Why I Dislike Other Bloggers

10 02 2009

I have no problem saying this. I am a bitch and a diva. I live above my means, because, well, I’m still learning how not to. I pay in excess of 100 dollars on haircuts that I could PROBABLY get for cheaper somewhere else. But I don’t trust anyone with scissors who doesn’t deam themselves good enough to charge at LEAST 65 a cut. Im spoiled like that.

 

I’m told over and over by my guy that I need to work on my dexterity. Im a klutz who drops things left and right and who has been self-banned from certain places because of my path of destruction.  Don’t tell Pretty Princess and Punky Pirate Castle Emporium that I accidentally broke the head off of a decorative toy placed out around Christmas time. Due to my often unavoidable clumsiness, I have become a pro at “positioning,” and unless you picked up that poor glittery turtle, you would NEVER know it was beheaded in a violent match of “OOOOOO SPARKLY!” (Break it, Buy it obviously does not apply to me because, well, I would eventually have trouble paying my rent).

 

Although not sparkly - I also have a penchant for dog calendars.

Although not sparkly - I also have a penchant for dog calendars.

 

I’m told, over and over again, by friends, family and significant others that I talk to much. I over explain things. I go way too deep into detail. “Seriously, dude, just get to the point,” is a phrase so commonly heard in my world that, at this point, I shrug it off and pshaw with a  wave of my hand, before continuing on with my…way….too…drawn….out….version….of…the…squirrel….that….ate….a…nut.

 

So what does a person, who enjoys self indulgence, is a little bit self-centered, loves talking and adores attention do? Duh. She blogs.

 

Rather than jump out the door during lunch hour to go demolish a restaurant and flood it with my spilled water and iced-tea cups (BTW. It’s ICED Tea. Not Ice Tea. The tea is ICED… GEEZ), I jump on the computer and peruse my favorite sites. I go in order. Least favorite to favorite, and if I have inspiration or time, I jump on my own last to amuse you all with the awesomeness that is me and my mundane, yet strangely exciting and glamorous life. (I promise, I ink everything up a bit. No one wants to read about how I woke up, put on make-up, cleaned up some dog shit and then sat at my desk all day writing code. WOOOOO. Now isn’t that an exciting life).

 

The point of this is I leave a trail of comments where I go and one blog, in particular, I can’t seem to stop reading, no matter how annoying I find the writer and how shrilly I think the readers are. Oh yes. You can hear the shrill in many of their comments.

 

Personally I find a bit of obligation to write for the 5 people who follow me. Or the 100 and 95 of you just don’t comment. Those numbers are WELL BELOW extraordinary, with new blogs popping up and thousands of hits a day. I do this for myself (ummmm, hello, remember, all about the self centered indulgence and what do I love better than a bunch of pages about ME!) and for the few of you who cry out when it gets slow. Wow, I can’t get through a thought without a tangent. Back to the point. These whiney followers of an unmentioned (view from this chair) blog freak out whenever there is a bad critique.

 

Critiquer: Normally I really enjoy this blog but lately it feels like it’s a bit monotomous….

 

Defender: OH. MY. GOD. STOP, READING. THE BLOG IF YOU DON”T LIKE IT, WE LOVE [blogger] AND HER WORK AND SHE IS THE BEST FICTIONAL WRITER EVER AND WE’LL WAIT FOREVER FOR HER TO POST AND IF YOU DON’T WANT TO WAIT THEN DON’T READ IT

 

Critiquer: Woah….

 

Blogger: Yea, so here is the deal, my whole life, like, does not revolve around this blog and I don’t owe any of you anything and whine whine and I had a break down and im moving and life sucks and im single and thgis is for me and this drama is happening and my life is so chaotic and unique and blah blah blah blah

 

I stop reading most of the comments at that point. Partially because, really, I don’t care that much. At this point I say things just to rile these kids up. (Uhm, these “kids” whose ages seem to range between 15 and 30… you can guess who are the most vocal…NOPE! Not the teens). Partially because I’m laughing so hard at how personally people seem to take things. Seriously? The best writer ever? Then I’m assuming there is a book deal in the process because we just can’t get enough of the vivascious and luscious stares the heroine gives the hero as he caresses her… woah… censored!

