How Puppies Are Born, or, Why my boyfriends friends are banned from my house

12 06 2009

“You get over here, now.”

Andy grabbed my wrist and yanked forward. I flew after my wrist.

“You’re such dick.”
“Get over here.”

I cracked up. People around us were going to think I was some poor girl being manhandled by their boyfriend.

“But I don’t wanna.” I whined.

Andy dragged me down the street, one arm full of groceries, the other full of my wrist. I watched as people stared at us. Part of me wanted to call out, no, no, it’s cool, we’re just weird. The other part of me realized I was providing them with material of which they would surely rush home to their families.

Mija, you should have seen what I saw! Thees poor girl. Dragged. Yes, dragged. She had tears!

What kind of person would I be if I didn’t leave a bit up to their imagination? I bit my tongue and teared out my laughter. I’m a sucker for a good story.

It wasn’t that I wanted people to think I was some battered significant other. It was more the people on my street were so DAMN nosey. Why not give them a little flavour.

We got to the front of my building with a quick kiss and clamored up the stairs, shoving each other out of the way. What was the potential for a broken neck for a little rough housing?

Andy got to the door first and yanked me in.

The smell hit me like a ton of bricks. Elvis was hiding in a corner and I ran to the bathroom to see diarrhea everywhere. I guess in dog world a bright green shag bathroom rug is the equivalent of a dump space. Goalie remained on the bed thumping happily, looking oddly smug.

Ah, the joy of owning dogs.

I grabbed Elvis and ran him out the door, promising to help when I got back and hoping it would be done before then.

Elvis ran down with me and took his normal 10 minute piss. I swear I adopted a small horse, not a dog. He looked up at me with a shit eating grin.

Figuring he had already done the other business upstairs on my new only to find Andy contorted halfway up the stairs.

“Get over here! Now!”

No anger, just, shock.

“Whats the big deal,” I questioned skeptically. Was there more dog shit we didn’t notice? And if there was, so what. The dog got sick. No sense in freaking out about it.

I thought back to the first time Andy had to deal with an “accident.”

“OMG It’s everywhere.”
“OK, just wait, I’m parking the car, I’ll be up in a second.”
“Please, gag, just get up here. I can’t gag do this.”
“Go wait in the bathroom then.”
“I’m in the clos-gag-et.”
“You’re really pathetic you know that.”
“Just get up here.”

A small pile awaited me when I did finally get upstairs. True to his word, Andy had been in the closet gagging. I wondered what he would do when he had a kid explode out of their diaper.

He snapped to get me back to reality.

“Seriously, Mel, You need to come see this, you will NOT believe it.”

A week before we brought Goalie over to his moms house to meet our newest addition.

“Why are her nipples so big.” (Because it isn’t awkward when your boyfriends mother asks about nipples, dog or not).
“Well, she had a litter so maybe just stretched out,” I offered.
“No, something going on with the dog.”
“Naw, it’ll look better when we spay her.”

I reached Andy on the stairs and joked, “What, did Goalie have puppies or something,”
I received wide eyes in response. Andy grabbed my wrist and dragged me up the remaining flight to the apartment. The playful banter completely absent.

“You grabbed Elvis and I dropped the bags in the kitchen. I thought it was really weird that Goalie wouldn’t get off the bed! And did you see how she had shoved all of the covers off? Just, go, LOOK.”

And there she was. In a pool of afterbirth, licking away at what looked like a black and white rat.

“EWWW dude, she caught a rat and its all over my new mattress topper!”
“Seriously, Mel? LOOK”

Obviously I was in denial.

“Oh, Fuck, Me.”
“Not right now Hun, there’s a puppy on our bed.”

Elvis returned to his corner. He hadn’t pooped. He was freaking out. The diarrhea was probably Goalies.

I grabbed my phone as Andy ran to the computer. There was only one puppy, which probably meant we were going to be up for a while.

“Penny! I swear to god, I’m not screwing with you. There is a puppy on my bed. In a puddle of blood and after birth.”

“It says if a new one isn’t born within 2 hours then something could be wrong.”

“No, that was Andy, he’s on the computer. I don’t know! We left here an hour and a half ago and came back to puppy. Yea, it’s clean. I thought it was a dead rat. No, dude, you should have seen his face.”

“Should I put the groceries away?”

Seriously?

“Cool, yea, ok we won’t hit the vet until you get here. Just hurry. Please. What do you mean look for more puppies. Fucking-a.”

I hung up and looked at Andy who was standing there telling me to calm down. His dog just exploded all over my bed and I was supposed to be calm. My boyfriend obviously does not know me.

“And, what should I do?!”
“Uhm, it said to watch for new puppies. Feel around if you can.”

He wanted me to do what.

“Yea, stick your hand in there.”
“YOU do it!”
“I’m a guy, I don’t know anything about babies.”

Right, because I’ve given birth how many times?

I took a deep breath and spread her legs. And screamed.

“WHAT is there another one?”
“It’s just so gross!!”
“Fuck, Mel! Just do it.”

I dug around. It was my turn to gag.

There was a knock on our door. There was NO way Penny was already there. She lived an hour away, and even speeding it would take at least 45 minutes.

Greg stood at the door.

“Willie is out with her girlfriends drinking tonight. She told me I have to pick her up when she was done. Figured I’d hang out in the neighborhood for a bit. See what you guys were up to.”

“You gave him the number to get into the building didn’t you,” I called over my shoulder.
“Greg, I swear to god dude, you are you so whipped.”
“Whatever man, I’m not whipped, I just take care of my girl. Mel, you’d expect Andy to do the same thing right?”
“No, I’d find a cab. You’re totally whipped.”

About this time Greg noticed the blood on my hands and the wriggling mass on the bed.

“NO SHIT.”
“Yes, shit. Do something useful.”

I’m really not all that bright in certain settings. If I am stressed, I don’t think, I act. Normally this would benefit a stressful situation. Unfortunately we were dealing with Greg, and Greg’s version of being useful and helpful is to stand over your shoulder and dictate.

“You shouldn’t do that; Have you felt for more pups yet; you’re totally doing it wrong; you should get her spayed; did you know….”
“George, if you would prefer to be elbow deep in dog cooch, then be my guest. Until then, please shut the fuck up.”
“I was just trying to help.”
“Go help your friend unload the groceries, or watch tv or wait for your girlfriend to grab you by the balls and drag you off somewhere.”
“Whatever, no need to be testy.”

Andy rescued me, dragging Greg away by what was left of his manhood to start looking up emergency vets.

Knock

Finally. Some semblance of sanity would commence.

“Where is she! Oh Goalie, what did you do!” Penny rushed past me toward the mess that was once my night time haven.

“Will she let me hold her?”

“Yea, I’m pretty sure,” I shrugged at Penny. “She was letting me handle her pretty well and kept licking me when I would touch her.”

Penny cooed to Goalie and gently lifted the bloody turd, er, I mean puppy.

“So, I thought they were supposed to be cute.”
“Oh, Mel,” Penny laughed. “Any other pups?”
“No, just that one. Did you guys find a vets office.”

I dialed the number dictated and asked directions. After telling me to head south on Colorado (ok), hang a left at Broadway (errrr, ok), Turn right on Verdugo (Where?!) I told the nurse to hold on. Greg, I need you to take the phone and write down directions.

“Why me.”
“PLEASE just DO IT.”
“Well what is the address? I can figure it out.”
“Greg, here is the deal, a very kind but impatient woman is sitting on the phone waiting for SOMEONE here to take directions. Seeing as I’ve lived here all of 3 months I have no idea what she is talking about. Write. Them. Down.”

Again. Completely forgot Greg would be the wrong person to ask. After arguing with the vet tech about the best way to get there (and the time officially reaching the, “Oh shit we need to get the dog out of here” point) Greg hung up with the tech and promptly told me that his way was still better. Upon this I grabbed the paper out of his hands, wrapped the puppy up in a towel and followed Penny and Goalie out of the door.

“Hanging in there, kid?”

Penny could always tell when I was ready to lose it.

“Yea, but I want a ciggerette for the first time in months now.”

I navigated the unfamiliar streets. 9:42 p.m. Ok there was no way the vets office would be packed at this time? Right? Wrong.

We walked into a very crowded room, sick dogs and cats hacking their lives away onto the floor and every Tom, Dick and Harry crowded us instantly.
“Is that a new dog?!” (No, actually, I think it’s a sewer rat)
“Can I touch it?” (No)
“How old is the baby” (How old does it look dipshit).

I was told by the staff that we would have to wait around. I looked at the surrounding area and mumbled something about my new puppy dying and it being her fault. We were immediately shown into a private sitting room.

Andy walked through the 20 minutes later. Penny and I were sprawled on the ground petting Goalie and snuggling the puppy.

“Where is Greg,” I asked. I hoped I didn’t sound relieved. Greg was ok, just, not in an emergency.
“He lost what was left of his manhood and went to drive Willie to another bar.”
“Gotcha.”

Goalie received her x-ray and we awaited the news. How many more? Was she ok? Were there dead puppies in her?

“So is it a boy or a girl.”
“I have no idea, Andy, its just a wiggly ball right now.”
“What should we name it?”
“Tanner,” Penny offered.
“Too trust fund baby,” Andy countered.
“Max?” I suggested.
“Fred?” (Andy)
“What if it’s a girl,” Penny asked.
“Hula?”
“Hula?” Andy laughed.
“I don’t know, I thought a cute Hawaiian name.”
“She’s a border collie, you need a Gaelic name.”
“Yes, because I have so many of those in my memory bank,” I retorted.

A lanky guy with a stethoscope came in and sat on the ground.

“That was the only one,” He said pressing into Goalies belly. I was relieved. We couldn’t afford a whole litter.

It was a girl. It was healthy. The doctor went over the odds and ends. We went back to the front I signed away my first born child and any future mortgage I would open up to the Emergency clinic.

We got into the car. I turned back to face Andy and Penny.
“What do we tell her when she finds out Elvis isn’t her real dad?”

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391 responses

12 06 2009
Clo

OK, sorry Rowdizzle I haven’t had a chance to read this yet, but it’s been a long morning and is shaping up to be along weekend. I just need prayers for my friend Megan and her baby Marlee. They had to do an emergency c-section and Marlee’s being life-flighted out of there because she’s breathing too heavy and they can’t figure out what’s wrong. So, good thoughts, PLEASE.

13 06 2009
janey

rowdy- that was hilarious.!
and it was really good. the story line is extremely entertaining.
i was sitting here laughin my ass off.

so today i had an interview with my parents
and this thing called edifi. theyre a company that helps
high school students get financial aid for college. it was a looooooong
interview and explaination about how the work. anyway im now a memeber and its supposed to be real good. they asked me to fill out a ton of paperwork and on the back i had to choose nine colleges/ universities that i was interested in. here are my choices. tell me what you guys think.

UCLA
Berkeley
Dartmouth
Springfield College
Califoria Schools of Culinary Arts
Colgate University
Columbia University
Syracuse University

i would like to go to Dartmouth because of the program that im involved with there. the SEAD program takes 30 high school sudents from all over the country and they get to spend practically every summer at Dartmouth learning and developing communication skills, getting out of comfort zones and all types of other things. they combine fun and learning in way that makes it desirable for the students to WANT to learn during their summers.
i went last year and it was AMAZING. this year itll be for a longer period of time and we leave in 21 days. i cant wait.!!!!!
i have pictures in my myspace page from last years trip if you guys wanna check it out.

but. my FIRST choice would be a school in CA cause i want to get out of the cold and cant wait to get away from my parents. [sort of]
im thinking that i wanna do a year study abroad my second year of college. i wanna do it in spain.

i know it seems stupid and like its forever away but. i wanna makes sure i have everything planned and prioritized so that when the time comes things arent unorganized or fall apart. i wanna challege myself in every aspect that i can.

i dunno. what do you guys think? am i thinking too far ahead.?
am i asking for too much or expecting too much.?

15 06 2009
lara21167

Cloey, how is your friend and her baby. Didn’t get on the computer over the weekend. (Usually when I think about it, my daughter is on there) But I will send positive thoughts and good wishes their way.

Rowdy, I loved that. Very good. Have to ask, does your guy actually have a friend who drives his girl from one bar to another when she goes out without him?? Oh yea, I could see my hubby doing that now!! Not.

Janey, I’m not up on colleges much, but they sound like good choices. And no it’s not too early to be thinking about it. Just don’t put all your eggs in one basket and keep your options open. That would be cool to study in Spain. You ever read the book about Dr Ben Carson, “Gifted Hands” ? I just read it (Kristy was supposed to but she thought it was boring) Anyway it’s a great inspirational book. Dr. Carson is a pediatric Brain Surgeon at John Hopkins in Baltimore and has successfully performed radical surgeries that other doctors won’t do. The book is about how he overcame obsticals in his life in his persuit of becoming a doctor, and by they way he knew that’s what he wanted to do from about 8 years old. and what schools he wanted to study at. He’s a remarkable man, you should read it.

16 06 2009
janey

hey guys. im babysitting.
waiting for thursday to come around so i can take my exams a school.

16 06 2009
Witchypoo

Hi there, Ladies! It’s been a while, hugh? My computer crashed recently, my husband reinstalled programs…but I couldn’t remember the “wordpress” part after Monkey Speaks; I’d sift through reams of blog sites on the internet whenever I had the chance, until Lara sent me the url yesterday. Then, it took me a while to get through all the new posts and comments.

Goldie, the sonnet….that kind of Shakespearean English – Old English, is always challenging to decipher. It’s a double-challenge, since just trying to interpret “regular poetry” is dicey at best…it really is different for each reader. That’s the really intriguing part of poetry…it’s like a prism, or snowflake, everchanging, with an illusionary quality. It even changes for one individual sometimes…one time you read a piece and your mood tells you it’s saying one thing…the next time, you get something entirely different from it. My take on this sonnet is that love, (any kind of love, it doesn’t have to be romantic love, necessarily), colors our perceptions of not only ourselves for the better, but also the world becomes better, more fine and beautiful. And the question is, what’s worse…the egotistic self-asorption of indulging in our own delusions of what we’d LIKE to be reality, or the prospect of living in a world without love, without the beauty that love colors everything with, even if it IS kind of delusionary, or illusionary by nature. The sonnet’s ending answers that even if the cup of love is poisoned with unreality, and becomes our downfall…still, it’s a better proposition than living in a “real” world without love. I think you can relate it to just an individual’s perspective about another person, or all of us in general, and the illusions AND truths we need to hang onto to make the world worthwhile and beautiful. But for me personally, I interpret it to mean that love makes everything better, and without it, nothing is real or worthwhile, and that it’s worth any sacrifice, including the self.

I loved your fictional “installment”, Goldie. You really are very good at engaging the reader’s interest by detailed characterization, catchy dialogue, and funny situations. You characters feel like people we know, or have known at some point. I think that’s a big appeal of successful fiction…when readers can identify in some way with characters, and plot circumstances. Everyone loves familiarity, even if it’s subtle…it’s subconscious. Also, humor adds a lot to everyday situations, of course; everyone loves to laugh, right? Keep it up.

Janey, well, it sounds like you’ve been a very busy girl. I think it’s great that you’ve got some concrete goals, and you’re really thinking ahead in terms of details that will make your plans successful, with the best possible outcome.

Cloey, your MIL is too much; it makes me wonder where she came up with her strange ideas about different cultures. Do you know anything about her upbringing…her parents? What about your FIL…is he like that, too? Wow. Also, I’m really glad your friend’s baby is doing well. Anything regarding the process of bringing new little lives into the world is so poignant…such an emotional subject.

Lara, hey girl….Victoria’s Secret is having yet another “semi-annual” sale with tons of markdowns, including tons of really cute swimwear of all types. The website is the best place to find all that, since the outlet stores don’t carry nearly the inventory that you can find online. I just thought of it because you mentioned you’d like a new bathing suit.

Take care everyone.

16 06 2009
Clo

Actually I just got another update, and the baby may not be OK. They aren’t sure if the cyst is attached to something (like they brain) so now they have to do an MRI or something before they remove it to make sure. If it is attached to something like that, I’m not sure what that means for Marlee. So, prayers again would be appreciated.

16 06 2009
lara21167

Thanks Witchy, I don’t know if I’d look good in Victoria Secret Bathing Suites anymore 😦 I mean I’m thin, but have a bit of a pudge and I don’t like one pieces, Like to get that tan!! So I need a 2 piece that’s not too skimpy and comes up to the belly button. I think all their suites are pretty skimpy. Oh it wasn’t that long ago I could wear all those cute suites!! Hell getting old lol.

I checked out that blog that commentor on Bedroom blog said she started, Diary of J. Pretty good so far. Just what I need something else to distract me at work 🙂

Cloey how is your friend and her baby? Hope they are still doing well.

16 06 2009
janey

Scared

Bleak, dreary nights, calling me into darkness
Hot, sunny days, calling me into exhaustion
Scared to sleep; too many memories
Scared to be awake; too many things to face
Scared to think of the future; can’t overcome my present
Cloudy mornings calling me into the past
Bright mornings calling me to face the hear and now
Scared to go on; the pain is too much
Scared to stay still; it’ll never get better
Scared to live; can’t wait to die

16 06 2009
Witchypoo

Of course we’ll be thinking about the baby, Marlee, and sending prayers and wishes for good health and protection, Cloey.

17 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Damn, Janey…very expressive poem, but I sure hope that’s not how you actually feel the majority of the time.

17 06 2009
lara21167

Like it Janey. Rowdy what is the literary meaning of the sonnet you posted? I think Witchy is the closest to the true meaning. Very good btw Witchy.

17 06 2009
janey

witchy – no, im fine.
i dont know why but i dont mean to write dark poems.
sometimes i just sit and write and when i read over what i read
over what i wrote, im like damn. that was deep. i dunno.

Clo- i’ll be prayin for your friend and her baby.

17 06 2009
lara21167

Cloey when are they going to remove the cyst? Keep us informed and I’ll be praying for her and sending positive vibes.

17 06 2009
janey

So. Ive decided im getting a piercing today. Well. More like reopening a piercing. And then i might get another facial piercing. Im thinking maybe my eyebrow or my lip. My mom says no but im pretty sure im gonna get it anyway. I dnt really like it when she says no so ill bug her until she says yes. I might do it for my birthday. Im hangin out with my sister today. She has to go to work at 4 and then shes gonna pick me up and im gonna dye her hair and she is gonna pierce myy ear.! Im excited.

17 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Yuck-Blech-Gross! Janey, how is she going to pierce your ear without any numbing agent? I know that in the professional places they don’t numb your earlobe, either, but they have that tool that pierces it really fast – instantly. It stings for only a second. The thought of using something like a needle or whatever to try and poke it through gradually…I want to hurl just thinking about it. Make sure it doesn’t get infected.

Cloey, any more news about Marlee?

17 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Hi there, Lara. How’s it going? Are you over your illness from a while back? Sometimes getting that sick makes you weak for a while after.

17 06 2009
janey

i do it with the back of tghe earring. i just poke it thru realy fast. thts how ive dont three of my piercings. it doesnt really hurt.

17 06 2009
janey

im getting my eyebrow done =]

18 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Janey, did your mom cave and finally agree to let you pierce your face?

18 06 2009
lara21167

Janey, ugh, your going to make me sick too lol. I’m picturing Sandy on “Grease” when Frenchy was going to pierce her ears 🙂

Yes Witchy I’m still really tired, but otherwise feeling ok. That was a nasty flu. I’m getting a flu shot this year.

18 06 2009
Clo

Actually Witchy, it’s way better to get a piercing done with a needle than a gun. (I had my eyebrow done twice, my tongue once, and one of my tattoos was done in a place that also does piercings, so I’ve talked a lot to artists about that kinda thing. Plus I also am really anal about my piercings {when I had them at least} and my tats and I tend to go to higher end shops. I may pay more, but at least I know my stuff is clean, and it’s done by someone who takes hours of EXTRA training on top of all their other certificates.) Anyway, I’ve heard countless stories about how guns have gotten jammed, stuck, haven’t gone off properly. One of the guys who worked at the tattoo shop had gotten one of his ear piercings done with a gun, and he had this huge ugly scar because the gun got stuck on his ear. It’s gross. Needles are best, and I would always get them done in a shop. I’ve also heard major horror stories about nasty infections people get from doing it themselves.

As far as the eyebrow, my first one didn’t hurt at all. Then it fell out at camp and by the time I got home it closed up. So a year later I went to have it redone, and THAT hurt like a mother. I guess I had all this scar tissue from the first time, so yeah. That wasn’t fun.

I just got a text from my friend this morning. The baby had surgery and seems to be doing fine. As long as she eats she’ll most likely go home this weekend.

Speaking of this weekend: My friend Brook is coming up from Memphis to visit. We went down in Feb. to see them. I’m actually not really looking forward to their visit. They’re coming up Saturday night which means they’ll be here for Father’s Day. Well, they’re not really around their Dad’s, so they didn’t realize it was Father’s Day. We had already made plans to go out of town for the day to have a cookout at Jeremy’s Aunt and Uncles. When we found out they were coming, we asked, and Jeremy’s Aunt and Uncle said they could come along too. Well, Brook and Jay (her boyfriend) refuse to go. Brook says it’ll be weird, which I kinda get, I mean they don’t know these people. But Brook didn’t think it was weird at all to take me to her Mom and Aunt’s house when I was in Memphis, whom I’ve never met. Then it comes out that her boyfriend Jay (who’s black) researched and found out where the highest population of black people are. They’re stopping in Cinci before they come here, and he’s making them drive 30 minutes outside of Cincinatti to eat because that town has the highest percent of african americans. He doesn’t want to go to Chillocothe because it doesn’t have a very high percentage. WHAT THE HELL! Who does that? And why is that NOT considered racist to do, but I know damn well had I researched where the highest percentage of white people were, and insisted on going there, it WOULD be considered racist. So then I have to go to camp one of the days they’ll be down here. I’m only working 6 days total this summer, and it’s the first week, it would be really dumb of me to skip it. Brook had to work one day while we were down in Memphis. But, I ask if they can come with me. And they can. Only once again, they refuse to come. And then she’s complaining about how little time we’ll have together.

Am I wrong to say that if she wanted to see me so badly, she’d come with me? I just don’t even really want to see them. Jay’s annoying enough as it is. And this time if he pulls the same shit he did in Memphis, I’m just going to leave.

So yeah, I think that’s all on my life right now.

18 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Oh, yeah, Cloey…what Jay did was definitely racist; there’s no room for doubt on that. Let me guess: does he pretty much dominate every aspect of Brook’s life? Is everything done on HIS terms? Does she seem to have different views/behavior than you’d expect from her since being with him? I’m totally making assumptions, but I’ve seen it so many times. I’ve also seen it the other way, where the woman totally dominates the male, and he follows everything she thinks and does like a trained dog. I can’t stand that type of interaction between couples. Again, I could be all wrong. But, the guy sounds like a total pain-in-the-ass to be around. What a douche. I don’t blame you for not looking forward to the visit; it sounds like more hassle than fun. Yes, Brook SHOULD make more of an effort to be with you on your “home-turf”…why else is she coming out in the first place? Have you spoken to Brook honestly about your feelings regarding this? Those kinds of negative undercurrents can really put a damper on even close friendships.

18 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Also, does Jay seem to look down on ALL other races, or just “Wonder-Bread-Whiteys”? Just curious.

18 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Oh yeah, meant to ask: what “shit” did Jay pull when you visited them in Memphis? I don’t remember if you said anything about it or not.

18 06 2009
lara21167

Agree with Witchy, that is racist, and I have a real problem with that because when I was in Elementry school I was good friends with this girl and she was black, when we went to Junior High, she wouldn’t even talk to me because I was white. She started hanging with black girls and would only say hi to me if we ran into each other when her friends weren’t with her.

And I also agree with Witchy it sounds like Brooke does what Jay wants her to. She probably doesn’t have a problem going to Jeremy’s Aunt and Uncle with you or to camp. It’s probably Jay. that makes things hard on your friendship.

Piercing, I remember when my niece got her tongue pierced at some shop downtown and it got infected. After it healed they did it again and again it got infected. Finally she went somewhere better and no infection. So Janey make sure everything is sterile!!! 🙂

18 06 2009
janey

i did it.!
it didnt hurt.!
we used a hooked, thick needle.

and witchy, this is how the conversation with my mom went.

last week:
me: mom, im getting a piercing.
mom: where.?
Me: i havent decided yet.
Mom: dont decide. youre not getting one.
Me: WHY NOT.?
mom: cause i said no.
me: ohk. [in hushed tone] we’ll see.

yesterday:
me: can i get my eyebrow pierced.?
mom: NO
Me: WHY.?
mom: cause. i said no.
Me: THATS NOT AN ANSWER. ITS MY EYEBROW.
Mom: remember what happened to your sister.?
me: im not her. can you just say yes like you know your gonna do anyway.?
mom. FINE.! do what ever you want like you were gonna do anyways. get ur eyebrow pierced. yuo can pierce your ass for all i care.!

and then i got on the phone and called my sister and told her mommy said yes.

soooo. i know. i sound like a spoiled bitch. but. my mom has always gotten me what i want because she feels guilty cause shes always at work and never home. so i have gotten used to getting what i want when i want it and when she says no. it pisses me off. like really bad. and i wont stop until she says yes. i guess is a good trait to have when what i want actually means something to me or is important. but for my mom, its a pian in her ass.
and the truth is i would have doen even if she said no.

anyways.
so last night at was at my sisters house and we had the needele. we stirilized it. and rubbed alcohol on my eyebrow. then we slowly hooked it thru. it didnt hurt at all. and since it needed to be thick we left it for like 5 minutes. i was walking around with a huge hooked needle stcking out of my eyebrow. the as we were taking the needle out we put the ring in. it was cool. i did the middle of my cartilage this morning before school. i had to take my biology exam. my best friend Zack said i look more rebellious than i a already am. he said “you were already problem child. now you REALLY look it” =]

i wonder what he’ll say when he sees my hair. im dtying purple and black.

18 06 2009
janey

if you guys wanna see. i put pix on myspace.

18 06 2009
Clo

I dunno how he feels about other races, we’ve just mainly been on the white/black issue. In Memphis he was just a one-upper. Everything was better (or some case worse, like we went to a neighborhood and he was like ‘you don’t have neighborhoods this bad in Columbus.’ and I’m like a.) yeah we do and b.) why would you brag about that anyway?) He has to be right ALL the time, got into a HUGE argument with me because we went to the mall and they had a godiva store (the chocolate?) and I called it go-dive-a (like it’s supposed to be pronounced.) and he started laughing and was like “It’s go-diva (as in Tina Turner is a DIVA) and just kept going on and on about how it was go-diva. Then he went home and googled it, and found out I was right. He started bragging about how Memphis is like the 18th biggest city or something, and how Columbus is so small (btw, we’re the 15th biggest city in the country, so we’re actually more populated than Memphis.) Just dumb ass stuff. Like how old are you? And I just KNOW he’s going to come up and talk about how much shit here sucks. And it’s just like, whatever, then, go home. I just hope to GOD he doesn’t talk about our zoo, because it’s like a BIG sense of pride here, and we JUST beat out the San Diego zoo for the number one ranking, which is HUGE.

There were two major arguments: One was we went gambling in Tunica, and Brook had these two cards they got from a Grizzlies game for like 10 or 20 dollars worth of free gambling. They couldn’t use them, because they had already used two cards. So they both said we could have them. Well, we stopped in this other casino for lunch (they had a wicked nice buffet) and while there Jeremy won like 80 bucks. It was random, and lucky. Jay got ALL sorts of pissed off, and suddenly didn’t feel like going to the other casino. So then Brook was like “Well, maybe they can sign up the cards in their name and use one, and give us one to share.” and I was like whatever. Jay was just being jealous that Jeremy won money, but I didn’t care, I’m not really a huge fan of gambling anyway. So we go to the other casino where the cards are good at. We can’t take Cayden on the floor with us, so Brook and I sit out in the lobby and let the guys go play. They were supposed to use half the cards and come back. Jeremy did, Jay just kept playing. He used all the cards. He won some money, like 10 bucks, no big deal. Well Brook wanted to play so he grudgingly gave Brook the 10 bucks he won. Brook lost it. Jay was LIVID. It was just SO dumb. I”m like, you know you were supposed to give her 10 bucks to play with anyway. So then he started going off on me about it, and it was just so dumb. And I mean, at the time he didn’t work, so it was like, Brook gave him money all the time from her paycheck. You can’t give up ten bucks of your own?

Then the second huge argument we got in, was all week long we’d be cracking dumb “racist” jokes. Like Jay would be like “I can’t eat over here, with all you white people” or stupid shit like that. I mean it was coming from both sides. So then we go to the zoo, and Jay looks at Cayden and goes “See the monkey Cayden?” and I was like “Yeah he’s standing right next to one” It was a JOKE. We’d been doing it ALL week. And I mean, if he got offended, it’s fine. But he could have said “You crossed a line there” and I would have apologized. Instead he gets all mad and like storms off and all this shit. So i went up and I apologized, cuz I did feel bad. But he just kept pouting and pouting. I felt so bad I cried. So then finally he gets over. We eat lunch, walk around the zoo, do some other stuff. No joke, two HOURS later, he starts getting all pissed off again, and I hear Brook go “It was a joke, she said she was sorry, there’s nothing else she can do.” to him. He got mad all over again. It was just dumb.

Brook has changed a little around him, I dunno. But she’s kinda guy dependent. It just makes me mad that she is complaining about not spending time with me, and I give her a chance too, and she won’t take it. And then, this is supposed to be HER birthday trip. But they’re spending a day in Cincinatti to see 2 baseball games. Does Brook like baseball? Nope. And Jay’s bitching about how much money they have, major league baseball games are EXPENSIVE. I’m like if this is a trip as a present to your girlfriend, shouldn’t it be about what SHE wants to do? And they plan to cram like so much into spending like 2 days. 2 baseball games, they plan to go to the zoo and the newport aquarium. It took us four hours to do the cinci zoo and we didn’t even see everything. Then the Aquarium took us about that long, if not longer, and it’s like to drive to it and park all that… They won’t have enough time.

Now Jeremy’s making me mad. Cayden caught his cold deal (same thing you had I think Laura) a week or two ago. It wasn’t as bad, but now I just think something is off with him. He woke up today, was up for an hour and went back to sleep, slept for 2 1/2 hours, was up for a half hour went back down for another 2 hours, and now he looks ready for sleep again and has been up for maybe an hour. HYe threw up twice yesterday, has had more frequent poops, on and off runny nose. jeremy thinks its nothing, and he’s pissing me off cuz he just doesn’t care.

18 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Holy shit, Janey. I just ate, and reading about the nasty details makes me think I’m going to need some more lunch pretty soon, since mine is going to find it’s way somewhere other than my stomach. BLECH!

18 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Cloey, high-maintenance personalities annoy me, because you never feel like you can relax around people like that. ANYTHING could piss them off, or offend, or “hurt their feelings”…or whatever. It’s draining, and I usually wind up looking for an exit pretty fast, since I don’t like feeling resentful and nervous. What did Jeremy do while all that crap about Dumbass looking like a monkey was going on? Did it piss him off when you started crying? He should have been put in his place…sigh. Now THAT’S what I call a big baby. Even worse? He’s stingy on top of it. What does Brook see in him, let alone even stand him for 5 minutes?

Yeah, it does sound like Cayden migh have something. Is he running a temperature? Is it possible that he could be teething and/or going through a growth spurt? Even babies sleep more when they’re growing a lot at once…just like teenagers. It is irritating when guys want to always think everything is “fine” when you KNOW something is off. Moms are just plain better at figuring things like that out, and we notice small details way before most men do. Let us know how Cayden is.

Btw…SO glad Marlee seems to be doing fine. That’s great, Cloey.

18 06 2009
janey

witchy- hehe.
i sowwy =]

18 06 2009
Witchypoo33

That’s ok, you little demon.

19 06 2009
janey

o have to wake p at 6 tomorrow so i can b at school by 7.1o.
grrr. why can just school be over and done with.?
they should give us the damn tests in class the last week of school.
this is just stupid.
did i mention that my biology exam was 25 PAGES LONG.?
yea. it was 25 pages long. i have to take 2 longer ones tomorrow.
last year they used to let us leave an hour and a half after the test started if we were done. now we HAVE to stay for two of the three and half hours. i was done with my test in an hour and 15 minutes. i had to sit there. for 40 minutes. just starting straight ahead cause if i turned they could have assumed i was cheating. i was goin insane.

19 06 2009
Clo

We took Cayden to the urgent care. I was right. He has an ear infection. 😦

19 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Ohhh, the poor little guy. Did the doctor say if you caught it fairly early? Cayden probably would have been crying a lot and not sleeping well at all if it hurt him a lot. See? Your mommie’s instincts are very finely-honed, Cloey. Cayden is so lucky to have such a caring, observant mommie. Let us know how he’s feeling, Sweetie.

Janey, just be glad you obviously don’t have problems academically, or problems taking tests. A lot of students do, and they struggle to finish AT ALL, let alone early. You’re almost done for the summer, then you can kick back. Also, I hope I don’t piss you off when I say that it wouldn’t hurt to take it easy on your mom. Obviously, I don’t know her, but I’m betting by how you describe her “guilt” over working so much that she does the best she can for you, Janey. It’s not easy being a parent, and I’m sure single-parenting is even more challenging. When she says, “No,” it’s probably because she’s looking out for your best interests, because she loves you. Ok, lecture-time is officially over now.

Lara…sorry to hear you’re still so tired. That’s so hard – keeping a packed schedule when you’re just not feeling right. Are you getting enough rest? What about vitamins? I think I’ve asked you that before, but I don’t remember what you said. A little self-pampering wouldn’t hurt, Sweetlara.

