I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody

6 01 2009

GOOOOODDDD MMOORRRNNIIINNGGG. Closing in on the afternoon for some of you. Getting used to this West Coast time.

Sorry Its been a little while since I’ve even commented. I havent had great internet service at my apartment and everything is SOOOOO dishevled right now.

So. LA. Fabulous. Exciting. Exhausting. It’s been great. I spent the first night at a cousins house. Wait. Rewind. Lets just go through that lovely first day lol.

I get into town after almost missing my flight (w/ the dog ON the plane of course) and wait for almost an hour for them to take the dog OFF the plane after we landed which of course drove me NUTS. Freaking out the whole time. Ok not freaking out, but I was worried.

Dad arranged for a driver to pick me up because I had no car and Boo was working and we hadn’t really figured things out yet (yea I’ll get to that). La-di-dah, huh? So driver gets me and takes me to the car rental place where I rent a flatbed truck (WOOOOO, have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE trucks. I love dating guys with trucks. I love driving trucks. I just love trucks). After I got the car I went over to the apartment, signed my life away and was no longer homeless. GREAT apartment. I’ll send pictures when it’s put together.

A friend (mutual one of me and boo) met me at the apartment and we did the target and Ikea runs, built a bookshelf and just kinda hung out and did our thing. I don’t think I would have made it through that day w/out her help. Spammers if you’re reading THANKS!

After she left I called the dude and he invited me over since I had NO TV. I was going to my cousins that night but she was flying in from FLA too (holidays) and didn’t get in till like midnight so I didn’t want to be alone. So I packed up the pooch and went over to his place where I was greeted with the biggggggeesssttt bear hug. It was tough. Not because I was sad but because he just smelled SO GOOD and it felt SOOO GOOD to hug him. He’s like the BEST hugger. I’m not used to dating guys larger than me (heigh and weight) and he towers over me by almost a foot and definitely weighs more than me so I feel all proteced and safe and everything. Got another bear hug after I left and had a fun night w/ my cousin.

Woke up the next day and had a call from him. Wanted to tell me he had a strange dream about me (I was a werewolf) and could he come see the apartment after work. I said sure and went about my day. Made some felt animals which I’ll post up later. (Really!!!) He also invited me to a New Years party which was AWESOME. I like his friends a lot and it was at a friends house that I already knew pretty well and some other guys I knew were there too. Since he saw my apartment I’ve only slept at mine a few nights. He’s either with me or I’m at his place. I think we both really just needed some perspective and less pressure on what had to happen or not. So its been good.

I have a friend in town. He’s been great with her, showing her all the tourist stuff that ever native angelino HATES. Even took us to Six Flags, Magic Mountain. Road the rides with us. Had a great time.

Well now my friend is mad at me. (Thus the title today). She’s been so..statuesque, and not in the “oh shes gorgeous” way (although she is a very attractive person), but in a you’re acting like a statue, dude, kind of way. Just constantly on the phone IMing her boyfriend back in FLA and its like pulling teeth to get her to say “yea lets do this” or have a conversation or show emotion. So last night I got fed up. She didn’t want to go out and I did. I trucked around all weekend with her doing whatever SHE wanted to do and fine, if she didn’t want to go out I did and I was over babysitting trying to get her to do something. So Boo, myself and a friend of his went to a show, had a blast. Saw a guy dressed like a freakin Bunny, drinking beer through his costume:

OK the picture isn’t working but I’ll figure that out later.

Anyway had a great time. Had a few beers. Good music. Well decent music. Hit up the Taco Truck. All in all a good night.

 

Well we got back to Boos and his friend left and he asked me to stay and just wake up early to get to work. I said fine, texted my friend that I had a few too many and was going to bed where I was. She responds “great so you’re leaving me all alone in this apartment, whatever.”

 

Look, I’d understand if she was like I want to spend more time with you, or less time with him or just TOLD Me what she wants. But she isn’t and I was tired of prying and why do I WANT to sit in my apartment and watch her play on the phone all night or listen to her talk to her boyfriend. I kept asking if she wanted me to stay, that it wasn’t a problem at all, asked what she would want to do, kept begging her to come out with me…. but you can only pull that game for so long before I get frustrated and say I’m done trying to please you, so I’m gonna go do my thing and you are MORE THAN WELCOME to come with me and if not then its your deal.

 

I have a feeling there is gonna bea  confrontation tonight. Honestly, I won’t be upset if there is one. It almost needs to happen. I may be doing something and I don’t know what it is so she needs to tell me, even if she’s mad things aren’t gonna get better till someone says something. I know we’ll work it out. I mean we’ve been friends for 10 years. Boo doesn’t understand why since I’m so social and bubbly and loud and she’s been like a statue. Shes not normally like this. I mean everyone has their days but cmon you’re on vacation. BAH.

 

SOOOOOO how is everyone doing.

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64 responses

6 01 2009
Clo

Rowdy! I’m glad you’re back! And are you back with boo or trying to figure things out or what? As far as your friend… Yeah there does sound like there will be a confrontation, but there also sounds like there needs to be. I mean, you’re right, there’s only so much you can do, and if she really didn’t want to sit alone in the apartment, she probably should have gone out with you, or given you another suggestion of what to do, you know? But, everyone gets in their funks, for whatever reason, so maybe she’s just in one.

I am in a funk, over Cayden’s birth. Again. I keep trying to let it go, but… I don’t want to say it was a dissipointing experience because I did get Cayden… It just wasn’t what I was expecting. And it was hard there for awhile. I felt like I didn’t get to bond with him, I felt like he didn’t know that *I* was his mommy, cause so many other people were taking care of him. And now things are OK, I know he knows who I am. He’ll stop crying for me, and he looks for me, and so that part’s amazing. And while I’m bummed that I missed out on some stuff for awhile there… I can get over that. What I can’t get over is how my husband and family acted afterwards. True, Jeremy had just had surgery and was prolly a litlle out of it himself. True, it was a shocker to everyone that I’d be having a baby right then, and it was the first baby so… Maybe they just didn’t know how to act. But… I dunno. My friend Natalie had her baby. Her husband brought her her favorite flowers, and a teddy bear. A week later her gave her a journey necklace and earrings. My husband? Doesn’t even know what my favorite flowers all. He not only didn’t bring me flowers (or anything) but he also left me alone in the recovery room. I wish I could get over it, but I don’t really know how.

Anyway, I told him we have 3 big events coming up. My birthday, Valentines day, and our first year wedding anniversary. If he doesn’t do something romantic for one of those?

Oh, there will be such an explosion.

6 01 2009
lara21167

Rowdy glad things are going well. Did you start your new job?? If so how’s it going? The friend, sounds like she’s really really missing her b/f. Good luck with the confrontation that is sure to happen. Glad things are better with you and Boo. I kinda had a feeling he just had cold feet.

Cloey, We are getting a bit of an ice storm, wondering if you just had one lol. If not this will prob go your way. Regarding your unromantic hubby, I think you’ll have to spell out what you want from him. some guys are just clueless on romance.

6 01 2009
Clo

We really haven’t gotten any winter crap, and I kinda miss it. I know once it gets here, I’m going to be like go away… But, our winter stuff usually hits hard later, like last year we got a HUGE snow storm in freakin MARCH, so… I’m also kinda worried about what’s to come. I honestly never go outside anymore, lol. Not good I know, so I’m not sure what the weather is like anymore. It seems like whenever Ohio gets hit with winter weather it’s always to the north and south of us. Columbus is where I live (well, Dublin, but same diff.) and it’s in the middle, so we tend to get missed. I know yetserday or the day before they said south of us was getting a winter weather advisory. I just checked wather.com, and it says we have a winter weather advisory. I guess at 3:30, we’re supposed to get light rain/freezing sleet for like an hour… Then rain later, then a “wintery mix” in time for morning rush hour, and then snow tomorrow. Probably more thna you wanted to know, lol. I’m reallllly bored.

I mean I tried spelling it out for him. But a.) he didn’t do it, and b.) I get kinda angry anyway, cause then I know what’s coming, and it’s not a surprise, so not really all that romantic, you know? So then I told him, you can look up how to be romantic online, you can talk to my best friend Brook (who he knows, so it wouldn’t be awkward for him to ask) but do SOMETHING. It would be different if he admitted that he sucked at romance. But he swears he’s good at it, and I’m like, oh really, then where is it? He says I just don’t know what romance is… And I do. I think he’s the one who’s confused. He’s very thoughtful. Just not romantic, and there is a difference. And I’m not expecting him to turn into a romeo or whatever. It’s just once in awhile, a romantic gesture would be nice. And I thought any idiot would know to bring their wife SOMETHING after she gives birth. Especially after everything I went through. But nope. Not even a freaking card. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, and he just kinda… I don’t want to say blow me off, cause that implies he doesn’t care, but… I dunno, I feel like he just doesn’t get it.

6 01 2009
lara21167

Yes I’d say he just doesn’t get it. And I don’t know how you can make him get it. Sounds like you tried about everything. Anyone have any ideas??

You are prob getting this storm we got. It’s coming from the South so we’d get it first this time. In hagerstown here, we usually miss all the really bad stuff too. We have mountains all around us and they kind of block storms, most of the time. I paniciked this morn, I kept my daughter home from school. First day she’s missed all year!! But we walked out and it was sleeting hard and I knew it was supposed to keep it up all day. I just hate the idea of my kids on slippery roads on those buses!! And our County won’t close school anymore unless it’s real bad. They did dismiss 2 1/2 hours early so I don’t feel too bad keeping Kristy home.

6 01 2009
Clo

Yeah the school I grew up in never closed either, because they didn’t have busses, so I guess they thought if parents thought they couldn’t get their kids to school they just wouldn’t bring them? Either way it sucks.

I can’t wait till Cayden’s in school. Not cause I want him gone all day, but because I want to do what my Mom did for me. She’d randomly show up and till the school I had an appointment…. And then we’d go to the zoo, or to eat, or something fun. I just thought it was special.

We may be getting another dog. *sigh* my husband will kill me. I dunno if you guys have ever heard of craigslist? It’s amazing http://www.craigslist.org, you pick your state, and then your city, and it’s kinda an online garage sale. You can check postings in different catagories (like animals, baby and kids, stuff, they also have a free section) and also post in different sections if you have something for sale… And if you see something you want/need, you email them and can buy it. Of course, since it’s online, you gotta be careful. We never have people come to our house when we sell something (cause Jeremy thinks some people might use that as a way to scope out your stuff to come back and break in.) and I never go anywhere alone, I always meet in a public place or bring Jeremy with me. Anyway, so I’m addicted to it (cause we’ve gotten a lot of NICE stuff for cheap. Like our dvd video camera is a 600 dollar camera, we got it for 75 dollars. Of course, you also have to be careful and test things before you buy them, because sometimes people try to scam you by selling broken stuff, or fake designer bags and stuff) I get on today and in the pets section there’s a posting about a puppy that’s in a rural shelter, and if nobody adopts her she’ll be put down on thrusday. Her adoption fee is only 10 dollars. So if no one else offers to take her, I think I’ll try to talk Jeremy into taking her until we can find her another home
*sigh* I’m such a sucker. We don’t really have the money, but. I cant let this adorable puppy die.

