband also has to be at work in 4 hours, and if I’m sitting down at netcare with my brother a.) who will watch the baby when he goes to work and b.) how will he get to work, cause the only car we have is at net care. And then I also don’t think my brother wanted me to go into the hood at 4 AM (which is where all the netcares are)

Anyway, so then I end up taking him cause the cops suck. (not all of them, obviously, but it’s the few bad apples that make the whole barrel stink, or however that saying goes. I mean again, I get their dilemma, but you think they could have come up with a better excuse besides “we’ll have to do paperwork” that just makes them sound really lazy.) But, the people there at least were nice. They ended up admitting him. He couldn’t see a doctor today, but apparently the doctor who read the report thinks he should stay in this 3-5 day program they have that’ll get him started on therapy and meds. He’s supposed to see a doctor tomorrow. I guess the nurse told my mom that he told them that last week he went so far as to cut up a sheet to hang himself with so, that’s fun.

I’m just glad he’s somewhere getting help. But, I was a little pissed at him. On the one hand, I went through this a couple years ago when I was 17, so I kinda know what it feels like and you don’t pick the moment when you finally break. For on the other hand, my mom tried to take him to netcare yesterday evening, my Uncle tried to get him to go yesterday afternoon, (and my bro lied and said netcare was closed, which is dumb because they don’t close. They’re a crisis treatment place, and everyone knows crisis rarely happen during business hours) and then we tried to get him to go at midnight last night/this morning, whatever…. And yet he chose to come to my house, knowing I have a newborn and don’t sleep much as it is, and then waited till 4 am to decide to go. I mean, again, I get that he didn’t really “choose” and he did try to get the cops to take him, but I was still annoyed. And really, really tired.

12 11 2008
lara21167

Witchey you are a very wise and spiritual woman. And it’s funny the past few years I’ve been tring to figure out why I am supposed to be with my husband, because I have always felt I was. I thought I was supposed to help him in some way. I think I’ve finally figured out that I am the one “being helped” by myself. I have learned independence (I’ve always relied on men for certain things and my husband doesn’t do half the time such as checking the oil in the car, putting air in the tire simple things like that) that has led to more self confidence and feeling more accomplished and able, if you know what I mean. And I’ve always had a problem taking up for myself and I seem more able to do that. Now I feel I am ready to move on. Just need to figure out how to go about that 🙂

Janey-yes men are weird and I must say older men flirt with younger girls because it makes them feel young. And for whatever reason they think the girls are flattered. My husband does this, I’ve seen him coming out of a store, see a young girl and say somthing.(I don’t think he’s being totally rude though) the girl will kind of smile he’ll walk away looking like he’s thinking “I still have it!!” ANd the girl will have this disgusted look on her face like “ewwww why did that old dude talk to me” I tried to explain this to my dear husband but he thinks I’m being jealous or petty.

Cloey- Yes when it rains it pours and that is with everyone, you’re not alone. I do hope your bro gets the help he needs. At least he knows he can turn to you when he needs to. The police, I don’t know, police can be so nice and helpful or they can be total jerks guess it just depends on the person. And I do understand it is not their job to take people to get medical attention on a regular basis. But since they were there they could have called an ambulense or just take him theirselves. I mean what would they do if he was totally freaked out and was a danger to himself or you, would they have taken him then or take him to a holding cell? Keep us informed and we’ll send some possitive vibes your way….

12 11 2008
Clo

I mean it’s not the police’s job to take him to the hospital or whatever, but if you’re thinking suicide, or you’re around someone who is threatening suicide, that’s who you’re supposed to call.

The part that makes me most mad about the police is they obviously weren’t listening to me, because they acted like I was the one who called them out, and because of that they were talking to me like I was stupid, and kept saying the same thing over and over. And I kept saying the same thing over and over: I didn’t know he had called until after he called. And you’d figure since they were already there they’d just take him in. But, whatever. I’m not a police basher, I’ve met some really nice cops (and not just because they let me off a ticket or whatever. Some cops have written me a ticket or whatever, and still be super nice and polite about it. I get it, it’s their job.) But some cops are just dicks. I mean it’s like that with ANY job, I guess. I’ll never forget this cop who pulled me over one time… I had met a friend at her house on campus and we all went to the fair together. When we came back, I got into my car to go home. Here’s the thing about campus: It’s all one way streets and SUPER confusing to drive around on. I know people who have lived on Campus for years and STILL get lost, cause once you go down one wrong street, you’re basically screwed. So, even though I lived right by campus, I ended up getting all turned around and lost. To top it off, it was night, meaning it was dark, and like most campus areas it can be kinda dangerous… So there I am, trying to find my way back to High Street, cause once I’m on high I know how to get home, and I see this cop following me. So I stop at the stop sign, and I see highstreets on my left, so I turn on my left turn signal, and turned left. The cop pulled me over for “not signaling my turn 100 feet before turning” or whatever the law is. It was so obvious it was just a BS reason to pull me over… And then he starts harassing me like “You were lost? That’s not true, you live right over there, how can you be lost?” and then he was like “Did you stop and talk to anyone?” and I was pretty much like you were following me for the last 1/2 hour, did I? And then he’s like “Well did you know you just passed by several well known crack houses?” and I was like, Um, no, cause I don’t do crack? I dunno. I told him then he could search my car if he wanted, or give me a drug test, but I was just lost and wanted to go home. Then he left without even apologizing or making sure I knew how to get home. I mean, he was just a dickhead.