19 06 2009
lara21167

No Witchy I’m not getting enough rest, I get up now about 6:30 and haven’t been getting to bed until 11 – 11:30 I’m someone who needs a good 8 hours of sleep. Then Ginger has decided she doesn’t like her cage anymore and pretty much whines all night long. And the stupid thing is she is growing to be pretty obedient and will sleep with Kristy ALL NIGHT happily. And I like her to sleep with Kristy, because even though she’s not a big dog she has a strong bite and god help anyone who would break into our apartment and try to harm Kristy (funny sidenote, my hubby was playing around with Kristy last night, they were kind of wrestling standing up and Kristy was yelling “offame” (that’s you she says get off of me when she’s irritated. Anyhoo poor Ginger had a fit she was barking and jumping up at my hubby and I told him he better let go of Kristy before Ginger bites him because she was about to. The poor dog acted like she didn’t want to but would if she had to) Back to the cage. My hubby insists on keeping her in her cage at night, he just can’t get over the way she was in her distructive stage. So we’ve been argueing over this.

Janey I’m freaked out to thinking of that hook sticking through your eyebrow!! And you pierced your cartledge in your ear yourself?? I guess I’m a wuss when it comes to pain lol. And I was a spoiled brat when I was your age, rememeber my mother died when I was 11. So my Dad had the guilt thing about me growing up without a mother and would pretty much give me what I wanted. If he said no, I’d just keep bugging him until he said yes. But remember this Janey, I’m getting my payback now with Krisy, she’ll nag me to death when she wants something.

Btw, Kristy’s final report card came and she her average final grades are all A’s and 1 B and the B was an 89 percent!! I hope she keeps this up!!

Cloey yes always trust you instincts when it comes to your child being sick and be easy with Jeremy, men just don’t have that instinct. Oh and good luck with your friend’s b/f. He sounds like a real jerk.

19 06 2009
Clo

Thanks guys. It was just kinda funny cuz Jeremy and I got into a HUGE fight about it last night before we took him. And Jeremy was like “I just don’t think there’s cause for concern” and I just kept telling him “something isn’t right, he’s not acting like himself.” Well we were in the car because Jeremy traded his golf clubs for a ps3 on craigslist (what the hell he needs a ps3 for, I don’t know.) and Cayden just starts SCREAMING and nothing I say or did or gave him would make him stop. So I just keep giving Jeremy this look. And finally he goes “Well fuck it, we’ll take him to urgent care.” And sure enough the doctor walked in, looked at his ear and was like “Ear infection.” He also said his throat was red, but that could have just been from the screaming fit a little earlier. It was weird too cuz the second we got to the urgent care Cayden just quit crying. And he looked up and smiled at me like “Mommy we won” lol. And so I was being a sore winner last night and got a “You were right, I was wrong” from both Jeremy and my Mother. He seems to be WAY better now that he’s on his medicine, and way happier. I don’t think the meds worked that fast, I just think he knows he’s getting help so he doesn’t have to act like a big baby. He’s so stinking cute.

And Janey I’m telling you, you better be careful with the piercing at home. I would NEVER do it, and it has nothing to do with my pain tolerance, but people have been disfigured by some nasty infection. I just don’t play with that kinda stuff.

Laura- I feel like I’m not getting any sleep as well, but it’s crazy cuz I’m probably getting the most sleep I’ve gotten in awhile. Cayden slept through the night last night, and even when he hasn’t, he’s only been getting up once, and Jeremy’s been taking that. But tell Kristy I said congrats on the good grades!

19 06 2009
janey

hey guys. Go—–d.!
i just got home. i been in school since 8. taking the damn tests.
global history was 21 pages and 2 essays and math was 20 pages.
jesus. im tired. im goin to have a glass of milk and go to bed.

and witchy- its not like im mean to her and my step dad is really strict
so i guess they do have some type of control over me. but when they say no it turns into a huge deal and then they give up. its easier just to say yes. =]
but. im tired.!!!

and. im thinking about gettong back with stephon.

19 06 2009
janey

im taking the baby cousins to see Up. they r 1 and three

20 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Lara…Ginger sounds funny. I don’t know if you remember or not, but we have 2 beagles, a boy and a girl, (Wolfie and Sunny, respectively). Anyhoo, they are THE sweetest, most playful and silly dogs ever, and very gentle. BUT, they’re very protective, like Ginger. One time, they ran out the front door, and this huge German Shepard across the culdesac was going after Sunny, (the girl); before she had a chance to react, though, Wolfie, (who’s smaller than Sunny…he was the runt of his litter and still looks like a pup), attacked the big dog, and our little beagle looked like a different dog – just completely ferocious. The Shepard, (Max), backed off and ran into his yard, confused and unhappy-looking. It was funny…Beau and Chance still talk about that. It’s nice that Kristy and Ginger are so close.

20 06 2009
lara21167

That’s funny Witchy, I could see Ginger doing that, she has no fear of other dogs big or small. Oh another funny thing she did when she was in heat. We were taking her for her evening walk and across the street a guy was walking a male Bassett Hound. Well Ginger saw him and stopped and let out a “yowl” and the Bassett stopped and gave a couple barks back. They should there “smiling” at each other until the guy pulled his Bassett away and I pulled Ginger away calling her a little hussy. 🙂 She’s out of heat now btw. Good thing.

20 06 2009
janey

The movie was really funny. Now im goin to albany with a bunch of my cousin to hang out and partyy and stuff.

23 06 2009
janey

where is everyone.?

23 06 2009
lara21167

Don’t know janey, i’m here. Cloey I know is busy with her friends. Now that Rowdy has me hooked on her story I can’t wait for the next segment 🙂

Janey are you completely done with school now?

23 06 2009
monkeyspeaks

Hey guys – Lara, I haven’t written a new one yet. I mean I have one started that I just can’t come to terms with. Something is just so OFF about it. So I have to work on that one.

Some personal things have come up so I’m kind of dealing with all of that right now, and we may have finally found a house. Although we got some bad news about it. I mean we can still move in and the price is BEYOND right, but we have to double check some things before we officially sign the lease.

23 06 2009
janey

im officially done with school lara.
i took my last test today.
i passed three out of the four which means i have to take and pass
the one i failed in august and if i fail it again i take it in january. the point is
to pass it before the end out senior year. i have to keep goin tho to finish a class credit before i go to the college program. im excited. we leave in 12 days.!

im soooo tired tho. im sooo glad its over and i get to sleep.

24 06 2009
janey

facebook is the place to have the most random conversations.!

24 06 2009
lara21167

Did you just start a facebook Janey? I have one, I don’t use it much. I haven’t really figured it out much yet. Darn girl when do you start back to school? They don’t give you much of a summer break do they?

Rowdy take your time with your story, I do enjoy though.

24 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Yeah, we get that you have a life outside of this blog, Goldie. (What? You mean WE’RE not the center of your universe?) Take care.

24 06 2009
Witchypoo33

What’s the main differences between Facebook and Myspace, anyway? They seem similar.

24 06 2009
lara21167

Witchy I like myspace better, it’s more private. On facebook you can post comments on “your wall” and everyone can comment on that topic. Ok maybe kind of like this or bedroom blog lol.

24 06 2009
lara21167

I just need to get used to it I guess. As soon as I do, everyone will be going to Twitter. Always something new and improved out there.

24 06 2009
gabberjazz

hey everyone….
long time no talk How is evryone doing!!!!

24 06 2009
lara21167

Glad you found it Gabber!! How’s things with you with the pregnancy and what about the father??

24 06 2009
monkeyspeaks

I’ve actually all but stopped using MySpace. To me (and this is just MHO) I find it really juvenile compared to Facebook.

I got into myspace a bit because I was part of a blog group on there, but when that dissipated I found myself curious less and less. I’ve had facebook since college, back in the day when it was only college students. I’ve found that it continues on that trend. Facebook has more networkers and college students no it while Myspace continues to cater to the middle school and high school demographic.

I also like facebooks layout. You get used to it Lara. At first everyone was like but it’s gonna be public, everything I do! The fact is, it always was. I think the fact that you KNOW what you write will be public helps curtail people from writing things they may later regret. ITs an amazing networking tool when used appropriately and there is less on there that could be considered “questionable.”

Employers will frequent networking pages and judge you accordingly, so always keep that in mind. Mine isn’t pristine, I should clean it up. When I dont feel so blech. But yea, so far, Facebook is my favorite. I like twitter but I have’t gotten that wrapped up in it yet.

24 06 2009
monkeyspeaks

And part of the reason why I don’t post certain things on my blog and why I keep work out of my blog is the same idea. If someone in my personal life or work life were to stumble onto this, I dont want anything on here that I wouldn’t tell them outright. Always have to be careful.

24 06 2009
gabberjazz

Well things are crazy here in my world, lol, the father of the baby got married to his gf which is ok with me, I am off now on mat leave because it is too dangerous in the prison for me… I have only gained 18 pounds with the baby so far so that is good. I have found someone too he was my instructor in corrections school and we met again not too long ago, he’s fine with helping raise my girls and the new baby so things do work out, the baby’s father and I are still partners and we get along really well, his wife hates that but meh I don’t think much of her anyways. He said he will support the baby and be there for both of us if needed….. I just want baby out lol
so whats new around here?

24 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Gabber…Hey, Lady! Nice to hear from you. It sounds like things are really going well for you; that’s great. Out of curiosity, is your partner’s current wife the one who screwed around with him while he was married to someone else, with kids? I guess what comes around goes around, hugh?

Take care, and keep letting us know how things are going, and where you’re at in the pregnancy, (speaking of…how far along are you?).

24 06 2009
lara21167

Gabber I think it’s great things are working out for you. I was worried with you working in the prison being pregnant. Glad you and your partner are able to work all out.

Rowdy, I started the myspace to get to my daughter’s cheerleading myspace. And I started the Facebook because Avon has a link to my website from it. So friends have found me lol. And one of my sister’s has a facebook, but she’s hardly ever on the computer. I have to get my oldest sister to start one. We don’t see each other much so I do like the social networking things to keep in touch with people. Of course strange people find me like the guy I went to High School with that I don’t really remember. (I do recognize the name just can’t place him) He had a myspace now a facebook. He seems a bit strange from his comments but I suppose harmless.

24 06 2009
gabberjazz

Witchy…
yes she is that exact one lol yes what comes around goes around not that its a nice thing to say . I am due August 5th…. I wish time will hurry up…….

Lara:
I am actually not returning to the prison after I have the baby, I took the test for being an instructor and passed so I will be going to the local corrections college and hopefully helping new recruits pass all the tests and firearms to become an officer….. The only time I will see inmates is when there is an ERT call out….

24 06 2009
monkeyspeaks

I think what a lot of people forget that they don’t HAVE to friend people. Like for instance a boy I grew up with is on my friend list. His mom seemed to take this as invitation to friend me. I continue to decline her requests. There is just no real reason for her to have access to that part of my life.

I have a lot more friends on there than I would like. This is mainly because when facebook started I would friend anyone. It wasn’t that personal of a networking site yet, and when you’re in college you’ll friend anyone! Now taht this point I want to go through and clean house. I have certain criteria. As in, if you aren’t a friend of mine, you shouldnt be “my friend.” If I wouldnt stop on the street to say hello to you? You shouldn’t be my friend. I only have two friends who are also coworkers, but I wont friend most of the people in my office. I just dont think it’s appropriate. I dont know. I guess i have my rules for all social networking.

1) If I can’t say it to my mother, or if I dont want my mother knowing, dont put it up. Which is very little. Im VERY VERY VERY VERY open with my mom. In fact I made her a facebook page of her own because I wanted her to get on it.
2) If it could get me in trouble, don’t put it up or say it
3) Facebook is for fun, its not meant to rule life (i.e. dont get sucked into it. don’t freaked out about relationship statuses, etc. Allt he kind of stuff you hear kids freaking out about today… “why hasn’t he put in a relationship on his status, there are other girls messaging him, what do i do, etc” basically, Keep my social life, my social life and use facebook solely to keep in touch with those far away).
4) if you aren’t really my friend don’t be insulted if i dont friend you or ignore your request. Like, if you guys were to find me I wouldn’t necessarily ignore you. But I am constantly hitting “Ignore Request” for my moms friends and their kids, from people who just happened to go to high shcool with me but never talked to me, from people who are friends of friends. Im not on facebook to make new friends. Im on it to keep in touch with old ones.

25 06 2009
lara21167

That’s the way I think about the social networks, they are great to keep in touch with friends and family that are far away or you don’t see or talk to that much. Seems like when you get married and have a family of your own, you don’t have as much time for old friends and the social networks can be great for keeping in touch with them. I know my daughter complains that she only has x amount of friends on myspace and so and so has over 100. I try to explain she doesn’t need that many “friends”. I think it some kind popularity thing. I won’t let Kristy except any friends she doesn’t know. Yes I moniter her myspace, which reminds me I haven’t looked at it lately so I need to lol.

Speaking of Kristy, Guess who started her period last night?? Shhh, I’m not supposed to tell anyone. Poor child she is gets soooo embarrased about such things for some reason. She came out of the bathroom after taking a bath, went in her room and called to me to come in there. Poor thing was in tears, her undies were lying on her bed. I asked her what was wrong and she wouldn’t say anything just looked at her undies on the bed. So I smiled and asked “did you start your period?” and she said “I don’t know”. I looked at her undies and there was just a little brown spotting in them. So I hugged her and showed her how to put a pad on. And said that I know most of her friends had already started, she asked who and I told her, I talk to their mothers lol. So that seemed to make her feel better, but she asked me not to tell anyone. And not tell her Daddy. I don’t know why she gets so embarrased about things. When she was 4 or 5 I took her to the doctor for a check up and the nurse told her to undress. Well she blatenly refused to. When the nurse came back in she was a bit mean about it. Said if she didn’t undress the doctor wouldn’t be able to examine her. I didn’t see why the doctor couldn’t just examine her with her clothes on. Anyway the modesty is probably a good thing, I think if a boy tries to get in her pants, he’s going to get punched 🙂

Gabber I’m glad you got a different position. Your old position just seems way too dangerous. Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?

25 06 2009
janey

good morning.!
im extremely excited today.!
im goin to buy my purple dye today.!

25 06 2009
janey

Gabber- its so nice to hear from you.!
i was wondering how you were.
how are your daughters adjusting the the idea of the new baby pretty soon.?
is it a boy or a girl.?

Lara- i first got mine two months before i turned 11.
it was pretty awkward for me cause my mom called all our female relatives to et them know. it is kinda embarrasing. i dunno. its just an awkward stage of life.

25 06 2009
Clo

Gabber- Nice to have you back. I’m curious too, boy or girl? And I think like the last couple of months are the hardest (i know you’ve already been through this twice, lol, so you know.) But 2 months doesn’t seem that long of a time, but then again it just takes FOREVER. And you’re due the day after my sister’s birthday.

Laura- I didn’t tell my Mom about my period. Ever. I seriously used to hide my pad wrapped like bury them in the trash cuz I was just super embarassed. I did the same when I shaved my legs for the first time, I hid them from my Mom. I dunno, stuff like that is just really embarassing the first time around.

Myspace vs. Facebook: I’ve been getting on facebook more and more, but I still have and dick around on my myspace. I like Myspace’s blog section much more than Facebooks’ notes. I need to switch my facebook to private but keep forgetting to do it.

I’m highly annoyed today, it’s just been a long and hectic week. I don’t like not having time to myself, it makes me really irritated. I’m trying to get Cayden back into the doctor, because I still feel like something is off with him, but once again, like nobody believes me. The antibiotic they put him on is making him poop like crazy, he usually does it once a day, and he was up to 3 times a day. Last night he pooped in his sleep, which he has NEVER done. By ten AM this morning he had already pooped twice. The first time I changed him was in his room, which was kinda dark, and he was being really fussy but he has been lately so I didn’t think much of it. All morning long he’d be super fussy when I set him down, but didn’t think anything of it, because he’s got a mommy complex lately, and wants to be held by me, all. the. time. Seriously if Jeremy’s holding him and I’m even in the same room, he starts reaching for me and crying. It was cute at first and now REALLY annoying. Anyway, so we finally come downstairs from upstairs, and I smell poop again, so I go to change him. The poor thing has a HORRIBLE diaper rash. Cayden has NEVER had a diaper rash this bad, or even really a diaper rash at all. We’re lucky that he has super un-sensitive skin, and he’s gotten like a touch of redness here and there but one little dab of diaper cream and by next change it was gone. This is bumpy (which means it’s yeast), it’s on his butt, his testicles, the creases in his leg, his penis… I had to wipe him and he was just SCREAMING. I can’t set him down. And worse yet, because I let Cayden chew on my phone, he drooled in the microphone and nobody can hear me, so I can’t call the doctor, I have to wait for Jeremy to call the doctor and call me back. And I have no way of even getting TO the doctor. It’s a mess right now.

25 06 2009
Clo

Mmm, today is just getting better and better. So, Jeremy got us a doctor’s appointment and was going to come home, have me take him back to work, and then I was gonna take Cayden to the doctor. Well, Jeremy comes home and I’m trying to lay with Cayden on the couch to get him to go to sleep. I asked Jeremy to bring me a brownie from the kitchen (I’ve already eaten a couple at this point) So I’m eating it, and talking to Jeremy, and I look down, and there are these brown spots on my arm. And I’m thinking to myself “How are these brownie crumbs sticking to my arm like that…. And why are they moving?” I realize, they’re ants. I was eating a brownie (and let’s be honest, that was my 3rd brownie of the day) COVERED in ants. Jeremy goes into the kitchen, they’re all over our counter. We usually have an ant problem when summer hits, but usually they’re either in our living room, the downstairs bathroom, or by the back door where the dog/cat food is. Not really in the kitchen. Jeremy has sprayed EVERYWHERE, which must be why we’re not seeing them anywhere else, because he doesn’t spray the kitchen. They’re coming in from the outlet. What the hell?

25 06 2009
gabberjazz

Clo:
Ants yuck I would rather face a 300 pound man on crack than an ant only because they are so small and can fit into any small space I am getting the willies just thinking about it….
Yes ladies I know what I am having……and Ihave the name already too…….. It’s another girl….. I really an happy because I don’t think a boy would survive with my other girly girls lol….plus my male cat hates men…. Her name will be Nevaeh. And Clo for the diaper rash what I did was baking soda with milk made a paste and put it on for an hour with no diaper on works like a charm…..

25 06 2009
lara21167

Alright Cloey I’m still laughing about the ants sorry. People do eat them though, chocolate covered too. Now to me it sounds like Cayden is having a reaction to the anti biotic. It may be too strong for him or he may be allergic. So yea get him to the doc. Kristy was an infant and I had to give her amoxicilian for something (prob an ear infection) anyhoo she was on it almost the full 10 days and broke out in hives all over. It was so bad I took her to the ER. And they said to stop giving her the amoxicilian, she’d been on it like 8 days they said that was good enough for whatever she was on it for. Then they said to give her benedril for the hives. But I don’t think you are supposed to give benedril to babies anymore. Isnt’ it one of the banned meds for babies?

Gabber’s baking soda paste sounds like it would work good on the diaper rash. I’d take a home cure over the crap in medicines anyday. (btw Cloey, a home remedy for ear infection, although with Cayden being so young I’d still have a doctor check him out, but you mix garlic and olive oil and put a few drops in the ear, works great. My step mother told me that. Now she uses fresh garlic. But I’ve used powdered garlic and it works just as well.)

Let us know as soon as you can how Cayden is.

25 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Yeah, Cloey…I was going to say that the rash sounds like a reaction to the antibiotics. If it’s just localized only in the diaper area, they might just tell you to keep him on it unless other symptoms appear…I don’t know. I remember that same thing happening with Beau or Chance, (or both), with antibiotics, though. Have you talked to the pediatrician’s office, yet, (or whatever doctor you took Cayden to, I mean)?

Ants? Gross about them being on your arm and food. Blech! Not as bad as some other insects I can think of, though, (like maggots…YUCK!). Sounds like your day is pretty eventful, so far, Cloey.

25 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Oh!…I forgot: Beau just came busting in here to tell me that he and Chance took off Heath’s training wheels from his bike, (WITHOUT asking), and Heath is riding around like a pro! I went out and took pictures…he looks so happy about his accomplishment!

25 06 2009
lara21167

That’s the way to do it Witchy, without permission. My hubby’s twin newphews taught Kristy, they may have taught Richie too.

And congrats to Heath, such a simple thing, but such a big milestone. 🙂

25 06 2009
gabberjazz

Ok this preggo mama is a My guy just called and told me one of the recruits is in love with him…. She failed the fire arms portion of training so they released her from CTP training. And he got an email from her today telling him that he was her distraction during ctp but in a good way… he told me that he wrote back telling her that he was surprised and that he is now involved with someone and in a few months we are getting engaged but thank though and he’s flattered…… hmmmm now I have to think about all these women he teaches and I am at home all fat and unattractive and its not even his kid melt down or what!

25 06 2009
gabberjazz

supposed to say this preggo mama is pi ss ed

25 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Hey, Lara…I meant to tell you to say, “Good Job!” from Witchy, (Kim), for her really impressive grades. That’s GREAT! Isn’t it nice to see your baby doing so well in school? Yup.

25 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Gabber…I’ll bet you’re really beautiful to him – not “fat and unattractive” like you’re depicting yourself. Lots of guys think women are gorgeous and sexy during pregnancy.

25 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Also, what a dumbass excuse for failing her firearms training…attraction-distraction? Putz.

25 06 2009
lara21167

Gabber, oh I have to laugh, such pregnancy hormones. I’m sure you are beautiful always to him. And he sounds like a great guy who loves you and your 2 girls, that aren’t his, and the one on the way. take care.

25 06 2009
Clo

We took him to the doctor. I got lectured cause he’s still waking up in the night. They told me to stop feeding him at night, but I dunno how well that ones gonna work. Anyway they said a diaper rash is pretty common when a baby is on an antibiotic. They said the antibiotic killed all the good bacteria along with the bad, which let the yeast build up. Add in the fact that it’s summer, he’s sweating a ton, and that he’s also got diarreah and the poop is acidic, you’ve got a mess. They gave us some cream to use and checked his ear, which is better, so we can stop the antibiotic. They said no juice until his poop clears up.

As for the ants, I’m still grossed out.

25 06 2009
janey

Midnight Love

Midnight falls, like a blanket, cooling the heat of our love
Midnight love, dark, unexpected
Our passion, consummed us, made us one, like the moon in the night sky
The full moon, a perfect circle, our love completing the cycle
The stars in the sky, shine like the hopes and dreams of our life together
Midnight skies, the full moon, the stars
I see us reflected in them
The darness that surrounds the night, yet the light from the moon that lights it
What we’ve had to overcome, what we have become
We became one, a full circle, the fairy tale dancing around, in the dreams of almost every little girl
All in the Midst of our midnight love

i dunno. this just came to me.
let me know what you think. you guys know im not big on happy poems ;]

25 06 2009
janey

8th full line down, supposed to say “darKness”

25 06 2009
Clo

This day just gets weirder and weirder. Michael Jackson dying? Whoa.

26 06 2009
gabberjazz

not too sorry about that(MJ dying)

26 06 2009
janey

i KNOW.!
my best friend called me and this is how our converstation about that went:

Mae: Micheal jackson just died.
Me: you caught me on the way to the pool. and. no he didnt. Farrah Fawcett just died.
Mae: i dont know who that is. but turn on the TV. he totally just croaked.
Me: Mommy turn on the tv. Micheal Jackson died.!
so we turn on the tv and flip the channels until we confirm that he is in fact dead.
Me: ohk, you win. He croaked.
Mae: told you.
and then. she hung up on me.

26 06 2009
Witchypoo33

I’m glad Cayden’s ear infection is better. The waking up at night part…I didn’t really ever get that down with my guys. The older two just kind of outgrew it, and Heath still wakes up frequently to go to the bathroom, or just to ask for his covers to be readjusted, with another kiss/hug…or whatever. He’s sometimes pretty restless in his sleep, also.

I know I told Lara, but I don’t think I mentioned that today is Chancey’s 13th birthday! We got him a new phone, and an Ipod touch; he also got money. Saturday we’ll take him and a few of his friends to a movie, then to pizza and cake. Speaking of cake…I made a huge double-layer cake for him…one layer of chocolate fudge, the other is yellow. We ate dinner first, and I’m about to burst from the huge piece of cake I had. I’m so full right now. What’s everyone else up to?

26 06 2009
Clo

I am sorry about Michael Jackson dying. I mean, there was NO denying that the guy was a weirdo. But, I mean. Look back on his childhood, and I wonder… Can you really blame him? I mean we had this kid in camp, and he was a troubled kid, he had a really really rocky up bringing. Later on we found out that he had a baby, and ended up going to jail for beating the crap outta the kid. I mean we all know how hard it is to break a baby’s bone, since it’s not really bone yet, so they’re more bendy. He broke several of his kids bones. And I’m not saying that his childhood is an excuse at ALL, because it’s just not. But I think it’s at least a reason, if that makes sense. I mean, if all your life you beat the crap outta your kid and taught them that’s how you deal with things, is it really a shocker that they grow up to beat their own kid? I mean again, not saying it’s an excuse. He’s in jail, he belongs there. But I think sometimes there are reasons, and while the crime is still horrible, it makes a little bit more sense, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, so I kinda compare that to Michael Jackson. He’s a weirdo, but with his father, and being in the business, pretty much since he was a kid, I mean who KNOWS what happened to him. And I know, there’s the whole child molestor dealio, but the thing about that is, nobody knows. Could he have done it? Yeah, he could have. But you have to wonder why these parents would let a grown ass man have a sleep over with their child. If Justin Timberlake said, hey can Cayden come spend the night with me? It’d be a no. Just because their famous doesn’t mean you know them. So that right there makes me wonder if it was the parent just taking advantage of an opportunity to get some money from what looked to be a shady situation. He could have done it, he might not have. I don’t think we’ll ever know for sure.

All in all, it makes me super sad, especially since he has kids. Since I lost my father at a super young age, I don’t know. Hearing about other kids loosing their dads at a young age kinda brings back some issues for me. Like Elvis, or JFK, I know what it’s like in a way, to go to your Father’s funeral and be asked to deal and understand things that is really kinda out of a childs grasp. When I was younger I used to think people like Lisa Marie was lucky because she had her father documented, with pictures, and movies. I don’t own a single picture of my father, and for the life of me I can’t remember what his voice sounds like. But on the flip side of that, they also have to deal with hearing rumors, speculations, and also truths about their fathers which may have remained hidden from anyone else.

I dunno. I was a Michael Fan (of his old school stuff) but not a HUGE one. But this whole thing makes me feel a little uneasy, I’m not sure why though. I feel like something major is going to happen, or maybe the major thing is that he died. Like him or not, you can’t deny that he was a HUGE musical icon, and I think this may be the first HUGE musical icon that died in my generation’s lifetime. I dunno, again, I just feel really uneasy.

26 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Yes, Cloey…it is a big deal about Michael Jackson dying. I’ve always believed that we’ll just not ever really know the truth of the situations he was accused of being involved in. There was a lot of shady-sounding information coming out of all that…lots of questionable actions and behavior on the part of the parents. So, yeah – we just won’t ever really know the truth.

I’m sorry this is bringing up issues for you regarding your father. That must be really hard for you; I wish I could say something to make you feel better, Sweetie.

26 06 2009
Clo

It’s OK, it comes and goes. He’s been gone since I was five, almost 6, and I’m 23 now, so… I mean 17 years? Fuzzy math. I dunno. I mean obviously when you’re older and you lose a parent, it’s hard too. But there’s just something about it happening when you’re a child. You get used to it, but you never shake it. I had a lot of stuff come up when I was pregnant with Cayden, because part of me was jealous that Cayden was going to have a father and I never did, part of me was curious to see what it would be like, to see what Father’s do exactly… And then part of me was sad for Cayden, that he’d only have one Grandpa, a Grandpa that wasn’t exactly in the best of health either. I dunno. And a lot of times people want to compare having a parent die to having a parent who’s absent. And it’s not the same. I mean I know it hurts to have a parent snub you and all that, but at least there’s some bit of hope that maybe they’ll grow up and try to come back into your life. I remember watching this made for tv movie on John McCain’s life (and I wasn’t fond of him as president, but his life story? Amazing.) And it talked about how he was a POW, and how he came back to his kids… And I felt myself wishing that was my Dad, and that happened to him. Yes, it would suck having your Dad far away, and please don’t think I’m saying it wouldn’t. And I know being a POW is no picnic. But to be able to have that hope? To be able to go to sleep every night and think “Maybe Dad will come home tomorrow” or wake up and think “Maybe Dad will come home today”? I don’t have that. I never had that. I will never have it.

And it also makes me a little to hear people talk badly about Elvis, or Michael Jackson, or other famous people who have died. I’m not saying you have to love them, there are plenty of people I’m not fond of, but some of the things people say… Would they want someone to say that about their dad or mom? I’m guilty of being a tabloid hound, I won’t deny it. But it just kinda makes me sick too. Eventually enough is enough, and to see people chasing after his ambulance and trying to snap pictures of him? I have NO desire to see Michael Jackson lying lifeless in the back of an Ambulance. I’ve seen that with my Dad (who died of a heart attack, pretty much what MJ died of, or at least what they’re speculating he died of.) Who wants to see that? Who wants that splashed across the internet and one day his children might come across that? The same thing with Princess Diana, or with Britney Spears. It’s like you push and you push and you push and magnify these cracks, and you wonder why people break. We all do things that could be considered shady, bad, or wrong. We all have our secrets. And I know when I’m nervous and being watched I tend to mess up more, you know?

I dunno. It’s like the whole Jon and Kate thing. Like yeah they were having their issues, and maybe they would have split up even without being on the show. But how do you think their kids are going to feel when they google that and have proof that their Mom and Dad couldn’t stand each other? That their Daddy was caught out at a bar with a women? And yeah there’s the argument “well if they quit the show..” if they quit the show, the paparazzi would STILL be after them, because people would still be curious about them. And you have to wonder why, you know?

26 06 2009
gabberjazz

I totally understand what everyone is saying. My real mother died when I was 9 of a drug Overdose, I lived with her up till her death and let me say the childhood wasn’t the best. I have an older sister who also went through everything that I did she turned to crystal meth and lost her 3 children to social services. I believe you have a choice no matter what your childhood is or was. I work with all types of men who say oh I knew no better thats how I was raised. but I think its a load of BS as I had the same childhood as most of the men in there and I had the choice to better my life. I feel sorry for MJ children but now maybe they will have a better chance at a some what normal life. It is hard to lose a parent at a young age but some how I think losing my mother actually saved my life…

26 06 2009
gabberjazz

I was just reading back where is this blog Diary of J I need things to do

26 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Yes, Cloey…I totally get what you are saying. We don’t really ever know what it’s been like for someone else; we don’t have a right to really judge, with little or no accurate information. The media is an animal all its own…both a gift and a curse for some. Human nature is strange…we have the capacity for compassion, yet there’s always a demand for gossip, for inside knowledge of other peoples’ screwed-up lives. I don’t know.

26 06 2009
lara21167

Good morning all. Yes that freaked me out when I heard about Micheal. I was halfway dozing off and thought I was hearing things. Farrah wasn’t a surprise of course, I did enjoy all the news programs on her life last night. There was alot more to her than I ever realized. Anyhoo back to Michael. My opinion on him is just that he was an “odd duck” don’t know how else to put it. Not sure if he was really “troubled” I think he just had a different perspective of reality. And whether or not he actually molested those boys, idk, I don’t really think he did. He may have acted inappropriately with them, like sleeping in the same bed, but as far as a perverted molestation, I don’t really think so, as I said I think his reality was just different. What was normal and ok to him just wasn’t to the average person. Like him holding his baby over that balcony. I really think he just didn’t think about how high up he was. He got so excited about showing off his baby to his fans that he didn’t think about what he was doing, and because his intentions were good, he just didn’t think he did anything wrong. that was his mindset.

I’m sure we’ll never know the whole truth behind his death, but I do think it was from prescription drugs. The anxiety and depression pills and the way people mix them together they are dangerous. Hell I took Xannex for what 2 months and went off suddenly and had the worst anxiety attack I ever had. And it was withdraws, after that short of a time. And doctors just prescribe this stuff and other things like crazy. Look at that Anna Nicole Smith. And I think medications were behind Brittany’s weird behaviour. At least in her case her parents stepped in and took control

Janey loved the poem, now that what my personal preference is happy 🙂

Gabber Diary of J, look through the comments on Bedroom blog, she posts the link. It’s just about her life and all the drama. Not too bad really. If you like silly teenager issues lol. I find all that entertaining anyway.

26 06 2009
Clo

So, more bad news. Jeremy got a call from his Mom today and work, and ignored it. She called back right away, so he picked it up. She thinks she’s having a stroke. Now, Mary Anne’s a hypocondriact and at any given time has about 100 things wrong with her, but Jeremy seems to think something is up. He said she was slurring her words really bad, and throwing up (but he thinks that may have been due to stress and because she was freaking out.) He said she sounded coherent, just slurred, and she said she couldn’t get out of bed.

George came home and took her to the hospital, so we’re waiting on news. What we’re kinda hoping it is, is something called Bells Palsy. A co-workers of Jeremy had it awhile ago, it’s some sort of virus which for some reason makes your face pretty much go numb, and when it happens a lot of people think they’re having a stroke. However, with Jeremy’s Mom’s age and weight and over all health, it’s iffy.