7 01 2009
monkeyspeaks

Clo – how do you talk to your husband about it. I mean do you get upset and say “why don’t you do this for me… so and so does it for me,” do you guys normally FIGHT about it or do you sit down and say something like “Hunny, I don’t know if I have told you lately how much I appreciated you doing [inject nice thing here] and how happy I am to have a family with you. I know you are busy and I know you love me as much as I love you, but don’t you tihkn it would be nice if maybe [inject romantic idea here].”

Like with boo and I, lately if something happens i try and keep it REALLY neutral. “Sweetie, I did not mean for my statement to come across like that, but it seemed like that to you and I’m sorry. I did not mean to miscommunicate what I want and I’m sorry if my actions came across as negative, it wasn’t intentional.” We usually drop things pretty quickly now. I mean now has only been a week but whatever lol.

If you HAVE tried it sweetly, what about “Hubby, I want you to know I do appreciate everything you do for me, and I know you work really hard to provide a good life for cayden and me, but It would really make me feel like a million bucks if we interjected some more romance in our lives. And yes you are romantic in your way but right now I’ve been having a tough time with things and it would really make my day if you did the little things like: [ask for VERY SPECIFIC THINGS].

Part of this may be you getting over knowing whats coming. I know you want to be surprised but some guys just SUCK at that. Thikn about it this way – he’s a guy… and guys (according to my therapist hahahaa) NEED to be told specificically what we want because they can’t interpret anything “do something romantic” to us means, a picnic under the stars. “do something romantic” to them is them doing the dishes for us. (OK a guy cleaning the house IS hot but whatever lol). I thought I was being clear with Boo but all it did was put pressure on him to be my boyfriend and that wasn’t want I wanted. When we FINALLY spoke and really communicated I was like I don’t want a boyfriend, I just really enjoy spending time with you and want to get to know you better.

He interpreted my feelings as “I NEED YOU NOW” and it was more “i miss spending time with you and can’t wait to get to know you as a person better”

So yea, speaking of romance – he brought me and my friend up to this GORGEOUS overlook of LA and I got to see the whole city sparkle. She was cold so she got into the car after a minute but we stood outside a bit longer and he wrapped me up in a bear hug and said how it was his favorite spot in LA. (btw, wanting to go back there i asked him if he could take me back there one day when it was just us…. gotta be specific Clo. See, I know what he’ll do but I don’t know WHEN.)

And sometimes you gotta look for romance in weird places. Like he did all this touristy stuff with my friend and I and to someone else that may totally be something that they expect their guy to do with them. Girls friend is in town, she wants you to ride around, you ride around. But he HATES HATES HATES touristy things and he TOTALLY drove us around hollywood for three days doing everything she wanted to do. I know he did it to spend time with me and that to me, was REALLY romantic.

Ive never gotten flowers from a guy so, i guess those little things do it for me lol.

I dunno if that helped CLO. lol.

7 01 2009
lara21167

Speaking of romantic, I do have to say something positive about my hubby. I’ve been pretty negative about him lately so anyhoo he can really be great with romance in silly ways. When we first started living together he always stuck love notes in odd places that I’d find. Like on my orange juice in the fridge or somewhere he new I’d fine. And it might just say “I’ll be thinking about you” or just “Have a good day” And he’d Pick flowers. And I mean stop along the road and pick a bunch of wild flowers. He actually stills does that once in a while. And one thing he did after I had Kristy, I think it was the only time I really had post partum (sp) depression. I was watching soap operas on TV all day and just crying my eyes out because these men on the soap operas just loved their women sooooo much and I didn;t have anyone who loved me like that (yea pretty good after baby depression) And my hubby came home from work, he was working as a welder and he had this piece of metal where he actually welded words on it and it said “I Love You Laura” It was just what I needed. So I mean he is good in that way. Now I got none of that with my first Hubby but he gave me a more stable life. Good provider and all that. If I could take qualities from each man and make one man I’d have me the perfect man lol.

Clo let us know if you got the pup. I can’t stand to see animals put down either. There is a lady in my town who would take in animals and find homes, dogs, cats and whatever. It is hard to do that especially she didn;t charge adoption fees or anything. But I could see you doing that Clo.

7 01 2009
Clo

I’ve talked to him every which way I can think of. I’ve written it out in letters, I’ve spoken about it face to face, I’ve yelled, I’ve been calm, I’ve been direct. I’ve given ideas, and I’ve given him places to GET ideas.

We had a HUGE fight over it not too long ago. I was REALLY upset by the way I got treated after I had Cayden. I’m working on trying to get over that, cause there’s nothing that can be done about it now, but it REALLY hurt my feelings. I just felt… Left, you know? I felt left in the recovery room, because… Well.. Everyone left me. I mean I get that the baby was number one, but you’d think they would have taken turns or something. Hubby says “well I was tired, I wanted to go to the room and lay down.” What, I wasn’t tired? Turns out I had pancreatitus for like 3 days, I had just gotten done with being 9 months pregnant and taken care of you, sleeping on a recliner for most of the days (or barely sleeping at all.) Bringing down our queen size mattress by myself so we could both get some better sleep. Then I had to be cut open and gave birth to a baby. You don’t think I was tired? I would have expected that all I went through warrented SOMETHING. Cards, flowers, a stuffed animal. Jesus, a mere “Thank you for going through so much to deliver our son.” Then I went through my ERCP, and we had a HUGE talk before that, about what had happened with my c-section, and how upset I was that he was going to be working during this procedure. I was scared, I had no idea what these things entailed, how bad they hurt. There were also risk with any procedure, and I was scared something would happen to me. I told him all this. We talked about it.I told him how much it bothered me that I went through so much with the c-section and I felt like he didn’t appreciate it. Which brings me to the gallbladder surgery. I thought since we had recently had all these talks about leaving me, and me feeling like I was in this alone, he would get it. And who leaves me alone at the hospital? Oh, yeah, that would be Jeremy. And he can’t for the life of him figure out why I’m so pissed off.

So we did have a rip roaring fight after that where I actually left (drainage tube and all.) Carrying the baby and walking off. I eventually came back because I felt like I was going to pass out, but…

Then we talked. And I told him that I didn’t understand why I had to do this every time, why I had to tell him EVERY time how it needed to be. And I understand if the situation was a different situation, and maybe he wasn’t sure how to act, or even if the situations were a few years apart or whatever. It was the same thing. I was going through a scary procedure, I need you to be there for me. Each surgery was a few weeks apart.

I’ve written letters, I’ve talked to him, I’ve told him, if you did x,y,z I’d really like it. I’ve dropped house sized hints so he can get the idea “on his own”, I’ve told him to talk to my best friend, I’ve yelled, I’ve cried, I’ve stopped talking to him.

My husband? He just doesn’t get it. Last night I was hungry. I saw a commercial for ihop and really wanted pancakes. Hubby offered to go make me some. When he came back with them, I said “Now this is very thoughtful.” and he was like “No, it’s romantic” and I was just like “Um, no, it’s very thoughtful.” And then he told me my idea of romantic is messed up and wrong and that’s why I don’t think what he does is romantic.

Which isn’t true. And I told him “Waking up early to make me breakfast in bed, is romantic. Offering to make me pancakes when I’m hungry? Thoughtful.” And he just told me I made no sense. But I’m like, even if you think my idea of romance is wrong, why don’t you DO my idea of romance, and then at least I’ll think your romantic? Ugh.

I mean it may just be that I have to suck it up. My husband is a hard worker, and he does take care of me. But I mean… I just think once or twice a year isn’t asking too much, you know? I dunno. I told him point blank the other day “We have my birthday, Valentines Day, and our 1 year wedding anniversary coming up. If you don’t do something romantic for ONE of those days, you’re in for a whole mess of trouble. You can ask Brook, I can give you some ideas, you can google it online for all I care, but I need SOMETHING.” I mean, they’re a lot of big days close together. Valentines day is 2 weeks after my birthday and our 1 year is almost 2 weeks after valentines day, so… but I mean, he can manage one thing, and he better do it, or I’ma rip his head off.

We used to pull dogs all the time from kill shelters and rescue them and re-adopt them out. But, it just got to be too much. Kill shelters don’t really do any vet care, and so we’d get dogs coming to us with worms, fleas, ect. And even small issues like this, we didn’t really have the money to fix. Plus we had a housefull of our own animals, and if they all caught something even small like worms? We’d go broke trying to rid them all of it. I emailed the lady and she said she had several people inquire about the puppy. So I’m hoping someone got her. The problem is, the dog is in Jackson, which is like a 2 hour drive, and my hubby says we can’t do it. They shorted his check of Christmas pay, so right now we’re REALLY tight on money and can’t afford the extra gas. So… We’ll see.

We didn’t get hit with a lot of snow. It barely covered the ground. We’re supposed to get more later, but we’ll see. They always warn us of these big storms and then we don’t get anything. Our winter has been really mild this year. I’m hoping it doesn’t make up for that later.

Cayden isn’t sleeping through the night anymore. *sigh* I knew it was too good to be true. It may be another growth spurt, but I kinda hope not. We just went out and bought him all this 6-9 month clothes, and if he grows out of them already? But maybe it’s just a mental growth spurt. He goes down at 11, and then wakes up between 4-5, then again at 8-9, and then for good around 11-12. So I guess it’s not TOO bad.

7 01 2009
lara21167

yea that’s not too bad for a sleeping baby. We got lucky with the ice. It got on the grass and trees but it didn’t get cold enough to even freeze on the sidewalks or anything else. I didn’t even have to scrape my car. But it’s raining and dreary!! I just don’t know what to tell you about Jeremy. He really just doesn’t get it, does he? And I’m afraid you may have to just except that. Concentrate on his good qualities. When I had surgeries, I’ll use my sterilization as an example. A lady I worked with dropped me off at the surgery center. My hubby had to work and could not take off. So I was all alone before the surgery and I felt soooo scared and lonely. Of course he was there after, when he got off work. Ok another surgery, I think it was my biopsy on my cervix. Hubby was with me. He was sooo nervous he seriously got on my nerves and I sent him home. Figured out I did better by myself.