As for my brother, he’s supposed to see a doctor today, so… We’ll see what they have to say. Thanks though, for the good vibes.

12 11 2008
lara21167

Yes cops, just like anyone else can be good or bad, I saw this young woman cop one time, they were doing random seatbelt checks along the road and randomly would pick a vehicle going by to pull over, anyway this cop signals this van to pull over and it kept going. SHe jumps into the street screaming for the van to pull over and it still keeps going she has her hand on her gun like she was getting ready to pull it and start shooting these people. Then an older cop walked over to her and you could tell he told her to chill out. It was really kind of funny.

12 11 2008
Gabberjazz

Hey Ladies:

Clo:
I am sorry to hear about your brother.. I hope the doctors realize he needs help and they actually help him.. I know about the cop situation even thou Ihave a badge saying I am law enforcement I am not a cop so some of the young rookies don’t understand that yes I can speed to the prison if there is a page that a riot or something of that sort is happening and they actually call the police departments in the area and tell them that we are responding to a call in the prison. I had this one cop try to ticket me and tell me that I was out of line for talking to him the way I was I think its all with the ego depending on the cop you get. I will be thinking about you and your family today….

Witchy:
I am the kind of person that needs to rationalize things. I need the whole picture. Um as for dating people from work I have but now I am staying clear of the men from there… Sure they are great friends but I am not the type to sleep around or cheat on anyone so I figure I will stay away from that stuff with fellow guards. We actually all got together this weekend at one of the guys I have never had so much fun…. we were all drinking and having fun when I said some thing that was very sarcastic towards my partner lets just say I never knew I could run that fast My partner is the fastest on the ERT he runs a mile and half in less than 10 mins I ended up in the freezing cold pool with him. Fun times….

As for this thing with my BF or ex boyfriend He has a daughter of his own who is the same age as my oldest daughter. I love the little one as my own and we get along great. She cuddles and asks where I am. But his exwife has it in his head that he’s not a great father and he shouldn’t be with someone who has children… anyways he messaged me telling me that he can’t sustain a true relationship at this time. So we exchanged our stuff last night . He came over and I gave him his things we chatted about nothing for a few then he was about to leave and I said you don’t have to go if you don’t want to he said oh I thought you wanted me to go. I said no you can stay so he did we chatted about the kids and what we did that weekend and then he got up to leave and he hit me with his sweater I told him it smelled good because it smelled like me. I never washed it before I gave it back. It just didn’t feel right saying good bye so I called him on it I said to him it didn’t feel right saying goodbye whats up? he responded what do you mean whats up you don’t want this to be done and in all reality neither do I but I cannot give you the attention you need/deserve. I haven’t responded to him. I know I want this to work and I know if it does we both have to both be on the same page but how do we get there.

12 11 2008
lara21167

You know in defense of the police they deal with alot of unsavory charactors every day, so I guess they develop a cynical approach to people. In a good cop story my husband got pulled over for speeding once and he hadn’t changed his license since we had moved. Instead of giving him a $100 speeding ticket he said he’d cut him a break and just give him a $30 ticket for not changing his address.