26 06 2009
lara21167

I’ll send positive well wishes her way. When my hubby had his mini stroke, I was out getting us some lunch and poor Kristy was alone with him. He had been complaining of chest pains the night before, but he was pretty drunk and tends to have like a million things wrong with him when he’s drunk. So I ignored him. In the morning he seemed fine. I hadn’t been to the grocery and we were all hungry so I ran out to get subs. While I was gone he slumped over, was drooling and couldn’t speak coherently. Kristy freaked, he wouldn’t let her call 911 so she called her grandmother. I got home and the spell had passed but he couldn’t get up. So I spent the next 1/2 hour convincing him he needed to go to the hospital. He insisted on me parking and him walking in with us. When he was walking he kind of drug his left foot and said he didn’t have control over it. Well they never did find a cause for the stroke and he recovered fully. At first his speach slurred at times and he’d mix words up. But that’s pretty much cleared up. Now he’s back to all his old bad habits. Never learned a thing from it.

Let us know as soon as you know something Cloey.

26 06 2009
gabberjazz

whats the weather like there. My father had been working out in the sun for a long period of time, he came in and it seemed like he was having a stroke but they found out that it was severe heat stroke. It’s really scarry I will be thinking of your family Clo. Keep us up to date….

26 06 2009
Clo

Ha, my mother in law working out in the sun. That’s funny. I mean it’s been hot, like 90’s which is warm for here, but trust me, that women hasn’t been outside. We haven’t heard anything yet. Jeremy won’t call his Dad, saying that George will call when he hears something. I don’t know. My family is so different from theres, I would have already been at the hospital with my Mom, so it’s like really upsetting and nerve wracking for me to just have to sit here and wait. I mean, I don’t adore the woman, but I don’t want her to die or anything like that.

26 06 2009
lara21167

Waiting is the hardest thing. You could probably call the hospital. They won’t tell you much but they’ll at least let you know she stable or whatever.

26 06 2009
Clo

OK, Jeremy just called. They did a CAT scan or something (I always get CAT’s and MRIs and all those mixed up) but she didn’t have a stroke. At this point it could be a couple of different things, non of them fatal, all of them would fix themselves on their own. Jeremy said two of the things it could be is somehow fluid in her inner ear, which I don’t understand how that could cause her face to go numb, but whatever, or something about calcium build up. They’re keeping her overnight to kinda watch her, so. Yeah. Thanks y’all for the good thoughts and stuff.

26 06 2009
Clo

OK, I started a blog that I’m going to post the kids writing on. It’s a little rough mainly because I have NO idea how to do these fancy blog dealios, so it looks a little rough, but if you want to read what they wrote, go here: http://triplescamp.blogspot.com/

26 06 2009
lara21167

Glad your MIL is going to be ok. I’ll check out the blog later. Going to the laundry mat right now. Fun stuff on a Friday night right??

27 06 2009
Witchypoo33

Glad your mother-in-law seems to be doing ok, Cloey. We spent the evening at Jerry’s parents for a birthday dinner for Chance…then we went shopping. Tomorrow is movies and pizza/cake with Chance’s friends, after Heath’s martial arts class. Then we’ll probably go to Fry’s, (and electronic gadget/entertainment media store), to get some things for a computer Jerry is building. Not sure what else. What’s up with everyone this weekend? How was laundry duty, Lara?

Nightie-night, and take care.

27 06 2009
lara21167

Laundry duty went well. Then my hubby talked me into going over his friends to play some cards and it was 2 am before we got home and I slept until 11:30 this morning. And I am soooo not a night owl.

Then I found out yesterday that Kristy has to go to a Cheerleading stunt camp from 2 – 4 today and I have to be at Bingo at 5. So busy day ahead…

28 06 2009
janey

i went to the movies with stephon and my cousin and stephs bff Tavian.
we saw Transformers. the movie was so f-ing hottttttt.!!!!

28 06 2009
Clo

We went and saw My Sister’s Keeper on Friday. It was REALLY sad. It was also pretty much nothing like the book, but still pretty good, which you’ll rarely find me ever saying about a movie based on a book. The books are ALWAYS better, especially in the case of Memoirs of a Geisha. I loved the book SO much and was SO disappointed with the movie. I feel that a lot of people didn’t read the book because the movie sucked so bad. The only movie I’ve ever found to be better than the book, was the notebook. I thought the book was horrible. I went and got the Time Traveler’s Wife to read, they’re turning that into a movie, and I’m reserving Julie/Julia which they’re also making into a movie.
Yesterday we went to Comfest, a community festival we have down here. It’s pretty peace, love, hippie stuff. Live music, girls walk around topless with their chests painted. They sell lots of really cool stuff too. However, I think I’m just way too old, cuz the whole time I just kept going “it’s too hot, it’s too loud, there’s too many people.” It didn’t help that we had to park like a mile away. That sucked. We came home and watched Office Space, which is hilarious.

Today we ran errands, and we only needed to go to one store, which then turned into four stores, lol. I love it when that happens. But we finally bought a printer last night and realized today that while the printer came with ink, it didn’t come with paper. So we went to the dollar store, and Jeremy always thinks the dollar store has everything, but they didn’t have printer paper, so then we ran to target, then we decided we were going to cook out, and Jeremy wanted to get corn, so we ran to walmart, and since we were right there, I decided to run to half priced books to get the Time Travelers Wife. Now we’re home, hanging out for the rest of the time.

I think Jeremy’s Mom is mad at him, and I go back and forth on whether or not she has a reason. She called twice yesterday and both times he didn’t pick up. Once because he was helping our friends move, the other time because we were down at Comfest and it was loud. Then his Dad called, but Jeremy was driving, so he didn’t answer. He called back later, when we were at home, but they were all asleep. We talked to his Dad today, and he sounded kinda pissed, and said something along the lines that Mary Anne was down in the dumps because she wanted to talk to Jeremy.

I told Jeremy we should have gone and visited her. I mean she was in the hospital, and was scared. Like I said before, if it was my Mom, it didn’t matter the reason, I would have been there. But then on the other hand, I’m kinda like… They’re really not like that. I mean when Jeremy had his knee surgery? The visited once. My Mom came every day, dropping off food and stuff. When I was in the hospital after having Cayden? They came once. So it’s like, she was in over night, what do they expect? I don’t know.

My period is late again. I’m not thinking anything of it this time. I’ll test if it doesn’t come in a few days, but I’m kinda like whatever about it. I have a gyno appointment at the end of June, so I’ll ask about it then. They’ll probably say it’s my weight or cuz I just had a baby. It’s just weird, because despite my weight I’ve always been somewhat regular, and now it’s off. It’s like, super annoying to deal with.

Had the weirdest dream about my ex boyfriend last night. He was divorcing his wife and wanted me back. I was the last girl he dated before he got with his wife. We were actually supposed to get back together, and he met this girl he used to date in highschool (who later became his wife) and ended up marrying her. Which is fine, we wouldn’t have lasted anyway. He was WAY too much of a Mama’s boy for me, and I’d pick having Mary Anne as a mother in law any day over his Mom. It was just weird, because I was married to Jeremy still, but I don’t think I had Cayden. And he has two kids, and I somehow ended spending part of the night with him, but not WITH him, I was in my own bed. I decided to go home, and his Mom was watching the front door. Only it didn’t look like his Mom, she was the stereotypical like little Italian old lady? But I knew it was his Mom. Anyway, I got in the car and left. It was just weird.

How was everyone elses weekend?

29 06 2009
janey

you guys. ive got a problem.

seems my sister decided it was okay to tell my mom that
i had sex with stephon. she’s asked me about it and i konda just keep dodging her or changing the subject. i really dont want t lie to her about it but im really scared of how she is going to react and if she’ll tell my dad. and my step dad. and the worst about this is i cant beat my sister up cause then it will be obvious that its true. i really dont want to tell her the truth cause then she is going to like be on me 24/7. i already know when i want to go out the answer is going to be no. and she’ll check on me EVERY 5 minutes and have other people watching me. and besides. its going to be really awkward talking to my mom about that. its weird and embarrassing. its. i dunno. i just know that i REALLY dont want to do it but i know i at least owe her the truth.
what do you guys think i should do.?

29 06 2009
Clo

It’s my opinion that if you aren’t comfortable talking about sex, you shouldn’t be having it. I mean, it’s ALWAYS going to be awkward talking about sex with your mother (OK, Rowdizzle, I think it wouldn’t be with your Mom, you two seem to have that kinda relationship.) But, I mean, my mom and I are open with lots of stuff, but she used to be a nun. So she’s ALWAYS been weird about sex. I mean I have a child and I think my Mom still thinks I’m a virgin and Cayden’s the immaculate conception. But still, I mean, if you think you’re old enough and mature enough to have sex, then you should be able to talk about it. Being scared of people finding out is something you probably should have thought about before you had sex. The fact of the matter is, now she knows. I mean, you may think she only knows what your sister told her, but if she doubted it at all, she probably would have dismissed it right off the bat. And even if you lie and tell her no, she’s still going to have it in the back of her mind, and she’s still probably going to watch her. I mean again, if you think it’s weird and embarassing, my thoughts are you shouldn’t have been having sex. And really, the only thing to do now is ‘fess up and take the consequences, because that’s what happens when you have sex.

29 06 2009
janey

its not that i feel awkward talking about sex. in general or at all.
its just that its my MOM. and THAT is what makes it weird. i mean. i dunno.
i used to be able to talk to her about anything. and now i find myself talking to her less. like. i tell waht i think she needs to know and move on. if she knew half of the things ive done she would prolly kill me. i guess i should just tell her. but. if i know my mom nd im pretty sure i do. she’s gonna break us up. and as much as id like to think she doesnt have much control over me. if she REALLY wants me to not hang out/be with someone or do someting. she WILL see to it that it doesnt happen. i REALLY dont want her to break us up. we just got back together.

29 06 2009
Clo

I mean, again, I know it’s your Mom, but I just maintain that if you felt you were grown up enough to have sex, then you should be able to talk about it. With whomever. You can’t say, well I’m mature enough to do this, as long as my Mom doesn’t find out, because then what you’re really saying is, you know your mom wouldn’t approve, and you still need your mom’s approval. I lost my virginity at a super young age, and I didn’t want my Mom to find out, and that was because I wasn’t ready. And I mean obviously we’re two different people, and I can’t judge whether or not you’re ready, because I’m not you, though my overall belief is, it is too young, but whatever. But again, I think if you can have it, you should talk about it. And honestly, if you really wanted to be with Stephon, you’d be with him, no matter what. If something/someone breaks you up, then it probably wasn’t meant to be anyway. Most likely it’s not meant to be, because you guys are so young, and it’s so very very very rare that you find lasting love at that age, mainly because while you think you’re grown you will grow and change like 15 billion more times. And chances are at one of those growing times, you’ll probably grow apart. Now I’m rambling. My point is: You had sex. Tell your mother. What she does is what she’s going to do. Sex comes with many many many consequences, sometimes good consequences, sometimes bad, but when you make the choice to have sex, you make the choice that you’re willing to accept whatever happens. You made that choice. Now it’s just time to own up.

29 06 2009
lara21167

Janey, Janey, Janey. As a mother i would want my daughter to feel she can come to me about anything. Don’t think you know what your mother will or won’t do. Sit down and talk openly and maturely with her. It will be much easier and she will feel better if you are open honest and sound mature about the whole thing. Not like “oh it was nothing” or “all my friends are doing it” but that it was your desicion and you took precautions (which makes me ask you what you are using for birth control) and let her know you thought it through not just jumped into something. And don’t beat up your sister lol.

So my weekend was pretty good. they are starting Cheerleading practice July 14th which sucks. i think they could wait until august anyway.

29 06 2009
janey

so, i told my mom like you said.
she cried. she CRIED.! at first i thought it was a little funny.
but. then i started to feel bad. she sent me to my room cause she was too mad to talk to me. when she came in here she confiscated my cell phone and said i was grounded til i graduated high school.
my guess is that she will get over it and i will be out of the house within three weeks. if she doesnt get over it that quickly that means im going to have to get a job just so i can get ut of the house.
and she totally forbid me from seeing stephon again.
i told you. right now shes said she is thinking about calling y dad and telling him. which relly would be BAD.

29 06 2009
Clo

I mean Janey, again, all I have to say is if you’re old enough to have sex, you’re old enough to deal with the consequences. I mean, anyone and everyone can find out that you had it, so why is it such a shocker that your Mom did? And it wouldn’t matter if we were still together or not, if Cayden was having sex, I’d call and let Jeremy know too. All in all, it’s not horrible. It’s at least not the worst that could have happened.

Laura- Is that early for them to start Cheerleading? What’d you do this weekend?

29 06 2009
lara21167

Yes it is early Cloey, which is why I’m annoyed. Like to enjoy the summer ya know. I didn’t do much this weekend. Played cards Fri night, Cheerleading and Bingo (at least that’s the last one this summer) Sat night. Yesterday we went to my MIL for a bit and that’s about all.

Janey you did the right thing. Might not seem like it right now but you did. Your mom is just upset right now. Let her calm down then talk again.

29 06 2009
Clo

Have any of y’all heard from Rowdy? I got an email from her… Saturday I think, but nothing since, and I’m a little worried.

29 06 2009
janey

lara- i’ll try. but i know my mom. she wont calm down. she is the type of person that if you bring it up again she gets even madder. im just gonna stay clear of her for a few days.

29 06 2009
Clo

I think I may be in a bad mood today. I don’t really feel like I am, but little shit people are saying is making me want to go off, lol. It’s really dumb, but it’s irritating the crap out of me. I posted a thing on my facebook last night asking people for suggestions to cake makers, because I needed to get a cake made for Cayden’s birthday. I’ve already looked at grocery store bakeries, and none of them have what I want, so I’m hoping to find someone who can make me a cake and have it not be hella expensive. I had like 3 of my friends tell me I should bake a cake. And I just wanted to punch them, lol. I know it’s not a big deal, but it’s like, the thought to bake a cake did cross my mind. I can bake a cake, it’s not that hard. But I can’t decorate worth shit, and I don’t want to do it. I want to buy a cake, which is why I said I wanted to buy it.

And then I realized I think I’m in a bad mood, lol. I don’t really have a reason to be. Cayden slept well last night, and he went down for his nap OK. I just feel like I have a bunch of work, and no motivation to do it. This week at camp, I’m teaching poetry. And I’m worried. I mean the older girls will be a snap, because girls? Tend to love poetry, and write it all the time. The older boys I’m trying to get too with Tupac’s poetry and some clean meaningful rap stuff. But the younger kids? Will be tricky. Plus, I had longer class times last time because the pool was broken, so they’ll be shortening my class times this week. It’s a mess.

29 06 2009
janey

clo- i say you should take like an hour break and do something you would enjoy. sit and read, take a nap, eat something. it will make you feel better :]

29 06 2009
Clo

Ha, good idea, but I don’t really have the time. I have a short window of napitude that I get to get stuff done in. Once Cayden wakes up, I can do things, but only with split attention span. It’s ADD on crack.

29 06 2009
janey

haha.!
ADD on crack.!
tht was funny =]

29 06 2009
lara21167

I used to try to bake my son birthday cakes and decorate them and all. Where we lived our house had a addition that had been built on to the kitchen and wasn’t quite level with the rest of the kitchen. Well our stove sat like at this spot. Took me a long time to figure out why my cakes always came out lopsided. But that was why. Then I’d try to decorate them, and I’m no good at decorating cakes either even with the little kits I’d buy. So I’d wind up with a lopsided, crappy decorated cake, that did taste good 🙂 Our grocery stores have good cakes reasonably priced. And they do a great job. I also love icecream cake. But you wouldn’t want that for Cayden’s 1st birthday.

29 06 2009
Clo

Ha, Jeremy’s Mom and I almost got into it about ice cream cake for his birthday. Jeremy said he was going to get him an ice cream cake, and I said no. And his Mom butted her big ass in like “Daddy’ll get you an ice cream cake if he wants too.” To which I told her “No, Daddy will not, because Daddy doesn’t give the baths.”

Speaking of first birthdays, it’s crazy how close it’s getting. Cayden was 9 freaking months old yesterday. 9 months! That means pretty soon, he’ll have been outside my body longer than he’s been inside. He’s eating more and more solid food (he really likes chicken) feeding himself, he can pretty much drink by himself, he learned to drink from a straw the other day, he can sit up on his own, he’s dancing and “singing”. He’s just amazing. And so big! He was still 23 lbs when we went in for his ear infection, but he looks skinnier and taller, so I’m really wondering what his height will be. He’s in 18! month clothing now, although some of the pants are still too long for him (he’s got the opposite problem I do, I have long legs and a short torso, he’s got a long torso and short legs.) I really wish y’all could come to his party, lol. Is that weird? I feel like y’all are some distant, crazy, kookie aunties, lol. You know the kind that blow into town every once in awhile, but you always look forward to their visits because they bring you loads of candy, and when your mom is around them she lets you do things like stay up later than normally?

Maybe there’s some way I can at least show you all his invitation, because if I can do it the way I want too, I think it’s going to be really cute. We’ve FINALLY decided on a cowboy theme, and what I want to do is take his face and put it on like Clint Eastwood’s body, from a cowboy movie he was in… And the invitation will say: Go Ahead, Make His Birthday. Am I a huge dork or what?

If anyone knows how to do that (put Cayden’s head on another persons body) let me know. Witchy I know Jerry messes with computer stuff, so I don’t know if he could do that or not, but I think it’d be really cool if I could figure out how.

My other question is, I’ve never really had a party or anything like that. How far in advance should I send out his birthday invites? Like a month? Or like a month and a half so people have time to RSVP? I’m confused.

Alright, I realized it’s been awhile since I’ve taken new pics of him, so that’s what I’m gonna go do.

29 06 2009
janey

um. i send mine about three weeks before the party. cause you dont want them to be a lot of time before the party or too close to it. and yea its pretty crazy tht he’s going to b one already.! derek turns four in august and hes starting school and. its just crazy. i still remember changing his diapers.!

soooo. my mom got my grades and decided they were all good and went out and bought me a new ipod. in purple.! while im extremely excited since i lost mine, a simple “omg i cant believe youre going to b junior and im so proud” would have done it. she gave me my cell phone back cause of my grades. but. im still grounded. which sucks. its summer time and just cause we have a pool it doesnt men im going to be having fun in it for 2 months. i wanna go to the movies, parties, park, and just hang out. =[

30 06 2009
Clo

See, 3 weeks doesn’t seem to be enough time for people to get them and then have enough time to rsvp, with enough time for us to figure out how much stuff we need to buy. I dunno. Party planning is complicated.

30 06 2009
lara21167

I’d say 3 weeks, maybe do 4 to make you feel like they have time. 1 year old birthdays are fun for adults and kids alike. Yes it’s amazing how fast they grow and learn to do things for themselves. It’s a good and bad feeling for “mom”. On one hand you love to see your baby grow and become independent and on the other you want to take care of your baby forever. Which you do anyway lol. Yes Cloey I wish we could all come to his party too. Funny how we’ve never met face to face but I feel we know each other.

Janey, maybe your mother will let you off your grounding soon. I’m sure she’s not going to keep you grounded until your 18 🙂

30 06 2009
Clo

So. My Uncle died. And it’s really a tricky situation to be in, because he’s my Dad’s brother, and I don’t deal with my Dad’s family anymore. Most of my cousins are either way older than me, or total white trash drug addicts, in and out of jail all the time, and my Aunt and Uncles… I don’t know. It’s like after my Grandma died they just up and stopped inviting us to cookouts and stuff. And I missed them. My Mom didn’t talk about my Dad, because some of her memories of my father weren’t so great, and she didn’t want to like, go on and on about how horrible he was in front of us. So it’s kinda like they were the last link to my Dad, and they took it away from me. I mean, I guess I could have been responsible and called them, but I was in the 5th grade. Who does that?
So later on, we “reconnected” at my cousins Lisa’s wedding. And this is how we got introduced “Oh this is Sue (my Mom.) She’s a friend of Lisa’s. And these are her kids.” Lisa was my Dad’s niece, I wasn’t just a daughter of a friend, I was a cousin. And it’s not like the cousin who introduced us didn’t know that. I don’t know why she said what she said, but she said it and I was done. I left the wedding and I didn’t look back, and I haven’t spoken to any of them since.

However, I always meant to write to my Uncle and ask him about my Dad. Ask if there were any pictures, anything I could have. And I always thought he’d be the most responsive. Now there’s only one uncle and one aunt left, and I don’t know. And I don’t know if I want to go to the funeral. I don’t know if I want to see everyone. I just. Don’t know.

30 06 2009
Clo

Oh, and I just found out my cousin (on the family I like and talk too, she’s like my best friend.) probably has the swine flu. She tested positive for the flu, and was around a bunch of people who tested positive for swine flu, and she’s waiting on her results. And I mean, I know it’s no big deal, and it really only kills people who are unhealthy, but. With this being like, death month apparently, I’m kinda spooked.

30 06 2009
lara21167

Well I wouldn’t worry about the cousin with swine flu just yet. The uncle, if you don’t want to go to the funeral, just send flowers, or go to just the viewing. Don’t feel obligated, especially if they more or less wrote you off.

30 06 2009
Clo

It’s just that my Mom wants to go, and I can’t let her go alone, because my step-dad will most likely be there.

OK, this is a story I don’t tell to many people, one because it’s like private and really… I don’t know, embarassing, and like. I don’t know. But you kinda need to know it to understand beef with my step dad fully.

My step dad is also technically some sort of like distant cousin. On my Dad’s side. That means my mom has no relation to him, so it’s not some sort of back woods thing, but sometimes sounds like it. After my Dad died, my Mom and my Grandma stayed pretty close, and she met my Step Dad at some of the family cook outs and stuff and they eventually got married. So, now when I go to family functions (which, it’s rare that I do) he’s sometimes there. He’s my grandma’s sister’s son, so he was my Dad’s cousin? I don’t know. Anyway, my step dad? I hate him. Like, Hitler hated the Jews? That’s how deep my hatred for him runs. And I know, I KNOW hate isn’t a word to be taken lightly, and in this instance, I swear it’s like a deep, black, consuming hate. It’s gotten better over the years, because I know that by hating him so much, I’m only sinking down to his level, and I plan on one day forgiving him for everything he’s done, but it’s a slow process and it’s going to take time. My step dad is just… I want to say a jerk, but that doesn’t even begin to explain it. When he and my Mom got married, we moved to Toledo (Ohio) because he had a good job. While there, the police showed up one night, because a girl (she was like an older teen, maybe under 18, maybe a little over it, somewhere around the legal age) accused him of like grabbing her chest and her butt and all this stuff. She baby sat for our neighbors who were good friends of ours. Well, nobody believed her because this girl was kinda a freak, and just had been known to lie and stuff. Well, then my Grandma (my Dad’s mom) got sick (Colon Cancer), and my Mom wanted to be closer to her to help her (my grandma helped my Mom out a TON with us, something my Mom’s Mom never did.) and so we moved back to Columbus. Well, my Step Dad just turned into a bigger freak in Columbus, which makes me think that the girl in Toledo wasn’t lying. He’d call my sister’s friend all the time and say disgusting things to her (he claimed she was calling him, but my sister saw her friends caller ID, with our number on it, at times when she and I were both at school.) He’d say sick ass things to us (telling us that it was totally normal if our boobs were two different sizes, and if we wanted him to check us out to make sure we were OK, he would. He told us if we ever came across porn sites online, he heard that they now did this thing where they kept popping up pop up windows, and he wanted to see it, told us how this lady he worked with masturbated with a hot dog, and it broke off inside of her, how he once got so drunk he had sex with a toilet. Asked my sister if she wanted to know if he cheated on my Mom. He’d tell me how my Mom wouldn’t have sex with him and said when I got married it was my duty to please my husband, even if I just brought a washcloth to bed and jerked him off.He would hit on my cousin all the time, tell her she had sexy legs and stuff, when she was only like 14. She stopped spending the night at our house cause she’d wake up and he’d be on top of her, and when he realized she was awake he’d get up really quick. I used to wake up at night all the time and he’d be watching me. I mean, there’s worse stuff, I could go on and on. Like my friends stopped coming over because he used to masturbate in front of them.) I mean, I know the obvious answer is why didn’t you tell. My Mom was a really bad alcoholic at the time, probably because she was so unhappy being with him. And the thing is, she found out once, that he was doing things to my sister. And she didn’t kick him out, she just made him go to counseling, which he went like once and stopped. He cried and apologized and said he was sorry, but things still kept up and my sister like, moved out. I suspect he did things to his own daughters, because they were always weird around him, and shortly after my Mom finally did kick him out (a few days before my 17th birthday, best present ever.) His daughter quit talking to him. She claimed it was because he was so far away and it hurt her to talk to him and not see him, but IDK. That’s such a weird reason, you know?

Anyway, point is, at that same wedding, my Step Dad was there. Obviously, because he’s related to my Dad’s side of the family. He tried to come up and talk to us, and I was the reason he went away. Apparently I shot him a really nasty look, my Mom said she actually felt bad for him the way I looked at him. I don’t know, all I know is I promised my Mom before I wouldn’t make a scene at my cousins wedding.

I don’t trust my Step Dad around my Mom. He’s mental. Shortly after the wedding, he sent her a letter, directed at me, saying: There are two types of people in this world. Those who forgive and will be forgiven, and those who don’t and won’t. Some sort of God threat I suppose, but he’s never asked for forgiveness, nor admitted he did anything wrong. And I do believe in his sick little mind he thinks he did nothing wrong. So while I don’t want to go, I know my Mom will. So it’s like… I feel like I have too. And I’m really disgusted because I’ll most likely have to bring Cayden, since Jeremy works, and I just. Don’t want him to even look at my son. And if he touches him? I’ll kill him.

30 06 2009
lara21167

Cloey, yea that’s just horrible. I can see why you’d want to go if your mom goes. Makes for a hard situation. Well if a “get the f*** back” look worked before hopefully it’ll work again. One day you may want to confront him and tell him exactly what you think of him. But this isn’t the time.

I don’t know what else to say except that I feel “honored” (is that the word I want) that you feel comfortable enough with us to share that.

30 06 2009
janey

i say that if you truly feel that its you place to go because of youre mom then you should go. but. that wont be the place to confront your step dad. just try to keep a look out when youre there make sure you, cayden nd your mom are as far away from him as possible. maybe you should take like 20 minutes before you leave or start to get ready and just write about how angry or how sad or however it is that you feel about going there. and write about it how it went and how it made ou feel after you get back. that way you will let out most of your anger and frustration and you wont necessarily direct it at someone you will regret doing so later on. i dunno its what i would do. its what i usually do when something bothers me. and then i burn it. and watching it burn help cause ts like you finally let it out but you didnt hurt anyones feelings that werent supposed to get hurt.

and yes. than you for sharing with us that private part of your life. =]

30 06 2009
Clo

Right after he left I used to be super scared that I wouldn’t be able to control myself around him, and just thinking about him made me shake, like physically shake. I used to have dreams where I’d see him on the street and just black out and when I came too, I’d be getting arrested or something. I also had dreams that my Mom would die and he’d show up and my sister and brother would be yelling at me because I was trying to kill him. Now it’s better. Like I said before, I know hating him so much brings me down to his level, and I read this quote once, and I don’t remember exactly how it went, but it was basically like, hating someone ties you to the person you hate. And I don’t want to be tied with him. So little by little, it’s eased up. And for awhile I had a hard time with it, because I hated forgiving him, because it seemed like I was letting him off the hook or something. But, then I realized, I’m not doing it for him, I’m doing it for me, and that made it a little better. I know after seeing him at the wedding that I can control myself. I know I won’t make a scene, and I know definately that a funeral/wake is not the time or place for it. And in fact, I don’t know if I’ll ever tell him/go off on him like he deserves. I really think he’s mental, like I think he has mental problems and honestly believes that everyone is just out to get him or something, and that he never does anything wrong. I remember when my Mom and him were dating, we went to a grocery store, and he dropped her off out front. Well, he started driving away, because he was going to circle around and pick her back up. But we didn’t know that, we thought he was leaving, and we asked him if he was. And he said totally serious “Yeah, I’m dropping your Mom off and taking you guys away.” and like actually went out onto the street and stuff. We started to freak. I mean keep in mind that my Dad had just died like 2 years prior, and so we were still going to counseling for some major abandoment issues. He’s just, a crazy jerk, and I don’t think he’ll ever get what he did.

And he’s also a total God freak, and hides behind that all the time. Like he totally hates gay people, but apparently thinks it’s perfectly OK to be a pedophile and a rapist. I don’t know. There’s just no point in trying to confront him.

I just worry though about adding Cayden into the mix. Because any other normal sane person who know to stay away. But like I said, I really believe he’s insane. I mean at the wedding he came up all smiles and tried to shake my hand. And then my brother was nice to him (I think it’s impossible for my brother to be mean to anyone he’s not close with.) and Bob (my stepdad) offered to teach him how to drive and all this stuff. Like wtf dude?

30 06 2009
lara21167

It’s hard knowing someone has a total mental problem and doesn’t even realize what they are doing is wrong. Idk, Janey’s idea is a good one about writing your feelings down and burning it afterward. It’ll help you to let go of the hate. I read “Fearless Living” by Rhonda (and I completely forget her last name) but she was a life coach for some show, can’t remember now. And she does seminars and stuff. Well when she was 14 her parents were divorced, but they still all went out to dinner on father’s day with him, including their mother. Well he wound up shooting Rhonda’s mother in front of her, then walking over to Rhonda and pointing the gun at her before he turned it on himself and literally blew his brains out all over her. In her book she told how she wrote him a letter letting out all her feelings and eventually actually forgiving him. Which I don’t know if I’d ever be able to reach that point. And Cloey it might take more than one letter to fully forgive. And forgiving is just for you and your peace of mind. Doesn’t mean you condone what he did or that you’ll ever even be friendly toward him. It’s just letting go of the hate.

30 06 2009
janey

im bored 😦

30 06 2009
lara21167

Poor Janey, hopefully your mother will give in soon. 🙂

1 07 2009
janey

i hope so and soon still means ive got another three weeks indoors.
do you guys know what i did last night and all day today.?
last night i stayed up til 2 30 am reading and finishing Imitation in Death. today i woke up at 12. i started reading The 8th Confession at 1 and by 4 i was already on chapter 27. the book is 112 chapters long. even tho i admit i absolutely LOVE it, reading can b boring when its the ONLY thing i can do besides listen to music because id rather read than watch tv any day.

1 07 2009
lara21167

Are you allowed out in your pool or anything? I would hate to be stuck inside all the time. I’d get sick. I need sunshine!!

1 07 2009
janey

yea, im allowed in the pool but its gonna rain all this week and we had a massive thunder and lightning storm yesterday. i think. im gonna get a job.

1 07 2009
lara21167

That’d be a good idea. Still hard finding a job right now. But I’m sure you can find something. Babysitting is always good too and that’ll get you out.

1 07 2009
janey

i just spent three hours looking and found three places that were hiring.
opefully ill get one of the three. ive got to fill out these applications. and then taco bell has an online application and they are hiring nights and weekends.
im tired. and HOT. im going in the pool. dnt care if it rains

1 07 2009
lara21167

You’ll be wet anyway lol. Goodluck with the jobs.

1 07 2009
janey

its raining =[
wheres witchy and gabber and clo and rowdy.?

1 07 2009
lara21167

I don’t know Janey I’ve been wondering myself. I know Rowdy and Gabber get caught up in life and go for a bit without checking in. But Cloey and Witchy ususally do. And we haven’t heard from Witchy for a while. Not even on Bedroom Blog, and Witchy they did like 3 posts in a row!! (one a day I mean)

1 07 2009
gabberjazz

Sorry guys I was in the hospital Nevaeh decided to join the world a bit early…. things are great she is just 4 weeks early, she got to come home today. She was born June 26 at 1 am weighing 3lbs6oz. she hit 4lbs so she got to come home.
It was real quick took me about 45 mins start to finsh. The girls love her and Rob is happy as can be, he booked a month off to be with us so it looks good. baby’s dad came and saw her I think he loves her but is willing to let Rob play dad. so how is everyone else doing?

1 07 2009
Clo

It is weird that Witchy’s gone for so long. I hope everythings OK, but sometimes she gets caught up in life too, especially with the boys playing all their sports. Plus it was… Chance’s birthday I think?

Rowdy emailed me either yesterday or the day before, I forget which, and told me it was a busy week for her. So I’m not sure when we’ll be hearing from her.

Congrats Gabber! I want a baby 🙂 I think we may try again soon. We have our health insurance back so Yay for that one. It’s really nice, we pay nothing for preventative stuff, so all Cayden’s well baby checks are free, no co-pay, and my gyno and stuff will be too.

I was at camp today, which I will be every wednesdays. Today we did poetry and it went about how I expected, which wasn’t so good. I’ll be posting them on the camp blog later, so if you guys want to check them out… Some were good, really good. Most were… Interesting. I meant to check in last night but we did a lot of running around. I got a new laptop, which I’m uber excited about, and it made things at camp a LOT easier, because now I can type most of their stories and things while I’m there, which means I come home with a lot less work. Tomorrow is my Uncle’s viewing, Cayden’s 9 month checkup, and this guy is coming to check out our a/c. Friday is my Uncle’s funeral, and then I’ll probably be hanging at my Mom’s most or all of the day because we have a friend coming into town. Then I’m leaving Cayden with her and going out with Jeremy, we were going to go to the drive in, but they’re playing a movie we already saw, so I’m not sure. Saturday is the 4th and we may do either fireworks or go down to camp to swim, we’ll see what the weather is like. So I don’t know how much I’ll be around this weekend, it may be more since I got the laptop and can take it upstairs with me, but we’ll see how tired I get. Plus I’m in the middle of reading The Time Traveler’s Wife and I’d like to get it finished.