7 01 2009
Clo

I dunno. About the romance thing, sometimes I can accept, and then other times… I just don’t think asking for something once a year is all that bad. I don’t want him to be Cassonova, that’s just not him, and it’s not really what I want anyway. But once a year, c’mon?

I dunno. I don’t think I have post partum depression, but my mood bounces. I would have no problem asking for help if I did think I had ppd, but I think it’s just my hormones going back into check from having the baby. Most days I’m happy and normal, but then I seem to hit a few days of just…. Funk. And then I get upset over Cayden’s birth all over again and all that jazz. And like I said before, I kinda know it’s not fair, cause he can’t change anything now… I just keep waiting for him to do something, make an attempt. I dunno.

7 01 2009
lara21167

I don’t know what to tell you Clo, he just doesn’t seem to comprehend. So good luck. In February We have Kristy’s birthday, my birthday, valentine’s day then our anniversy in March. So we have alot at once too. And right after Christmas. lol

7 01 2009
Witchypoo

Cloey…I wanted to send you a quick, “Hi!” and let you know that I’ve read your thoughts about your hubby, and I will respond after I get home from my day of running around; I don’t want to just throw any old thing out there…since it’s a touchy subject, and I don’t want to somehow make you feel worse. Lara’s right though: he just doesn’t quite get how important this is to you – YET. Sweetie…he’s a young man, and that breed is not known for always being super-intuitive about female feelings. Believe it or not…if you keep up the patient communication with him – I’ll bet he comes around eventually; you two have only been married a short time. I have a feeling he is symbollically scratching his head over this, (even considering the fact that you are letting your needs be known). He does sound like a loving husband who feels a little overwhelmed with all the new demands of being married, with a new baby. Yes, I know…you’re in exactly the same boat – but females, in general, are just A LOT better at the relationship/emotional needs thingy-ma-jigs…you know? More later…and take care.

7 01 2009
Janey

hey guys. ts up?

Rowdy-glad your bak with your boo and everything is workin out for you.

soooo i broke my phone cause Ezi and i were aguing about it. one of our mutual friends was txtin me sexually explicit things. i figured he was drunk so i ignored it. no big deal, right? WRONG. i was in the shower when he sent another one and this time Ezi saw it. why he would just pick up my phone and go through my messeges is beyond me. anyway i get out of the shower and we immediately start arguing. he tells me that im “too pretty and wear your clothes too tight and thats why all my friends want you and THATS why kevin killed him self. i told you it was your fault” then he said some other things that upset me and yea some of the things he said hurt but i dont think he meant them so im just like whtever.

the phone. i asked if the phone was he problem. he said “i dont want guys texting you” so i went to the closet and took out one of my heels and i samshed the phone until it was nothing but broken/cracked metal. then i said “there problem fixed” he was sooooo mad. he was like “i bought you that phone. thats a three hundred dollar phone” oh well. it was a problem so i fixed it. then i reminded him of the comment about my clothes. so i took a garbage bag and i threw ALL the clothes i had in his closet in it. told him that from now on id be wearing his jeans and his shirts. then i grabbed Oreo and left. i havent answered any of his emails, or calls to the house. hetting a new phone tomorrow lol

anyways so today i dyed my hair and it came out sooo cute!!!
i have to go get about an inch cut on the part thats red so that
you could see the black peeking thru the bottom. you could see it i just
wanna make it more obvious. lol. after the style IS called peek-a-boo. lol

postin pix on myspace as soon as i find my camera.

8 01 2009
Clo

ugh. I too was fighting with my man, Janey. Will post more later, when he’s not around. LoL. Right now we have someone coming over to look at two of our cats to possibly adopt them. We may also be getting a puppy or 2 to foster until we can find them new homes. I know it’s a lot, especially with having 2 other dogs and Cayden, but my bleeding heart can’t take knowing that there are puppies out there who will die just because they live in a shit county where no one adopts. I know if we bring them here, they’ll be gone in a flash. So I have to do it.

Hubby was the one who suggested two. I think he’s trying to make up with me.

8 01 2009
Janey

awww Clo- i think you’re awsome for taking animals in. i LOVE animals and i hate when i see stray dogs wandering the streets and stuff. completely heart breaking. soooo i think what you are doing is great. and yes i think that your hubby wants to score some extra points with you lol

my man on the other hand. i wouldnt care if he brought me a piece of heaven itsself, he’s still an asshole and i never want to see him again.

i miss Kaitlynn and i wish i could join her wherever it is that she is. if you guys dont remember Kaitlynn is my friend, the one who committed suicide. soooo that being said i probably wont be around much for a while.
my life is a bit crazy at the moment and im hating it and myself

8 01 2009
Clo

Janey- I know it may be rough but I hope you’re not thinking of doing anything like your friend did. I know sometimes it may seem easiest and like what’s best, but honestly, life always gets better. You’re stronger than that. Ezi said some mean things, and they aren’t true. I think Ezi needs some therapy. One, what he said to you is pretty much emotional abuse. Two, he obviously hasn’t come to terms with his friends death. It is nobodys fault but his friend. It was a selfish decesion to make. I’m not saying your friends were selfish, but that choice IS VERY selfish.

And hon, if you isolate yourself, its most likely going to make you feel worse. I know a time out and time by yourself is sometimes a good thing, but sometimes it just makes you feel even worse.

As far as the puppies, good/bad news. We aren’t taking any, which makes me a little sad, cause, I mean, c’mon who doesn’t love playing with a puppy? But the good news is, we aren’t taking any, because a rescue offered to step in and pull all 13. Which means no puppies die tomorrow. At least, in that shelter.

8 01 2009
Witchypoo

Holy shit…’09 off to a bang-up start, hugh, Ladies? Janey, not being personally familiar with Ezi, it’s probably not completely fair of me to comment…but he IS being emotionally abusive with all the crap he’s spewing at you, (judging by the content you relayed to us). He has no right talking to you like that, whether or not he’s turning green with jealousy. Lots of guys are VERY territorial, jealous at times, and possessive of anyone even remotely moving in on “their woman”…yet they still recognize and respect the boundaries of decency regarding how they talk to their wife/girlfriend. I think Cloey is right: Ezi needs to get some kind of therapy/help to work out some of the issues he has rolling around in his head. You know, it’s a common problem for men, (and women), who have come close to cheating to kind of place that guilt on…or redirect it toward – the partner who they almost and/or did actually – cheat on. That sounds kind of confusing after I read it; I’m saying that some people become overly suspicious/paranoid regarding their partner’s fidelity after having some sort of incident themself, (such as, Ezi flirting with the idea of cheating with that girl you told us about). It’s ironic and unfair…but pretty common. I don’t deal very well with my honesty/integrity being called into question, and I’m married to a pretty possessive man. However, I can’t recall a time where he actually crossed the line and spoke REALLY disrespectfully to me – like Ezi did to you. That kind of talk is NOT a good sign of a healthy attitude for building a healthy relationship. Sweetie…you need to set him straight now – before you become any more entrenched in this relationship with him. You’re very young…no children with him…not married yet; now’s the time to make any changes that are required for you to lead a happy, emotionally fulfilling life. You were forgiving and strong enough to give him a second chance when he hurt you with that other girl…he needs to treat you with the same care and concern. Let him know that you WON’T stand for that kind of bullshit treatment/talk.

Hope I didn’t piss you off, Janey…I just feel it’s important for your friends to be honest with you right now; sometimes it’s hard to see objectively how dire a situation is when you’re on the inside of it…someone with an outside view sometimes has a clearer perspective.

Take care. (Btw…don’t even CONSIDER what you were alluding to regarding what your poor, unfortunate friend did, Sweetie – and don’t cut yourself off from the people who care about you; isolation is NOT the answer to your troubles).

8 01 2009
Witchypoo

Ok…I’m back. Cloey, you sound a little better than you did earlier, (judging by your last couple of comments). It does seem like Jeremy is trying to show you he cares. You know, I was thinking: maybe he’s just having a hard time expressing himself in the manner you’re looking for when it comes to romance. He might be resistant because he’s self-conscious about being overtly, traditionally, “romantic”; many guys, (especially younger, newly-married ones), feel at-a-loss when it comes to displaying these softer gestures. It’s outside their comfort zone…and they think, “I’m doing this-and-that for her…shouldn’t THAT show how much I love her?”). Like his way of cooking for you: it’s a way for him to demonstrate a little TLC toward you…without making him feel silly and out-of-place about it. I’m just making guesses. I also can’t stress enough to you the nature of a Taurean…especially a male one: they are VERY practical people, and not given to flights of fancy. To these men…love is demonstrated and experienced through the senses: they equate food, cuddling, (yes, sex, also), “warm & fuzzy” offerings as proof of strong feelings. Taureans value the tangible and the practical; most of the time, they’re uncomfortable with and distrustful toward overly-flowery, overtly sentimental speeches and/or actions. I’m not suggesting that they don’t FEEL these more dramatic emotions; however, usually, a Taurus male will have a more low-key way of demonstrating them, (i.e…making you pancakes when you’re hungry). One way to soften him up and put stars in his eyes, Cloey, (thus, possibly making him more receptive to your suggestions of romantic gestures), is by touching him in a comforting, affectionate way – often. Taurus is a very physical, sensual sign, appreciating and requiring daily hugs, maybe a shoulder rub or back massage…affectionate kisses on the cheek – simple things like that. He probably won’t think to ask for those gestures – but it will impress upon him how much YOU love HIM. I have no idea if you’re very physically demonstrative or not…but I have a hunch it can help ease your way into his brain – if you know what I’m saying, (and I think you probably do, Smartie-pants). Hahaha…you know what I mean, right, Cloey? Like I’ve told you before, you seem to pick up on and understand perfectly subtle ideas/points without requiring an overt explanation from me; simpatico, yes?

Hope I haven’t been overly familiar and presumptuous regarding your relationship with your husband; I’m just trying to express what my intuition is telling me about what you’ve said.

Take care.

8 01 2009
lara21167

Good Morning ladies. As always very good advise Witchy.
Janey, don’t withdraw, we are here for you. So talk to us.

8 01 2009
Clo

Witchy, I’m a very physical person. I’m constantly touching him in some way or another, holding his hand, rubbing his cheek, kissing him. When we first started dating we got into a fight about cuddling – he just didn’t do it. Turns out he never did it with his ex wife, so… Now he loves it. The only time I really hold back is in front og people or in public. And even then I’m still touching him, hand holding, whatever, I’m just not a big fan of let’s suck face in front of everyone.