 

And the other thing that always throws me is how dramatic other bloggers lives seem to be. Either a blog is something someone is doing for the fun of it. Such as this super awesome post it blog: Stickies (http://bustedgiveadamn.blogspot.com/

). And some are extremely witty and either make it big or don’t, but either way, have a great following of funny and intelligent people (Passiveaggressivenotes.com, Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, Jensylvania.com…). OR the blog is the small attempt of someone attempting to escape their mundane lives because they, falsely, believe, they could be the next Pulitzer prize winner.

 

It is these Pulitzer wannabes who seem to be in a constant flow of drama. What I want to know is – how? Why? Is anyones life REALLY that consumed by drama? And I don’t mean your run of the mill “Im down because I was just dumped,” “My In-laws are psychotic,” or “I want to bash my husbands head-in.” No. People who live these lives understand, Lifes a dick… you either suck it, fuck it, or indulge in lesbianism and get as far away from said penis as you can. Whatever your oceans motion, you realize, while your life in itself is unique, your problems aren’t, and you vent and move on and focus on positives. Why? Because you are normal. You don’t go online and tell a throng of unknown interneters in internetland certain issues. I mean. Yea. We all have a friend or two, or five who we know soley in cyberland who we find we can easily vent to, because, they are kinda unbiased. They care as much as you do. Or is this just me. Wait… really… Am I the only loser who lives the double life of internet and real world? Oh…. Uhm…. Hmmm…

 

But we vent, and we moan about our lives (except me because, obviously, its so incredibly fabulous…. I’m telling you, picking up a steaming pile of dog crap is more invigorating than that first cup of coffee. Warm shower over walking the dog in the cold and nuzzling it’s remains? I’ll take the nuzzling) and we move on.

 

Bloggers, at least the ones I have a distaste for, seem to take their life issues to a whole other level. Their mother didn’t just have a bad day, or, worse, have an altercation at work. No no. It’s a whole new story about how they are having a total mental break down and please feel bad for me because I have such a shitty life and now I need a lawyer because this is just way too intense. Note: If a situation is so bad that you need a lawyer for it? Don’t go onto your fictional blog to ask someone if they know one. This is one of those “real life” issues that cyber world can’t fix. Vent about it? Maybe… But actually think you will find a lawyer from one of your whiney readers? Naw.

 

 

So to my readers, the bloggers and readers of my beloved blogs: I appreciate you. Thank you for not being whiney little snots. Thank you for having, sometimes hilarious, life dramas but understanding life is just life. Thank you for having a sense of humor. Thank you for following my (god awful) rants. Thank you for laughing at my little comments and my attempts at snark and wit.

 

Now get off your asses and go enjoy a [relatively] drama free existence. And remember. The yellow pages are for finding lawyers, not your blog.

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16 responses

10 02 2009
janey

Rowdy- i cant recall a time in the last
few days that i have laughed so hard!
you are hilarious!!!!

11 02 2009
Holly

Is it horrid that I am SO tempted to leave a whiney, wimpy, snarkey comment? It’s only because I love you :o)

11 02 2009
janey

Happy Birthday, Lara!
Hope you have a wonderful day!

11 02 2009
lara21167

Thank you Janey, you are the 3rd person today to wish me a happy birthday (the other 2, my daughter who is still sick btw, and a co worker, Hubby will remember eventually) , Yes Rowdy, I am going to be a whiny little snot, hah!! “It’s my birthday and I”ll cry if I want to” I feel neglected. No biggie. I keep saying I’m canceling my birthdays. I think people are taking me seriously.
Oh and I got an ecard from my “hot” young dentist, actually his office but I thought that was real nice. My dentist is cute gets a bit ackward though laying back in the chair head level with his croch, mouth open wide, drooling!! haha

So how is everyone today? Witchey are you having computer issues again?