Janey, I know punishment sucks but if it wasn’t, then it wouldn’t be punishment. I actually like swimming in the rain, it’s kinda fun. I was going to stay at camp and swim with Cayden today, but I brought a friend with me, and it was rainy (which made it cold. Which is OK for me, but Cayden HATES the cold) so we went home. Next week I may stay and swim with him, if the weather is better.

Good luck on the job hunt, Janey.

Laura how’s it going for you?

What’s everyone else up too this weekend?

1 07 2009
janey

Gabber- OMG.!
i bet she’s cute as a button.!
i LOVE kids =]
and its pretty cool tha your boifriend id willing
to be there for her even tho he isnt her dad.

clo-i went swimming in the rain yesterday after it stopped lightning and thundering. and yes punishment suck which is why i am currently lookin for a job. although its nice to have as much time as i want to read and i have a lot more time to write as well. while im in school i usually just hide and read cause if i have enough spare time to read a book in three days while schools in, that means homework isnt getting done, or im reading in class=]
so, i dnt have to hide to read in the summer which is awesome.

yea. i was wondering about witchy.
and i read the post on the bedroom blog.
i want brandon and k to work things out.

2 07 2009
Clo

OK, I’m done typing all the kids poems and adding them to their blog. The addy again is: http://triplescamp.blogspot.com/. Check it out. Some of their poems are super cute, some of them I think they stole from rap songs, lol.

2 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Hi Ladies…sorry I’ve been MIA lately. Things get a bit too hectic at times for me to sit down and formulate coherent answers/thoughts sometimes. I did read everything…sometimes belated – but it got read. I’ll talk some more tomorrow, after I drop Beau off at weight-lifting/speed and agility training in the morning. Cloey, I can’t believe all that you went through with that sick guy who used to be your stepdad. Fuck. It’s unbelievable the crap innocent, helpless children are forced to endure, just because they don’t have the power to change their personal situations until they’re old enough to control their own lives. It sounds like you deal pretty well with it, though. I was surprised that you shared something so personal with us; like Lara, I appreciate the magnitude of your honesty and trust. It takes me a LONG time to open up about anything really personal affecting me specifically, as an individual. You may not think so, but I’ve told you all more than I normally would most people. I’m not sure why…other than I do feel some sort of connection with you Ladies.

More tomorrow…nightie-night, and take care.

2 07 2009
lara21167

Congratulations Gabber!! Glad everything is well. Always scary with baby coming early, but sounds like she’s a good weight. Also glad you found a guy who sounds wonderful.

I’m bummed because we’re not getting a day off for the 4th. Since it’s on a Saturday we’ll get an extra day pay for the holiday but not a day off. Yes I can really use that extra day pay, but I’d rather have the day off lol. Anyway Saturday my hubby has planned out (don’t know if that’s a good thing, he tends to be bossy when he plans something, and I’m rather stubbern about doing things my way) Anyway he wants to go to the park all day (the one he likes has a creek that runs through it and he can fish and we’ll cook something on the grills they have, but it’s a no pet park, so Ginger can;t come 😦 then we’ll go to see fireworks at another park, they put on a great show, we go every year.

2 07 2009
Clo

Aww Witchy, I missed you.

I mean, the whole step dad thing is personal, but… I don’t know. It’s easier, I think, to disclose some things online. I mean I haven’t delved into the whole story about my step dad with Jeremy. He knows bits and pieces, he knows I can’t stand him, and I’m sure he knows why, it’s just that. It’s harder when you tell someone you have to face every day. You wonder if it’s going to change their opinion of you, if you look dirty or tainted or anything like that in their mind… And I mean I always wonder what people are thinking and not asking, you know? Like why didn’t we tell? I mean, when you’re really young, they make it super easy. It’s good touch bad touch, and if someone doesn’t believe you, you keep telling until someone does. But, when you get older, things get way more complicated. It’s like, my Mom was drunk most of the time she was home, she was already so unhappy and on edge all the time. My sister had pretty much left, my brother locked himself in his room most of the time (my stepdad was so mean to him. Really, really, REALLY mean.) We had told once and nothing happened, really. I was afraid if I told the school that they’d make us leave my Mom or something. That she’d lose her nursing license and us, and everything. So it was just way easier to keep my mouth shut. Like, it sucked, but at least he didn’t really do anything to me, ya know?

But yeah. Some things I think are easier to say online.

Aww Laura, your day sounds fun. I don’t know what we’re going to do. I thought maybe camp, but right now I’m so freaking tired and the rest this week is kinda busy. So, I dunno. We’ll see.

2 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Oh! I meant to say a big, “Congratulations!” to you, Gabber! That’s so great about your baby girl. You had her the day after my guy’s, (Chancey’s), birthday. This is a nice time of year to have a baby…not TOO hot yet, but the weather is usually sunny and comfortable. How is your little baby girl settling in? Your boyfriend sounds like a really nice guy; I’ll bet you’re happy he’s so receptive with your children. Enjoy.

Take care.

2 07 2009
Witchypoo33

I get what you mean about it being easier to say certain things online, Cloey. It sounds like you were put in a really impossible situation…trying to protect your mom as best you could, while navigating the treacherous waters of living in a household consisting of an abusive alcoholic, and another, miserable one. Kids get put in some really no-win situations, sometimes.

2 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Oh, yeah, and I miss you, too, during the times when things are busier than usual and I wander off into Internet Land.

2 07 2009
janey

witchy.! youre back.! yay.!

its raining again =[
i cant straighten my hair.
that was supposed to b the exciting thing of the day.
guess im gonna read some more.

2 07 2009
lara21167

Janey I feel for you, I do. I may get tomorrow off after all. They canceled the crews to work at Ft Detrick (an army base in Frederick, Md) after we went through all this trouble to get them approved to work, the base is officially closed for the holiday. So if the guys aren’t working (there’s really nothing else for them to do right now) maybe, just maybe the office will close to. Hopefully, so I can get the laundry done tomorrow and the grocery shopping without being up all night. lol.

2 07 2009
lara21167

Yay!! off tomorrow!! Get to sleep in and get chores done. so I have Sat free!!!!

2 07 2009
gabberjazz

my little girl is the best lol she sleeps 3 hours at a time and I haven’t really heard her cry yet. really easy to burp too. Yes Rob is the best, he switches off with me at night so i get to sleep a full 6 hours. I don’t know what I would do if he wasn’t here.It’s kinda funny she looks more like Rob than her dad and her dad was the one to point that out. I am thinking the dad will only be there to donate money and thats about it which is ok with me I am sure Rob likes that idea too then he can really be a daddy. It’s sweet to see him holding Jasmine my 4 year old is his lap while she is trying to feed Nevaeh. Gabrielle spends her time with Rob outside playing in the back yard so he knows how to spread the time equally. I am so happy I finally found a good man…

Hope everything is well for everyone…

2 07 2009
monkeyspeaks

Hey guys. Im here. I figured a few of you were going to notice my comments on the bedroom blog so i figured i’d clarify here.

a) we haven’t broken up
b) there may be a “yet” there
c) for once im not the one being dumped.

its a tough situation. i love my guy. i know he loves me. but we come from opposite cultural corners. he’s middle eastern, im jewish.

Yes, there is coexistence and i’ve never been one to believe that you can’t create an amazing life with someone from a different cultural background. I dont think i’ll ever stop believing that.

But a deal breaker came up. he doesn’t see himself ever being able to fully participate in what it means to be my family. He’s adamently against organized religion, but part of being my family means partaking in some religious activities. Whether its weddings, funerals, or just getting together for a holiday.

Im not religious. But the older I get, the more i recognize that it IS part of my history and part of my culture. No matter how much I dont want it to be, it is. And my top priority always is and always will be my family. So for me to spend my life with someone means I need to count on them, without a semblence of doubt, that they would be able to incorporate themselves into that. that they would be able to be a part of my family 100%, that means passover dinners, that means weddings with a rabbi officiating, that means allowing me to give a son a bris should i want to. There are things I will want to do in the future, if not for myself but for my family. To me thats non-negotiable. That is something that cannot and will not ever change about me. It is the core of who i am, my family.

i dont know where alex is. i mean on the issue. it came up for the first time, i mean REALLY came up, last night. Last night he said it was something he would absolutely not be able to do. i can’t ask him to either. if he has certain beliefs, then that is who HE is and I can only respect him for his honesty. I wont lie and say I didnt put an ultimatum on the table. I didnt give it a time period. But its there. Either you are a part of who I am and what that entails 100% or you aren’t at all. Its all or nothing when it comes to THIS particular issue. It’s one I refuse to compromise on. No, I will not stay at a hotel for thanksgiving. We will stay at my parents, in separate bedrooms if that is what they want. If you really want to be with me, you’ll be willing to give that.

my mom doesn’t think this will change. she likes him. a lot. probably more than he realizes. but she wants me to be happy. she was thrilled to find out i wasn’t willing to compromise who i am and my family to be with someone though. she said this is something about him that i may never be able to change. i shouldn’t expect it. that its good im learning this now, before its too late.

alex asked why i was so sad today. i mean we’ve lightly touched, he KNOWS whats up, but. I told him because I didn’t know what was going to happen with us anymore. i asked if that made him sad. he said no, optimistic. i asked about things that can’t be worked on. he said everything can be worked on (almost). i dont know if he is just trying to avoid this. i know he does NOT want to break up. funny enough this is the first time i think i’ve really trusted that. im a “when is the shoe gonna drop” kind of person. im not saying its the healthiest mentality, but its something im working on. and today it isn’t whether or not he will or wont stay with me. its whether I can or cant. And the funny thing is, I wish he would be able to just say “yes, whatever it takes to make you happy, i will do. whatever it takes to maket his relationship work, for us to be together, i will do, and you dont have to question that anymore” or “i can’t ever be that person, we should go our separate ways.” isn’t it funny. i’d rather him break up with me than me break up with him and normally being dumped or rejected is one of my biggest fears.

not because i want to be able to get mad. but because then i dont have to make the decision, and i dont have to be the one to say what may (or may not) be inevitable. that it just wont work in the long run.

i still want it to. but right now im scared what i want and what i need may be two different things.

3 07 2009
Clo

Well Rowdizzle, I don’t really know what to say. I don’t think that you’re asking too much, however I realize that that is because I’m me, and participating in other cultures/religions actually really interests and excites me. Can I be your boyfriend? I’ve seriously always wanted to go to a passover dinner.

I mean, things can be worked on, and I do think people can change. And he still might. He’s just gotta decide that it’s worth it. And if he decides that it’s not worth it, who needs him anyway, you know?

I wish I could give better advice. We went to an early viewing today, and it kinda knocked the wind outta my sails. It didn’t help that Cayden had a bad night so I didn’t get much sleep, plus we had been planning on going to a later viewing, but my Mom played switch a roo on me real quick, so I felt like i had to scramble and I wasn’t fully prepared. It’s just weird, hard, and draining, to walk into a room full of family and have them look at you like they don’t even know who you are. And that’s what happened for the most part. It was a shocker though, because my cousin Heather (my uncle’s daughter) was just SO happy to see me. And she just cried and hugged me and hugged me, and kept calling me baby (Our family seems to grow in spurts, and a lot of my cousins are older, some around my Mom’s age, some a little bit older. So to Heather, the last time she saw me, I was a baby. And Heather and a few of the other cousins took care of me.) And then I ended up crying, which I didn’t think I’d do at all. But it was hard to see my Uncle in the casket. A lot harder than I thought. And I just kept waiting for someone to come up and call me “Little Laura Jane” which is what he always called me, and nobodys left that remembers that. I dunno. When I was younger, I was always closer to my Uncle Tim than my Uncle Steve, and we were A LOT closer to my Dad’s family all together. My sister was close to my Grandma and Aunt Beth, my brother was close to my Uncle Steve, and me and my Uncle Tim. And now I dunno. I just feel really really… Weird. It’s even weirder because I ALWAYS meant to ask my Uncle Tim for stories and pictures. And we were standing by this board that had all these pictures of him up on it with various family members (and I saw my Dad when he was super young, which was interesting.) And my cousin Lisa was there and she says “Oh, Mom and I put together a box of pictures for you guys. We’ll bring it tomorrow.” And then she gave us this picture she had brought of my Dad when he was really young, and said she’d bring the box tomorrow.

And it’s just so spooky. I mean to me at least. Because you guys don’t know how many letters I’ve started to write, how many letters I’ve written, not sending for some reason or other, asking my Uncle Tim for pictures. And I mean, I’m sure Mary (my Uncle Tim’s 2nd wife) and all them were going through pictures and decided to give some away. But to me, it’s just so weird, it’s like, he got up there, and he found out what I wanted, and he decided to give it to me.

It’s also really hard because they told me how he died, and it just made me really sad. For some reason I was under the impression that he was out of it. He was on life support and they decided to pull the plug, and I just assumed that meant that while he had brain function, he wasn’t there anymore . Well, that wasn’t true. My Uncle’s been sickly for awhile. And it never really hit anyone, because he didn’t look sickly. He was this HUGE guy, he was in the Navy and a Seabee. Anyway, I’m not sure what exactly was wrong with him, I just know that he was occasionally landing in the hospital. Well, I guess my Aunt was saying that they had him in rehab (and I know she didn’t mean like alcohol or drug rehab, but some kind of like health rehab) and problems just kept popping up left and right. So then Mom told me he was in organ failure and they were doing dialysis (sp?) and all that, and he ended up getting a major infection, and they just couldn’t control it. So they put him on a vent, which he didn’t want, and my cousin David said he was mad at them for that. So then the doctor came back and told them that if they kept him on the vent much longer, he’d never be able to go off of it, he’d need a trach, have to have a feeding tube for the rest of his life, would never be able to walk again. And I guess the whole time my Uncle was just looking at them, shaking his head and mouthing “Please, I love you, please, no.”

So they let him go.

Which was the thing to do. But it’s still very sad.

3 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Oh, Goldie and Cloey…such serious subjects this evening. Goldie…all I can say is, if he REALLY loves you and can’t stand the thought of losing you, he’ll find a way to do what you need him to…and happily, at that. I don’t think it’s too much to ask, anyway. Wouldn’t YOU participate in family/religious traditions/holidays for his family in the name of doing what HE needs? I’ll bet you’d be happy to be that generous and loving, because you seem like a very generous, warm and loving woman. Does he understand the magnitude of what you’re telling him…that you won’t be compromising on this issue? If he’s truly crazy about you, I just don’t see how he’d have a problem doing what you need him to do.

Cloey…Sweetie, I know you must feel strange, and lonely, and a little isolated right now. At least, that’s how I feel when major things with my family comes up. It’s especially hard when you don’t want to make things more difficult for your loved ones, who are ALSO in a grieving process; knowing what to say and not to say is dicey, sometimes…and so can be showing certain emotions in certain settings. It’s really nice that you’re going to be getting those pictures you’ve been yearning for…I remember you mentioning that wish several times before. Yes, it does seem like your uncle read your heart’s desire and wanted to make “Little Laura-Jane” happy with some pictures you richly deserve…and should have had all along. I don’t know what to say to make you feel any more “centered” and peaceful, with all the highly emotional things taking place for you right now. Just try to take care of yourself, Sweetie…try to get more rest, and unburden your emotions the best you can – so they don’t wind up weighing you down at some point.

More tomorrow, Girls. Nightie-night, and take care.

3 07 2009
Clo

I go back and forth between being fine and being really really sad. It was hard because I didn’t expect to cry, nor did I want too. My other Uncle (Uncle Bob, there’s going to be a lot of family members thrown at you in this story, so hopefully you can keep them straight, this Uncle was my Mom’s sister’s husband. He’s my cousins Stephanie’s Dad, and Steph and I are super close.) was like a father to me. Like I said, his daughter and I are super close, and we pretty much spent every weekend together. When I went to his house, I wasn’t treated like a guest, but like I lived there, with my own set of rules and everything. Anyway, he was an alcoholic (you’ll see this theme running in both sides of my family. I have two Uncle Mikes, ones my Mom’s brother, one’s my Step dad’s brother. Both are alcoholics. Mike my step dad’s brother was at the wake today, and he was SUPER drunk, which he always is. He’s still a really nice guy, he just had a rough life, he’s a vietnam vet and went over like 3 or 4 times, so you can imagine, anyway I digress.) Back to my Uncle Bob. He was a REALLY bad alcoholic, and eventually he went on to kill himself. Anyway, he wasn’t related by blood, and technically wasn’t related at all anymore since my Aunt divorced him. But he wasn’t close with his sister at all, and never saw her (Lyn) or her daughter (Shannon). They came up for the funeral, and they both acted so freaking fake. Shannon would cry, but ONLY when Steph’s step brother was around (who she thought was cute, and wanted attention from.) Anyway, my point is… I was really angry with her, because I felt like she was taking away from my grief, if that makes sense. It just made me so mad that she waltzes in, barely knows my Uncle, and then turns it into this big race for attention. And I didn’t want it to seem like that today. I mean I doubt my family thought it was, but it was just in the back of my mind, you know?

A lot of people think because I went through the death of my Dad, that I know what to say and have all this experience with it. It honestly makes me SUPER uncomfortable. Because all I know from experience is what I HATED when people said. “They’re in a better place now.” Really? It’s better that my Dad’s not with me? Or “God wanted him home.” Tell God he sucks for taking a 5 year olds Daddy away from her. All I ever want to say to people is “Wow. That sucks.” Because while it’s not nearly fitting enough, it’s the most fitting thing I can say.

But, I wrote my cousin Heather a letter, and I just told her I was sorry that she had to go through this, and I admitted that I was really bad at knowing what to say. And that all I could tell her is that it was going to hurt, a lot, for awhile. I told her some other things, favorite memories of my Uncle, and how I was glad at the very least that he wasn’t hurting or suffering anymore. And then I apologized for not keeping in touch, and expressed my regret for not being able to be there, and how I wished I could have said goodbye to him myself. And then I said I wanted to keep in touch better.

So, we’ll see. I should be going to bed, because it’s going to be a loooong day tomorrow, but I can’t seem to make myself. I tend to do this when I stress, not sleep.

3 07 2009
Witchypoo33

I should be in bed now, also, Cloey…but, I just wanted to tell you that your letter was really nice. I’ll bet Heather really appreciates it. Now, try to get some zzzzzzzzzzz, Sweetie. Nightie-night, (again). (Btw…there’s A LOT of alcoholism all throughout my family, both maternal relatives and paternal, and Jerry’s parents drank heavily all throughout his growing-up years. His Dad still drinks regularly, but his mom has health issues that make drinking pretty impossible these days. Anyhoo…I definitely can relate to the alcoholism theme running through your stories).

3 07 2009
lara21167

I don’t know where to begin, so I’ll begin with the happy Gabber, I am so glad you have found such a wonderful man. And I don’t know if babies get easier the more you have because they are or just because your more confident as a mom. Is the dad of your 2 older girls involved with them? I’m glad your guy is so good with them all, that shows what a great guy he is.

Rowdy, As with Witchy and Cloey, I don’t think you are asking too much from Alex. I mean it would be different if you were asking him to convert, but your not. Your just asking him to participate in your family. He doesn’t have to believe their beliefs. I am a strong believe in Jesus even though I don’t belong to any organized religion and don’t attend church. I just feel his presence especially when I’m feeling down. But if I were in love with a Jewish man I wouldn’t have a problem attending Jewish functions with him. I could still believe what I believe and attend those functions. But as Witchy said, if he really loves you and I am sure he does, and wants it to work with you he will comprimise (sp) on this knowing how strongly you feel. After all a relationship takes alot of comprimise.

Cloey, death is always hard. We had to make the decision to let my father go when the time came. It was hard. He was on a ventilator (now he had a living will and he had ultimately already made the desicion but we had to say ok take the ventilator out). And it seemed that was what he needed our permission to go because within an hour he was gone. When my mother died I never understood why everyone keep telling me that they were sorry. It wasn’t their fault. I remember soon after she died I was at school at lunch and a lady came running into the cafeteria and went to her son who pointed at me and the lady came running over to me, hugging me and telling me how sorry she was. I mean now I know how sweet that was of her, but then being only 11 all I could think was why is the lady sorry it’s not her fault. Strange how you think when your a child. Anyhoo Cloey, maybe something good will come of this. You’ll get the pictures you’ve been longing for and develop relationships with family members you’ve lost touch with.

And on to other things, why in god’s name is Ginger being soooo bad this morning!!! She already ate one of Kristy’s stuffed animals, and she’s been good about not chewing things up!! And just being a nuisance. I think she’s bored.

4 07 2009
janey

this is gonna b a really bad weekend. =[

4 07 2009
lara21167

Oh Janey, will your mom at least take you to see fireworks?

5 07 2009
Clo

Tonight was pretty much exactly what I needed after the crap that was the past two days.

My Uncle’s funeral was again, a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. My step-dad wasn’t even there, I overheard someone say he was “sick”. Now, I didn’t talk to him at the wake, but he LOOKED just fine, so I’m wondering if he chickened out. Which is weird, he usually doesn’t, but who knows. He also has a tendency of sending really weird letters after he sees us. I, however, don’t know if he even has my Mom’s address anymore, so. We’ll see.

It was just a sad thing, and I found that my mind was constantly wondering what it would have been like had my Dad still been alive. Would he have sat in front with my Aunt and other Uncle? Would I have sat with him? Would I have gotten up and said something when they asked family members to speak? I realized I’m not really angry at my family for not keeping in touch with me. I’m just… Sorry. I felt sorry a lot that day. And it just, kinda carried on through out the whole day, even after we left. My cousin made me really sad though, she was just really upset. She stood up and said that she couldn’t have asked for a better Daddy, and that she couldn’t wait to get to heaven in order to be with him again. And again, that made me think of my own Dad. I was just sorry.

Today though, we went and got our new car (we sold the one with the broken tranny. I swear, since I’ve been with Jeremy we’ve had more cars than… I don’t know, someone who has a lot of cars!) It runs really well, but really needs a paint job. The guy had these ugly ass flames, yes, I said flames, painted on the front. Then we went to the store and got food, and headed out to the Dublin fireworks. We went early because they had entertainment (like I said in the bedroom blog, Boys 2 men came and performed, and it was really good, lol. Oldies, throwbacks.) Also a group called the 4 tops? Which I dunno how big they were, Jeremy’s heard of them… I haven’t. Even though it rained pretty much the whole time (sprinkled, and we had umbrellas) and there was a porta potty incident (some smart ass decided it was a good idea to cover the seat in toliet paper, the squat, peeing all over it, and then leave it on the seat, only to have more people come in and cover it with more toilet paper, and pee… And so I squatted over and I don’t know if I peed more on it, or not, and then my pants were damp, and I didn’t know if it was from the ground, from me peeing on myself, or someone else’s pee. I don’t really want to know.)

But, other than that, it was really fun, just to lay around, listen to old school music (that brought up good memories) and nosh. And the fireworks? Amazing!

5 07 2009
lara21167

Good Morning. Cloey glad you had a good 4th, I know you needed it. And how was everyone elses? Mine was really good too. We had our barbque, then went to the the fireworks They had a band too, only a local Baltimore Band, but they were pretty good. They really involved the crowd. Which was a pretty big crowd considering the Antietam Battlefield had their fireworks the same night. They have theirs the Saturday closest to the 4th, which this year happened to be the 4th. And they have the Maryland Sympathy Orgestra play every year. I’ve never gone there though, too many people. The Antietam Battlefield is about 20 minutes from where I live.

So now I need some opinions. My best friend who I haven’t talked to in a while, we are both so busy. Anyhoo I talked to her yesterday and she is concerned about her oldest son. He is like 9 or 10. She’s divorced from his father, who is now remarried. A little history, after my friend, Beth, married Eric she found out he had a pornography addiction. He had over $10,000.00 in credit card debt from making phone sex calls. And the really funny thing is Eric’s mother had told Beth that she wasn’t good enough for her son because Beth’s parents were divorced and she didn’t have a college education. Go figure. So Beth stayed married to him for 10 years, but never really gotten over the porno addiction betrayal and she wound up having an affair with an old boyfriend. This ended the marriage. So the oldest son Jacob, was bitter toward his mother for a long time. I think Eric’s mother badmouthed her in front of Jacob. Anyhoo Jacob seemed to really like his new step-mother and all, Oh, when Beth was married to Eric he was an assistant paster at their church and one day just quit with no explanation. This past Christmas the paster of that church, the one Eric worked for, was discovered to have male homosexual porn on his computer, and naked pics of Eric. Now all of a sudden Jacob says he hates his father and doesn’t want to go with him. They have joint custody so Beth can’t stop Eric from having Jacob at this point. The most disturbing thing is Jacob has suddenly started wetting the bed. And Beth took him to the doctor and they can’t find a physical reason for the bedwetting. So she has him seeing a therapist, but he won’t tell the therapist or Beth why he hates his father. What do you guys think, and do you have any suggestions on how to get Jacob to talk about it? Beth can’t do anything until Jacob talks. I’m going to suggest she take him to an abuse counselor, maybe they know more on how to get a child to talk.

5 07 2009
janey

my mom is sending me with my dad for the summer.
im leaving, hopefully, next saturday to Puerto Rico.
and. i get to see Munchkin.!
we cant find a straight flight to Puerto Rico from albany airport
so i take a connecting flight in florida. my brother lives there.
i have to wait like three hours for the next plane so me and him are gonna hang out unil i have to catch the other plane.

5 07 2009
gabberjazz

hmmmm how old is Jacob? I have worked with many foster children who have been raped,neglected,abused,not saying that nay of this has happened to Jacob at all just it seems like this is a major problem in his life what has been going on to cause him to wet the bed again. I know you said he went to see a therapist,but what about a play group. I don’t know if they are the same where you are.. but you can usually find them at woman’s shelters halfway houses, they are seperated into groups of their own ages and do things that are fun and out going eventually they end up talking about whats on his mind. or they will set Jacob up with a big brother mentor who will take him out and do the same things as the play group but it seems like they get to opening up and finding the problems out faster. I have been involved in both and they seem to be an awesome out reach. Also because it may be in assosiation to the woman’s group alot of these programs are free…. um tell her to find what ever is equal to our community services organization they will point her in the best direction.

5 07 2009
lara21167

Gabber we have a women/childrens abuse shelter that offers free counseling, I don’t know if they have a play group or not. I’m not sure exactly what they do but I do think they have more knowledge than just a regular therapist on getting kids to open up. Jacob is 9 or 10, I think, I lose track.

Janey, will you have computer access so you can keep in touch? Sounds like you’ll be enjoying yourself, better than being grounded 🙂 And it’ll be good for you to see how Munchkin is doing.

5 07 2009
gabberjazz

Lara
I think thats the best chance to get him to open up,because then he won’t think he needs help it will be something fun to do and the help just goes with it. I loved it when I was helping the kids. if they don’t have a play group which I think they most likely will they will know where to get help from!

Janey
Can I come with you?

5 07 2009
gabberjazz

Lol I just heard Nevaeh cry ohhh its so little, she didn’t like Rob changing her diaper lol….. I can’t believe she’s 9 days old already time is flying……

her hair is coming out in color now its strawberry blonde just like Jasmine’s still being a good baby at night we are at 3 1/2 hours now I love having her on a routine.

5 07 2009
gabberjazz

lol I still have momma brain, just wanted your guys thoughts… my training for being an instructor starts in January, or the next is in November 2010, and I will have to return to the prison for a bit before it starts, Rob said he will take mat leave from Jan on and stay home with the girls… what do you guys think? I am up in the air with it I am sure he will do a great job and it means I will be an instructor faster and more money I jump from 80,000 to 100,000 a year but Ihave to leave the girls sooner. then also if I don’t I have to return to the prison for 5 months to start before the training starts….

5 07 2009
janey

gabber- sure, you can come.! as long as you bring the baby.!
i love babies.!

lara- im takin my laptop with me so i’ll
prolly have internet access. yea im happy about seeing my baby boi.!
i cant believe he is going to b 4.!

5 07 2009
janey

oh and im pretty sure if mommy tells daddy that im grounded he’ll ground me when i get there for all of two hours then tell me to go where ever i want =]

5 07 2009
janey

i have to go to the emergency room.
my ear’s bleeding from the inside and we dont know why

5 07 2009
lara21167

Well that doesn’t sound good Janey. Let us know what’s going on when you get back. Gabber, If your instincts say your guy is good and will be good with the kids then don’t worry and do the training in January. For your kids’ sake you do need to get out of that prison.

5 07 2009
janey

they said that they cant really do anything cause they dont know why its bleeding. they said i prolly hurt it while i was cleaning out my ears. he said to let the blood dry up and go see my doctor and tuesday if the pain was too much.

5 07 2009
janey

i was wondering.
while we wait for rowdy’s next post if you guys would lke to
read the beginning of the new short story im writing.
since schools out and i havent had time to do much.
i’ve had a lot of time to read and write. so. thats what im doing.

5 07 2009
lara21167

Sure Janey post it.

5 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Hi, Ladies. Ummm…let’s see: Lara, your suggestion about Jacob seeing an abuse counselor sounds like a good one. If I were in his mom’s position, I’d be very determined to get to the bottom of what’s bothering Jacob as quickly as possible. So, he lives part of the time with his dad? Isn’t there any way she can come up with some excuse for Jacob to remain in her household until they figure out what’s going on? There’s got to be some legal way for her to prevent unsupervised visits until they know whether the father is doing anything to hurt Jacob.

Gabber…how long have you been seeing Rob? I don’t remember if you mentioned whether or not he has kids of his own. I guess you can only follow your own best instincts. If it were me, and we’d only been involved for a few months, I’d probably hold off on having him have that much access to my young children. That’s just my personal viewpoint…you’re the only person who can make that judgement call. I’m very cautious with my children, anyway, (which isn’t to imply that you’re not). Rob does sound like a pretty great guy, so congratulations on all the good things happening in your life right now, Gabber.

Cloey…where are you today? It sounds like you had a great time on the 4th; I love Boyz II Men.

Janey…watch that ear closely. Does it hurt much? Sure – go ahead and throw the story at us; I’m always up for any kind of reading.

6 07 2009
janey

witchy- yes my ear hurts like hell. =[

and i will post it later on tonight.
i have to find it first =[
my rooms a mess. i need to go shppoing and start packing.
OH. and. im extremely mad at mommy.
she says i camt die my hair purple b4 i leave because she told my dad
i got my eyebrow pierced and he had a fit. she says if i show up after not seeing him for two years with a pierced eyebrow and purple hair, he might have a heart attack at the airport. i think. its my hair. they should let me do whatever i want.

6 07 2009
janey

okay i found it.!
it doesnt have a name yet. but. here it goes.

Dad kissed her.
“I’m sorry Jas. I love you too. PLese dont leave. Please,” he pleaded.
And then, i heard something I’ve never heard before. Dad started crying. Mom hugged him close.
“What’s happening, Ray?”
“Idon’t know. Everything’s falling apart. The case, our marige, our kids. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry,” Dad responded.
“The girls miss their daddy.”
But I don’t think he’s willing to change. I think he’s just saying that so MOm won’t leave him. Protecting his reputation. Asshole. I don’t even know how to explain what I feel for him anymore. When he’s at home relaxing or when he randomly comes to one of my volleyball games, I feel like a little girl, and I love my Daddy. But when he blantantly shows that all he REALLY cares about is his job, I hate him. And if I let myself think about it, I’d start to hate Mel. If she hadnt slept with Jayden, he’d still be with me. If she hadnt gotten pregnant, Dad wouldn’t behave this way and Mom would stop crying so much, and maybe their marrige wouldn’t be falling apart.
That’s what it comes to. It’s all Melissa’s fault. But I don’t want to hate my sister. Sometimes, I feel like her mom. That’s because her mother is never home, i thought. Maybe it’s mom’s fault. I feel so lonely. I got up from sitting by my bedroom door and I walked into my bathroom. I looked in the mirror. My green eyes looked tired and I had bags. I opened the medicine cabinet and took out my razor. Maybe physical pain would take my emotional pain away. I held the edge of it just under my left wrist. And let it slide across. I saw the blood but it didn’t hurt. i was crying. I ran my arm under the cold water until the bleeding stopped. After that i slipped between the sheets of my bed and cried myself to sleep.
It was morning and Mom called us down to breakfast. As a family. Dad was sitting at the head of the table, Mom sat opposite him, and Mel and I at the sides. Totally forgetting about my wrist, I extended my hand and asked Mel to pass the butter. She picked it up and was about to hand it to me when she looked down. She dropped the butter. It was a scar she only knew too well. Her eyes started to water. She grabbed my wrist and looked closely. She was gripping me too tight and it was making the fresh cut trying to heal hurt. MOm noticed and stopped talking to Dad. There were tears in both our eyes.
“You’re hurting me,” I whispered.
Mom cleared her throat. “Melissa, let go of your sister.”
Mel let go of my hand. I silently got up from my chair, walked out of the house and drove myself to school.

6 07 2009
Clo

Laura- We’re always told at camp that bedwetting in a sign of abuse, among other things. It could also be stress, especially if he knows what they found in his dad’s office, and children are often MUCH more observant than they get credit for. I mean, I wouldn’t jump to the abuse charge, but I’d keep it into consideration, and obviously as a parent I’d want him removed from the other household until we found out exactly what was going on. You just have to be VERY careful when you accuse something of that magnitude. Obviously if he is sexually or otherwise abusing his son, he deserves all the lables and stereotypes and negative consequences. However, working with children I have heard MANY stories of children negatively accusing adults to get back at them for whatever reason, and it’s really hard to clear your name once an accusation is put out there. It’s a dangerous slope, because obviously you want to believe what a child says at any time, but on the other hand, I think a lot of emphasis has been put onto the whole good touch bad touch deal, and some times kids realize what a powerful tool it is. I’ve heard two stories in particular. One was a kid who’s parents got divorced, and I’m not sure if her mother talked her into saying her father was sexually abused, or if she was angry at her father or what. But she said it. It was on a dateline special, and they talked about how even after the daughter said what she said, the Dad had to jump through all these hoops to get charges dropped, and even then people just… Assumed, ya know? And then there was this other story where the girl was going to a therapist, and basically the therapist kept bringing up the abuse scenario over and over and over, and the girl started to believe it. She never had been abused. It’s kinda like sometimes when police question over and over and over, people just get tired, want it to stop, and confess.