I dunno, I know he’s never going to be that guy who wows his girl with romance on a weekly basis. And that’s OK. I would end up getting bored with it. I’m just having a really hard time with how he treated me after Cayden’s birth. How everyone (not you guys, but I mean everyone who was actually there) treated me. I think I was just dissappointed in Cayden’s birth in general. I mean, I hope that doesn’t make me sound horrible, because I don’t mean I’m disappointed in Cayden, or upset that I had him or anything. I just expected it to be one way, and it came out totally another way, and then I was sick for so long that I really missed bonding with him for awhile. I mean now I feel like we’ve bonded, but it was tricky there for awhile. And I told him last night, I keep bringing it up because I’m still really upset about it. And I keep hoping that you’ll take it and do something, anything to try to make it up to me. And I keep waiting and waiting, and you don’t and everytime I just get so disappointed.

I dunno, we got into a rip roaring fight yesterday, in which we both said some really mean and ugly things. Which, is totally usual on my part, it’s why I have to be VERY careful when I’m angry, cause I tend to be VERY mean, and then I feel INSANELY horrible after the fact. This time I felt so hurt and fed up that I couldn’t keep it in, especially when he said something along the lines of “I don’t know what you want, you don’t tell me” because that’s total bull. I’ve told him SEVERAL times, in several different ways, which he did admit to later, he just “forgot”. So that just made me feel like he either didn’t care, or didn’t listen.

Then he tried to tell me that if I left him he’d take Cayden from me. Which I know sounds like a horrible threat or whatever, I mainly think he said it cause he was pissed and I had said some really mean things about him, so he was trying to retaliate in the best way he knew how.

It was just a mess. And then my Mom pissed me off cause I called her to see if Cayden and I could spend the night… I just needed some breathing room, you know? And she said No. She always says no. Which irks me to no end because a.) If I decide to leave my husband, that’s my choice. And I’m not saying I was going to do it this time. But if I ever do, it’s MY choice. b.) I don’t understand why she doesn’t get that sometimes when there’s a heated argument it’s best for all parties to step back and take a little break. I can’t really take a break when I’m sleeping in the same bed with him, can I?

She said she didn’t want to hurt Cayden like that. I’m like, he’s 3 months. He’s not going to know that once when he was 3 months old his Mommy needed a break from his Daddy and went and stayed at Grandma’s for a night. Besides the fact, I told her that Cayden was my son, and it was up to me to decide what would be detrimental to his health and that I would never put him in a position where I thought he could get hurt. Then I told her, Cayden gets VERY upset when we argue, and I was more worried about him if we stayed here, cause chances of us fighting again were high. To which she finally agreed to come get me and strated acting like it was her idea all along. I told her not to worry about it, cause I know my Mother and if she says no the first time, and then later changes her mind, all that means is I get a guilt trip about it later. So then she infers that she’s again worried about his safety because she doesn’t know where I’ll take him. I’m like wtf? Like I’m just going to take him out in the cold, and snow (cause it did snow, and is freezing now.) and knock on some random persons door? Yeah, I’d really do that with my 3 month old. Ugh, it really offended me. I think because my Mom took care of him so much in the beggining, she sometimes forgets that she just isn’t a part of the big decision making, unless I ask for her advice, you know?

Anyway, he ended up making up with me. WHo knows if he’ll make it up to me? All I know is that if he doesn’t do something big at one of these next 3 upcoming events, I’m really going to leave. And I told him that. Everyone wants to say that “Oh he’s a man” and “You’re a woman so you can suck it up and deal with the stress” and I don’t really think that’s fair. I think as long as we offer that excuse, then men can act however they want.

I busted my butt taking care of him when he had knee surgery. Then I turned around and had 3 surgeries of my own, all while caring for a newborn. I should at least get a card with a “Thank you for all you did” note. The thing is, I know he CAN be romantic. We wrote our own vows and his were amazing. I don’t think asking for him to do that once a year is all that difficult.

8 01 2009
Clo

Oh and Janey I hope you’re doing better today sweetie

8 01 2009
Gabberjazz

Hey everyone,
Sorry It has taken me so long to post things just have been crazy here in BC lol.
Wow I see everyone is doing well with christmas and the new year. Mine was quiet which I didn’t mind at all.

Hope everyone is well….

8 01 2009
lara21167

I hate fighting in front of the kids. No matter what age, it is stressful to them. Unfortunately we are all human. Funny thing is I don’t remember my parents ever fighting, and I mean ever. I remember one fight between my sister and my mother, and I totally freaked out. I had a vision of my sister grabbing a knife and stabbing my mother and it was soooo real in my head I just starting screaming and crying. But I wasn’t used to anyone yelling at each other like that (and it was mostly my sister yelling). Now when my hubby and I fight I try to send my daughter to her room. She refuses and always has my back, which just makes things worse. I mean I’ll say something and she sounds like an echo agreeing with me. I don’t know how to make her understand the disagreement is between her father and me not her. And Cloey men always say they’ll take your child from you if you leave them. They know that is the most important thing to you and they just want to hurt you for hurting them. Same thing with Ezi, Janey, he felt hurt so he said hurtful things to you. Doesn’t make it right but that is why. Hope you are ok Janey. I keep tring to get her on myspace, but she hasn’t been online.

8 01 2009
lara21167

Hi Gabber nice to hear from you. How is the pregnancy going? Does your ex-partner know yet?

8 01 2009
Clo

Gabber- We missed you, how are things going?

Laura- I told him he wouldn’t take Cayden from me. I mean he’s never been alone with Cayden. Ever. Strike that, he’s been alone with him once or twice, I think when he went grocery shopping. But that was back when Cayden was really little and sleeping all the time. I told him if tried to take Cayden from me I’d run away and he won’t find us, and if he did manage to find us and take him, I’d kill him. Which I probably shouldn’t say here, cuz if anything happens to him now they’l be like “You threatened him” but, I really think any mother would probably say the same thing. I mean, if Jeremy and I were to split, I wouldn’t be against visitation or anything like that, but… Taking him away from me all together? Would never happen.

Speaking of getting in trouble with the law, I’ll also be in trouble if anything (God forbid) should happen to Cayden, because of my sister. You know that little girl Caylee who went missing in FL? Well my sister was OBSESSED with that story (my Mom too) and they’d watch Nancy Grace (ew) every night about it. Well my sister heard that Caylee’s mom had googled things like “neckbreaking” “shovel”, and some other stuff, so then SHE decided to google everything that Caylee’s mom did, just to see what would come up. I was like, oh gee, great, thanks. lol.

8 01 2009
lara21167

That is sooo horrible about that little girl. Sooo adorable. I haven’t been obsessed with it, but that guy that found her body they said he called repeatedly over time until someone finally listened. So he knows something. But I guess they haven’t determined it is her yet. idk just horrible. And yea Cloey he wouldn’t stand a chance in hell of taking Cayden from you and he wouldn’t even want the responsibility of him full time. It’s just hurtful talk. From the way you’ve talked about Jeremy, I think you got a good guy, just needs “training” as they say. lol

8 01 2009
lara21167

And I meant Caylee was adorable, the way I wrote that didn’t sound quite right.

8 01 2009
lara21167

OH and I meant Jeremy wouldn’t stand a chance. I should proof read before posting.

8 01 2009
Gabberjazz

Hey lara
the pregnancy is going well I haven’t gained much weight and you can’t even tell yet as I am still working out. No I have not told my ex partner yet I just don’t know how to tell him. He has talked to me telling me that he still loves me and that if it was a different time and place we’d be together but he’s in love with me and his gf and doesn’t know what to do. I just left it at that. I just wanted Christmas to be good and go from there. I am also asked to go back to the prison where he works. so I have to take that job so I think I need to tell him sooner than later and just finding the word to tell him is key …

Clo.
I think alot of couples that are fighting say things they don’t mena when its a heated conversation. I really don’t think he would take Cayden from you as most sensab;e men know babies belong with mommy,unless mom is proven unworthy. Plus he wouldn’t know what to do if he was alone with Cayden day in and day out.

janey:
Hun keep your head high, we are all here for you,

8 01 2009
Gabberjazz

P.S As for the words I am kinda liking

“I am having your babay so now you have to deal with it”

a bit harsh lol?

8 01 2009
Witchypoo

Snicker-snicker…I like it, Gabber – who cares if it’s harsh or not?

Take care. (more later, Ladies).

8 01 2009
lara21167

I agree pretty good Gabber, kind of just puts it out there.

8 01 2009
Clo

Gabber you should join babycenter.com, all other moms can too. Or if you’re trying to concieve. I love it. I’m kinda obsessed with it a little. Anyway, they have boards for single moms, as well as due date boards.

And Rowdy, how’d it go with your friend?

8 01 2009
monkeyspeaks

Hey guys –

Janey – whats up. We spoke yesterday about the phone trashing incident… she seemed somewhat ok in that exchange but I dunno.

This is way out of my realm but to be Frank, Janey, I wonder if its time for a break from Ezi. I don’t just mean a few weeks. I mean go out, figure out what you want from school, where you want to live, what YOU want. I know right now emotionally you WANT ezi but I also KNOW you don’t want this BS rollercoaster he is putting you on. You are young. I mean YOUNG. I used to hate being told that but the reality of it is I am young also. When boo and I ended things it was tough at first but I just kept telling myself, im practically an infant and if he isn’t going to give me what I want… no… what I need… then I’ll find someone who can and will. (Yes we are potentially getting back together but don’t forget we are a weird instance… the LD, the tension, age, etc).

Anyway – maybe it’s time to think about taking time for yourself. That also means no contact. But at 18, 19 – you shouldn’t be worrying about the Ben Harper relationship (reference to his song Forever). And if its as abd as it seems right now (emotional abuse and property destruction seems bad to me), then it may be time to get out. Im not saying it’ll NEVER work out, but im saying right now, I don’t think it’s a healthy place for you to be. You’ve already expressed the desire to go discover yourself. This is the age to do it. Don’t wait around for someone (I mean wait in every sense, emotionally, figuratively, literally – him finishing HIS school. Etc). Go do what you need to do for you.

Gabber – Im sorry you’re going through this mess! What the guy said though would piss me off. Im in love with you and my girlfriend? No screw you buddy, it is one or the other. I don’t care what your dick is in love with. Guys like that are the type of guys that figure they should always have the best of both worlds. AND the truth is, if he is doing it to “someone he loves” he’ll do it again to you if it were to come to that. Beware of men who love too much. If he were in love, he wouldn’t be sleeping with anyone but that person. I get people have weak moments and im for forgiveness but his MO seems like bullcrap to me. I know that’s me being blunt but its just MHO.