11 02 2009
Clo

Happy birthday Laura!

Day is going boring. And I can’t believe it’s only 11 o’clock. I’m really tired as of late, trying to pack for this trip, my brain is going a million miles an hour trying to not forget something. I’m going to take a nap, but Laura I hope your day goes better, and I hope you have a wonderful birthday!

11 02 2009
lara21167

Oh it’s going just fine. Tip for not forgetting things, right everything down as you think of it. THen you can organize and check off what you need. I do that for everything lol.

11 02 2009
lara21167

And cloey thanks for the happy birthday message on myspace

11 02 2009
janey

hey guys!
whts up?
lara i hope your day is going well.
cloey, you are going by car right?
are you excited for Cayden’sx first road trip??

so im excited. anxiously waiting for friday to come.
i got a new phone and its supposed to come in the mail on
friday. YAy t-mobile lol

11 02 2009
Witchypoo

SweetLara, Laura…(any other aliases???) – HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to a doll-of-a-lady!!! I hope your hubby thinks of something nice to say/do/buy you, (preferably all three). C’mon, Sweetie…DON’T say you don’t want to celebrate it – and no crying, either! Hahaha…actually, I think you’re an incredibly good-sport; it sounds like you handle difficult/stressful times better than most. I hope your daughter is feeling better. Keep smiling, SweetLara.

Cloey…excited for the trip? I love to get away, but we’re usually with Chance’s baseball team when we go out of town. It’s fun, but you’re right: packing/preparing is tiring and tedious. Have a ton of fun. Are you REALLY not going to have any means to check in with us even one time? What will you do without our sunny personalities to brighten your day?! Hahaha. Stay safe on the road.

Janey…have fun playing with your new phone. Electronics don’t personally get me too excited, (as I’m sure you’ve already surmised)…but I’m glad you’re looking forward to it.

Take care, Ladies.

11 02 2009
lara21167

Thank you witchy and everyone. My daughter sent me an e-card. My hubby said he tried to email me something but it didn’t go, all he has to do is ask Kristy, even at 12 she’s pretty good with the computer. And when I went home at lunch she was in the process of making me a card, I peaked anyway lol And I got back to work and there was flowers waiting, no not from hubby, from my boss, she sends me flowers every year on my B-day. So all in all not too bad. And it feels like spring here today, and the birds are a singing. Calling for snow on the weekend but I don’t want to think of that just yet, going to enjoy the “spring” day lol.

11 02 2009
Witchypoo

Note To Laura, (Lara): I’ve been on your myspace page, trying to send you a birthday message in your mail box; it’s not happening, Girlfriend; don’t know why it won’t take…it keeps saying that I need to put in the user name in the “TO” box…which I’ve done repeatedly, (lara21167@yahoo.com – right?). It says, “No matches found”…I don’t know. Soooooo…ooo, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, again, Laura!

11 02 2009
lara21167

Yep that is right Witchy. Oh and I jokingly told the girls in the office (all 2 of them) Since the bosses were out this afternoon that we were going to have a party. So they brought a cake in after lunch. That was sooo nice of them. No one is going to let me be depressed so I guess I’ll just be happy instead!! Thanks guys for the happy birthdays on the blog comments. I had to laugh.