Again, I’m NOT saying at all to not believe the child if he says this, or to not seek help, because something is OBVIOUSLY going on. I’m just saying that it’s a slippery slope, and you’ve got to be careful.

My advice would be to seek a counselor who deals with children, and see if you can get a referral to a counselor who deals with this sort of thing. The child will most likely eventually talk, they have to build up trust first. There’s also things you can look for. I know sometimes art therapists can see things in childrens drawings, and I mean there are other things in behavior as well. I know some of them (we get trained to spot abuse signs, because we’re… Something, I keep wanting to say wards of the state, lol, but that’s not right. We just are required by law to report any inklings abuse. Same with teachers, police officers, ect.) but I’d hesitate to do a online diagnosis so to speak. Has anyone asked him out right if anyone has done anything, or why he hates his Dad now? Sometimes it’s easier to use props (like a doll) to ask where he’s been touched or if he’s been touched, ect. As far from keeping him from his Dad… I don’t know. I know the urge to WANT to, and I most certainly would want too, if there was even a question in my mind. The thing I don’t know, is legally. She doesn’t have any legal grounds to keep him. And I know when you’re married, you can take a child, and it’s not consider kidnapping until they go through the legal process (which by that time, the parent who took the child is usually long gone.) But I’m not sure how that would work if you’re divorced, because obviously legally you have custody set up and all that. I would either talk to the father (which, obviously has a very high chance of backfiring, especially if he did something to the boy. But even if he didn’t, he may obviously become defensive.) or talk to a lawyer, and see what they can do. However, to set up some sort of temporary supervised custody thing, you may have to file a charge, and if the boy (sorry I keep calling him “the boy” lol, I don’t remember if you said his name or not) doesn’t say anything happened, that’s not going to fly. (Even if something did happen, legally they have to have an accuser before they can start any charges) It’s a tricky situation.

Witchy, I went down to camp to visit my sister. We were supposed to swim, but I forgot all our stuff at home, so maybe Wednesday we’ll go. Then when we got home, Cayden just spiked a sudden kinda high fever. It was weird. It was like 102, and then we gave him a tempid bath and some food and he was fine. I think he may be getting a new tooth.

How was the 4th for you?

6 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Hi, Cloey. I’m glad little Cayden perked up. So, did you get all the way to camp before realizing you forgot the swim things? That’s always fun. Our 4th was somewhat lowkey…we went out and got fireworks for the boys in the earlier part of the day. Usually we go to the reservation about 20 – 30 minutes away, since you get a lot more for your money, but this year Jerry didn’t feel like it, so we just got them a few miles away. Last year, we got stuck in the middle of a city-wide parade on the 4th, and we were in traffic for about 2 hours before finally making it to the reservation to get the fireworks. It was one of those situations that by the time you realize you’re in the middle of something, you’re already stuck, and there’s no way to turn around or anything, since traffic is bumper-to-bumper, moving about 5 miles an hour, if that. So, after getting the fireworks, Beau and Chance helped Heath with some “kiddie” ones, while we took pictures and all that. Later, once it was dark, we watched while Beau and Chance set off the bigger ones, and all around our neighborhood, and surrounding cities, there is always tons of big-scale shows to watch, also. So, we came back in around 11:00 – 11:30 and watched a movie, (‘War Games’ – the remake), until late…somewhere around 1:30. Most years we go to some friends’ a few miles away. We’ve known them for years, originally getting to know them through our boys all being on the same sports teams, (football and wrestling, and some baseball). Anyway, they invite all these other families who’s kids also play on the same teams…and everyone brings tons of crazy fireworks to light off on their property, (they kind of live in the middle of the woods). A couple of years ago, some guys got a little too drunk and started setting off dangerous fireworks in the middle of too many people, and there were chunks of fire and sparks flying everywhere. One guy we know was so drunk he didn’t even realize his teeshirt was on fire. He’s walking toward me with a dumn grin plastered on his face, and I’m like, “Uh…Jim? Do you realize you’re on fire?!” He says, “Oh SHIT!!!” and starts hopping around, trying to rip off his shirt and all that. That was late, right before we left, so some people were pretty drunk by then. We also often go to a New Year’s Eve party with a lot of the same people, only at someone else’s house. It’s hilarious to watch various people get wasted and act like idiots. One year when Heath was only 1, Jerry and I were sitting in the dining room with Heath and another couple, just visiting, and the little sister of one of our friends was so wasted she was hanging over one of the silver snack warmers, swaying back and forth, picking little cocktail weinies out of the huge warmers with her fingers, then dipping her spit-ladden fingers back in for second helpings, trying not to do a faceplant into the sauce. We didn’t eat any more of THOSE particular snacks. You know those scenes where you can’t tear your eyes away, even though it’s ridiculous and/or embarrassing to watch? Yeah…like that. Today, we shopped for things like new sandals and swim trunks for the boys, and I got some new sandals, also. I’ve been ordering some swimwear/summer clothes from Victoria’s Secret for the past couple of weeks; we’re going to Great Wolf Lodge on Tuesday with Jerry’s work partner/best friend, Larry and his wife, Michelle, and their two kids, Austin and Tayler. We went to the same place with them last year, also. Great Wolf is nationwide, and they opened up a resort in our state last year; they have the greatest indoor water park…it’s huge. They have rides for every age category…including a newly added outdoor section of interactive pools for kids Heath’s age and a little older, with different forms of water life, educational aspects, etc. At night, they have a storytime by the big fireplace in the lobby of the hotel, with someone in a bear costume, (some kind of teddybear costume…I can’t remember the bear’s name right now). Anyway, last year, Heath couldn’t get enough of this bear…he kept giving him hugs and holding his “paw” and all that, while I took pictures. It was so cute. The kids are encouraged to wear their pajamas and bring blankets and pillows…it’s fun. Anyhoo, there’s also all these indoor shops, restaurants, a massage/facial spa, a dance floor…just about everything you could think of. Last year, Beau and I went to buy pastries at this little shop on the 3rd floor around 10:00 pm…and we heard some loud dance music…so we look inside the “party room” and there was this teenage dance going on, with all these awkward-looking teenagers standing around looking embarrassed…and a few silly-looking ones out “shaking their groove-thangs” on the floor. Beau and I couldn’t stop laughing and staring at them from around the corner of the door. It was hilarious; I tried to get Beau to go in there, but that was pretty futile, so we just laughed instead.

Lara, the swimwear I mentioned getting from Victoria’s Secret is really cute, and it looks really nice on, also. The quality is so much better than most places I’ve seen…and the prices are actually more reasonable, especially with the sales they’re having now…since it’s already well into swim/summer season. They have lots of higher-waisted bottoms, and cute little swim-skirts…all with waists that either go to about the bellybutton, (like you mentioned having a preference for), or to just a little below the bellybutton. It’s not all just little string bikinis like you’d think. They actually have a lot of styles. I also got a long wrap-skirt to wear over little bathing suit bottoms when just walking around the beach, and a cute little black swim skirt to wear with whatever…it matches a new bikini top I just got…and I also got a new two-piece in kind of a spring-garden floral design. I love swimwear. I’m planning on “scandalizing” my two oldest spawn all summer with it around the house. Heeheehee. They don’t actually care…they like to tease me about everything, anyway. Heath is so cute: he’ll “inspect” any new clothing I get…looking at it from several angles. He seems to prefer me in bright colors…especially reds and pinks. I’ll get something new and he’ll say, “Ooooohhh, Mommie…I LIKE that pretty shirt!”, (or dress, or whatever). He’s a little charmer when he’s not demanding something, or pissed off at his brothers. Hmmm…I guess I’m just rambling now; I’m kind of sleepy.

What’s everyone else up to?

6 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Yeah…I know it seems like I shop all the time from Victoria’s Secret online/catalogue for clothes. Not always…sometimes I actually go to a store and try things on, (when I HAVE to). Last year around the end of May, I took the boys to a shopping mall with me so I could buy a new swimsuit . I was in Nordstrom’s, (do you guys have those stores in your states?)…and their saleswomen are really helpful and knowledgeable about their products. So, I have this sweet little gal running back and forth, picking out suits for me and giving me her opinion on how things look and fit…and the whole time I can hear the boys. They’d snuck into the ladies dressing-room area and were screwing around a couple of stalls down from me, making tons of noise, having Heath peak under doors at women trying on suits, and just laughing really loud and acting completely goofy. The salesgirl was pretending not to hear anything, and I would have been really embarrassed, if I wasn’t used to these kinds of antics. That’s a good example of why I usually prefer to order things over the phone.

6 07 2009
Clo

Witchy, we usually do low key fourth stuff. I just don’t feel like braving the crowds for 10 minutes of fireworks, you know? But this year I’m super glad we got out. I really needed it. And when Cayden’s older, I think it’s kind of a rite-of-passage to spend the day outside, snacking on food and playing with your friends, then watching the fireworks on a blanket with your family, and then falling asleep in the car listening to your parents grumble about the traffic, so we’ll do it. But when it’s just me? I couldn’t care less. Last year I was too pregnant to go anywhere not air conditioned, and the 4 years before that, I think I spent all the 4ths at camp, where we don’t do much.

We did get alllll the way to camp before we figured out we’d left the suits at home. We went to go buy some more (my sister was going to buy one for me) but then I figured by the time we got back, we’d have like 1/2 hour before we had to leave to go meet some friends, so it was pointless.

Cayden’s fever went back up again, and I have a question for you Mom’s: How high is too high? He started out with a fever of 101.9, had a little bit of diarreah (but that’s been kinda constant since he’s been on the meds, we haven’t gotten it to really go away yet) and a runny nose (we think, the couple of times we’ve seen it he’s been crying, so I guess he could just have a runny nose from crying, although usually when he cries that doesn’t happen.)

Here’s the full story: When he got his ear infection he was supposed to be on the amoxicillian for 10 days. Even when he got the diarreah they told us to keep him on the amox. So we did. He had an appointment scheduled 2 weeks after he had his ear infection for a check up. But, we had to go in a little early because of his diaper rash. Well, when we went in for the diaper rash, our doctor, Dr. Wagner, wasn’t available. So we saw Dr. Boyle. I LOVE our doctor, by the way. Anyway, Dr. Boyle just kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Anyway, she told us to stop the amox. Which Jeremy was kinda like WTF about, because he (and I) always heard you should finish the antibiotic, or else the stuff might come back, and it may come back stronger than in the first place. But, she’s the doc, so we listened. Well we saw Dr. Wagner a couple days later for his 9 month check up, and she said he was fine. But, then he spikes this fever. Once it hit 102 we called the doctor (we’d be using the medicine dosing for awhile, and his weight’s gone up, so we weren’t sure how much to give him. Plus, I wanted to ask what I’m asking you know: how high is too high?) Anyway, on call Dr. Is Boyle. She said that we should treat his fever and if it’s not gone by WEDNESDAY to bring him in. WEDNESDAY? It’s freaking SUNDAY for Christ sake, I’m supposed to let my baby have a fever for 3 days before he gets seen? Then Jeremy asked how high was too high. She said that a fever can’t get too high, that it’s an old wives tale. Does this sound right to you guys?? I mean, if you say yes, I’ll trust you. But I just can’t believe that if you’re child has like, a temp of 104 or 105, you’re not taking them to be seen? And I mean, we took his temp rectally. I dunno, I just don’t like this woman. And I’ll probably end up calling tomorrow anyway.

6 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Cloey…DO call tomorrow, and trust YOUR OWN instincts. I don’t know what the hell that woman is talking about with the “old wive’s tale” bullshit. A fever CAN get too high…high enough to cause all kinds of damage. A fever that won’t drop below even 103 is enough for me to get my child in…even 102 sustainded over more than a couple of days is going to prompt me to get my child in. Something isn’t right when a fever that high doesn’t go down after a couple of days. I switched pediatrician’s when Beau was around 2 years old, because the guy I had was older, old-fashioned, and kind of blase’ about most things…including Beau’s asthma problems. I didn’t like it, and the lady I switched to has always been so much more on top of things, including the asthma; she also knows when to refer us to someone who has more knowledge/experience with something…which has happened a couple of times. Don’t bother trying to convince yourself to feel comfortable with advice from anyone – including a doctor – when you just don’t feel right about what you’re being told. Waiting until Wednesday with a fever even around 102? I’d think it’s close enough to his ear infection, along with the fact that he didn’t finish all the antibiotic, to have to consider the possibility that it could be related. I’d just get in touch with your regular doctor…I wouldn’t even bother with this one you’re refering to right now.

6 07 2009
Witchypoo33

should read, “sustained”. I’m so tired right now I’m blurry-eyed.

6 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Let us know what you decide to do, and how Cayden is doing.

6 07 2009
janey

im babysitting.

6 07 2009
lara21167

Agree with Witchy Cloey, fevers freak me out to begin with and they can’t get too high?? Umm, isn’t over 106 like extremely dangerous?? But the high fever so soon after the ear infection and taking him off the amoxil without finishing, yes get him in today. I’ve heard too many stories of young children with ear infections being hospitalized because the parents didn’t know they had one until their fever spiked like that.

Well thanks for all the advise for my friend. Cloey I don’t think she’s actually asked Jacob straight out if his father is abusing him, because she doesn’t want to put anything in his head. I didn’t talk to her last night, but I’ll call her today and suggest that she call the abuse shelter. They will take action if they just suspect abuse so I think that is the way to go. Right now Jacob and his younger brother are on Vacay with his Dad and my friend is going crazy worring about it.

Witchy, I had a similiar experience with drunks and fireworks lol. One year when Kristy was a baby, we got fireworks and set them off at my hubby’s twin brother’s place. Well the twins were pretty drunk and setting off the fireworks. My hubby lit some thing that was supposed to be set up on the ground. But noooooooo he has to light it and throw it. And what happened it starts shooting fireworks at where we were sitting. Everyone ran except me and Kristy. I was holding her sitting at the picnic table and couldn’t move fast enough, so all I could do is cover my baby and hope for the best. But my brother in law, who can be an ass at times, covered both Kristy and me and he didn’t have a shirt on, so he got burned pretty good. Kristy and I were unharmed. Kind of did me in on the home fireworks though. Ok Witchy I’ll check out VS’s swimwear. I do need a new suit. The 2 piece I have I don’t like and I have a cute black 1 piece, but then I can’t tan, like I like.

Janey good story, give us some background on your charactors.

6 07 2009
Clo

I mean, like I said, I love, love, LOVE our regular doctor. Love her. She’s just VERY good at explaining things (Jeremy says she over explains, but I’d much rather her do that then not explain or explain crappily.) And I dunno, I just like her. Now I’m pissed at this doctor because I bet he has an ear infection again from not finishing all his antibiotics. And the last time we called at night when Cayden had a fever, there was a different on call doctor who seemed to think 102 fever warrented an ER visit. I’ve just NEVER heard fevers are an “Old Wives Tale” Even my Mom, who has her MASTERS in nursing, told me to call the doctor if his fever didn’t go down from 101.9 with the meds, and def. if it reached 102.

We are waiting though. The motrin brings down the fever, and he has really no other signs of anything. He gets cranky when his fever gets high but onve we give him the motrin he seems to settle down. I’m wondering if he’s getting a new tooth and it’s causing this. I told Jeremy if he still has a fever tomorrow we’ll call.

I would call my doctor today, only I don’t get to talk to her, I get to talk to a phone nurse. Who either is blase about everything, or is hyper sensitive about everything. I really love our doctor, but sometimes I wonder if we’ll end up switching, because I’m not crazy about the other staff (phone nurses, sometimes the office staff are idiots or rude.) I dunno. Jeremy really hates the office staff, but I’m like… We love the doctor, and she’s the most important thing, right? We see the office staff for like, 10 minutes. So, I dunno.

6 07 2009
janey

um. Kelsey is the main character. she is 17 years old. she is struggling with the fact that her sister slept with her boyfriend and is now pregnant. she also feels lonely cause her parents love her but they are never home. and their jobs are often their first priorities. Kelsey loves her sister and feels like she’s the one that HAS to make sure that her sister is taken care of. she is suicidal. her sister is the reason why she wants to kill herself yet she’s the one reason why she cant. if she does, who will be there for her sister, Melissa.?

6 07 2009
Clo

Laura, she doesn’t have to ask him if his father did it, just ask if anyone has hurt him or touched him in a place they shouldn’t have. If he says yes, then I’d probe further. Alright, Cayden’s asleep. So I’m going to lay down. If his fever is back when we get up I’ll probably call. It’s just tough, because we’ve been in there so much as of lately, and of course if we NEED to be there, I’ll go. I dunno. We’ll see.

6 07 2009
gabberjazz

Yes clo a fever can get too high, My little brother got a fever when he was 1 year old and it sent him into shock he went stiff as a board and we rushed him into emergency and they said his fever got too high and once they got it down he was ok again… they can have seizers (ok can’t spell today) due to fevers.

6 07 2009
gabberjazz

Witchy
Yes Rob has a 3 year old daughter. She’s great! Rob and I have been together almost 6 months, but have known eachother for a long time. He was my instructor when I went through training for my job.

6 07 2009
Clo

I called and got an appointment tomorrow. Not with our doctor, but not with stupid Dr. Boyle either. It goes down with motrin, but comes right up once it wears off. And I just don’t like the idea of having to keep him medicated in order to keep him healthy.

Stupid Dr. Boyle.

I mean, I dated a guy who went deaf (partially deaf? I don’t know, he could hear with hearing aids, but without them was totally deaf.) because he had a really high fever when he was younger. I’ve just never heard that you just let a fever go higher and higher.

Curse you, Dr. Boyle.

6 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Lara…if you look at the Victoria’s Secret Swim things…the high-waist and the mid-scoop bottoms are good, (mid-scoop covers more than scoop, and obviously, high-waist covers the most).

Cloey…glad you have an appointment for Cayden, in case the fever just won’t stay down on its’ own.

6 07 2009
lara21167

Cloey if you don;t like what stupid Dr Boyle says tomorrow, go to the ER. Idk, sometimes Doctors get too busy to really look at things or care. I don’t like my family doctor that I see mostly, but when I was sick I saw another doctor in the office I really liked, and want to continue to see him. The other doctor is a pompous ass.

Witchy I like the waist high, I’ve got a great ass for 42, lol. So I’m not afraid to show that but my tummy is a bit pouched (sp). Just need to do some crunches 🙂
Ya’ll should read the article on Cosmo about Cougars stealing young hot chicks men. Thought it was funny.

6 07 2009
Clo

We’re not seeing Dr. Boyle tomorrow, I would have refused. We’re seeing a Dr. Lamont or something. I dunno. Once again he seems better. I dunno. I’d rather be safe than sorry I guess, and he’s still really kinda… Out of it. Sleepy. He slept for 3 hours and now still looks tired.

6 07 2009
Clo

Oooh meant to say too Laura, I read an interesting article on Cosmo about what goes on at Bachelor’s Parties. It was crazy.

Also, Brook (my friend with the dumb boyfriend) is now engaged. So now I think I may be stuck with him. Bummer.

6 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Yeah, the bachelor party thing…it’s crazy what can happen when you mix booze, strippers, and guys with questionable intelligence/maturity. They can do some pretty stupid, self-destructive things, (especially if they’re in a serious relationship…lots of potential for damage there for a certain type of guy).

6 07 2009
Clo

Well this stripper says that she won’t have sex with the people at the party, but that she brings a partner (another girl) and like, they have sex. And I just didn’t think it went THAT far, lol. Maybe I was really naive, but I thought, OK, they strip, rub their tits in the guys faces, maybe make out a little. But no, this chick was like “oh, I have a bondage segment, then I break out the vibes, then we kiss and lick each other…” And I’m like. WHAT?

And how much does something like that cost??

6 07 2009
lara21167

I don’t think i’d want to marry a guy that’s going to do all that. Reminds me of the old movie “Bachelor Party” with Tom Hanks, when he was soooo young. Funny movie if you’ve never seen it you should rent it.

7 07 2009
Clo

Ha, I’ve seen it. The stripper said in the article most of the time it was the other guys at the bachelor party who would try to get her to sleep with the groom. She said about 80% of the grooms got really angry, 10% of the grooms acted like they’d go along with it just cuz of their buddies, and the other 10% would persue her and try to get her to sleep with them. She said the weirdest thing she encountered was the father of the BRIDE trying to get her to sleep with the groom. It was a pretty… interesting article.

7 07 2009
lara21167

I’ll have to read it if it’s still on there.

7 07 2009
lara21167

I wanted to share with ya’ll about a poor cat that was stuck in a tree for 8 days. The cat was finally rescued by a tree trimming company. Someone had heard the cat crying in the tree at night. It was like 40 – 50 ft up the tree. So this person called the Humane Society who said it would come down on it’s own and didn’t bother about it. So the person called the local newspaper and once the story was out the Humane Society did make an effort to get the cat but it climbed higher and they were afraid it would jump. Then a local fire department tried to get it and couldn’t. The tree company guy climbed up the tree, the cat tried to go higher but he was able to grab it and put it in a pet carrier he had attached to a rope an lowered it down. The cat seems to be in good health, it was being checked out by a vet and then after 5 days will be available for adoption. And they already have people interested, so let;s hope the poor kitty finds a good home after that ordeal.

Janey how is your ear?

7 07 2009
janey

my ear is fine.
i was partyin last night with my sister.
and apparently i got drunk and threw up.
i dont remember anything. i dyed my hair tho.
but not purple. bright red. =]

7 07 2009
gabberjazz

Clo

just wondering how the Dr’s appointment went keep us up to date please…..

7 07 2009
Clo

Cayden has no ear infection. Some virus is going around, the doctors think that’s what he has. Although, I was just sitting here thinking. My cousin saw Cayden like two days before she came down with the swine flu. I highly doubt it is the swine flu, I don’t think it would have taken that long to pop up. But I realized they had asked me if he had been around anyone sick, and probably should have mentioned that. Of course, as I type this, Cayden just threw up. Here comes paranoia. Ha, I’m kinda kidding (I think you Mom’s know what I mean. I know it’s 99% likely that it’s not that, but instead the Mom in me is focusing on the 1% like… what if?)

Janey I never really got into that whole party phase. I always thought it was kinda dumb to drink until you don’t remember. I’m not a big drinker anyway, it’s the alcoholic genes in me that make me kinda afraid of it. But, I mean. Why would you want to drink so much that you can’t remember anything? You don’t know if you pissed people off, if you had sex with someone, if you embarassed yourself. I mean it sounds like your sister was watching to make sure you stayed out of trouble, but still. So much bad stuff happens when people are that wasted. I’d rather remember the times I had. I do drink, but the whole getting drunk deal? I dunno. The room spins, I feel like I’m not fully in control of my body, I just don’t like it.

Plus, you can get into SO much trouble for underaged drinking, and totally ruin your chances at so much. You can lose scholarships and stuff like that. And, you can also get whoever’s house (or parents house) in trouble. At least here, if there’s underaged drinking going on, whoevers house their at, the parents get in trouble, whether they knew it was going on or not. It’s just really not worth it. At least to me.

7 07 2009
lara21167

Janey I agree with Cloey’s lecture on drinking, and yea I drank at your age. I was horribly shy and liked to drink because I wasn’t shy. But I did so many stupid things I can’t even count them. And yea I had fun at the time, now I look back and thank God that I made it through without getting into a lot of trouble or hurt or whatever.

Cloey, I’d call the doctor again (I know you don’t really want to) and tell them about the swine flu exposure and how long ago it was, just to be safe. But their seems to be viruses going on around here so that’s prob all it is. That horrible flu I had, I got a 2nd time, a few weeks later, just not as bad, so I didn’t say anything to you guys.

7 07 2009
lara21167

Lots of misspellings and such in that comment. I know you guys can figure it out lol.

7 07 2009
Clo

Don’t make me call the doctor Laura. Don’t make me do it. They’re gonna make me come back. I mean I really don’t think that’s it. I asked my Mom, and she doubts it too.

I’m watching Michael Jackson’s funeral. It really is actually more like a concert, which is kinda nice way to say goodbye to him, I think. I think it was Al Sharpton who said it best, he said something like “To Michael’s Kids: People will tell you that your Daddy was strange. He wasn’t. The things he had to deal with were strange.” And I agree. We’ll never know if he molested those kids or not. There’s just TOO many factors in it. But, he’s gone now. And if he did, he’s being punished for it. And if he didn’t, well, then he didn’t. But as I said before, while I don’t think a trouble past is an excuse for your behavior, I think it can be a reason. And I think when you’re famous as at young of an age as he was, you’re going to have to deal with lots of things that can mess you up.

7 07 2009
lara21167

I just don’t think he did molest those kids. Honestly I don’t think he had sexual urgeses (ok went brain dead but I think you know what I was trying to spell) like “normal’ people (sorry he just wasn’t normal under what is considered normal by the average person) They are saying now the kids are not his biologically and I wonder if he ever really had sex ever.And like I said before, he may have acted inappropriatley with those boys but not inappropriately in his own mind.

7 07 2009
Clo

Well, I think sleeping with someone elses kids who you don’t know well is inappropriate, but I’ve been guilty of doing that. At camp, I always tried to keep my distance in a way from kids, because as I stated before, all they have to do is accuse, and whether or not it’s true, your life? Is over. And, I mean, of course if you molested a child, your life SHOULD be over, but if you haven’t… Kids here (and again, I don’t know if this is an Ohio State law or national) have 7 years to accuse. And in some ways I think it should be longer, but in other ways, I’m glad it’s not. Anyway, I digress. I tried to keep kids from doing anything that could in any way, shape, or form be viewed as inappropriate. And the kids, especially the little ones, would always try to sleep with you. And most of the time I’d say no, you need to be in your own bed. But, there were a few cases where I relented. Once when a little girl woke up and had a bad dream, another time the girl had packed up her blanket (Friday night some of the kids want to pack up their stuff and leave it up where they load the truck so they don’t have to carry it up in the morning. But some nights it gets really cold.) So I let her sleep with me and my blanket.

But I think you’re right. I think in his mind he was 8 years old and it was OK to have a sleepover with his friends, you know? I don’t really get the view that he was sexually either. They just had an interview on with his maid, and she claims he married Lisa Marie to give the impression that he was sexual, and normal. I think he just wasn’t, and I think it’s sad he felt like he had to pretend. Who cares if the guy didn’t want to have sex? It doesn’t bother me.

8 07 2009
lara21167

I always thought that about his marriage to Lisa Marie. I think his family is all about image and he new he was different and did what he could to try to be “normal” again normal in the view of the average person. It’s very sad that he felt he that way and couldn’t just be himself different or not. I would love for someone that was really really close to him and new all his secrets to write a book. Especially the skin bleaching thing, I would love to know what that was all about. And I really don’t think he was trying to be “white” I think more that he was either just trying to alter his looks or show people that there is no race differences something like that. Remember the Dr. Seuss story “The Sneeches” where the charactors some had stars on their bellys and some didn’t. The one’s with stars were superior to the ones without. And this charactor (not sure what to call him) comes in the story with a machine to put stars on the sneeches bellies then a taker offer. And pretty soon none of them know who had a star originally and who didn’t. I think Michael may have been bleaching his skin based on an idea like that. But unfortunately it didn’t work out quite right.

8 07 2009
Clo

What they say about his skin color is that he never bleached it, that he had a condition that caused him to lose pigment, which meant he lost his color. People think he bleached it, because this disease normally only causes people to lose their pigment in patches. And I mean, honestly if I was famous and had to be in front of a bunch of people, and had that condition, I would do whatever it took to make sure I looked “normal”, whether it meant bleaching the rest of my skin to match the patches.

And I mean, he may not have had this condition. Who knows? Who cares? It’s just like, so many people criticize celebrities for what they look like, what they wear, how much weight they gain, ect. And then berate them when they take things too far. I mean, come on, is it REALLY such a shocker that so many of them have drug problems or eating disorders? Especially when said person was just on the front of a magazine for being too fat?

It’s just funny to me when I see things like Jennifer Love Hewitt on the front of a mag being called fat. And then we berate them also for putting too much emphasis on looks, and what are they teaching the kids? But really, I mean. If you walked out of your house every day and had a camera shoved in your face taking pictures that were splashed here, there, everywhere would you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t take a lot more pride in how you looked? I sure would. It’s like, you can’t tell them not to put so much emphasis on it, and then go publish (or look at) 20 million pictures of them looking horrible, and calling them names and such.

8 07 2009
janey

no more drinking for me anyways.
my plane leaves Saturday.!
and my daddy. he IS a drinker but he wont allow me to do it.
and his wife is a really responsible person and a church goer.
i already think
they are goin to have a problems with my choice of clothing.
whatever. im gonna have fun in puerto rico and i proll wont be home much anyway

8 07 2009
janey

does anybody know how many suitcaese we can carry on a plane, not includinga carry-on.?

8 07 2009
lara21167

It’s been so long since I’ve flown Janey I have no clue.

Cloey, you are so right, if a celebraty wants to check his/her mail he/she better be dressed to the hilt and looking Fab. And get a little belly pudge, kiss of death. I do hope in Michael’s case if it was a drug overdose or bad combinations of prescription drugs that his family will push the issue of celebrity and anyperson prescription drug abuse. It is a serious problem. especially if docs are prescribing drugs they know they shouldn’t be.

8 07 2009
janey

i got it. its only ONE and it cant be more than 50 pounds.
ONE suitcase.! do you guys know how much clothes i have.?
and how much clothes im goin to buy there.?
GRRRRR.

8 07 2009
Clo

Janey you can have more than one, you just have to pay for it.

Laura- Yeah, I mean there have just been SO many deaths because docs can’t say no. But that’s the problem when money and drugs mix. A lot of people stop doing drugs because they get caught, or because they can’t afford it or whatever. I mean, I know a lot of people also never stop until their dead, but yeah. But when you’re famous, you never get caught, and if you do, you pay your way out of it. And if you’re doc says no to a script? You just offer more and more money until he says yes, or find a new doc who has a price tag on.

8 07 2009
lara21167

Sad thing Cloey it really is. You know whatever happened to investigative reporting. Seems reporters would be all over this problem. But the press seems to have a price tag too. They only report what they are told not digging for the truth anymore. How is Cayden btw, meant to ask earlier but got caught up in the MJ stuff.

8 07 2009
janey

do you guys wanna see what i did to my hair.?
hehe.
the album titled
vacation in puerto rico 09
on myspace.

8 07 2009
Clo

Laura, he’s much better today. Thanks.

9 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Hi Ladies. I’m glad Cayden is a lot better today, Cloey. We just got home from Great Wolf Water Park. I got sick while we were gone; I started feeling not-so-great a couple of mornings ago, but nothing drastic. By yesterday evening though, all my muscles were so sore and stiff…dizzy, ears hurt, listless, all that. I’d been going on the water rides, but I was so dizzy after finishing each one I could hardly stand up. I still feel crappy. There’s my whining for the day. The whole Michael Jackson subject is depressing. My mom was addicted to heavy-duty tranquilizers that her psychiatrist would prescribe for her for so many years; it’s like there were no limits. She finally went through rehab…but it wasn’t easy.

9 07 2009
Clo

I mean any sort of rehab isn’t easy. That’s why it really kinda pisses me off when I hear anyone talk about how drunk they were, and they make it seem like it’s all awesome and cool. A.) I just don’t see what’s so awesome and cool and fun and all that when you’re drunk, ESPECIALLY when you can’t even remember what you did. How do you know it was fun? How are you not sure it wasn’t the worst time of your life? How do you know that you didn’t do something embarassing, or even life altering when you were so drunk you can’t remember? and B.) It’s REALLY easy to become dependent on that sort of thing. And I just don’t even see why it’s worth the risk at ALL. I think the numbers are something like one out of three alcoholics never recover. I mean, my Uncle died from cirrosis (sp?) of the liver, my other Uncle commited suicide because he just couldn’t stop drinking. My Mom almost lost her job that she busted her ass for, yet ANOTHER Uncle went through many things, including having a grand mal seizure when he tried to quit drinking. My Aunt has stage 7 or 8 glacoma right now, among a whole host of other problems, and she’s still drinking. It will not shock me at all when she’s gone, she is going to drink herself to death.

In a way, I feel exceptionally blessed and lucky to have been through some of the things I have. After watching my Aunt and Uncle basically destroy not only their lives, but the lives of their children (After my Uncle died, my cousin Bobby freaked and thought EVERYTHING was going to kill him. He was cleaning something one day, got some bleach on his hand, and called me and my other cousin {his sister} SOBBING because he thought that having just that small amount of bleach on him was going to kill him. He’s also turned into a klepto and a pathological liar, among some other things.) So I just look at people who say how awesome it is to drink and be drunk, and think not only is it stupid, but it’s really pathetic that they think their lives are worth so little. I mean, I’m not being over dramatic. They’re literally putting it all on the line, and for what? A night they’ll never remember? People have died from passing out and then drowning in their own vomit. What a wonderful way to go.

I mean, I obviously drink occasionally. It’s OK when you can do it responsibly, but the key word there is responsible. And you’re not BEING responsible when you’re getting shit face wasted, you know?