CLO – you have every right to set boundaries. I’m sorry your mom is being a bitch but do you think in the long run she’d leave you like that? (im asking). I agree with you – it’s much better to take the child away from the fighting vs fighting and trying to force something. At any age it makes a major impact whether you realize it or not. I’ve been in therapy for years because of the toxic environment I grew up in. Dad got very depressed once… didn’t get out of bed kind of depressed (which is why I think he freaks when he sees me mimick that, because he knows whats going on) and I’ve cleaned up after my parents fights at a young age. The last one, 6 years ago (not saying they haven’t bickered but there hasn’t been a FIGHT). I told them I was done. I was in town from college and was sweeping up a lamp and made them sleep in separate rooms and spoke to them individually and said they either needed to find help or just get an effing divorce already. I told them to sleep on it. The next day dad was in anger counseling and soon after they enrolled in marriage counseling. They are doing GREAT now but as a kid… it was tough. Could you imagine your child telling you to just get a divorce so that she wouldn’t have to deal with the bullshit anymore?

I never really brought up the confrontation with her. We just kinda let it go. Boo called and said we would just see each other today and spend time with my friend on her last day… so we went to dinner and she packed and I dropped her off today. She said she had a great time so fine by me. I’d rather leave on a good note than a bad one. And now im free to do my thing ya know? Hopefully I’ll see boo tonight. I don’t see why not. We’re sorta supposed to but its kinda weird. We broke up because of high expectations. Got back together because the pressure was off and realized we watned to give it a real go. Never SAID anything like that but its kinda obvious. And now it feels like we both just kind of expect to see each other. I don’t have plans with him but its like, yea of course I’m gonna see him today. He’s bringing me fishing this weekend too. I think. I asked him to do some sort of healthy activity with me this weekend and suggested hiking one of the trails here. He said no, fishing and dog park and walk around the lake w/ dog. And I’m gonna start running tomorrow am. So I don’t know. BUT I have my game tonight (8 est) and I don’t have cable and he wont be home in time for the game so I kinda want to stop by a bar and watch it first.

OK so serious problem – I dunno what’s up guys. I HAVE OLD LADY HANDS ALL OF A SUDDEN. I used to have really tight skin on my hands. Not weird… just young and healthy. Now I have hang-nails, my skin is peely and my fingers are wrinkly. UGLY. I don’t know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions? I think its because of the new climate but I want my pretty hands back. What’s the point of paying for a manicure that I can’t really afford if my hands are gonna look like crap anyway (I need a manicure btw).

8 01 2009
Clo

Rowdy- My Mother would never leave me. She would have come and gotten me. But, I most likely either would have to throw a huge fit in order for her to do so, or she would have done it and then we would have argued about it later because she would have acted like it was such an inconvience and yada yada yada. Just how she is. She stayed through two crap marriages. She left and divorced my dad but was working on things when he died. My Stepdad did A LOT before she finally kicked him out. And I know a split can be hard on a kid. But from going though all that, I know that sometimes it’s a lot harder if their parents stay together. I know you know what I mean. So in the end, it was just too much for me to argue with her in order for her to come over.

Rowdy, old lady hands…. Laura sells Avon now. Laura do you know of any creams and stuff that would help that? I dunno. I’ve never had that problem. I’m not really big on skin care stuff. I don’t really wash my face (I mean, in the shower, but I’m not one of those people that do it in the morning and before bed. My skins really dry, so I usually have to put lotion on it after I even get out of the shower.) Anyway, but the biggest problem I have is dry skin. I don’t usually have it, only cause I can’t stand when my hands are the slightest bit dry. So. My suggestion would be lotions or creams, but I can’t tell you which would work best.

And Janey, I agree with Rowdy. I mean I know you love Ezi, but you don’t want to be like 50 and looking back on things and wishing you would have done something. If you’re really meant to be? You’ll end up back together.

9 01 2009
Witchypoo

Hi, Ladies…how’s it going? We’ve been running around all day; Beau & Chance had their allergy shots today, and on the way home, we hit a weird slow-down that had us on the same stretch of road in a traffic snarl for over an hour. That threw off our schedule…I’d planned on getting us back home in plenty of time for Beau to eat dinner before racing off to Lacrosse practice. As it was, he had to run in the house, throw on his equipment, and run right back out the door with Jerry. Then, they get there, and only one car is there; the lady said everyone else had turned right around and left. So, I’m standing at the kitchen counter dishing out dinner onto plates, and in walks Jerry & Beau. Apparently, practice had been cancelled at the last minute. That’s fine…it’s rainy, cold, and dark anyway, & they got to eat dinner before 8:00 – a definite perk. Anyhoo…so, I wonder if Janey is doing ok. It kind of freaks me out to read her thoughts on identifying with her friend who committed suicide recently; I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to be dwelling along those lines. I have a feeling she feels pretty dark when things are difficult between her & Ezi; while that’s natural, I hope it’s not the norm for how they interact with each other. I don’t know why I’m talking about her like she’s not here…probably because she said she wouldn’t be around for a while. Are you reading, Janey? Don’t let yourself become too used to being in a relationship that’s constantly filled with angst, insecurity…suspicion & anger. I don’t know how much these emotions factor into your and Ezi’s day-to-day interaction…but beware of any overly-controlling, irrationally jealous males when it’s a PATTERN of behavior, (anyone can display these qualities once-in-awhile – when under pressure). I don’t know that Ezi fits this description or not – but take note. You don’t want to be trapped into a relationship like that; it’s errosive and destructive to you and your self-esteem, Sweetie. Just try to keep your eyes open enough to stay somewhat objective about what’s in your best interests; I realize that it’s hard to see clearly when your heart is involved, but only you can ultimately determine what – and who – is good for your well-being. Ok…there’s my speech, Janey. Check in and let us know how you’re doing when you feel up to it.

Goldie…the golden child rises yet again from the ashes of despair. Alright! I have NO idea why that image/description pops into my head when I think of you…probably because you can seem so down and out for a few days; then, POOF!…everything turns around and your skies are sunny again. I’m very happy that things are looking up for you; you can relax a little now that you have the move out of the way…started your new job, (I’m assuming you started, anyway), and you and the guy are enjoying each other again. You seem to be optimistic and…I don’t know…serene? No, that’s not really the word – just in a generally positive frame of mind, I guess. That’s so great; keep enjoying yourself, Goldie. Btw…besides topical creams, I can only suggest treating your skin from the inside out…do you take omega 3 supplements? The fish oil helps to keep your skin, hair, and nails healthy and hydrated. Also, foods such as walnuts, (really beneficial), and avocado are helpful, since your skin, hair, & nails utilize the natural, healthy fats in these foods. I’m pretty sure you probably drink plenty of water…considering what I’ve read about your healthy eating habits/knowledge of nutrition. That’s all I can think of right now, (other than trying not to have your hands in water too much…and wearing gloves when you’re cleaning). Oh, yeah…you can try a really rich night cream on your hands and wear gloves to bed a couple of times a week, (kind of extreme, and you probably won’t be trying it when you and the guy are having sleepovers, hugh? But, I think it might help, if you want to give it a try).

Cloey, it kind of sounds like you and hubby are engaging in a cease-fire, for now. Is that correct? It hurts to get into such emotional, exhausting confrontations with the central person in your life, I know. I definitely understand why you feel you were let down during the whole process of Cayden’s birth; being left alone by all the important people in your life, (especially Jeremy). I would feel abandoned if that situation happened to me…without a doubt. Add to that the REALLY highly emotional state you were naturally in after giving birth…and it’s no wonder you can’t seem to get those negative, lonely feelings out of your mind. You should not have been left alone like that – and you have every right to feel like you were left out on a limb. One big positive that I can see is that you actually acknowledge the negative emotions…and you’re looking for a way past them by telling Jeremy about it. I know he’s not seeming to be really receptive right now…or completely empathetic about your feelings of abandonment and disappointment in how it played out at the hospital. Believe me, though, Cloey…it’s better to get this out now than to push it all down, ignoring the negative. Things like that have a way of coming back to bite you in the ass: feelings of resentment, displaced anger, maybe some low-level depression…all that can result from avoiding unpleasant truths. I know this first-hand…I spent YEARS avoiding my negative emotions regarding my parents – especially my mother. I have a tendency to intellectualize my feelings…rather than just FEELING them – the old-fashioned way, you know? Hahaha…anyway, after many years of denial, I finally acknowledged some things I’d been avoiding. Yeah, the shit hit the proverbial fan…but it needed to happen for me to take that weight off my shoulders. You seem to have a natural instinct for figuring out what makes you happy – and what doesn’t. At least, you’re better at it than I am. At 22, 23…there was no way I was going to get into all that; it would have been better for me if I had. So, I think you’re on the right path, Cloey. Hopefully, Jeremy will eventually begin to recognize better what some of your EMOTIONAL needs are; he sounds like he’s pretty good at taking care of you in other, more tangible ways. Ah, love…compromise, compromise, compromise…what are you going to do, you know?

Lara…you always seem to have a kind, encouraging word for everyone. I just hope there’s someone in your life who takes care of YOU, too. It seems like the really sweet, capable people get overlooked sometimes, doesn’t it? Are you feeling better after the crappy migraine and illness? I hope so. Can you get your hubby to give you a nice back massage…maybe make you dinner? Hmmm…I wonder if he realizes how lucky he is to have a great girl like you. Probably does.

Take care, Ladies.

9 01 2009
lara21167

Good Morning Ladies, guess what my home computer is finally up and running. yay!! Verizon people had to come out 1st guy didn’t get anywhere and he had to call a second guy. And as it turned out, something in the outside wires. Hmmm I think I had said that from the beginning and everyone said no that’s not it!!

Rowdy – exfoiliate first, then use a very rich hand cream or body butter. Witchy’s idea of the gloves at night is great. Now 1st what I found in Avon is for foot care, will work great on hands as well It’s the Foot Works collection 1st a Cleanser and Conditioning soak item # 253-108 for $3.99 then the Thermaal Exfoliation Scrub item # 625-833 for $7.00 Then I’d try the Overnight Renewing Cream Item #422-622 for $5.99. You can check these out on my website http://www.youravon.com/lbiser. Ok enough with the sales pitch I do have to recommend a Mary Kay product because it is wonderful. It is a bit more expensive, I think around $30 but soooo worth it. Don’t know the name but if you know a Mary Kay rep just ask for the “hand” stuff and she’ll know what your talking about. It is a 4 step process, a cleaner, scrub, something else, then a rich moisturizer but your hands just look and feel great no matter how dry or nasty they are lol. Otherwise you can pick up a facial scrub and some body butter anywhere and that will at least help.

i’ll be right back….

9 01 2009
lara21167

Ok, Janey we are all worried about you. As with Rowdy I was “talking” to her when she was doing her hair, and seemed fine. And Janey I’m still waiting to see the picture!! Just let us know you are ok. And think hard about what Rowdy said, she makes alot of sense.