11 02 2009
Clo

Janey- this is technically Cayden’s 2nd road trip. We took a trip to Toledo when he was…. 2 months old I think. That was about a 4 hour round trip, so not too bad. I am incredibly nervous about it. We’re planning on leaving when he’s asleep, and we’re hoping he sleeps through all, or at least most, of the ride. He has been sleeping better since we started real foods, only now he’s starting to get constipated, so we may have to quit that, which makes me nervous. I have not been sleeping too hot either, which makes me nervous for the long car ride, because I have to sleep in the car, so that I can be awake when we get there, and take care of Cayden while Jeremy sleeps (he’s driving the whole way)

Witchy- I dunno if I’ll be able to talk to you guys. My phone is dumb and I want to throw it across a room. For some reason it’s not letting me get on the web through it anymore, and it’s making me mad because it’s barely 2 months old, so I dunno what’s going on. I want to take it back, and will, but Jeremy told me that they’ll probably have to send it out to be fixed, and I want my phone on vacay so I can at least text, so I could give you guys my number if you want to text me, lol. But Jeremy will have his blackberry, so I should be able to check my email, and possibly myspace, and I can try to check this page, but I’m not sure if it’ll load (it won’t load on my phone, when my phone was letting me use the internet.) I’m excited to go on vacay, but as previously stated, nervous. Long car ride, we’ll be out pretty much every day, sleeping in a new place…. I’m hoping Cayden does well. This is the first vacation I’ll be on in a long time, and the first real vacation Jeremy and I are taking together.

Laura- I’m glad people are being nice to you on your birthday. As far as packing, I did make a list. That way I can remember what to pack, and then bring the list with me and make sure we don’t forget anything in the hotel. Only I’ll remember something and forget to write it down, and Jeremy started packing already so some things are in and I’m not sure what. I’m probably going to end up going through it all and repacking. And I mean, I’m already an overpacker. I’m afraid I’ll need something and not bring it. And now with Cayden that’s like ten fold. We’re also renting a car and I’m not sure how big it’ll be… It’s just a mess. And there’s some things I can’t pack till the last minute and ugh. Vacation is fun, preparing for vacation, isn’t.

11 02 2009
janey

Clo- all these nerves will pay off,
im sure you’ll have a great time.

my phone came 2 days early!!!!
im soooo excited its really ridiculous.
im sick and cant really talk and then my mom
hands me the phone and i tried to scream but
no sound came out lol

only its being retarted saying tht my sim card
doesnt register and i called t-mobile and went
through a whole process with them and they
said to charge the phone completely and try again
if not then i have to get a new sim card =[
i wanna use my phone =[

11 02 2009
lara21167

Janey that sucks, I hate when you get all excited about something like that, then it doesn’t work.

Cloey I am awful about overpacking. You should see what I pack to go for the weekend for our “Reach the Beach” Cheer competition. we stay just 2 nights and 3 days and you’d think I was going for a week lol. And I’m a last minute packer. Another suggestion. Day before you are going to leave take a box or basket or something and everything you use that night or whatever that you can’t pack until you use it ie: toothbrush, toothpaste, hair stuff, makeup. Just put it in the box bag or whatever as soon as your done. That way you don’t put it back then forget all about it.

11 02 2009
Clo

Well the good thing about some stuff like that Laura, is that when I was pregnant with Cayden I wanted to pack so badly and have it all ready I went out and bought extra’s (toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, I can’t use the hotels. I mean seriously the sizes of their shampoo is ridiculous.) I didn’t even use them though, because when I went to the hospital we didn’t expect to be delivering and didn’t bring my bag. Luckily the hospital had all that stuff, but again, the shampoo was a joke. And I rarely wear makeup so I’ll be packing it now.

Janey that sucks about your phone. I want to throw my phone against a wall.

Cayden is being such a little flirt right now. I have him in his jumperooo which he now loves, and he has his hand in his mouth smiling and talking to me while bouncing. He also has a thing for lesbians. *sigh* they’re going to break his heart but he loves them so. First it was my friend Courtney, and then at my uncles surprise party it was my cousin. He laughs and giggles and flirts. Actually there’s a good book (Janey you might like it. Not that you’re a lesbian, I just know you like to read.) called Hard Love about a guy falling in love with a lesbian. Broke my heart. THere’s a song called Hard Love, as well (the lyrics are in the book.) It’s a good song.

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