I mean the whole issue is, people just don’t take drugs and alcohol seriously. At all. And I think as a nation, we’ve gotten far too dependent on drugs. Don’t get me wrong, I know drugs helped me out a LOT when I was going through my depression, and I do think some people need them. But I think others are using them as a crutch, or rather, don’t know that they can say no to their doctors if they’re not comfortable with a treatment. I like to tell the story of my mom and I going to see my… Physchiatrist (spelling I know, and I always forget if they’re the ones who prescribe meds?) Anyway, the doctor wanted to take me off the meds that I was on (which were working, btw) and put me on a new one (he thought maybe they’d work better. He didn’t know for sure that they would, but wanted to take me off a treatment that was working, in search of a “better” one. Makes NO sense to me. The drug I was originally on DID cause drowsiness as a side affect, but at this point I was used to the medication and it was no longer causing me to be drowsy.) Anyway, he’s going over the side affects, and one of them is a possibility that I’d become allergic to my own skin.

“Just a small chance” he said. And my Mom looked at him, and she asked. Well, is there something else we can put her on that does the same thing? And he said yes. And she asked if there was any chance I’d become allergic to my own skin on that other thing, and he said, no. And my Mom just threw him a look like what a fucking idiot. And I mean, I know to the rest of us, it’s clear what the proper choice would be. But there are some people out there who just can’t or won’t question a doctor. Doctor’s word is law.

Like I said, I’m not against pills as a treatment at ALL, and they helped me out TREMENDOUSLY, and I wouldn’t hesitate to go back on them if I needed too. But I think when you’re at a point where you need uppers to keep up with your schedule and then downers so you can sleep, and then a whole other slew of meds to control the side affects that those other meds gave to you? Then you should be looking at some other options, lifestyle changes, whatever.

A lot of people say that maybe Michael Jackson’s doctors, or Anna Nicole’s doctors, shouldn’t be held responsible. But I think they should. It’s not like they perscribed one medicine that and the person had a sudden, unknown allergic reaction to it. It’s not like they gave them a supply of 30 pills and the person took all 30 in one day. They were knowingly giving a person drugs that they knew could kill the person, very easily, drugs that weren’t really needed, just wanted. How is that ANY different than a drug dealer? I remember reading about Elvis. And at one point he wanted to get off all his pills and go clean. And he went into the hospital to do so. And his friend who was working for him went to his house and got the mail. And in it was a brown envelope filled with drugs that some doctor across the country had just mailed to Elvis. Even though he knew Elvis was trying to get clean.

I could honestly rant about it the whole night. I already kinda have. I just think it’s dumb and depressing and worthless. Elvis had a small daughter, Anna Nicole had a new baby, Michael had 3 kids. And they’re gone. And for what?

9 07 2009
lara21167

Yes Cloey it’s a sad situation, and I still think doctors get a kick back on certain drugs. Ever notice how a new drug comes out and everyone is on it. Like all the doctors are prescribing it. My boss told me once that a doctor was trying to convice her she was depressed and needed an anitdepressant. I’m on that paxil for General Anxiety and it seems to be working pretty good. But I stll have anxiety attacks, racing heartbeat, palpatations, short of breath for no good reason. Like yesterday the big boss (who doing remarkably well btw) was in and yelling like he always does and it caused me to have an anxiety attack and it took me all afternoon to actually calm down. I have to call the doc for a refill on the paxil this time, so I guess I’ll mention that to him, now my doc is more cautious with drugs so I do trust him with that, pompous ass or not lol. but the only other things to take are the valum (sp) xannex stuff and I do not want to get hooked on those. I told you guys I already had a problem with xannex and I only took it for like 2 months, and i know people that have been on it for years!!

Witchy you got my flu, Cloey I think that’s what Cayden had to. There appears to be different strains, or symptoms of it. But I think it is the same thing (this is only my theory) Oh and I have named this flu – Laura’s flu. I am now on my 3rd time with it, so damnit it should be named after me lol. Actually I don’t feel too bad now, but last night running a fever and had the familiar leg aches, back aches, and tummy ache. Each time i get it it gets easier and easier lol.

9 07 2009
lara21167

Oh just out of curiousity I wanted to ask you guys something, My hubby’s friend gave him some garden grown squash, yellow, and 2 of them were stuck together and looked like a man’s scrotum. So my childish hubby held them up to himself thinking he was being funny. Well first I thought Kristy was behind me but she had walked around the corner. So I yelled at him for doing that in front of Kristy before I realized she had walked away first. Then I still just didn’t really find it funny. I mean doing something like that is 1 predictable and 2 sooooo High School. My hubby said I have no sense of humor and his friend’s mother laughed so hard when he did it to her that she almost fell off her chair. So I’m just curious do you guys think that’s funny, somewhat funny, or just plain childish??

9 07 2009
janey

its kinda childish.

9 07 2009
Clo

I dunno, I think it’s kinda funny. But, I mean, I guess it depends on your sense of humor. I mean, I wouldn’t say you’re lacking a sense of humor, you just have a different type of sense of humor. It would also depend on what kinda mood I was in. It would vary from being hilariously funny to me, or just kinda roll your eyes immature, depending on my mood. But I do understand you being angry thinking Kristy could see.

9 07 2009
janey

i dont think i can fit anymore clothes in my suitcase =[
and i still have stuff to pack =[

9 07 2009
lara21167

Cloey I’d have probably though it was funny if my hubby wasn’t consitantly doing dumb stuff like that. Holding large sticks of sausage in front of him and all.

Janey can’t help you there, I’m a terrible packer. I’ll pack a weeks worth of clothes for one weekend. You know just in case lol.

9 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Yes, Ladies…I overpack, also. With all the baseball and/or other sports trips we’re always going on, I probably pack a week’s worth of clothes for both myself, and Heath. The older boys pack their own…including Jerry – but I do go back and add extra clothes to their choices just to make sure they don’t run short. I always feel like maybe we’ll wind up going out somewhere that needs a different type of clothing or whatever. It’s kind of ridiculous. Like, I packed all these swim suits for the water park, yet only wound up wearing one. Though, I didn’t spend as much time as I’d planned in the water, since I got so sick. Speaking of, SweetLara…you poor girl. How do you function effectively while being sick? THREE times with this crap? Ugh. I feel for you, Sweetie. I really feel like crap…I can hardly even get a cap off a water bottle of all things. Normally, I still work out when I’m not feeling myself, but there’s no way I can do that right now – I’m just too sore and stiff all over my body. I sure hope your hubby at least makes some kind of attempt to take care of you when you’re feeling like this…maybe give you a back massage, or draw you a hot soak, or make you something to eat – whatever. Sense of humor?…it varies on my mood, also. I tend to find LOTS of things really hysterically funny. I think that goes back to my childhood when my brother and I, and even my Dad – would cope with unpleasant things by laughing and giggling like idiots…I really tend to laugh myself out of a lot of moods/negative situations. If I hadn’t found a coping mechanism while growing up, I could have wound up a pretty joyless, miserable person. My mom could actually have a really great sense of humor, also…when she wasn’t preoccupied with all her “problems”. That’s one of the biggest aspects of our relationship I miss the most…laughing with her. Anyhoo…yup, I might find what your hubby did funny, depending on his facial expression and tone of voice while “performing”. If someone can add something silly/original to a prank, I’ll laugh my ass off. If it’s something I’ve seen them do a million times, with nothing original thrown in, I might just roll my eyes in disgust. But, I usually give a chuckle for effort, though. Maybe he irritates you in other ways, so his efforts at humor don’t seem to be hitting the mark. Like, if you view him as overall being “immature and childish”, then seeing his little squash-scrotum trick wouldn’t be all that novel and humorous…just tiring. I’m speaking COMPLETELY from my own way of thinking…I have no way of knowing how you view your guy, or what your past history says about how the two of you relate. I just know that I like to laugh…as much as possible. I can be on the boys one minute, (they can be a handful…good boys, but a handful for me), and then we’re cracking up the next minute together. Beau can really get me going when we’re out in public, like grocery shopping or something. He comes across as fairly serious and somewhat poker-faced, but he actually has a hilarious ability to mimmick people, (I do, also), complete with facial expressions, voice effects…the whole thing. I probably shouldn’t encourage him so much by laughing until I practically pee my pants, but…what the hell? I think laughter/humor is a huge benefit in the effort at happy living.

9 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Just to give you ladies an example, or “visual” of the kind of mayhem that often takes place around our homestead, some of Beau’s and Chance’s friends have said that our family reminds them of the show, ‘Malcolm In The Middle’. I’m not sure if that’s “good” or “bad”…I just think they’re refering to the high activity level, the antics that the boys get into, the eccentric, determined mother who’s always trying to keep her boys under control, etc. Also, the noise factor…we ARE a noisy family – that just can’t be helped.

9 07 2009
lara21167

Witchy you sure hit the nail on the head on how I view my hubby!! He is just like a child in so many ways and I’m just tired of being his mother, which is how I feel. And no I take care of everyone else when I’m sick. Which sometimes I think helps me get over it faster. Actually every time I get it it’s a bit easier lol.

9 07 2009
lara21167

And Witchy hope you feel better soon. And I hope your guys take care of you and somehow I think they do.

9 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Sweetlara…I wish I could make you some soup, draw you a bubble bath, get you a book you like, or just take you out to lunch to pamper you a little. I think you really deserve a little V.I.P. treatment…really. You’re a sweetheart.

9 07 2009
janey

i hope you both feel better soon.

and. im thinkin about askin daddy
for a belly ring for my birthday

10 07 2009
Clo

Yeah Laura, if he’s doing it constantly, I’d get annoyed. And I do think you deserve some TLC.

I’m the ultimate packer. Years of camp have done it for me. I have it down to a science of what I need, what, and just in cases. I still over pack a little. However, with Cayden thrown in to the mix? We WAY over packed with him. But I couldn’t help it. You never know with kids what you might need. If they’re gonna get dirty or wet and need extra clothes, ect.

10 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Thank you, Janey. I just have to ask: WHY do you want ANOTHER part of your body pierced? Damn, Janey…I don’t know why that kind of makes me shudder; what if you get the stupid thing caught on your pants or something? I don’t know…yuck. That would hurt like hell.

10 07 2009
janey

i LOVE piercings.!
i dont think piercings hurt at all. three piercings in my ears and my eyebrow ring. i used to have six piercing in my ears. i dunno. they are just as addicting as tattoos. once you get one you cant help but want another one. besides. i think they are cool and ive been dyin to get my belly buton pierced but i kno mommy will say no so ill ask daddy. he’ll say yes unless my step mom tells him to call my mom and ask her. then he’ll just be like. forget it i dont want to talk to her.

and. bout them getting caught. i was brushing out my bangs and my eyebrow ring got caught on my brush. it doesnt hurt any more so i forget i have it. and i did the same thing yesturday

10 07 2009
Clo

I think it depends on where you get pierced on how bad it hurts. I heard your nipples are the worst, and I know my tongue hurt pretty bad. Not even while it was being done, but the after healing was just horrible. It was swollen and I couldn’t eat. I wanted a bunch of piercings at one time, but they were too expensive. As I said before, I’m kinda anal about where I’ll go to get mine done, I don’t want to get some horrible disfiguring infection just in order to save a few bucks. So I wasn’t able to afford a lot. Now I’m over that phase. I miss my eyebrow ring sometimes (although, mine was a barbell, never a ring.) but all in all, I’m OK being pierce-lessness. If I were to ever get anything else done, it would be my labret (sp? I think that’s what it’s called anyway, down by between your lip and your chin?) They had this super cute piercing at the place I go too, it was that spot, and then above your top lip between your lip and your nose. It looked almost like you could button your mouth up. But, I’m at the point in my life where piercings are unprofessional. It’s already bad enough with my wrist tat (I have two others, which are easily covered. Not so much my wrist. I hardly ever wear long sleeves except for hoodies. Looking back, it was a bad placement choice.) However, I do have a few more tat ideas. One for my dad, then I want the Rent “No Day But Today” Tatted somewhere. And then I’ll repeat Cayden’s tat with any more kids I may have. It’s hard because I know I want the rest of my tat’s to be able to be hidden, but I dunno where.

10 07 2009
lara21167

I’m just not into tats or piercings. I have my ears done just once. All my friends were getting second holes and had problems with them getting infected so I never did it. And I’m happy with one hole in each ear. When I was younger I did think about getting my belly button pierced. I do think that is cute. But like Witchy said getting it caught in your pants or shirt even ouch!! Don’t think so. Tongue piercing gives me the chills. Idk, I just know how bad it hurts when you bite your tongue. Plus I gag so easily the “tongue ring” would prob make me gag.

Witchy how are you feeling. I’m feeling pretty good today. 3rd time around and it’s sooo much easier. I wish we lived closer Witchy, I’d love to go to lunch with you, and that goes for all of you.

I cut up my husband’s “balls” last night fried them up and we ate them for dinner 🙂

10 07 2009
janey

hahahaha.!

10 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Wow, Lara…I wasn’t expecting THAT last little detail. You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you? Heeheehee! So, was last night’s cuisine to your husband’s liking? No? Snicker-snicker.

10 07 2009
lara21167

Sure he liked it 🙂

10 07 2009
Witchypoo33

I wonder how Goldie is doing. Goldie…if you’re reading, how are you lately?
Lara…what you just said about your hubby liking his dinner of his own cut-up balls reminded me of the Silence Of The Lambs – part two, (I don’t remember the title of the 2nd movie). Anyway, Hannibal drugs this really annoying jerk of an FBI agent who’s been giving Clorise a hard time…then he kidnaps him, brings him to an out-of-the-way house, and proceeds to use a surgeon’s scapel to open the top of his skull, while Clorise looks on in drugged, helpless horror. They’re at the dining table, and Hannibal is displaying his usual impeccable manners, taste and flair for the finer things in life. He lifts the “lid” of the guy’s skull, carefully removing a part of the brain that governs “higher” thought…then he saute’s it in this fancy little chef’s pan right there at the table. He feeds it to the FBI agent…and the guy is just sitting there, babbling about how good his own brain tastes. It’s chilling and comically insane at the same time. Just thought I’d share that little gem. Don’t go getting any clever ideas now, Sweetlara…heeheehee.

10 07 2009
janey

hey guys. i leave tonight.
as soon as i get internet access.
i will let you know how things went.!
i cant wait to see my brother.!!

10 07 2009
Clo

Witchy- Rowdizzle has emailed me a few times. I’ll let her get into it if she wants too, but she’s been pretty stressed, so you all should email and send her blog love. I just wanted to let you guys know so you didn’t think she went AWOL or whatever. I’ll post more later, they called me at like 8 last night and told me I had to go to camp today, so I did, and then they asked me to take a sick camper home and I had to leave an hour later than I wanted too, and then on the way down my boss texted me for a paper (I didn’t have any cash on me) and then my sister texted me for a whole bunch of stuff to bring at like 11 o’clock last night so I had to get up early and get it (I know, I should have told her to shove it, but she’s having a rough time that I’ll explain later.) And then once I left she called and was like “Can you get one more thing?” Just as I was leaving. So I was annoyed. But yeah, catch you with y’all in a little bit.

10 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Thanks for the update, Cloey. I hope you’re not having TOO hard of a time, Goldie. I’m pretty sure I still have your email, Goldie, (you contacted me about…1 1/2 weeks ago, I think – something like that…so I should still have it. I’d reach out and give you a big hug if I could, you poor girl.

Cloey…your sister is lucky to have a sister/friend she can rely on to help her through rough times; I bet she thinks about that frequently, (let’s hope so, anyway).

I’ll be waiting for udates, Ladies.

Janey…have a safe flight and a fun vacay! Don’t get into any trouble, though.

11 07 2009
Clo

It was OK, it was just a frazzled morning, and I hate when plans change at the last minute. Then I freaking lost my car keys. I’ve been losing everything lately. So freaking absent minded it’s not even funny. I lost 50 dollars. Have NO clue what happened to it. My sister asked me to bring her 50 dollars (She doesn’t have a bank account, so she had her check direct deposited into Jeremy’s account, so I wasn’t giving it to her, I was just bringing her her money.) And so when I got up in the morning to go to camp, I couldn’t find it in Jeremy’s wallet, so I went and gave him his wallet and he handed it to me. Then he gave me a 20 dollar bill to get breakfast. I was carrying both and I got in the car and realized I had the 20, have NO clue what I did with the 50. I must have dropped it outside. Then, the other day my sister owed my Mom 40 dollars, so I went to give it to my Mom. And I get like, down the street, and I realize, I don’t have the money. Once again, no clue what happened to it. So, I search the diaper bag. Go back home, search the house. Then look down. It’s sitting outside the car. Tonight I stayed at my Mom’s (I dropped Cayden off) until Jeremy was off work (we were meeting somewhere.) And I’m getting ready to leave, and I just… Totally couldn’t remember whta I did with my keys. Just… Blank. Finally found them in the backseat of my car.

And today, my ribcage is so sore. I was fine at camp, then I just get home and I’m super sore. I didn’t do anything other than the normal. Swam, but it’s not like I was lapping around the pool. Just kinda hanging out. And my chest is sore too. And I know, it sounds like I’m pregnant, but I just had my period like two weeks ago, and like while my chest is sore, it’s not my nipples (sorry if that’s TMI) like it was when I was preggo with Cayden. I’m just sore. It feels like I’ve been beaten or like, been in a car accident, but not a serious one, just the one that leaves you sore.

Anyway, I feel bad for my sister right now, because she got swindled into being a teen camp counselor, and they stay for four weeks straight, and then her co counselor isn’t doing shit. She’s lonely and bored and frustrated.

11 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Cloey…I hope you’re not getting the bug that I have, and Lara is doing a 3rd round with. It started off with me just being really sore and stiff all over. I get frustrated when I misplace things…I hardly ever do it. I just methodically search everything/everywhere from top to bottom, and retrace my steps. If it still can’t be found, at least I don’t feel like I didn’t try hard enough. I don’t know why it drives me so crazy to misplace, or lose, things. So, you never found the fifty dollars? Bummer. How did your sister get swindled into being a teen camp counselor? Four weeks seems like a loooooong time to be stuck doing something you don’t want to do. Also, your nipple-lowdown isn’t too much information; body issues don’t embarrass or make me uncomfortable in the least. It’s just a basic fact of life…all the body parts and what they do…sex also. There’s not much that fazes me, Cloey.

11 07 2009
gabberjazz

hmmm cloey are you preggo, thats how I know when I’m preggo I really start to lose my mind… I forget everything,I even walked into the prison with my gun on my hip and guns aren’t allowed in there. I also drove the hour home to realize I still had my keys from work and its a security issue so I had to turn around and drive them back.

11 07 2009
lara21167

Cloey, I think you’re getting “Laura’s Flu” the aches and all. Talk about pregro forgetfulness, I was terrible when I was pregnant with Kristy. But stress will really make you forgetful and lose things. And sounds like you are under alot of stress with everything going on. Losing the 50 dollar bill would make me sick though. Just think maybe someone who was in dire need of the money found it. I try to stay positive 🙂

Rowdy we are here if you want to “talk” we will all send positive wishes to you.

11 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Yup, I second that, Goldie. Lara, that’s what I always try to do when I lose money or something else that’s somewhat valuable to me…I assume that it will find its’ way to someone who really needs it.

11 07 2009
Clo

I felt a little sick last night, kinda sick to my stomach, and my stomach was crampy, but not period cramps, kinda like when you suck in your stomach really hard, only I couldn’t let it go? It didn’t really hurt, was just uncomfortable. This morning I feel much better, my ankles are still super sore though, but my ribcage/chest isn’t.

And no, I never found the 50. It was right before the 4th of July, and the neighbors were setting off fireworks like crazy. So Jeremy and I joked that one of them found the 50 and went and bought a shit ton of fireworks.

As far as forgetfulness, Gabber, I’m always super forgetful. My Memory just sucks, or I don’t really pay attention or something. I can’t tell you how many times I park my car, go into some place, and come out and really honestly have no recollection of even the area I parked in.

11 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Well, my daffy, absent-minded-genius-friend, Cloey…you are definitely an example of some of the “stereotypical” traits of an Aquarius. I don’t even feel self-conscious about pointing that out, since I’m used to some people rolling their eyes and grinning at me in a patronizing way when the subject comes up, and it’s clear that I have a high level of interest in that realm. Usually it’s men that laugh at me and act like I’m a “ditzy female” for putting any thought into the metaphysical aspects of life. Anyhoo…I digress: I can just picture you wandering aimlessly into a mall or something, blissfully unaware of the location your parked car is in…because you have your mind in about 10 or a hundred different places…or are just REALLY focused on one specific, absorbing subject. It happens to most Aquarians – all the time. I have an Aquarian moon sign…so some of my emotional makeup seems to be a mystery to the “average” person. I’m usually pretty detached about most things…until I’m not; then, good or bad…I’m really passionate very quickly. THAT’S the Aquarian influence: simply put, it’s just a very unpredictable, highly original placement. I love my Aquarian friends…there’s ALWAYS something to talk about. Usually, Aquarius is a very social, aimiable sign. Even when they’re not, (bad mood or whatever)…they’re always interesting in some way. There’s Kim’s astrology soundbite for the day. Happy Saturday, Girls.

12 07 2009
lara21167

Thank you Witchy, now I know I’m not going senile!! Really I did know about that Aquarian trait just forgot. My brother is an Aquarian too. and one time right after I got my first car (my daddy bought) I had it parked behind my brother’s truck and I was laying in the sun. My brother came out clearly absorbed in some thought, got into the truck and proceeded to back right into my car!! And that’s what my dad said it was the absent minded Aquarian. Cloey I always take some kind of notice of where I park, especially if there is a row number and say it out loud. That helps me to find my car so I’m not wandering around feeling stupid looking for it. And those stomach cramps you described, how I know them so well, part of “Laura’s Flu” Even if you are feeling better, take it easy and watch your temperature. The first time I had it the fever was terrible for a week I couldn’t keep it under control. These last 2 times I’ve had it, it’s been pretty easy. Just the stomach cramps and leg and back aches.

12 07 2009
lara21167

I’m watching the new movie “Son of Sam” it’s done as a documentry style. Very weird movie. You almost feel sorry for this Physco guy he was in a cult and told he was the son of Satan, and he hears these voices in his head all the time making him kill people. Seems if he could have gotten help before he started killing maybe it could have all been avoided and he could have lived a normal life. He was a paranoid (ok I have no idea how to spell this so I’ll spell it how it sounds) skitzafrenia.

12 07 2009
Clo

See, I felt horrible for one night, and yesterday and today I’ve been feeling OK. So, I dunno. My ankles are still super sore. I dunno, it’s like I exercised hard core of something. But I didn’t.

And Witchy I love hearing stuff like that. It’s true I tend to bounce from thing to thing and never stay focused on one task for long. Even on tests, chances are I skip ahead, come back, go back ahead.

And Laura, I was just watching lock down yesterday (Love that show) and there was a guy on their who was schitzo, and in one of his episodes, he killed his mom and ate her brains. It’s just sad to me, because he didn’t know what he was doing. And I mean, obviously he should be punished for what he did, but then I look at all the mental health clinics and hospitals closing down (or the mental health hospitals who DROVE people crazy by their tactics) and it’s just kinda like… No wonder he didn’t get help. We have a huge issue with homeless people and mental issues here, and it’s because we had a couple mental hospitals close down, and these people had no place to go.

13 07 2009
janey

hey guys.!
im in puerto ricco already.
its gorgeous here. the weather is a bit too hot tho.
my fights were good. it was amazing seeing my brother
after two years. and. i lost my laptop at the airport in florida.
luckily security forund it and my brother picked it up
and is goin to mail it to me. i cried so hard last night when i realized it was gone.

anyways. how is everyone doin.?
im off to the beach in the morning.
i got a cute bathin suit today

13 07 2009
lara21167

Glad you made it ok Janey. Hope you have a great time. Keep us informed on all the fun your having.

Cloey, this Son of Sam guy supposedly he has found God now and is actually up for parole, but he canceled the parole hearing, he doesn’t want to get out. And the way this movie went, if he heard voices in his head like they were showing on the movie, no wonder he was crazy, it was driving me crazy. I just couldn’t imagine living like that with voices constantly going through your mind.

13 07 2009
Clo

Yeah. When I tried to kill myself I spent 4 or 5 days (or maybe a week, I can’t really remember anymore, somewhere around there) in the mental ward for children. Every morning we woke up and had to do… I dunno what you’d call it, a mental assessment maybe? For the first few days you were there you had to get your blood pressure checked and vitals checked, and they’d also ask you these questions (even after you were there for a few days, you had to answer these questions.) Anyway, they were like “Do you have any thoughts of hurting yourself or others” pretty normal questions when you’re in a mental ward. We weren’t supposed to listen to the other kid’s answers (they took them off to the side kinda) but I remember there was this REALLY adorable and little black boy (I mean he looked like 4-5, def. not over 6) and all the older girls kinda fell in love with him, and watched out for him. So I remember kinda eavesdropping on his answers. And they asked you if you’ve heard any voices today/recently. And I’ll never forget in his tiny little voice he went “yes” and the nurse or doctor or whoever was asking went “Well, what do they tell you to do?” And he said “Hurt myself.”

It broke my heart. I mean this kid was just the littlest cutest thing ever.

I think it would be really scary to hear voices. I freaked kinda when I got into the hospital, because I’ve heard a voice my whole life, lol, and I’m like, is that normal? Cuz I always considered that it was. And it is, it’s just… Me, lol. You know, the voice you hear that you know is your own? But when they asked me that question I was like… Uhhhh, kinda? lol. They laughed at me when I explained but hey, I just wanted to get the hell outta there and I knew holding anything back wasn’t going to get me outta there.

13 07 2009
lara21167

That’s such a shame about that little boy, I hope they were able to help him. Yea I have a little voice too, it only speaks up when I need it and it’s not very nice lol. Like one of the first times I drove in an ice storm and I was slowing down to make a turn and started to slide, and I froze and didn’t know what to do, my little voice piped right up and said “Get your foot off the brake dumbass!!” Sensible but not nice!!

13 07 2009
Clo

I dunno. The hospital/ward/whatever was a really nice place, but there’s some things they do that I dunno if I agree with. I mean, they won’t let anyone but family come see you. Which, I think in a way is good, and some other ways bad. I mean if you have an abusive boyfriend or girlfriend and he’s the reason you’re all depressed, then I get it. And I guess it saves you from having none of your friends want to show up. But they wouldn’t let my cousin (and my best friend) come, and she’s family. So, it sucked. But, I guess you’re not really in there to party it up with your family.

Do you guys know of any other fictional blogs? I started reading the diary of J, and it’s OK. I can just tell how young she is. Which is weird, because I bet she’s not younger than me, but she just sounds so young. It was weird the other day, because I found out one of the counselors at camp knows a girl I went to school with. And she was like “I keep forgetting you’re that young, you’re so mature.” which shocked the hell outta me, because sometimes I think I’m the most immature person on the face of the planet.

13 07 2009
lara21167

Cloey you are very mature. I don’t know on the fictional blogs, I’ve been reading Diary of J. I agree it’s ok and keeps my interest, but not totally addicting like bedroom blog lol. I used to read a couple on Redbook, but they ended them.

13 07 2009
Witchypoo33

I think if Cosmo can’t find a dependable guy to write a real-life blog, (Joe Hottie), then they could do something like have a fictional ‘Brandon’s Blog’, or ‘Joe-Blow’s Blog’…or whatever.

Yeah, Cloey…you DO come across as mature beyond your years. I honestly believe people are born with different levels of experience/maturity/wisdom…whatever you’d want to call it. How else do you explain a 50 year-old woman or man with the emotional maturity of a child, and then there’s another person who’s a very young adult, who seems to have world-weary wisdom?

On the Bedroom Blog there’s this commenter…Nycgurl, and she’s always dogging my comments. I’ll be “talking” with someone else, or just commenting in general, and she’s always jumping in and bugging me; she seems kind of contentious with me, and I’ve let her know that we don’t need to adddress each other. She’s starting to get on my nerves. I don’t know what’s wrong with some people. Sigh.

13 07 2009
Witchypoo33

supposed to read, “address”. I don’t know why I threw that in there about a fictional guy’s blog…that seems pretty random when I read it. My thoughts are kind of scattered today…still not feeling myself. I was just thinking that Cosmo should do something about the Hottie blog one of these days; they’ve had that blurb on there about staying tuned for quite a while now.

14 07 2009
lara21167

You know it takes Cosmo forever to get something going. I agree with a fictional guy blog. I think they’d have a greater success with it. And Witchy don’t let commenters like NYCgurl get to you. Some people just want to be argumentive for whatever reason. She probably is challanging you to be leader of the pack heh heh.

14 07 2009
Clo

Oooh I can’t stand that girl for saying we run in packs. She pisses me off. She’s just so flippin dumb. She claims we don’t like anyone to disagree with us, but I mean, we were on different sides of the Team K and Team Brandon thing, and we didn’t fight. She’s an idiot who doesn’t know the difference between fighting and disagreeing.

14 07 2009
lara21167

That is the truth Cloey.

So how is everyone feeling today??

14 07 2009
Clo

I’m feeling gross. It’s been this way. I’ll feel yucky and then I’ll go to bed, and feel better. Rowdy told me about this really good fictional blog, if you guys are interested in checking it out.

14 07 2009
Witchypoo33

I second the “gross” thing…was up most of last night watching tv downstairs, (didn’t want to keep everyone awake with me getting up 60 times) – because my stomach hurt so bad. It still hurts, but it’s more endurable. It’s part of this flu-thingy I’ve been trying to get over. I hardly ever get any kind of stomach pain – including period cramps – so I’m not used to this. I’m living off of Tums today. Enough whining for everyone’s taste? This is why it’s probably best for me to just read all your comments, and not say too much until I’m feeling more human. Everyone together: SIGH……(Btw…hope everyone is feeling better. Poor Cloey – we can feel gross together today, I guess).

15 07 2009
Clo

Really annoyed at this point. We saw my in laws on Sunday. Hadn’t seen them for awhile, and my Mother in law said 17 hundred million times “well we need to do this more often.” “Can you guys pencil us into your busy schedules more?” yada yada, laying on the whole guilt trip, even though it was there fault we hadn’t seen them. I mean, fault can’t be blamed, really. My MIL had their hospital stint, but, I mean, it was caused on their side, you know what I’m saying? It seems like if we don’t call them, we don’t see them. Which, doesn’t bother me, but when we do see them, we get the 5th degree. So, tomorrow we’re going down to camp, and we’re taking an old camp counselor and her new son tomorrow. We have plans to meet with the inlaws tomorrow. But they have to make it this whole big deal and try to cancel with us because of shit that doesn’t even make sense. And so I told Jeremy to call them back and find out if they’re for sure coming tomorrow. And they hemmed and hawwed for a little bit, and finally said yes.

But I’m just annoyed. Why does it ALWAYS have to be like this? It’s not like this with my Mom. “We meeting up tomorrow” “Yes.” “No.” It’s one or the other. It’s not a five hours phone conversation convincing one way or another. And then on top of it, my Mom NEVER gives us a guilt trip about seeing her or not. I don’t understand how my Mom, who works OVER 40 hours a week can make time to see them, but they can’t, and then on top of it gives us a guilt trip on how often they don’t see their grandson. I already told Jeremy if they don’t show tomorrow, or show ridiculously late? It’s over, I’m done, they can sit in time out for awhile. If they want to see him they need to make an effort. To call us, to not try to back out of plans when we make them. They acted kinda offended tonight when Jeremy asked them for a definate answer. Because we wanted to make plans. If they come, I don’t have a problem coming home from camp a little early and hanging out. But if they’re gonna blow us off, what’s the point?

15 07 2009
lara21167

Oh I feel for both of you, Witchy the first time I had that flu which was awful. I couldn’t sleep at all. I’d lay on the couch all night moaning and groaning in misery. 2nd and 3rd time have been so much easier lol. Have you guys had the night sweats?? That really makes you feel gross. I mean soaking sweat, where you have to get up and change your clothes.

Cloey, I think you will be dealing with these inlaw problems forever. They don’t seen like they will ever change or be more accomedating. Looking forward to more MIL horror stories…

16 07 2009
janey

greetings everyone.!
im sorry to hear [read] that you guys dont feel well. =[
i hope you all feel better really soon. its no fun bein sick.
and speaking of flu. Swine Flu has come to puerto rico.
everyones goin nuts, refusing to leave their houses and wearing masks.
2 people died. but i think they were older people. im not really sure.

i havent been really keepin up with the bedroom blog cause im using daddys
laptop until mines gets mailed to me. but. people are stupid sometimes.

i put some pictures on myspace of my brother and my dad and the beach. we daddy took me today. its really pretty if you guys want to see them.

i hope you guys feel better soon..!

16 07 2009
Clo

We switched on the theme for Cayden’s birthday. It’s final and it’s gonna be rubber duckies. It’s going to be a lot easier/cheaper to do.

My mother in law just was annoying tonight. The more annoying she gets, the more withdrawn I get, and then I think she notices and thus because more annoying. Everything Cayden does, it’s JUST like her and her family. “Oh you look JUST like Jeremy” “Oh you have legs JUST like me” “Oh that sure is the Erwin nose!” “Of course you have curls, everyone in our family does!” I mean it’s just done so much that I can’t help but think it’s on purpose. She makes NO attempt to me like “Oh, Laura, did you have curls as a baby?” or anything like that.

Then she started in on the dog. “Oh, you’re so lucky Tater that your Daddy saved you.” Tater is my Dog. Jeremy will tell everyone this. I found her on petfinder, I wanted her. Jeremy got her for me. That’s it. Then she went on “Oh Tater, you’re so lucky your Daddy saved you and got all those nasty worms out of your belly.” Really? Jeremy did that? Jeremy didn’t even know how to look for worms. Jeremy wasn’t alarmed at all when Tater didn’t eat for 3 days. Jeremy didn’t take her to the vet, and Jeremy didn’t pay the 500 dollar vet bill.