Witchy my hubby will give me a massage if I want one, and I desperatly need one. But he has like these really strong hands and I wind up all scrunched up because it hurrtttsss!! so lotion helps he can’t get a good grip. Problem is he likes to “squirt” the lotion straight on my back instead of in his hands first and warming the lotion in his hands. So the whole experience tends to be more stressful than relaxing!!

9 01 2009
monkeyspeaks

Witchy – I don’t take supplements although I should. I DO drink a ton of soymilk and Silk has two new versions out – one with added fiber and one with the fatty-3s so I get one of each when I go shopping (i’ll drink two gallons of soy milk a week, EASY… and that doesn’t include what I get at starbucks and what i have at work since ppl here drink it too). And avacado – one of my FAVES. I don’t eat walnuts as much since I try and cut back on all fats… but I do love them and will munch on them if they are around. Almonds too.
Yea, you have a good grip on my personality. Its part of what I deal with and why I’ve been in therapy for almost 3 years now. It’s not bi-polar but its a bi-polar tendency. The name for whatever my “issue” is sounds way worse than the reality. Hyper-manic depressive. Manic is the really bad one. Hyper is the less intense. Although it always seemed backward to me. No voices or weird stuff… just….. something can trigger a bout (like a break up). I have gotten much better though. Back in the day anything minor could send me in a downward spiral – not getting invited somewhere, being ignored, not being able to afford something I really wanted. Those triggers were never AS intense as like… rejection, a big fight, etc. the former i’d just get cranky and mood swing and the latter could send me into a dark room for days. I was NEVER suicidal but I’d hole up for days…. my worst (and I odn’t know why we didnt diagnose me then) was when I was 20 and my first love broke up with me and I couldn’t move. My mom drove up to school to pick me up. I dropped out of the summer courses and spent a month in my bed at my parents.

NOW, I handle it better. I may not go online as often if I’m having a rough time but thats mostly because Im forcing myself to be out and about and keep busy. Yea there were a few days where it was tuogh when boo and i broke up and even though i had a small feeling this would happen i forced myself to believe it was over. When i got here it was a pleasant surprise to realize we both wanted to move forward. Now his friends all call me the GF (i mean they say my name lol but ex, i bought his buddy a pack of smokes and his response was “dude your gf is awesome” and then he went to a friends house w/out me – i was with another friend – and this one girl who i met on new years apparently gushed to him about me… so we’re settling into a good groove).

speaking of smoking – we are quitting. Which sucks cause I just bought two packs. BUT I told him to set a date and we’d stop. Last night we were going to dinner after the game. WOOOOOO GOOOOO GGGAATTTOOOORRRSS WHATS UP!!!!!!! WHAT YOU KNOW BOUT THEM GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

soryr..

and so i had started smoking one upstairs but he aksed me to out it because he didn’t want the apartment to smell when his roomate got home. I mean we smoke in front of the roommate but we try and keep the place aired out, especially when we arent there. So i got two drags and doused and went to smoke one outside and he commented on how i smoke a lot back to back. I mean I’ll go hours without one and then smoke 2/3 within a 2/3 hour period… and then not smoke again for a while. I got upset and he was like look im just observing….. mind you he was smoking one while we said this. He offered to share it with me instead of us each having our own but i was like no its cool, im good… i was a bit embarrassed…. and we talked about how all his friends are quitting so i said how about you pck a day and we stop. so he has to pick the day and its done.

it was kinda cute cause he asked if i was sick o fLA yet and i said no not at all and he said good cause im not sick of you being here. i know that may come off as weird but i guess if you know him you understand lol. he’s a very sarcasitc guy with a very dry sense of humor.

Clo – i hope things are getting better. i don’t know how to put this so i’ll be bluntish… its not harsh…. just an observation and something I had to learn. I totally agtree w/ you that your guy needs to be more attentive. You are doing the right thing by flat out asking for what you want and you deserve it. they way you got treated was bogus. but sometimes it takes guys a while. my dad used to be the most unromantic person in the world – then after my parents went through their therapy he started doing cute things like making the coffee in the morning for her even tough he doesnt drink it or leaving little happy faces everywhere for her to find (he’d draw one every morning and hide it for her). now i tihkn the happy face thing is uber romantic and while the coffee thing seems like its just considerate of him, the truth is, to a lot of guys, THAT is romance. So what I was gonna say – you have every right to want a certain thing – but maybe look into the littlet hings he does and see them as romantic. Like getting up and cooking you pancakes is thougthful yes, but to a totally unromantic guy, he IS trying to woo you. Im not saying you are getting on his case at all, dont get that… but maybe next time he does something little praise him big time instead of telling him it wasn’t good enough. Im wondering if he maybe gets disheartened because he thinks he is doing something romantic and then gets shot down a bit. you and I know you appreciate the little things he does but he may not know that. AND why dont you start doing tiny little things for him and see if that jumps off his own romantic side. You got him to cuddel didn’t you? Thats because you SHOWED him how great it is. Do the happy face thing. I know you do a lot as it is but maybe if he sees how great it feels to be shown how much you love him on a regular basis he’ll want to do it for you. dont EXPECT anything but i mean, its worth a shot since nothing else seems to be working. Just get a pad of post its and draw a happy face on it and in the beginning put a little saying like “have a great day hunny!” “you make me :)” silly little things like that and then hide them in places you KNOW he’ll find them. on his steering wheel, on his coffee mug… draw one straight on a banana if he likes those or something like that. maybe by making his day he’ll b e more inclined to make yours…. yea you were a rockstar when he was sick and he didnt reciprocate but guys also have this bogus mentality that we are naturally maternal and LOVE taking care of everyone around us, which is and isn’t true. Just because we might like it doesn’t mean we dont want it in return. So you taking care of him may just seemed natural to him. so try doing little romantic things for HIM (shit, even buy him flowers one day… it could be funny) and see what happens. And remember, sometimes romance is subtle. especially to a guy.

Lara – i’ll check it out! i need a new bra and some shirts for work but if i can afford to get some of the stuff i’ll get it through you. my hands are worse when they are cold. oh and i need a manicure desperately. like, i might go tonight lol. I had to give boo a massage last night. he hasnt really given me one yet but he scratches my back all the time which i love… but he had a bad crick in his neck that i kept trying to rub out. he was in a lot of pain too. i thikn he needs a new bed and pillows. Seriously. his is so hard and his pillows are like all flat and hard. normally im huge on understuffed pillows. I like they way feather pillows that aren’t filled all the way support my neck but these are like bricks. they arent feather… and they suck. I have some extra pillows that i may throw his way but its tough. He says my bed is too soft (is there such a thing?) i say his is too hard. lol. if we ever get a bed together we’re gonna have to get that number one huh hahahaha.

9 01 2009
lara21167

Rowdy I had to laugh about the quitting smoking and the way Boo gave you a hard time. I swear men still have that old adage that it is ok for men to smoke but not women. My husband who smokes more than me always gives me a hard time. Says I smoke way more and I inhale more because I blow out so much smoke, but that is because I don’t inhale deeply. And I;ve been tring to quit too. I did real good this week, that is until I got money for smokes lol. I can’t afford them so I keep saying I’m going to quit. And I start to feel so much better but then light up. And they make me feel horrible!! The best advise I can give anyone is DONT EVER START. 🙂

9 01 2009
Clo

Witchy- Jeremy and I tend to have really intense arguements. But, then they’re over quickly. It’s kinda the way I fight with everyone, which used to be not so good, because by intense I mean I would be really really really REALLY mean. I solated a lot of people and at one point my best friend told me she couldn’t be around me and more, so I worked REALLY hard to quit. And I still have my slip ups but for the most part? I’m doing OK.

The delivery thing was just ough. And I’m trying to get over it because there’s no way to change it now, so what’s the point in being upset over it? It’s just that I told Jeremy I was upset over it a couple times, hoping that he’d do something to try to make it up to me. And he didn’t, and that just made me even more disappointed. Which I told him the other night.

Rowdy- I understand what you’re saying it’s just… Not what I want. I mean, Jeremy is probably the most thoughtful guy in the whole world. But I do think thoughtful is VERY different from being romantic. And I told him this. I told him I’m not downplaying the things you do for me, because they’re great and they’re so very thoughtful, and I love them, but… I told him last night, I don’t think a once a year romantic gesture is too much to ask for. I know he can do it – the vows he wrote for me? Ugh. Broke my heart they were so sweet and loving and romantic. And the best part about that, is I wasn’t expecting them at all. So I told him, it doesn’t have to take a lot of money. And I’m not expecting something every month, or week, or whatever. Just, once a year. Or, on big occasions, like me giving birth to his child? LoL. Especially since it was such a rough event. And I mean I do fault him a lot for that, and I think I have a right too. Cause after my c-section we got into it about how he left me. And I told him not to do that. And right before my ERCP, we got into another fight, because he wasn’t taking me to it. So I just kinda figured when my gallbladder rolled around, he would get it. I’m sick, I don’t feel well, I need you. And then he left me not once, but twice. And that was really just the icing on the cake for me. I should have punched him in his face, then maybe he would have gotten it (ha, can you tell that’s my favorite saying when I’m upset?)

As for me being romantic towards him, been there, done that, not gonna do it again. It was a huge waste of time and effort and that was another big fight we got into, lol. When we first started dating I was working at my old job, and getting ready to kick the summer off being a camp counselor. I usually spent the weekends here and then he’d take me to work monday mornings to leave for the week. I’d get up early and write him a note, and stick it on his pillow for him to find. I also did those stupid camp arts and crafts for him, only when we’d have to decorate something, I’d do something silly like cupcake + noodle (I called him noodle, he called me cupcake) or just something dumb like that.So the Christmas after camp, I was like, I’ll write him a note like I used to do, stick it in his stocking and he can “find” it. So that’s what I did. And that note ended up in the trash, without him even reading it. Why? Cause he’s a jerk, and I guess that’s where he put it. Stupid head.

I’ll do other things, like surprise him and cook dinner, or rub his back/head. But as far as the note go, he can go fuck himself cause that one really ticked me off.

He is trying though, now. So we’ll see how it goes.

And quitting smoking! YaY Rowdy! And I was rooting for your Gators last night. Hubby got mad, he’s like “We do not root for that team in this house” and I was like “Pssssht. The only team I’m required to root for if they’re playing is the Bucks. And they’re not playing so I might as well root for the team that stomps all over us all the time!”