12 11 2008
Witchypoo

Hi, Ladies, and good morning. Hey, Cloey…yeah, sometimes cops can be assholes; I’m surprised that you were given such a hard time about your brother, though. I mean, you’d think that most cops would be perceptive enough to read a situation accurately – like the fact that you have a newborn in the house, your brother might be a danger to himself, some outside help is warranted, etc. They just didn’t want the hassle of doing the paperwork and all that; is it any wonder that the average citizen views most police men/women with a certain amount of leary skepticism? I’ve run into nice, reasonable, helpful ones, (like the two who showed up when Jerry and I first moved in together, so long ago), and I’ve also had the displeasure of dealing with some real pricks. Was that last one you were talking about insinuating that you were driving around looking for crack, or something? Durrrr…that was it, wasn’t it? I’m kind of naive’, uninformed…whatever you’d want to label it – about crack, “hard drugs”, etc. I mean, like I’ve said before, I grew up/”came of age” during the wild, hedonistic 80’s, so it’s not that I haven’t seen drugs/drug abuse/serious alcohol consumption, etc…(my own family members were quite an education in the alcohol department, also prescription pills), and I did my share of partying, also. But, I always managed to stay apart from the really ugly, desperate scene that sometimes takes place: you know, guys trying to bribe you with substances to get you into bed, making compromises you wouldn’t even think about making in other circumstances, etc. Yeah, I managed to steer clear of the really bad, dismal side of partying. Though, with my family’s genetic makeup, I was definitely playing with fire; brain chemistry that doesn’t deal well with substances, (alcohol/drugs/nicotine…anything, really), is genetic. We’re “predisposed” in a sense, to either struggle with moderation, or not. Obviously, it’s not quite that simple…but anyhoo, I guess I’m off the subject, (once again). I remember when I was about 19 or 20, my best friend, Keri, and I were out driving through a small, somewhat “hickish” town to get to a popular partying/socializing spot on a river. My piece-of-shit car at the time broke down yet again, and we needed help pushing it to the side of the road. A cop car shows up, and out jumps a scrawny/scruffy-looking cop with BROWN teeth, smoking a ciggarette. His manner was rough – very “Good Ole’ Boy”…he kept calling his partner, (obviously a trainee), “Boy”, while barking at Keri and I. He actually yelled at us to “RUN!” when he wanted us to move to my car to position it better. I couldn’t believe the nerve of that stupid, loathsome little twit…it was like a scene out of a movie. We had some, uhmmm…how to put it delicately?…naturally occurring, giggle/munchie-inducing plant-material in the car, (just a little, we were pretty moderate, and this was a long time ago) – so, I was reluctant to get in his face about his behavior, like I normally would have. Anyway, the weasle finally left us alone…we got a ride from some friend – I don’t remember who, (it was so long ago). I was so disgusted by this guy’s behavior. Also, when Jerry and I were newly married, he had shoulder-length hair, (really pretty, well-kept, though), and he’s pretty imposing-looking, (tall, muscular, dark-brown hair…he’s 1/2 Japanese). Anyway, I get the impression that he can make other males a little wary – and this was especially true of cops back when he still had the longer hair, drove a camaro, etc. Never mind that he’s always been reliable, sensible, and (mostly) law-abiding…even during his younger, wilder days. This one cop was so rude to him after making us pull off for no reason, (there was some kind of accident, we were inching by slowly, and he waves us to the side of the road). So, he’s talking to my husband like Jerry is some kind of suspect…I started getting pissed, asking what he thought he was doing harrassing us, etc…I think that the camaro had a tail light out, or some stupid thing – that was just an excuse. After I started getting mad, (this was on our way home from work…I was in a dress and heels, Jerry was obviously just a guy driving home during rush hour), this guy noticed that my seatbelt wasn’t up to code, or something, (I don’t remember what exactly was wrong with it…it worked, but something wasn’t good enough, apparently). He started threatening to ticket me for the seatbelt…I got his badge number, told him off – it went like that for awhile. Anyway, he wound up letting us go after that fun exchange…he was just an idiot looking for an excuse to be a dick. That kind of opened my eyes a little about what guys go through, (especially younger ones), with the police/other men, sometimes. Until then, I didn’t really understand why Jerry didn’t want to take me certain places that I thought would be fun and “interesting”, and he thought could possibly get him in a fight, or just turn into some kind of hassle for us, instead. He thinks I’m somewhat naive’…(maybe about some things, not so much about others). You live and learn, I guess. Every profession can harbor fuckfaces, hugh? (Hope you don’t mind the obscenity).

Take care.

12 11 2008
Clo

Yeah, I mean, I’m not here saying all cops are dicks, but some are… And you’d just think that being in a profession like that, that can kinda have a bad rap anyway, that you’d try a little harder to be… Not necessarily nice, but at least professional. And it just blew my mind that they actually said “well, we’d have to do paperwork”. So. What. That’s a part of your job. Get over it.

But I did just talk to my brother, and he seems in a good mood, but it makes me nervous. It seems like this is the pattern. He feels better (because he’s getting help, and I believe they gave him some medicine as well. At least, he said he had a panic attack and they gave him something for that.) and so he thinks he’s OK, so he thinks he doesn’t need help anymore, and so he stops, and we’re right back here. I’m just SO tired of taking one step forward and 2 steps back. And I mean, I’ve been there, and when I got put in a mental hospital, I was SO angry at my Mom for doing it (luckily I was 17, so it was a juvie place, which I hear is TONS better than an adult facility) And it was a LOT of work getting better. Sometimes I was even like “why am I doing this, it hurts worse than it did before” but when all is said and done… I wouldn’t be who I am now, or where I am now. And I wish he would realize that.