I’m sitting right there. It’s not like she was like “Mommy and Daddy” or anything like that. She’s doing it on purpose. She’s trying to get under my skin, and I’m so sick of it.

She doesn’t want to start a fight with me. She can’t possibly win it. I don’t want to keep her from her son and Grandson, but I will if she can’t respect and acknowledge me. She will have nothing to do with them, and she’ll spend her time being lonely and alone.

16 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Hi there, Cloey…say, you sound pretty pissed. That’s understandable, since it’s obvious by what you described that the MIL is challenging you, in her own, somewhat cowardly way. Have you considered just directly addressing her attempts, as they come up?…just kind of squashing them on a case-by-case basis? If you ask her directly what exactly she means when she’s deliberately excluding you, she’ll have a hard time playing it off…especially if you don’t let her off the hook when she tries to act all innocent and confused about what you mean. You don’t even have to come off as angry…just be very direct and no-nonsense with her. For instance, the next time she says something like, “Oh, Cayden-My-Wittle-Wuvbug…you look JUST like me and my great-kissing-sub-intelligent-hairy-backed-Cousin-Millicent!”…you can smile at her while looking directly in her eyes and answer, “Actually, my sweet, half-wit of a MIL, Cayden has quite a bit of MY family’s physical/personality characteristics. Let me tell you a some more about that. NO-NO, Dear…just sit right back down and make yourself comfortable. Laura has some stories to tell!!!” Then, clap your hands together with glee, all the while manically grinning at her like she’s your best friend in the world. Ok…I overstated it a bit, but you probably get the gist of what I’m saying. Instead of withdrawing and clamming up, feeling more and more resentful, why not just deal with her head-on…as pleasantly and reasonably as you can manage…while still portraying a will of steel that she couldn’t HOPE to trample over? If you give in to the urge to use Jeremy and Cayden against her, she’ll be able to villify you, and play the long-suffering martyr. Also, while Jeremy might not seem to mind for a while, or maybe he won’t say anything much to you at all about it…eventually, he might begin to resent you instigating and maintaining so much distance between him and his parents. I’m only guessing at that, since I don’t really know what the nature of his relationship with his parents is. Usually though, even the more casual or emotionally distant parent-child connection instinctually resists being “broken”…especially by someone other than the parent or child him/herself. That’s pretty serious business – I know this personally. It would probably be so much easier on you, (that guilt factor), to just deal with her directly, forcing her to own up to her jackass behavior as it comes up. You’d be surprised how much you can get away with saying in a calm voice, with a (fake), smile on your face. Or, if she really crosses the line, then just don’t bother smiling – and extreme cursing is always appreciated and helpful while your eyes are bugging out of your head and your finger is pointed directly in her face. You could also just phrase it to her like you wrote here, “You don’t seem to respect and acknowledge me. Here’s some examples of what I mean,”….What can the irritating old bag say to that?

16 07 2009
Witchypoo33

P.S…hope I didn’t overstep with what I said; I just don’t want you to wind up feeling like the “bad-guy” if Jeremy starts to get upset/uncomfortable with no contact at all with his parents after a period of time.

Janey…thanks, Sweetie. Also, I hope you have a lot of fun with your family; it sounds like you are. Enjoy and keep us updated as much as you can.

Sweetlara, feeling better? I can’t believe you’ve had 3 bouts of that bug; you poor thing. Take care.

16 07 2009
Clo

Witchy- Removing ourselves from the situation is the ONLY thing that works. Jeremy’s mom is very manipulative, VERY self centered, and she tries to make herself the center of attention, no matter what’s going on. From what I’ve understood from Jeremy, she’s been like this his whole life, and he for the most part, stays away from her. Before we had Cayden? We saw them once every four months maybe? If even that?

If she can’t make anything about her, she convienantly becomes “sick” and then is in somewhat of the spotlight. Like at our wedding. There was a lot of “Where’s Jeremy’s Mom?” rather than “Oh doesn’t the bride look pretty. See how happy the groom is.” It’s just always been like this. And nothing I can say or do changes anything.

I pull them old “Well actually Mary Anne, my family has curls too. My sister looked like she had a perm.” And it was just glossed over. And she’s so… sneaky about everything that she leaves me NO way to call her on anything. Not without looking like a big crazy paranoid bitch. Cause I promise you, if I came out and directly challenged her on why she’s gotta make Cayden “hers” by “claiming” all his traits? She WOULD bat her eyes and stick to her “What are you talking about I’m just proud of my Grandson.” type tricks. She and her brother’s wife got into it REALLY bad, cuz she tried to pull the whole I rule this roost in her brothers house.

I mean I know sometimes it may sound like I’m paranoid and over reacting and just jumping to the cut her off stage. But I’ve been dealing with this a long time, and it doesn’t get better, it gets worse. Jeremy refuses to say anything to her. He claims he doesn’t hear her, and hell, I don’t think he’s lying. I think his way of dealing with his mother is tuning her out, and it works for him. I can’t tune him out.

And it’s more than me throwing a temper tantrum and using her son and grandson against her. I mean honestly Jeremy’s a grown man, and if I cut her off and he still wanted to see her? There’s not a damn thing I can do to stop it. I just don’t see him talking to her if that happens, of his own choice. He moved to AZ for two years, and they only came to see him one time. And it’s not that they don’t have the money. It’s just how she wishes to spend her time.

It’s about her being toxic. I mean let’s start off with the things she does to me: She CONSTANTLY says she knows NOTHING about babies, goes on and on about how it’s been SO long since she had her ONE, and how things have changed and she can’t remember… And then goes on to question what I’m doing. To me, that’s basically saying “I know nothing, but I still know more than you.” She’s constantly questioning what I do, how I do it, am I sure that’s the right way/thing to do? NEVER directs these things towards Jeremy, ALWAYS towards me. And it’s constant. I mean like a stream out of her mouth when she’s over. It really wears me down. Then there’s the fact that she undermines me. Did I tell you guys about the stupid Ice Cream Cake discussion? How Jeremy wanted one and I said no, and she went on to say “Cayden if Daddy wants to get you an ice cream cake, Daddy will get you an ice cream cake.” Is that how it’s going to be when he’s older? She’s going to encourage him to ignore what Mommy says? It should have been a conversation between Jeremy and I, and she butted her big ass right on in. Then there was the wagon discussion, and how she asked me what we planned to get him for his birthday. And I said, a wagon. I’ve spent tons of time researching it, and I found the one I want to get him, and I’m excited to get it, and I want US to be the ones to get it. And then she says she’s gonna go out and buy it for him. And when I ask her why she would do that when we said we were going to get it for him “Oh, I just thought you guys wanted it sooner.” Like me stressing 18 million times that this was going to be his BIG present for his birthday, and how excited I was to but it for him? Or the fact that she tried as hard as she could to give him his easter basket first, so she could be the first one to give him his first basket? I mean it’s ALL a competition to her. Being a Grandparent doesn’t mean you have rights to your Grandchild. He’s mine and Jeremy’s child. Being a Grandparent has it’s perks: You don’t have to do the sleepless nights, but you can get the cuddles, you can spoilt them and give them back to their parents, you don’t have to discipline, potty train, all that. But it also means that unless you are asked for an opinion, you have NO right to raise that child.

But on top of that, let’s look at how her behavior may affect Cayden: Her showing up super late? What if he has a play, and she misses it because her butt “needed” to go eat, or she cancels at the last minute because she’s “sick”? How many times is SHE going to disappoint him because she wants to be the center of attention? She already has George on a leash, he seriously cannot go to a movie with his own son until he’s done – no joke – a list of chores, AND has spent the majority of the day with her doing whatever it is she wants to do. “Grandma can Grandpa play with me?” “Oh gee honey, Grandpa’s got work to do being Grandma’s bitch. Maybe later.”

I mean then there’s not to mention her little racist comments and stories, which, I mean are funny to you and I because we know how ignorant she sounds. But what happens when he overhears her calling black people pigs, and he repeats that. “Grandma says black people are dirty.” A.) What is that teaching him, b.) How is that going to look??? I’d MUCH rather my kid go to school and drop the F bomb than the N bomb, or any other racial comment or slur. And it’s not like she’s outright calling ALL black people dirty. “Well those Somoli’s eat like pigs” and what can I say to her? Why is she a racist? “I’m not a racist, they just don’t eat very nicely.”

It’s the little things that have built into so much. And really this week has really really pissed me off. How the fuck DARE she try to guilt trip us into not seeing her, and then turn around and try to fucking cancel? And honestly, I can’t call her on it. Cause she will stick to her story. “I just meant pencil us in because you’re so busy is all.” I have been waiting for a chance to jump on something she says, and she never says anything out right. It’s all about control. She wanted to cancel this time, because she could, and then she’d order us to see her because it’s been “So long” since she’s seen him. And if we say it was her fault? “Well, it was just my vertigo/my back/my knees/my diabetes/insert lame excuse here.”

The only thing that ever made her tolerable was when we told them that if they kept canceling on us last minute and showing up uber late, we were going to stop seeing them. And maybe she thinks they’re safe now. But all I can tell you is that I don’t have to be around a person like that. And I don’t have to (and won’t) allow my son to be around a person like that. Not to mention, she’s dropped him once, almost dropped him a second time, and blamed BOTH times on him. Didn’t even get out of her chair to make sure he was OK when she dropped him, just sat there going “Oh you’re alright!” really annoyed like when he started to cry. I mean Cayden rolled off the bed the other day. Guess who’s fault it was? Mine. I should have been watching him more closely, he’s a baby, he doesn’t know that hey, when I roll over here, there’s going to be nothing there and ‘m going to fall. She should know better.

So, if this continues, I’m done. Cayden’s done. Jeremy will most likely be done, but of his own choosing. George can come see us, without her. But I become very angry, stressed, annoyed and mean after I see her. I don’t want to be like that.

16 07 2009
lara21167

Cloey I feel for you, that is a hard situation you are in with your MIL. Hopefully it won’t come to you having to refuse to see her or let her see Cayden. Obviously you can’t talk to the woman, so maybe just try to limit time spent with her. And when Cayden is older and see spews her racist crap of course ask her not to in front of him, but you can also explain to Cayden that her views on race are warped he’ll listen to you much more than her. I really feel for her husband he has to live with her!!

Janey I am so glad you are having a great time. Did you get to see Munchkin yet? Bet he will be glad to see you. I’ll check out your pics.

Witchy I’m feeling fine now. Only lasts a couple days on the 2nd and 3rd times. How are you feeling?

16 07 2009
lara21167

I was following this story on a 15 year old girl who was convicted yesterday of solititation to kill her father. Apparently she hated her father and told everyone he beat her although her step mother said that was absolutely not true. Anyway last Halloween she convinced a guy friend to talk to her dad about the abuse. Not sure all the details on that and if the guy went to kill her dad or just talk and brought a knife just in case like he said, but he killed her dad. It was really freaky because his body was laying in an alley, blood everywhere and it was Halloween morning. The person that found him thought it was a Halloween joke at first. So anyway this girl was charged as an adult and again was found guilty (almost had a hung jury) sentencing will be in about 2 months. Oh and the stepmother found writings the girl wrote saying things like “your time is done” and “don’t worry it won’t hurt much” apparently referring to her father. And her friends testified that all she did was talk about wanting her father dead. Very messed up girl. I don’t know if an adult prison is where she needs to be or not. And really why her lawyer didn’t go for an insanity plea. To me she needs seriously mental help. The lawyer was trying to say it’s normal for a teenager to say they want their parents dead. Don’t think so. She is facing life in prison.

16 07 2009
janey

Lara, i havent seen him yet but my mom called me
and told me that he is sick and my mom thinks it emotional.
he keeps telling eveyone that if my mom or his other grandma
dont go get him he’s goin to die. im trying to get in contact with his
mom to see if we can get him this weekend.

16 07 2009
lara21167

Poor little guy, does your dad try to get him much? Can’t his maternal grandparents do something, how long did they have him before she took him back? Seems like they should have some claim. And what about your brother is he still trying to get custody? I know 50 questions lol.

16 07 2009
janey

no one bothered to tell my dad Derek was here in puerto rico. my dad has never seen him. my mom filed for custody and she had court today think. we ade him for like two or three months before his mom came to get him again. but i need to see my baby.

16 07 2009
lara21167

tough situation for a little guy, how old is he now? Btw, I am sooo jealous, saw your pics, it looks beautiful there…

16 07 2009
Clo

Janey, good luck on the custody thing. I hate to tell you this, but I doubt your Mom will get custody. My roommates Mom had her sisters kids since they were born. I never even knew that they weren’t her kids, my roommate always called them her little sisters, and I thought they were. Well, when the oldest of the two (we called her Cheeks) turned 5, her birth Mom found out that she had to enroll her in a Columbus Public School or else they’d stop paying her welfare and she’d get into a whole mess of trouble for collecting welfare for kids she didn’t have. Cheeks was enrolled in a Ross County school, but it had to be Columbus Public where her birth mom lived (my roomies Mom lived in Chillocothe, their birth mom in Columbus.) Anyway, so my roommates Aunt took the kids back. My roommates Mom got a lawyer and went to court, and it took a loooong time to even get a court date and go through everything. Even though my roommates Mom was obviously the best choice (the birth Mom hadn’t had her kids in YEARS, had a drug problem, was living in a one bedroom with her other kid, which was dirty, had a boyfriend in jail that they had speculated had sexually abused Cheeks… My roommates Mom had her own house with a room for the girls, a husband who had a stable, steady job, was a good guy, and the girls wanted to be with my roommates Mom, not their birth mother.) They still awarded custody to the birth Mother. Then the birth Mother started up some other drama (it’s a long, complicated story) which got my roommates Mom put in jail.

The law is just situated to protect families. Which, in some cases is good. I’m all for people making mistakes and then cleaning up their acts, but sometimes I think it gives too many chances, or gives too much benefit to the doubt.

Laura- did they look into at all WHY the daughter hated her Dad so much? I agree, sometimes I got so angry at my Mom, I’d say things like “I wish you were Dead” but I NEVER meant it, and THANK GOD it never happened, you know? Just like there’s a HUGE difference of saying something like “I’m so mad I could kill you” and actually doing it. I just wondered if she was abused, or just unstable. Where was her Mother?

17 07 2009
janey

Derek will be 4 the 2nd of next month.
and. i called his mom. im going to pick him up
saturday and stay with him til the 24th and her mom is comin to pick him up and take him to new york the 28th. but. like i dunno.
her husband was drinking one day and told her cousing that he hated Derek as much as he hated my brother and he cant wait til derek disappears just like my brother did and he said that he was gonna do everything in his power to make sure that happened. he forbids dereks mom from calling Elson [my brother] so derek can talkl to him and she doesnt answer elsons calls when he calls to talk to derek. and i heard the last time she answered one of elsons calls so he could talk to elson, her husband hit her.

17 07 2009
lara21167

That’s a bad situation Janey, maybe Derrick’s mother will do the right thing and leave him in New York when she goes.

Cloey, apparently the girl’s mother didn’t want her, she did take her in after her father’s murder. All they said about the supposed abuse was that there was no evidence. And apparently the girl showed a friend a large bruise on her leg saying her father did it. But I mean you can get a bruise on your leg many ways. They did mention that the father used to drink and was going to kill himself in front of her or something like that. But that was the last time he drank I don’t know how old she was at that time. So I’d say she has mental problems which is my problem with sending her to prison.

17 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Cloey…yeah, the MIL thing. I always wonder how men deal with women like her…someone who just totally has them on a leash. I’d be curious to know what exactly they’re getting out of the arrangement, especially when the woman in question is a walking basketcase of one problem after another, (mental, emotional, and/or physical). Add in the controlling/manipulative factor, and I come up baffled what the appeal could possibly be. I guess if she’s THAT self-centered and impossible to reason with, then maybe distance is the only way you’ll be able to cope with her. I don’t know…maybe she’ll come around if she realizes what the consequences of her undesirable behavior will be.

17 07 2009
monkeyspeaks

Hey guys.

Im sorry I’ve been hidden for so long. It’s a bit hard to talk about things and realistically I don’t want to publish too much publically. especially because one day I may want to write and I may want to use my blog as part of a portfolio (although I better start updating more frequently by then).

That is part of the reason why I am writing this in the comment section. I’ll be able to delete anything I dont want someone to see in the future and I don’t want to have to delete whole posts and erase others words.

I’m battling a very tough depression. When I say tough I really should say debilitating, although my doctors would tell me using that terminology only sets me back and allows me to wallow in what my mind is creating. I’m not saying this sarcastically. That’s just the work they want me doing right now. Or at least what my therapist wants me to do. And dad. And boyfriend. Who thankfully hasn’t given up on me yet.

I’m sure it is hard for him. He watches me as I struggle to do day to day things. L onliness is overpowering. Even when you have so many around who love you. And Depression is that much worse. Not to mention when you have a real sickness (heh….). A chemical imbalance that makes already hard work that much harder. Some of it is out of my control. Some of it I need to work hard to get back into my control. I’m seeking help. More help than I am receiving now – this is under the supervision of my regular therapist, and god willing a psychiatrist out here.

It’s a tough battle. I want to update. I want to write and give you all something to enjoy. Unfortuantely that is hard. Honestly? This may turn into one of my “tasks” or “projects,” who knows. I know they will want me to get on a routine. To find things to do. But its baby steps. Right now, it is LITERALLY wake up, brush teeth, make sure I get out of the door in time (I have almost debilitating anxiety attacks every morning, so even getting out of bed takes a lot of emotional, mental and physical effort on my part), go to work, focus on doing work, dont get fired, its ok if i get fired, go home, shower, take care of dogs, chores, make sure I eat, ask boyfriend how his day was, sweet sweet sleep.

Even a life as simple as that is hard. Im REALLY not looking for pity. Please don’t, really. Im being firm with that. As much as I am told that will hurt not help. I dont know if I am forcing mysel fto write this for you all, or for myself. I have a problem. But I need to work on it if I dont want to dig into a deeper hole and lose everything completely.

I know you are all here for me to talk to. I appreciate that. But this may not be something I can fully articulate yet as much of this is self inflicted and irrational. I WILL try and talk when I can though, when I know more of whats going on. Because right now much of it is just fog and feeling lost and alone.

Thank you guys for sticking in there and waiting out the posts. I hope you continue to use this space as a space to converse and enjoy yourselves. I can only promise to write as soon as I am well enough too. I hope that is much sooner than later.

17 07 2009
lara21167

Rowdy, hope you feel better soon. Of course don’t worry about posting until you feel like it. I know that fogginess and alone feeling too well. The funny thing is I never realized it was depression until I got treatment for aniexty. Just do what you need to and hang in there.

17 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Of course, Goldie…you just take care of yourself and don’t worry about anything else. We’re fine just hanging out here…visiting, bitching, sharing. All those things. Remember that we really, really care about you, and want you to feel better. I can understand why you don’t want pity…that doesn’t really accomplish anything toward getting better. We ARE here if you feel the need to reconnect with understanding friends, though, Sweetie. *BIG HUG*.

17 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Janey…what kind of a mean, nasy asshole talks about an innocent baby like that, and won’t even allow him to talk to his own father? That’s shockingly mean and sadistic. Is your brother, Elson, really upset and worried about his little son? Poor Derek…he needs to be kept away from that whole environment. Also, does his mother seem to care at all that her stupid-ass husband treats her poor baby like that? I just don’t understand some people. Those threats that sick bastard made about Derek need to be documented, and reported to CPS, and whatever court your mother is going through to try and gain custody. That could be a trajedy just waiting to happen, Janey.

17 07 2009
Witchypoo33

supposed to read, “nasty” asshole…

17 07 2009
Witchypoo33

sheeeeeezzzz….supposed to read, “tragedy”. I still feel like crap today, and my mental processes are on slowwwwww-mo; I feel really air-headed.

18 07 2009
Clo

Row-dizzle, you know I’m there for you. Again, I’m the queen of not knowing what to say, but you need an ear… Or an eye (to read what you have to say.) I’m here.

Witchy- I’m sorry you’re feeling like crap again. I hope you feel better soon.

These next couple days are going to be busy, so I may not be around. Tomorrow we’re supposed to go to this reptile show, and then we may be hitting up some stores or the mall to get some stuff for the toga party we’re going too later (so excited!) Then Sunday I’m picking up my goddaughters and taking then to Cincinatti (which, keep us in your thoughts… Cinci has been known to be a little racial, and it’ll be me, Jeremy, and Chelsea, who are white, and Gesapah who’s black, so I hope we don’t get hassled.

18 07 2009
Clo

So, I should be sleeping (I got up at 6:30 AM, it’s now 3 AM, and I’m supposed to be functional tomorrow. Whoops. I’m having MAJOR issues sleeping lately. I may go into the doctor now that Cayden’s for the most part sleeping through the night and seeing about getting back on a sleeping pill. Anyway, I digress.) BUT, OK. Remember my friend Brook with the black racist boyfriend Jay? Well. They got engaged. Sorta. I was talking to her tonight online (finally I haven’t been able to get ahold of her for like, weeks.) And we start doing what girls do, and start planning the fun things of a wedding (looking at dresses, cakes, favors, ect.)

Well, she had said she wanted a December wedding. Which, I thought was a little soon, but whatever. He was finally giving her a wedding, when at first they had both said they wanted to just get married ASAP (which I know she didn’t want.) Anyway, I think the whole reason he proposed to her is because my MIL while they were here asked me (not in front of them, but I told Brook about it) If I ever thought they were going to get married. And Jay knows she’s racist so I think he had to prove something to her (they were semi joking about getting married while they were here. I think they would have but they didn’t have the paperwork you need to marry out of state.) Anyway, then all of a sudden she says “I don’t think we’re gonna have a December wedding” Which, I was kinda glad about, cuz it’s relatively soon, and you know that’s right around Christmas, money is tight and I wanted to be there for her… But I asked why. I guess Jay is pitching a fit (and those were her exact words.) Because he didn’t officially ask her yet. But she said she was confused, because he said he thought it was time for them to get married (how romantic. Not.) And then showed her his myspace message which said “I’m thinking about popping that question.” So she still didn’t think anything of it, but then he asked her why she didn’t announce it on her myspace/facebook. So she did, thinking that meant they were engaged, and now he’s mad and saying “here you are planning all this stuff and I haven’t even officially asked you yet!”

She says that now instead of coming up here in September, they’re going to Kansas City in October, and he has something special planned. But it’s just such bull to me. He plans all this trips “for her” yet crams it full of all the stuff he wants to do (like when they came to see us? TWO MLB games. She hates baseball!) Then they ran out of money and couldn’t go anywhere with us or do anything, and even cut their trip short a day. It was supposed to be HER birthday trip! The reason they’re going to Kansas City? to see the cowboys play! And he’s probably going to squeeze in the proposal to make it about her.

He just drives me nuts, and I hope they don’t end up getting married.

18 07 2009
janey

rowdy, i hope you feel better soon.
i really do. i know some people hate it when other people say i know how you feel, but i really do know how you feel.

Witchy, Lara, i have him.!
my little monkey man.!
i missed him so much. he saw me and he jumped on me and gave me a hundred kisses. and then i introduced him to my dad and told derek that that was grandpa.
im SO excited. i’ll have pics up soon

18 07 2009
lara21167

Ahhh, bet he is sooo glad to see you Janey.

Cloey I always wanted to go to or have a toga party, too late now or I’d invite myself lol. Don’t know what to tell you about Brooke except hopefully she’ll see her guy for what he is before it’s too late.

Witchy, hope you feel better soon.

18 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Thanks, Ladies. Today I feel a little more human; it would be nice to think I’m on the upswing, now, so we’ll see.

Janey, I’m so glad for you and the little sweetie. I’ll bet he’s beyond happy to be with someone who loves him so much, and treats him so well. Enjoy!

Cloey…I always wonder what one partner sees in another who is really self-ivolved, contentious, controlling, selfish, whatever the case may be. I mean, everyone exhibits certain undesirable traits sometimes…it’s just human nature to be an ass once-in-awhile. But ONCE-IN-AWHILE is the key phrase. That guy of Brooke’s sounds like an ass all around. I wonder what she gets out of the arrangement? Maybe they’ll put off getting married long enough for her to start having second thoughts. He does sound self-absorbed. I think lots of guys tend to think their relationships revolve around them – especially if the woman in question is really easy-going and accepting of crappy behavior. Plenty of guys will ride all over you, if given the chance…there’s plenty of women like that, too. Unfortunately, for every really nice person out there, there’s a few more not-as-nice people very willing to take advantage of the sweet-natured one. Why do humans have to be so screwed up?

18 07 2009
Clo

Janey- I’m sorry if this sounds really harsh, but I have to say it. I doubt you know how Rowdy feels.

Thats not a dig, it’s not an insult, it’s just simply the truth. First, there’s a lot of things going on in her life that you don’t know about. Secondly, even if you suffer from depression, bi-polar, whatever, two people often experience very different things. I’m not saying one’s worse or one better, but you can never know how one person feels unless you ARE that person. It’s like a rollar coaster. My husband and I can go on the same ride, the same time, sit in the same place, but have two totally different experiences. He thinks it’s fun, I’m terrfied shitless. And, I mean not saying that ANYONE thinks depressions fun. Just that two people can go through the same exact thing and experience things differently.

Sorry, just had to say it.

19 07 2009
Clo

Laura- Toga party was awesome. I drank a little too much though, which I’m kinda not so happy about. .My brain feels all fuzz and out of whack. It was a housewarming party, m friend just bought her first house and it’s gorgeous. I’m super jealous, but happy for her. They say they want to do a themed party once a summer. I’d like to see it happen more often (I’d love to throw parties if we onl had the space) But, I think their concern was money. Which, can’t blame ’em.

Witchy- Yeah, I dunno what she gets outta him. And I mean, she’s bigger, but SUPER pretty, and gets hit on ALL the time, so it’s not like a “I can’t get anyone else” thing. I dunno. I’m at the point where I dunno anymore if it’s worth it to be her friend. I love her to death, but the old her. Now she doesn’t call, she barely emails, and she hardly ever texts. And then she complains about how her friend snever do that. And I’m like, I call you all the time and you don’t answer, or return calls.

I’m glad you’re feeling better. It’s bed and Ikea for me.

19 07 2009
janey

sooooo. last night we went to a lake and Derek had so much fun.!
he’s so adorable. but now he only seems to be speaking spanish even tho
he still understands english. i just dont want him to forget either language.
my stepmom was aking him questions last night and im soooo mad at his mom. like. i wanna find the biggest knife and just fuckin stick it into her slowly and then cut her up into little pieces and just fuckin burn her.
im sorry. i had to get it out. this is how the conversation between him and my step mom went.

Ada: Hey Derek, hows mommy.?
Derek: i dont like her.
Ada: why not.?
Derek: she’s mean.
Ada: what does she do to you.?
Derek; she hits me.
Ada: my legs.
ada: why.?
Derek: cause i wont eat. and the baby hits me. when i hit her back. Mommy hits me hard.

i wanna kill her. Derek is SO afraid of the dark. you guys wanna know why.?
cause when she says its time for bed, she puts him in his room turns off all the lights and wont let him come out. poor by just lies there and cries until he falls asleep. i had to wait until he fell asleep so i could turn the light off last night.

19 07 2009
lara21167

Janey like Witchy said write everything down that he tells you, your mom can use that in court. It’s a tough situation, but now maybe your dad and step mom can keep an eye on him.

Cloey, do you think Brookes man abuses her? Maybe not yet but it sounds like the typical cutting her off from friends thing that abusers do. I picked up a book at the laundry mat, people drop books off there they are done reading. It’s called”Women out of Control” It’s about true women that have assaulted and even killed boyfriends and husbands. The first one is about Loreana Bobbitt, even has a pic of her hubby’s severed penis. God did that guy ever deserve what she did. He was horribly abusive, nobody would help her. He raped her repeatedly even forced anal sex on her. And she just lost it after being raped again by him, she wanted a divorce and he had agreed but told her he’d stalk her and rape her anytime he wanted. She just kept thinking about that, grabbed a knife and off it came!! She was in such a state she grabbed her purse and drove off knife in one hand penis in the other. When she realized what she had in her hand she threw it out the window. That’s as far as I’ve gotten so far.

19 07 2009
janey

i can tell you what happenes in the rest of the book. i find it quite amussing. hehe =]. sooo. and about derek. yes. i have started journaling what he tells me. tha bad thing is i have to give him back to his mom on tuesday. i really hate her.

and. as if these probelms werent enough. im 5 days late.and. ive like. never been late before. and its not like i can say. hey dad, can you take me to get a pregnancy test.? im pretty sure my head will the floor before i finish the sentence. like. i can get around my mom. she’s easy. my dad.? not so much. it used to be easy. but my step sisters moved in and now he’s likle. dective dad. grrr. and. stephon and i are probably gonna break up soon anyways. he’s mad at me because i came here and he thinks im not gonna come back home and he hasnt called me since i got here and everytime i call he doesnt answer and i had to text him to tell him i think im pregnant and he textd back “Ok” and that was it. that was the end of it.

19 07 2009
janey

i just got derek out of the pool and gave him a bath and now he’s down for his nap. and. that means i can take one too since i couldnt sleep last night

20 07 2009
Clo

Witchy and Laura, can you email me asap? I’ve seen to have lost your email addresses.

20 07 2009
Clo

And Janey, I’m sorry, I don’t feel the least bit bad about you stressing because your late. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you aren’t mature enough to talk to your parents about sex, then you aren’t mature enough to be having sex. Period. There are no if’s and’s or buts. There are consequences to having sex, and a pregnancy is one of them, and everyone (and I know you know too) knows that the only 100% fool proof way not to get pregnant or not to have a STD is to just not have sex.

So if you’re grown enough to have sex, man up. Tell your dad. Get tested. And next time, I’d remember this and wait.

20 07 2009
janey

yes yes i know – you said that already. and i know youre right
but. that is how i can get away from home and away from my mom
and all the shit. thats all. just a get away. when i need to get away i call steph and we get drunk and high and have sex. i know its bad. very bad. my therapist says that i should keep writing instead. guess what.? im running out of things to write and when i do wite i just get angrier and then. just. the same shit happens all over again.

wanna know the real reason im here.?
my therapist told my mom im suicidal and mommy dearest said
that she had to work and couldnt stay home to babysit me to make sure i behave my self and she says she cant hide all the sharp objects away so she called my dad. and didnt tell him what was goin on with me. she just said. your daughter misses you. she hasnt seen you in two years. im sending her to you until school starts. and you know it got worse. when my dad saw me at the airport before i got a hug or an baby i missed you i got a “Damn.! you got fat” and when i got home. and saw the rest of my family. those were there first words too. before the hugs. before the i missed you’s. i miss Mae and i miss juicy and i wanna go home. but im stuck in this little island until school starts. so. i will keep getting away the only way i know how.

20 07 2009
Clo

Here’s the thing Janey, you’re hard to believe sometimes. I mean we’ve been over the lying thing, and then of course when you lie it makes people doubt you sometimes, and it’s like. It’s ALWAYS something with you. There’s ALWAYS something going on. And sometimes it’s shit that’s really hard to believe. Especially when it only seems to pop up when you don’t like what someone has to say.

It’s also hard to believe in one breath you talk about how mature you are, and in the next breath you say “well, I get angry so I go out get, drunk, get high, and have sex.” That? Is not mature. At all. And if all your therapist suggest is that you write? Then in my opinion, you have a horrible therapist and should get a new one. I also find it hard to believe that if your therapist REALLY thinks you’re suicidal, that you’re not in a hospital under suicide watch.

And then the whole Derrick thing has REALLY bothered me. I mean, I kinda buy the you’re depressed thing. I do. I just think you need better help then whatever you’re getting. But the Derrick thing I just don’t buy. It seems like, to me, all of a sudden your Mom decided she wanted custody and BOOM! She got a court date and then you’re brining him home? It just doesn’t happen like that.

I mean, I get that it sounds like I’m being really harsh. And maybe I am. But I’m just kinda pissed. I can’t figure out if I blame you or not, I mean part of it isn’t your fault. You don’t know what’s going on with Rowdy, and it’s not my place to tell you, and you’re also just SO young. But part of me DOES want to blame you. I don’t feel sorry for you. I don’t. And I know your comeback might be, I’m not asking you too, but it kinda sounds like you are. If you are pregnant, there’s nobody to blame but yourself. Yeah, I get it, you’re depressed. I’ve been there, done that, and I’m not going to tell you I know what you’re going through, because I don’t, but what I do know is you cannot blame depression for things wrong in your life. Yeah, it makes things more difficult, but it doesn’t make you go out, get high, get drunk, have sex, cut yourself, ect. YOU make those choices, as coping mechanisms. And if you’re sitting here and saying you KNOW it’s wrong? All you really have to do is make the choice to NOT do it, to find another way to cope. And if you can’t figure another coping way out, then you need to WORK with your therapist. Writing isn’t working, I need more help. And sometime you’re just going to have to get over what people say and do to you. My Mom works ALL the time too. It was VERY rare to EVER hear my Mom say “I’m proud of you” If I EVER heard it. She did the SAME thing your Mom does for you: Buys me things. One day you just got to accept that that’s how your Mom expresses her love. It’s most likely not going to change, so you need to change yourself and let it go. And I mean, when I saw my Dad’s family, who I haven’t seen in years, I didn’t even get introduced AS family.