As far as Janey goes… I was talking to her last night as well. And… It’s my opinion (and sorry if this sounds harsh to anyone, or to you Janey) but we can’t really help her. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we can be there for her, and support her, and help her in that way. But…. Some of the things she said to me? I just really thinks she needs some serious help for. And I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m making fun or her or putting her down. I personally have needed help before and don’t see any shame in asking for any, but I know some people hear that and take it as an insult, and I don’t mean that at all.

Happiness is something you have to work at, I think, for a lot of people anyway. And I think sometimes ( I know I used too) people just kinda expect it to happen to them. And then they wake up and realize, you have to MAKE it happen to yourself. I was unhappy for most of my childhood. I had issues, I had things happen to me, I had it rough. And for awhile I tried to use that as an excuse for the way I acted. “I can act like a huge bitch and say and do whatever I want and hurt other people for no reason because I was hurt as a kid.” And then thing is, nobody really cares that your childhood sucked. You can’t really use that as an excuse. Because I’ve come to find out, MOST childhoods sucked. Don’t get me wrong, I have GREAT memories, that I would not trade for the world, but I also have a lot of ones that I spend every day trying to let go of. It’s like at the end of the movie Hope Floats, where the little girl says “My Daddy says Childhood is the best part of your ife. But I believe what my Momma says. She says, ‘Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to get over.'”

I dunno, I’m only speaking about me when I say that, cause that’s how I feel. But, the thing about happiness is, you gotta let go of the things that make you unhappy. And sometimes that’s a hellofalot easier said than done. Sometimes it takes an awfully long time. But happiness is a choice, and once you make the choice to BE happy, it’s up to you that you are.

Does that make sense to anyone but me?

9 01 2009
Clo

I know in our state they give away like 2 weeks worth of the patch for free. However, I also know several people say they can’t use the patch so, lol.

9 01 2009
Witchypoo

Hi, Ladies…what’s going on? Yes, Smartie-Pants-Cloey…what you said regarding people needing to MAKE their own happiness makes perfect sense; I totally agree with you. That’s been my experience, also. Btw…I LOVE the movie ‘Hope Floats’. Sandra Bullock, (not sure of the spelling), has a knack for making movies that seem to speak to the average person – they’re kind of universal. I think Harry Connick Jr. is a doll in that, too…a very likeable personality, (in interviews, I mean). It really is true: childhood IS something a lot of people spend a lifetime getting over. I have some magical memories of childhood, also…but they’re centered around my own observations as a little girl, (like, looking up at the moon and listening to the crickets during summer nights…staring up through the branches of our Christmas trees with all the twinkly lights…things like that. Any happy experiences I had WITH other people, (I’m speaking of adults), mainly centered around my grandparents…which I’ll be forever grateful for. Anyhoo…yeah, A LOT of people have to consciously work on getting over their childhoods, (so, I guess we’re in good company, Cloey…hahaha).

More later, and take care ladies.

P.S…GO SUNSHINE!!!, (quitting smoking, I mean). Also, yup, Lara…most guys want to place us up on a pretty pedestal and think we’re angels or something. I believe it has A LOT to do with small boys and how they see their mommies as the center of the universe…all “pure” and everything. That image of women is entrenched in their central ideals of what Womanhood is.

9 01 2009
Clo

Witchy, I sent Laura a message on myspace that you should read. I dunno how to get ahold of you directly, lol, so Laura said you could just read it on her site. Feel free to email me back on myspace and let me know what you think.

10 01 2009
Monkeyspeaks

I hate when I want toleave a comment and Im not signed in. LoL.

So yea. Had to share with people who would appreciate because boo totally had no response.

I was riding in the elevator and this lady looks at me and goes your boobs look like they are cold. I was like no, they are ok. They just kinda hang out and relax.

(yes I really did say that).
Mind you, I have a tank top on and a peasant shirt over and a zippy hoodie. Im fully clothed and my boobs are not overflowing anything lol.

Boo didn’t give me a reaction to that. But its ok, cause Frad shit on the floor at his office today HAHAHA. I feel bad for laughing.

10 01 2009
Monkeyspeaks

OH and CL sorry, i havent had time to respond yet. Between women discussing how cold my boobs are or aren’t and renaming almost every file in my computer so i can reorganize its been a long day

I need a back rub…. and boob warmers

10 01 2009
Clo

Boob warmers… Could I invent these, and if so, would you buy them from me?

Rowdy, I just saw your status. I’ve heard too, that if you hold in a sneeze your head can explode or something. Cause sneezes are moving so fast. I’ve also heard you can like pop out your eyeballs if you sneeze with your eyes open. Maybe I’ll do more research and find out if either is true.

10 01 2009
Witchypoo

Ok, Cloey…crap! I’ve spent the last HOUR figuring out how to answer you on Lara’s site…I was proud of myself for actually figuring out how to access what you mentioned, then how to answer…yes, a little pathetic, I know, (I mentioned in my answer that I haven’t ever communicated with anyone via myspace before; this is a brave, new world to me, Cloey!) I also included the way to access me privately…this is fun. Baby steps, Girls, baby steps…Oh, yeah: the reason I said, “Crap!” was that I reread your comment above about answering on YOUR myspace…I answered on SOMEONE’S damn myspace. Shit! I hope I didn’t answer in the wrong area, or something. Email me when you get the chance.

Goldie, I’d already answered your boob story here…then somehow I deleted what I’d written when I thought it had been sent. I’ll try again: Humor me and explain HOW Nosy Nellie of the elevator managed to detect ANY details about your boobs when you were obviously fully dressed? Even considering the possibility that your spectacular girls are very generously proportioned…I’d still assume that she’d need x-ray vision to determine if they’re “cold” or not, (even if your nips were standing upright at full attention – to be blunt – they’d still be hard to make out under all that clothing, you know?). Also…kind of weird that she felt the need to COMMENT on the state of your boobs, I’m thinking. It didn’t sound like you know her; do you commonly get verbal observations from strangers regarding your boobs? Interesting….hahaha.

Take care.

11 01 2009
Witchypoo

Hmmm…I just reread what I wrote up there about the elevator boob-lady; I wasn’t intending my comments to sound skeptical about the facts of what happened, Goldie. I was referring to the weirdness of a stranger talking to you about your boobs…(just felt compelled to clarify that, for some reason). Are boobs commonly discussed among strangers as polite small-talk in southern California? That would take some getting used to, I think.

Take care.

11 01 2009
lara21167

Having same problems as Rowdy, not cold boobs lol. Getting here on new (old) computer. Hey I can type and it’s actually keeping up 🙂 This thing is slow. Finally got my bookmarks installed so I can access this site. So Clo my hubby became a dog rescuer. His nephew has a neighbor with beagle pups. Yes I remember clearly what you’ve said about Beagles. Anyhoo the guy was going to kill this pup. So my hubby took her. Now I have a damn pup to housebreak and she is a peeing machine!! I don’t know how old she is I’m guessing about 3 -4 months and the people that had her didn’t seem to have worked with her at all. She just goes whenever and whereever she pleases. I really didn’t want this right now, but my daugher is in love. So I’m stuck with the dog. Yes I do love dogs and she is as cute as can be. I need to get back to cleaning…

11 01 2009
Witchypoo

Yeah, Lara…beagles can be stubborn about learning new habits, for some reason. I mean, most of them are really intelligent, so it’s not that they CAN’T; the books about beagle care all stress that it takes time to train them, and I found that to be so true. They are really sweet, though…very eager, fun, and affectionate. They can gain weight easily once they’re fully-grown, so try not to get in the habit of table-feeding them, because it’s not good for them to put on the extra weight, (yeah, good luck with your daughter around to sneak her new little gal-pal treats, hugh? Hahaha…I know how that goes). We have two – a girl and a boy. They’re good doggies, and my boys love them.

This is fun visiting with you on a weekend. Take care.

11 01 2009
Clo

Laura, beagles aren’t evil they’re just… stubborn, lol. And I will probably never rescue one again but… That’s also cause of where I live… A lot of times people think Ohio and think farms and country and all that jazz. And I mean, it can be. I know what corn looks like and I see farmers, and I live across the street from a bunch of cows and horses (They make stinky neighbors) But, they farm I live across the street from is kinda out of place… It’s owned by OSU and is used for their vet programs and agricultural programs. Anyway, my point is, my city is as city as they come, however, a lot of Ohio isn’t. And the shelters we usually pull from? Are really back woods. And so the beagles that are there have usually never been inside as house (therefore have had no need to be potty trained) and have recieved no training other than how to hunt, and usually the reason that they’re at the shelter in the first place was cause they couldn’t learn how to do that. It’s sad, and I would love to take all of them, but beagles like that require a lot of time and attention, and skill that I just don’t have. I mean they’re also adults as well, and while you can teach an old dog new tricks, it’s awfully tricky.

Your beagle is still young, and probably wasn’t used for hunting. I mean Witchy’s right, there are still common beagle traits, such as the over eating deal. We let our dogs free feed, which means we put down two bowls of food and when they’re empty we fill them back up. We do this cause my dogs only eat when they’re hungry, and I usually end up only filling the bowl once a day, if that. Beagles have been known to eat, and eat, and eat, and eat, and… Well, you get the point. So it’s VERY common for beagles to be overweight. They don’t stop when they’re full.

It will help keep your beagle at a healthy weight, and help with the potty training if you feed it on a schedule (What’s it’s name by the way? And I need to see pictures! I love a puppy, ESPECIALLY a beagle puppy. They’re SO cute with the ears and the eyes…) Pick a time to put down food (and you’ll probably have to look up how much your dog should be eating, cause all the beagles we’ve taken in have actually been UNDERWEIGHT, so we had them on egg diets and and deal.) and then break it up probably into two times a day. Maybe 3-4 for a puppy, I can look for you. Anyway, put the food down at the same times, and pick it up say an hour or 1/2 hour later. The pup may just not eat for a day or two until it figures out it only eats at this time (However, with a beagle, I highly doubt it’ll miss a meal) but it won’t starve. Then after it’s done eating, wait 20 minutes and take it out. Again, with a puppy it may be a shorter time, as they move their bowls more frequently, I’ll have to double check. The peeing thing is harder, you’ll just have to take her out pretty frequently (like once every 1/2 hour or so) and then stretch that out for longer and longer periods, till she gets used to it. And night times going to be hard too, cause you might want to confine her to a crate (which I would DEF get for when you’re not at home. And if you want to do this I can give tips on how to crate train, unless you already know!) or to a certain room so she doesn’t pee all over anything. Dogs will try REALLY hard not to pee in their crate, because they’re clean and don’t want to sit in pee. However, since shes young she may have a few accidents in there cause her bladder is little. I know that may be impossible, since your daughter is in love and probably wants to sleep with the dog! Let me know if you need any help. If I don’t know the answer, I know some really good websites/people that I can ask who helped me out a TON!