Anyway, I keep meaning to pass along this website that I found that I LOVE (at least, I think I’ve never posted it on here before) but check out http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com I think it’s totally hilarious.

12 11 2008
Witchypoo

Cloey…I forgot to tell you that I sincerely hope your sweet, troubled brother, “Kissy”? , manages to find some sort of path to follow out of his personal hell. I don’t know why…but it just seems like some people come into this world and, almost right from the start, experience more struggles in Life than others. I know that some people also help to create, or add to, their own difficulties…but sometimes it almost seems inevitable, given their circumstances since childhood, you know? That’s why I don’t normally pay a lot of attention to individuals who come off as self-righteous, or overly opinionated about others’ troubles…that saying about walking in another’s shoes before judging is applicable most of the time. Wish your brother well from all of us, Sweetie…sending the positive, healing vibes his way.

Take care.

12 11 2008
lara21167

ok 2more good cop stories, Witchey’s car trouble made me think of them. If I am alone and have car problems I absolutely have a panic attack, other drivers are down right nasty blowing their horns for you to get out of way and having a car that won’t start back up. This has happened to me more than once. Anyhoo the 1st time I was 18 my daddy had bought me a brand new car for graduation. Ok he paid the downpayment and payments for the first 2 years (I wasn’t that spoiled) and the dumb car quit running in the middle of the road and wouldn’t restart. A very nice cop stopped, pushed me off the road and I think called my father for me. ANother time on my lunch break from work the dumb car I was driving quit and wouldn’t restart, again i’m in the middle of the road and another very nice cop stopped he and another person who stopped pushed me into a business’s parking lot and the cop went into the business to make sure they wouldn’t tow the car, then took me back to work. Now that’s how police officers should act.

12 11 2008
lara21167

Cloey I don’t even know how you can get through to your brother that these meds are just temporary fixes. To really get well he has to work through it just like you did. But how do you convince someone of that? I don’t know I think they just have to figure it out on their own.

12 11 2008
Clo

I mean, I’m not a med hater either, meds can help big time, and they really did help me, but they aren’t quick fixes, and you do need to pair them with some hard work in therapy… And, I mean, you also have to stay on the meds, even after you feel better, you know?

12 11 2008
Gabberjazz

I have a question to just put out there:

Do you let go of some of your needs to make it work with someone, knowing that if it works you will be happy?

12 11 2008
lara21167

I think you’ll have to elaborate Gabber. I mean it really depends on what your needs are and what you are giving up. You may be happy in the short term but in the long run misserable. Relationships are all about compromise but still you both have to meet halfway.

13 11 2008
Witchypoo

Gabber…damn! I just somehow deleted what I just wrote. Ok…here goes: Lara said it well – you probably need to elaborate a little. I mean, it depends on the kind of “needs” you’re referring to. If, say, you want porn 7 days/week, and your guy can only stomach a go-round with it, say, 3 times/week…then, yeah, sure – satisfy yourself a mere 3-4 times a week, instead…meet him halfway. If, on the other hand, you need more clear communication between the two of you to feel happy and secure in the relationship, to really connect with him, then you’re talking about a much more serious compromise. I’d say in the grand scheme of things, if you’re getting the great majority of your emotional/mental/physical needs met with your guy…then smile and enjoy. You just have to follow your intuition…(I’m not always so great about listening to my own emotional compass; I don’t alway tune into my own “needs”, or feelings about specific issues…still learning). Fortunately, my husband and I are pretty much in sync, and always have been, about most major issues. We’re well-matched and mated emotionally, physically, and mentally. So, I guess I don’t always do the work of figuring out what it is I want or “need”…if that makes any sense. Anyhoo…I’m getting that you and the guy aren’t over yet; you’re trying to make some kind of decision. Just remember that you have options – you’re not obligated to make any huge sacrifices to hang onto any guy, Gabber. Make sure he’s worth any compromises you decide to make in the name of your relationship with him. Let us know how it turns out, and take care.

13 11 2008
Witchypoo

P.S….Gabber, obviously, I was being a silly ass with my first example of “needs”; I thought I should clarify that so you wouldn’t think I was making light of your question/dilemma. The one problem with communicating through the written word is not being able to read facial expressions/body language to determine meaning.

Also, Lara…thanks for your nice comment about me being spiritual; I can be, but I have to giggle my ass off picturing what that nasty woman from last week would think to hear that. Heeheehee…it all depends on who you ask, I guess. We’re all multi-faceted, aren’t we?

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