Alright I gotta get ready to go. We’re supposed to meet at 4, it’s now 4:30 and nobodys here. Which is OK, cause I really wanted to eat at 5, and said four cause I knew everyone would be late!

12 01 2009
lara21167

Good morning. My work computer is soooo much nicer. Cloey I did check online on potty training beagle pups. And one thing they did recommend was to take the dog to one certain area when you go out and tell her to “do your business”. btw her name is Ginger. Will post pics when I get a camera to take some. I’m going to get a disposable. Anyhoo I’ve been taking her out every hour or sooner and it is working out good. Also feeding, right now I’m feeding her 3 times a day and I’ve been keeping that at regular times. And she gulps her food down like she’s afraid someone is going to take it from her. The people that had her didn’t have a litter, as I originally thought, they have other dogs and apparently got her and decided they didn’t want her. But I guess the other dogs would eat her food if she didn’t gulp it down. At night I know she can’t hold it and yes she sleeps with my daughter or climbs in bed with me and my hubby. I tried the first night locking her in the bathroom, no go there. She whined soooo bad. I thought about crate training, but I think I can get a baby gate and lock her in the kitchen. It’s small and she may take to that better. And I can cover the floor with Newspaper. Now my hubby is home now and he’s not having as much luck with the house breaking. He said he takes her out she doesn’t go then takes her in and she goes. I told him he has to take her to her bathroom area and wait. She’ll usually go within 5 minutes for me. My problem now is at 1 am she wants to wake up and play!! That’s not making me happy 😦 Oh and I don’t think she’d make a good hunting dog, twice a rabbit ran out in front of her and she didn’t even pay any attention lol.

12 01 2009
lara21167

I have a question, in February this year I will turn 42 years old. I started working on my bachelors degree years ago. I do have an associates degree. ok right before I had my perforated ulcer I started an online program with the University of Pheonix. I dropped out after one class because of my ulcer problems. Now they have these aggressive “counselors” that must get paid commission, because this guy is bugging me yet again. Now i’ve decided to give up on finishing my degree, which does bother me because it is something unfinished in my life, also the pay difference between an accountant/bookkeeper with a 2 year degree compared to a 4 year degree accountant is double – triple. Now my question, in all honesty do you guys think I am too old to “go back to school”? Be honest now….

12 01 2009
lara21167

Everyone please check out my great nephew on my myspace. My “friend” Proud mommy 2 Jayden. Something like that, That’s my niece, she must be out of rehab and posted pics of her baby. So check out his pics.

12 01 2009
Clo

Laura- My mother went back and got her masters at mid 50’s (I would tell you her exact age, but I can’t remember, it was sometime around 54 I think?) She also got her bacholers in nursing when I was in 1st and 2nd grade… So that would have made her… Probably early 40’s I think. So no, you are NOT too old. They have a lot of programs especially desgined for “older” people. You wouldn’t have to take these courses, my Mom didn’t, but it might make you feel more comfortable. I don’t think 42 is old at all though, and no I’m not just saying that either. But I’d say if it’s what you want, you should TOTALLY go for it.

Ginger could be gulping down food because she was starved (it’s very likely) but it could also be just cause she’s a beagle, lol. Just make sure you don’t feed her more because you think she’s still hungry. One, if she’s underweight, too much food in her system at once could actually kill her, and two, she probably will never stop eating. At least the beagle we fostered didn’t. And I’ve read too that saying the same thing (like Do your business, or we use “go potty”.) works well too. You can also reward her with lots of praise when she goes outside, and maybe even a treat for number 2 or something.

I’m so excited for you. I miss puppies. Louie got way too big way too fast and he’ll be two come July. I want a puppy so badly, but I do not have the time, patience, or room. LoL, as if to tell me this, Jeremy just stopped by to pick something up and stepped in an accident. Louie is a peke who are notroriously hard to potty train. And we’ve got him peeing outside, we cannot get him to poop.

Here’s a weird question: What body wash/soap do you guys use? My MIL bought me this nice smelling stuff, and my husband bought me some bath and body works stuff but I have a hard time using it. It doesn’t make me feel clean, lol. I mean it makes me smell nice and all that, but… I just don’t feel clean unless I used something like my dial body wash that’s antibacterial or whatever. Is that weird?

Oh, and Jeremy emailed me the wedding vows he wrote, so I was going to share them with you guys. I’m kinda mad cause our chaplain took both our vows and said he was going to make a wedding present out of them for us, and we haven’t seen him since. Luckily Jeremy wrote his on his computer at work and had them saved there (well, he says he wrote them, I only kinda half believe him, cause personally I think they’re VERY sweet, and he’s never really shown me that side of him before really.) but mine I hand wrote, so… I don’t have a copy.

12 01 2009
Witchypoo

Good morning, ladies. Lara…you are definitely not “too old” to go back to school. Of course not. People of all ages are in college classes; seriously, I remember a couple of women in their late 50’s, early 60’s in classes, plus some middle-aged men, also, (sometimes it’s hard for me to tell how old men are…don’t know why). Online classes are so convenient…is that what you’re thinking about? I wouldn’t let age even be any kind of consideration at all, Lara.

Take care.

12 01 2009
Clo

OK, here are the wedding vows:
I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH….
ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU
GIVE MY LIFE, MY LOVE, MY HEART
AND MY SOUL TO YOU AND FOR YOU’
ENOUGH TO WILLINGLY GIVE ALL OF MY
TIME, EFFORTS. THOUGHTS, TALENTS, and
TRUST
ENOUGH TO WANT TO PROTECT YOU’
CARE FOR YOU, GUIDE YOU, HOLD YOU
COMFORT YOU, LISTEN TO YOU, AND
CRY TO YOU AND WITH YOU,
ENOUGH TO BE SILLY AROUND YOU
NEVER HAVE TO HIDE ANYTHING FROM
YOU, AND BE MYSELF WITH YOU………
I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO SHARE
MY ENTIRE LIFE WITH YOU
ENOUGH TO WANT THE BEST FOR YOU,
ENOUGH TO KEEP MY PROMISES TO YOU
AND PLEDGE MY LOYALTY AND FAITHFULLNESS TO YOU.
ENOUGH TO CHERISH YOUR FRIENDSHIP
ADORE YOUR PERSONALITY, RESPECT YOUR VALUES
AND SEE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE….
I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOU
COMPROMISE FOR YOU AND SACRIFICE
MYSELF FOR YOU IF NEED BE
ENOUGH TO MISS YOU INCREDIBLE WHEN
WE ARE APART, NO MATTER WHAT LENGTH OF
TIME ITS FOR AND REGARDLESS OF
THE DISTANCE
ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP
TO STAND BY IT THROUGH THE WORST
OF TIMES, TO HAVE FAITH IN OUR
STRENGTH AS A COUPLE, AND TO NEVER EVER
GIVE UP ON US
ENOUGH TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE
WITH YOU, BE THERE FOR YOU, WHEN YOU NEED
OR WANT ME, AND NEVER EVER WANT TO LEAVE YOU
OR LIVE WITHOUT YOU….
I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH…………..

12 01 2009
lara21167

OMG that is sooo sweet Cloey, it sounds like he put alot of thought into that.
Btw thanks you guys, I am going to think about going back to college, it is something that always nags at me and to know I could make sooo much more money pretty much doing what I do now…

12 01 2009
Witchypoo

Yeah…I teared up reading the vows, Cloey. Wow…I thought you said he wasn’t romantic? See…the heart & soul of even the people we love and feel closest to is still a mystery; we’ll never know all there is to know about each other. I’ll bet Jeremy has all kinds of emotions and thoughts about you and your relationship that he isn’t always able to express to you in the way you’re specifically looking for. I think you should have his words to you matted and framed, and put them somewhere that you can ponder over whenever the mood hits…or maybe just when you’re feeling discouraged about your relationship.

Lara, yeah, I’d say that age should be the LAST consideration; I view it as beside-the-point.

Cloey, some of those fancier gels/bath lotions have a lot of oils and other unnecessary ingredients in them. Didn’t you mention a while back that you are somewhat sensitive about what’s next to your skin? Some of those concoctions make me feel like I have an extra layer of whatever sitting on my skin. I take a shower after I work out in the am…and I’m really sweaty by then. I like to feel like my skin is cleansed and free of slick-feeling chemicals, you know? I just use Dove for sensitive skin, (no added fragrance/coloring)…then I feel clean enough to put on some scented skin moisturizer, (like, I use Victoria’s Secret ‘Heavenly’ or ‘Wish’ lotion)…then I apply the perfume/cologne version of the lotion. Layering the various versions of a fragrance makes it last longer. Plus, my skin still “feels clean”…know what I mean?

Take care.

12 01 2009
lara21167

I’m Sorry clo, I wanted to comment on the soap thing too. I have to use the rich oily things. I like Dove though. But like Witchy said it’s that clean feeling you like, that kind of soap dries my skin out.

12 01 2009
monkeyspeaks

Lara – my friend is 41 and is going back to school as soon as she finishes with all the Financial Aid crap. So no you aren’t too old.

AND I had women and men of advanced ages in my classes back in college. When I say advanced I also mean 60+. Seriously. Its never too late to learn.

12 01 2009
monkeyspeaks

I buy my soaps from whole foods and markets like that. I dunno, I go for the hippie stuff hahahaha.

For hair, I’m a kheils girl through and through. Even boo noticed when I stopped using it for like HALF a minute cause I was TRYING to save $$. I used some everyday product and he turned his nose up saying my hair wasn’t as soft as it should be and it smelled funny to him (my stuff is unscented but the hair product i use has a clean smell to it… so when I mixed the two it was weird and he prefers the “product” smell… it smells almost like a mans body wash hahaha).

Kheils has great skin care products too… they are just pricey. I love Kheils. And lucky me, I have one down the street!

But I’m a dove user also – I use the green tea, cucumber one. And lotion. I dont know what I am using right now. I tihkn its an Avena or something. I still need to get somtehing for my hands.

12 01 2009
monkeyspeaks

OH and for perfume. You all must go out and buy Stella by Stella McCartney. OMG so good.

I get the 3oz for 50 bucks. It is sold at sephora. Im also a BIG Ana Sui fan. Boo is ready for me to change scents too so I’m gonna go get some AS as soon as I have extra cash (uhm, like tomorrow? i found 2 checks in my wallet, remembered I hid a 20 for THIS occassion in a drawer at home and got an email fro my landlord saying i was awarded back my deposit from my other place and to chekc my mail today. Its a full months rent so Im STOKED. AND paycheck is friday. I may only get half but thats ok by me.

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