Life? Sometimes sucks. Sometimes people say mean shit, even if they are family. Sometimes people act like they don’t care, or don’t care. Sometimes they don’t know how to deal with things. I mean I also find it hard to believe that if you’re suicidal, your mom would send you to your Dad without a word. And even if she did, what’s stopping YOU from telling him? You have a mouth, USE IT. People CAN’T help you if you don’t let them know you need help, and if you don’t WANT help? Then STOP complaining about it.

Again, I’m sorry for being harsh, but it’s like. It’s hard to believe some of the shit you say. And I’m getting really angry, because I KNOW what Rowdy is going through. And this is her blog, and I wonder if I’m doubting you, if she is. And how that makes her feel? It’s like you already lied about a pregnancy and a miscarriage, what happens if you’re lying again? And I mean, like before, when Rowdy said she felt like by lying about your miscarriage, you were kinda poking at and insulting everyone that HAD a miscarriage. Pregnancy scares aren’t a joke, they’re not funny, and some people have dealt with them and more, and if you’re just using it in some weird way to get attention, it pisses me off.

I don’t feel like I’m making sense anymore. But I’m just really pissed off.

20 07 2009
gabberjazz

Wow it looks like I missed alot.hmmmmm
Anyways…..
Rowdy- I hope everything turns around for you and you will be in my thoughts daily….

I hope everyone is feeling better I got a bit of the cold but nothing really to set me back… Nevaeh is doing really well she will be a month on the 26th wow time flies when you are having fun lol.

Janey.
I really believe that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about how we look or what we ware its more about being honest,respectful and truthful. I know I wouldd rather be told all of that because beauty fades and the inner person always has the lasting impression in everyones minds and hearts.

I think you need to start concentrating on making yourself happy and not worring about what everyone else thinks. As for derek, hmmmm I would be taking him to child services and telling them everything I don’t know how the laws work where you are but here in canada all a child has to say is mommy hit me and there would be an investigation started asap…. I also know here in canada anyone can make an application for custody of a child doesn’t mean the courts will take it in consideration. if your mom has a court date why is the child allowed out of where she is? just questions and thoughts to think about.

Clo I can tell you I am very proud of you! you are an amazing mother,and friend only a friend would tell another friend how it is no matter what . I think its awesome that you are willing to do that for someone it shows that you have a caring heart even though the person might not like what is being said and I know you were pissed at the time but hmmm I think thats the best time to air it all out.

well its 11:30 pm baby is fed time to hit the hay night ladies…..

20 07 2009
Clo

Thanks Gabber, but I still don’t feel like I articulated myself very well.

All I’m trying to say is this: At some point, you have to stop looking at what happened to you, what others do to you, how others treat you, and start looking at yourself. You cannot control what others do. You cannot control the events and things that will happen to you. You can control how you respond to it.

People have crappy mothers, crappy fathers, crappy families in general. Some people don’t have families at all. Some people have been beaten and abused and raped and left for dead. People have had horrible, horrific things happen to them. But I’m not going to sit here and tell you that someone has it worse. It’s true, of course. For every bad situation any of us have been in, there’s someone out in the world who has it worse. It’s not a pissing contest, to see who has the worst life. It’s not bragging rights. And it’s not going to make anyone feel any better when you say “Well hey, look at this little orphan boy in Africa who has no parents, no place to live, nothing to eat, no medicine to cure him of his disease.” I mean, sucks for that kid, but how the hell does that make YOUR situation any better? It doesn’t. Someone’s molehill may be someone else’s mountain, just like your mountain may be someone else’s molehill. It doesn’t matter, because it’s STILL a mountain to you. So I won’t say someone else has it worse. It won’t matter to you.

But what I can say is, it’s not your Mother’s job to take off from work to baby-sit you. It’s your depression, your life, YOU’RE the only one who can take control, and do that work. If something ISN’T working, it’s YOUR job to speak up and say so. And if whoever isn’t listening to you and fixing the problem, it’s YOUR job to find someone who will. Nobody knows what it’s like to be you. Nobody knows what you’re going through, nobody knows how you feel. It sounds totally emo and self pitying, but it’s true. It’s like, if you have a broken arm, and you go to the doctor and don’t tell them where it hurts, how are they supposed to fix it? And if they give you, say, a band-aid for it, you’re the one who’s supposed to say, hey, this isn’t right.

But I just once again doubt the whole thing. It’s my understanding that when a therapist thinks suicide, it’s a mandatory 72 hours under observation. And it’s like, you went from “Oh, I only had sex with Stefon once and felt bad about it and then broke up with him because I didn’t want to have sex anymore and he did.” to “Oh, I get high and drunk and fuck.” And, I mean, as I recall not to long ago (And I could very well be wrong on this, because I’m not going to go look it up.) You said before that you’re not a huge drinker/partier and that you’d rather just stay home and read?

And this whole thing with the getting sent off to your Dad’s because of depression. You seems to share a LOT with us, and I just find it hard to believe you wouldn’t have spilled this earlier. And yeah, I mean, I get it. Maybe you don’t tell us everything or whatever, but then it’s like. When you write your little dark poems and Laura and Witchy ask if you’re depressed “Oh no, I’m happy, I just like to write about stuff like that.”

And again, maybe you’re lying because you’re embarassed or whatever. I don’t know anymore. I already mentioned the Derrick thing. I just don’t buy it. Even if they WERE to take away custody, it’s my understanding (and I’ve worked with A LOT of children that have been taken away from parents.) that they try as hard as they can to keep the family close. So while I also doubt the time frame this happened in, I also doubt that with family that lives closer to his mother, they would pick your Mom, who doesn’t even live where she does.

I’m just feeling extremely protective over Rowdy. And again, as she said when the whole other lying incident came out, when you lie about certain things, it makes other people feel like you’re making a mockery out of what they’re really going through, what they’ve been through. And right now? Rowdy’s going through a really rough time. You’ll notice she’s not online, chatting about getting her daddy to buy her a belly button ring. Or going to the pool. Or going to the beach. She’s not even weighing in on this conversation. Because she physically can’t.

And again. I don’t know you girls in real life. But sometimes, I feel like I do. Sometimes I feel like we’re all really close friends, and sometimes I wish I could call you guys up and we could have a cookout in someone’s backyard and drink fruity girl drinks and sit up all night talking. I care about you. I care about your kids, and your husbands and your families. And I mean, I hope that doesn’t sound stalkerish. But when I hear about someone I care about going through as hard as a time as Rowdy is, and then hear someone else pick it up and use it as a shield to deflect behavior that they KNOW is wrong but are to immature to stand up and be like “I’m not handling this in the right way. I made a mistake, I messed up. I’m going to fix it and do things differently.” and instead is going “I know it’s wrong, but my depression made me do it. It’s not my fault”?

It makes me very angry.

20 07 2009
janey

First of all the thing with my nephew is totally true.
i would NEVER lie about anything that had to do with him.
if you havent noticed i dont talk about anything as much as i talk about him.
that little boy.? is my LIFE. so. as to that, and i REALLY dont mean to be rude, but when it comes to him, i really dont care what you think.

and NO one is saying that im blaming my depression for what im doin.
i am completely aware that what im doin is wrong. but you know what.? its fun. and thats what i need. fun. and frankly, im at the point where i just dont give a shit. and for your info, i was in the hospital. for a week. it sucked ass. and mom.? she didnt want to see me. and she wouldnt let anybody else come see me. so. she said she was too mad at me for cutting myself.

and by the way mom has been working on this thing with derek forver. and she didnt want him to come to puerto rico and i told her that Cheska was his mom and she couldnt just hide derek away for ever. but i didnt understand WHY she was doing it and you know what.? she listened to me and now i have to listen to him cry when he wakes up and wants to go to the bathroom at night and the room is dark.

im not asking you to feel sorry for me, im not. and im not even askin you to care. im just letting it out. and to tell you why i dont WANT to tell my dad.?
unlike my mom he;s the one always telling me to keep goin in school how he’s so proud to have a little girl thats so smart how he cant wait to go to my college graduation. all the shit mom doesnt say. and he said, he would be really disappointed if i fucked up like my brother and didnt finish high school cause he had a kid. and im tired of bein of everyone’s fuck up list. i dont want to disappoint my dad.

and. i never said that i didnt like what you said.
i hope you know that i appreaciate everything you DO say
cause no one in my life tells me shit straight to the point like you
and you dont even know me. so thank you. and. you really ARE a good mom.
i wish derek had one like you. his mom excuse for how she behaves is “well i had him when i was 16 and i really dont know what im doing” hes 4 now and she 20. and she also has another kid. she needs to care of them

20 07 2009
janey

clo i never said anything aboy rowdy but i hoped she felt better.
im sorry if you mistook that for something else, like i was making fun of her.
i really wasnt. if my being here again is a problem for her, or for you then all you have to do is say so and i’ll stop commenting. i believe i told you guys if it got awkward and you didnt want me here after what happened i would come anymore. offer is still up

20 07 2009
janey

supposed to say “wouldnt”

20 07 2009
lara21167

Janey Lou (I’ve been wanting to call you Janey Lou for some reason lol) There are 2 things I want to say. First, I want you to do me a favor, I want you to go to the bookstore and buy Rhonda Bittens book “Fearless Living” I’ve mentioned this book before and I think it will help you learn to deal with situations that come up in your life. Life is not easy for anyone, and my sister always says that God, or the universe whatever you believe puts us in situations that are similiar until we learn what it is we are supposed to learn from them. But we as individuals must figure out what it is.

Second, Drinking, getting high, having sex. Yes been there, done that have a T shirt. My reasons were needing to feel wanted, loved, and just fit in. I was extremely shy in High School, first time I got drunk, instant popularity. As you grow up you will realize how dumb that is. And having fun, sure it’s fun, but you can have just as much fun without the booze, drugs, and sex. Honest!! Just be yourself and enjoy life. No matter what is thrown your way.

Let me know if you find that book, I really would like you to read it.

20 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Yeah, the problem with partying and screwing your problems away for a night of fun is that the problems are still with you in the am…and, if you’re not careful, some new problems could arise out of your “night of fun”. I’ve done all that, too…though I was a few years older than you, Janey, (college-age). While I was being slightly self-destructive, I KNEW I wasn’t doing anything constructive, just putting off dealing with what I was upset, or unsettled, about. I’ve always felt like you have genuine, strong feelings of love for your little Derrick, Janey. The best thing you can do for him is to keep yourself on an even keel, and not do anything to yourself that will make it impossible for you to reach out to him. If you can’t stay somewhat positive and healthy for yourself right now, maybe you’ll have the incentive to do so by thinking about your little sweeheart, Derrick. If you get all screwed up, how are you going to be there for HIM? Sometimes it’s thinking about the people in our lives who we love so much that keeps us on the right path. You have the power to heal yourself and remain steady for Derrick. Stick to the honesty policy, and work toward positive growth. It’s really hard sometimes, but certainly an attainable goal, Janey.

20 07 2009
janey

i dont know if they sell english books in the bookstore here but i will look for it when i get home

20 07 2009
Clo

I just don’t buy it. I don’t. I mean you always said before that you weren’t lying and telling the truth and all that. And then you got caught, red handed, and you finally ‘fessed up. I mean yeah you seem pretty serious about him. But I would think one would be pretty serious about being pregnant, and then having a miscarriage. And you weren’t. I can’t catch you red handed in this. I can’t go through court documents or anything like that. But because you DO talk about Derrick so much, I kinda figured you would have mentioned by now that your Mom was fighting for, or trying to get custody. Something. But no, nothing. It all just randomly popped up. I don’t buy it. And that’s OK. There’s no reason to argue about something that either way, we can’t really prove.

And, you ARE using your depression as an excuse. That’s the WHOLE reason you said what you said when I said if you were pregnant it was your fault. And you’re saying it now when you’re saying “Well, I’m sorry I’m doing things I know is wrong, but I’m depressed and just want to have fun.”

Really? Getting high and drinking is fun? Grow up. Cuz obviously it’s not so fun now when you’re thinking you might be pregnant. It’s not gonna be so much if you actually ARE pregnant. It’s not going to be so fun when you have to tell your Mom or Dad. It’s not going to be so fun when you have to make a choice between abortion, keeping the baby, or giving it up for adoption. Or, if you miscarriage “again”. Then you’re going to want to complain about it, saying it’s making you more depressed. But it’s your own fault you got like that. Because you’re NOT coping with things right, and you KNOW that. But you’re going to do it anyway, because you’re depressed, and just want to have fun. Sure as hell sounds like an excuse to me.

And it’s like, when the hell were you in the hospital? When you were still commenting on the blog every day? I don’t remember you being gone for a week. And please don’t insult me by saying you go on through your phone, or that they had computers. It doesn’t happen like that. And as for your Mom coming to see you? She has EVERY right to be mad at you for what you’re doing. It’s selfish. Incredibly selfish. My Mom didn’t want to come see me in the hospital. My Mom yelled at me multiple times while I was in there. She was hurt. She was hurt that here I was, not thinking of anyone else but myself when I was cutting and trying to kill myself. You know what trying to kill yourself says to other people? I don’t love you enough to stick around, I don’t love you enough to fight this. You can think she’s mad because she just doesn’t care, or she’d rather be working, or she just didn’t want to take the time to see you. You may be right. But you could also be wrong. And she has every right to be pissed off about it. And as for anyone else coming to see you? If you’re in the hospital, the only people allowed to see you is family.

And why would you tell your Dad? Because you need help. And if you wanted a way out, if you really wanted to have fun and be happy, I think you’d try anything to BE better, which means telling people so they can get you the help you need. Maybe your Dad would have been more sensitive at the airport if he knew why you were there. But he doesn’t know, you didn’t tell him, and you can’t blame him for not knowing.

And again, I just have to question the timing of everything popping up. It seems odd that you haven’t mentioned ANYTHING about pretty much ANY of this, being hospitalized, being sent to Puerto Rico for being suicidal (and if you WERE hospitalized, I highly doubt they would have allowed that to happen without arranging for a therapist there for you. ANd if you ARE seeing one there, how come your Dad doesn’t know what’s going on? It seems to me like he’d question it, and at least know SOMETHING. I know any time I’ve known someone to leave a hospital, one of the requirements is they make a safety plan, and all of them have a therapist as being number one.) your mom trying to get custody of Derrick… Nothing was mentioned at ALL, not even a hint, not a clue, nothing. So you have to kinda excuse me for being like what the fuck is going on and questioning things.

And here’s the thing about Rowdy. You didn’t have to SAY anything, you’re inferring PLENTY with your actions. Like saying you know “exactly” how she feels? She can’t get out of BED in the morning. You’re going to the beach, going to the pool, getting high and drunk and banging because it’s “fun”. I mean besides the fact that I don’t think you should EVER tell anyone you know exactly how it feels, because it’s impossible, it’s a pretty big insult to tell someone who is losing her mind and life piece by piece that you know how you feel, and then in the next breath say “Oh I’m gonna go do this today and that today, and oh it’s so much fun!”

And it also ticks me off that you say you’re mature and want to be treated like an adult and you’re so wise beyond your years and this that and the other, but they you act like such a child. Drinking, getting high, having sex, and then freaking out about telling your Dad you may be pregnant? What did you think was going to happen? Did you ever think about what would happen? I can only assume so since you say you know it was wrong? You’re almost “lucky” in a way, that all this might be is a pregnancy. Because it could be something so much worse. A rape, getting killed, sleeping with strangers, or hell, even Stefon, and getting a STD that might be with you for the REST of your life????

What you need is to grow up and get some SERIOUS help.

20 07 2009
janey

last we of may first two days of june. i can scan all the paperwork and email it to you if you’d like. then you’d have the prove you want. would that make you happy.?

20 07 2009
janey

supposed to say last WEEK.
and. i did so tell you guys my mom was tryin to get custody of derek.

20 07 2009
monkeyspeaks

Heather, stop using the term depressed. You aren’t depressed. Sorry. You’re acting out. You are being a teenager. You are rolling around in teenaged angst. You’re fucking jumping loops through it if anything. You’re enjoying a dramatic tale. Whether some, none or all of it is true, I don’t know. But I do know you aren’t “Depressed.”

Depression is a disease Heather. It’s not a state of emotion. Its not just how someone feels. You don’t wake up and say, oh man, I can’t see my boyfriend anymore, I’m like SOOOO depressed. I am a few days late. I am like, SOOOO depressed.

No. You are sad you can’t see your boyfriend. Doesn’t make you a sad person. You are scared because you may be late. You aren’t depressed. And If you think abortion is simple? Try again. Its painful. Emotionally and physically. It’s scary. And its not something to joke about. It takes a toll on you. It WEARS YOU OUT. In every way imaginable. And im not doing it justice. It’s a horrible experience.

And you don’t “get drunk and high and fuck” because you are depressed. Holy crap Heather, how many books have you read that have told you that’s what you do. No, that is what you do when you are going through teenage rebellion. Everyone in here who has been mad at their parents and ran out and partied to assert your independence raise your hand! More people that you can ever count. That is not depression. Does alcohol abuse and drugs come into play with someone who is already depressed? Yes. But not because you’re out partying with your friends. And if you have a drinking problem at this age you don’t hide in PR. You get help.

Do you want to know depression? It’s a chemical imbalance in your head. It makes it impossible to rationalize or be aware of the reality around you. It comes out in many ways. Sometimes people obsess over a thought – this is often times a catalyst. Sometimes there is a fear that leads to overwhelming panic attacks. “Bad things happen when I leave my apartment, better to stay here.” That’s called agrophobia. Do you know how FUCKING HARD it is to try and prevent that from happening? No you don’t. Because you’re off on a beach taking picture for myspace and continuing to worry about your social status with your boyfriend.

You know what my boyfriend said when I told him I was depressed? Let’s get you help. No more drinking, no smoking, no nothing. We focus on getting you better. Let’s get you a doctor. That one wasn’t working? Lets get you another doctor.

Depression is a massive blanket that engulfs you and the more you struggle to get out the tighter it gets. Going out, anywhere, is a struggle. You see those commercials “I have to wind myself up just to get out of bed, and then im constantly winding myself up to get through the day.’ That’s pretty close. You work step by step. OK, Brush my teeth. I’ve accomplished that. Shower. Got it. Get out of the door – but I don’t want to – but you have to – ok. Get to work. ACTUALLY work. Go home. DO NOT GET BACK INTO BED.

Do you understand these simple and mundane tasks become harder than rolling a boulder uphill? You don’t. If someone offered me a ticket to peuorto rico right now I’d laugh. I couldn’t go. I have too many RESPONSIBILITIES.

OH and guess what, kiddo, you never told your therapist you were suicidal, did you. Because IF you DID tell her you wanted to die… that you were actively persuing a way of that… they would Baker you. You’d be in a child’s ward faster than you could blink. For 72 hour evaluation. Not the fucking beach.

Don’t say you know what I am going through. You have NO clue what it is like to try to be normal. Depression and Teenage Angst are very different things.

When you get taken to the ER because you haven’t breathed in three days. Normally breathed. When for three straight days you have a panic attack almost every hour over NOTHING beyond the fact that you are no longer in control of calming yourself down. Then MAYBE we’ll talk. Oh, and then when you have to make sure your bills are paid and your dogs are still taken care of and you ahven’t lost your job. Then we’ll talk.

And you know what you do when those things happen to you? YOU TAKE SOME FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEM. You tell your parents you may be pregnant and you deal with the consequences. You come clean with what is going on. You think your parents don’t know? You think they are THAT dumb???? Sorry kid. They may not know minute details but they know whats up. To a degree. And if you cant talk to you arents you find someone you CAN talk to. YOU GROW UP.

So if you want production. We’ll help you. Or they will. Im exhausted now. But I will not have you make light of something that is threatening everything I hold dear to me right now. I would not wish what im going through oN ANYONE. Which is why I can easily say you are NOT going though it and you jhave NO FUCKING CLUE what I am going through.

20 07 2009
monkeyspeaks

Oh and i write too. I have a journal where I outline my emotions for the day. what i did, how doing that event made me feel, why i think i feel the way i feel. my journal isn’t creative writing class. its an outlet to help nderstand the emotions that are coming through me. you write poetry and crap that talks about how depressed you are. you will be. but you aren’t even trying to unstand why you are writing what you are writing. its etiher for attention or self acceptance. And if you want to accept that life sucks then thats your problem. But dont you ever compare your mental well being to mine.

20 07 2009
monkeyspeaks

OH and like Clo said, it’s not your mothers responsibilioty to make you better. She can be a support. same with your dad. but you aren’t willing to do the work.

I need my parents now. Or I think so I do. I call them everyday, begging them to come visit me and they wont. It’s to expensive, or its not ther ight thing. And ya know what, I want to be mad. but i cant be because theya re right. Because i need to get better. I want them here. I want them ehre so FUCKING badly it reduces me to tears if i ever just THINK of mom or dad. I need my parents. But I have to do this on my own. I cant blame them. Your past is your past. When are you going to grow up and take responsibility for your present and future.

I really think you enjoy this.

20 07 2009
Clo

No, you didn’t tell us your mom was trying to get custody. Until you were like “Oh my Mom’s got a court date tomorrow” and then boom “Oh she’s bringing him home” that was the first I’ve ever heard of it.

It’s also not about “making me happy” it’s about me not trusting you, which you can’t even say I don’t have a right not to trust you, because you’ve pulled all of this before.

AND the fucking 28th of June (which is the time you said you were in the hospital) you posted this: i went to the movies with stephon and my cousin and stephs bff Tavian.
we saw Transformers. the movie was so f-ing hottttttt.!!!!

The 29th of June you posted how you sister told your Mom you were having sex

The first of July you wrote about how you were going swimming.

The second of July? You were talking about straightning your hair.

If you were in the god damned hospital, how’d you get online? And you were obviously lying about one thing or the other. Either you didn’t go swimming, go to the movies, all that other stuff, or you weren’t in the hospital. And I’m sorry, I’m just not likely to believe that someone who’s in the hospital on suicide watch would a.) be allowed access to a computer and b.) be sitting there and saying that they’re swimming, or grounded, or going to see trnasformers. What the fuck dude? It’s all right here. If you’re going to be a god damned liar be fucking GOOD at it. You’re adding insult to injury by being a bad liar.

You really do need some help. Like serious help.

20 07 2009
Clo

And, I will correct for Rowdy. When she said Heather, I believe what she really meant was Helen.

20 07 2009
Clo

And, I have to keep going, because I went back to look to see if I missed you mentioning something about Derrick? And look what I found:

im officially done with school lara.
i took my last test today.
i passed three out of the four which means i have to take and pass
the one i failed in august and if i fail it again i take it in january. the point is
to pass it before the end out senior year. i have to keep goin tho to finish a class credit before i go to the college program. im excited. we leave in 12 days.!

im soooo tired tho. im sooo glad its over and i get to sleep.

That was posted on June 23rd. Which means you should have left for that college program by now. What happened to that Janey? I think had it got canceled because of you getting sent to PR, you would have said something. Or did you just forget about that one?

The thing about using multiple lies is that you have to keep them all straight. And you? Suck at it.

There’s one of two things going on here: You are a very bored/lonely little girl, and you’re doing this for shits and giggles, which in that case you need to grow the hell up. Which you need to do anyway. Seriously, you think your Mom is bad because she works a lot? Look at how you treat her. You don’t respect her in the least. “Well, when she says no I just keep asking until she says yes.” Really? But right, you’re supposed to be a mature 16 year old. I’m sure a lot of kids would love a new ipod. I’m sure they’d love the chance to be able to dye their hair whatever. My goddaughter? Has a job. She buys her OWN clothes, and anything else she wants. Sometimes, she buys her own food. Why don’t you stop looking at what you don’t have, and start taking a good long hard look at what you do have, because sometimes you really sound like a spoiled brat.

The other option is, that you are seriously mental in the head to need to keep lying to people. And if you’re not lying, answer me this: How were you in a mental hospital the same days you claim you were going to the pool, at the movies, all that other stuff? How did you have access to getting online?

Or will that suddenly become “none of my business” and you won’t have to prove anything to me like last time?

I think some of these other girls on here feel bad for you. Because you’re young, and you’re obviously damaged and need attention in some way shape or form. But we, don’t have the capacity to help you here. And we don’t even have the capability to be there for you when we can’t tell if what you say is truth or lies. You don’t make any sense, your story doesn’t add up, and this is the second time you pulled this shit.

I really want some answers, and I think above all you owe Rowdy a big apology. I don’t think she wants it, I don’t think it’ll change anything you’ve done, but I do think she deserves one. I highly doubt you’ll actually mean it though. It’s become very clear over and over that the only person you’re in the least bit concerned about it yourself.

I’ve said it before but you have a HELL of a lot of growing up to do.

20 07 2009
gabberjazz

Ok everyone…. I think the point has been given to Janey.. I really think she needs to take sometime away from this blogg and realize what she has done… I think the more everyone gets on her about her lies the more it just not going to faze her. I see this allthe time at work some people tell lies but in their own mind they se it as its really happening. Yes Janey you need to go get some help………. Lying in my mind and thoughts just is not acceptable

20 07 2009
gabberjazz

Clo
I know you want answers but really are you deep down going to believe anything from this point on…. Janey needs to grow up and seek the help but I believe this isn’t helping her. You have every right to be pissed and Rowdy too but Janey telling Rowdy she’s sorry because you think she needs to well its not a true apology just words Janey needs to leave here and think about everything and then comment if she realizes what she has done.. You said this is the second time well hmmm behaviors are hard to change because lying is a learned behavior.

20 07 2009
Clo

I still maintain she owes Rowdy an apology. Like I said I don’t think she’ll mean it, I don’t think Rowdy will want to hear it, but I still think it needs to be said.

And I think she needs to at least man up and SPILL some answers, even if it’s just “Well, I lied”. Last time she got off with just a disappearing act and then came back with a lame ass apology and a promise not to do it anymore. She wants to talk about being mature, maybe somebody needs to hold her accountable for her actions. And the only way to do that is to ask why the fuck would you do this? What is WRONG with you? You may see this as being online and one big joke, but it’s not. It’s sick, it’s sad, and it’s wrong. And maybe I won’t believe what she has to say. It’s a likely chance that I won’t. But it still doesn’t mean that I don’t have the right to some answers. I do, and I want them. I also will not “back off”. I am pissed, I have every right to be pissed, and I will say whatever I want, whenever I want, however the hell I want too. I’m sorry Gabber, you weren’t really around the first time this went down. And it just pisses me off that it’s happening a second time, and she’s using a situation that one of my good friends is going through, and basically turning it into a big fucking joke. That is ridiculous.

It’s like, everyone wants to kinda blow this off it seems to me. Like Oh she’s young, Oh people make mistakes. Oh it’s a learned behavior. There are NO excuses. Yeah. She’s young. We’re all older. I get wanted to fit in. But like I told Laura in an email, it’s not like she lied about getting a puppy because we all had dogs. It’s kind of a big deal. I can even see her lying about her age. We’re all older, so what’s the big deal in claiming I’m only a few years older than what I am? I mean when she did this, she wasn’t thinking that the things we talked about could get us into serious trouble, because we were really conversing with a minor. I get that.

But it’s like, let’s go over what she lied about. The big ones. She’s had an abusive boyfriend, a pregnancy scare that turned into reality, a miscarriage. Those are things we know she’s lied about. and it’s like, they all pop up when other people are going through similar things. I was pregnant with Cayden when she got “pregnant” and had a miscarriage. Then, when her two friends killed themselves, which I still don’t know is real or a lie, that happened right around when my sister’s boyfriend killed himself.

Now all this? Another pregnancy scare when you, Gabber, just gave birth? This whole “I’m depressed” when Rowdy’s going through her own shit? And this abused nephew story right after Laura was talking about her friends son who she thinks was abused? It’s all just really coincidental.

And I’m not saying that none of it’s true. Some of it COULD be true. But that’s what happens when you lie about multiple things. People call into question EVERYTHING you say and do.

I disagree that we should just “let it go” last time that’s what we did. And maybe because we did that, she somehow thought, hey, it didn’t affect them that much, so why does it matter? Or hey, I pretty much got away with it scott free, so what’s the harm in doing it again?

Maybe, what she needs to see is that people are fucking pissed. You don’t treat people like that. I know karma’s a bitch though, and one day you’re gonna get what you give. And maybe you should remember how you treated people, and remember that you earned whatever you got. Good or bad. It always comes back around.

It doesn’t matter to me if she takes a break from this blog or not. If she stays I’ll never believe another word out of her back, and if she leaves I don’t give a damn either. I do know that I want to know WHY you do this, WHY you think it’s OK, and WHY you would lie about something (like being in the hospital on specific dates) that is SO easy to disprove?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Grow up.

20 07 2009
gabberjazz

oh clo

I totally agree with everything you are saying, but and there is a but I know she doesn’t care about the lies and I think she knows everyone is pissed there for she is probably running more lies through her mind trying to cover up these one. you and rowdy have every right to be pissed and to say it to her but I feel it doesn’t matter to her. she has to one up everything…… believe me I think you have every right to be pissed at her. and her age doesn’t matter like in the court system every minor can be treated as an adult if they are doing adult actions…..she needs to grow up!

20 07 2009
janey

dude are you retarted or something.?
i said LAST WEEK OF MAY FIRST TWO DAYS OF JUNE.!
you know what. fuck this. i know what happened. my mom knows wht it is.
im really sorry you dont believe me. but. i cant put a gun to your head and say believe me or ill shoot you. sorry.

20 07 2009
gabberjazz

ok Janey
Now you have really crossed the line you have no right to call people names and I have been really nice about this all, but little girl you need to pull your head out of the stars and take responsibility for your actions sure you say your mom is not around well you have or had 4 wonderful ladies here trying to encourage you to make the right deecisions in life but instead you treated them like shit by lying to them over and over and now that Clo has called you on it you feel like you need to insult them well grow up and get your head out of your ass….

21 07 2009
Clo

First of all, I misread the date.

But I still don’t think you’re telling the truth. I just don’t buy it. And it doesn’t even coincide with what you’re saying anyway, you got sent to PR because you’re therapist says you’re suicidal. WHY aren’t you in the hospital now? And for someone who pretty much tells us every move they make, you think you would have said SOMETHING. But no. You wait. The day after you get out of the hospital you’re back in school? I don’t buy it.

And you STILL haven’t answered me about the other things I’ve brought up. What about when you said you were leaving for that summer college program in 12 days? What happened to that?

You deflect when you don’t have the answers. All I’m saying is when you lie about one thing, it calls into question EVERY thing you say. That’s the consequence of lying. You can’t get mad at me, or any of us, for saying, hey this shit just doesn’t make any freaking sense. And it doesn’t.

21 07 2009
Clo

And dude, do you know what it’s like to actually be retarded or know someone who’s retarded? If you did I highly doubt you’d use that word.

21 07 2009
gabberjazz

hey clo i have a question for you can u email me at
jasper-1212@hotmail.com asap

21 07 2009
Clo

Gabber I emailed, but I’m super tired and think I’m gonna hit the hay. I haven’t been sleeping very well lately, and last night was the worst. I didn’t go to sleep till 5:00 and got up at 8:30 with Cayden. I think it finally did me in and I’m finally going to be able to conk out. However, if I can’t sleep I’ll periodically check email via my phone.

21 07 2009
gabberjazz

sorry i was feeding baby

21 07 2009
gabberjazz

hmmm is there a time difference for PR and where you are Clo…..

21 07 2009
gabberjazz

ya from PR to LA there is a 3 hour time difference Clo if it says here you wrote at 1am hmmmm thats 4am there Is she even in PR to start with….

21 07 2009
janey

yes i am in puerto rico.
pictures on myspace prove that.
the is a one hour difference in puerto rico and new york
during the winter. during the summer there is none. its 12: 54 pm here.

21 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Gabber…I don’t know why you feel compelled to involve yourself in this situation. I don’t see how it concerns you at all. Why don’t you just let Janey and Cloey – and Goldie, (Rowdy), work this out among themselves, however they feel is appropriate. I don’t think they require your assistance to sort things out with Janey; you seem to be enjoying this.

21 07 2009
Clo

There is no working this out, I’m done. I’m done with her, I’m done with the lying. I’m done with everything. It’s bullshit, it’s disrespectful to others, she’s done it once, she’s doing it again. She learned nothing about it from last time, and I’m done. And I mean, maybe she was in the hospital. Maybe she wasn’t. I just don’t buy that she was. I can’t prove it, but I don’t believe it at all. And then there was the school thing. She said in the blog that she was leaving in 12 days for that school thing and then mentioned NOTHING about it. There was NOTHING said about Derrick and then “Oh my Mom’s got a court date” and now “My mom’s got him.” It doesn’t happen like that.

It’s not, everything she said and does is called into question. You can’t blame Gabber from even questioning that she’s in PR, because maybe she isn’t. I mean, I know, I know, there’s pictures. But this day in age, you can photoshop ANYTHING. I mean, it sounds crazy, who would put that much time and effort into things, and I’m not actually saying that she did lie about being in PR, but here’s the thing. When you lie about one thing, then it calls into question EVERYTHING else.

It’s about choices and consequences. And I don’t think she gets that. If you DID choose to have sex, the consequence (even if you are careful) is pregnancy, stds, emotional consequences, ect. If you choose to lie about one thing, it could snowball, and then EVERYTHING you do is called into question. If you get drunk, high, there are other consequences. And you can’t blame it on anything else, depression, your mom, your Dad, your life sucking. YOU make those choices, it’s on YOU. And I’m not saying those aren’t things everyone of us have probably done at one point, I’m just saying that at some point you gotta grow up, look in the mirror and say “it’s my fault. I’m the reason this happened to me.”

And I said it before, I think some people here wanna look at Janey and think, hey, she’s young. Maybe she’s lonely. Maybe she’s got issues. And they want to feel bad for her. I don’t. I mean she IS young, maybe she IS lonely, maybe she DOES have issues. But it doesn’t give you a right, or even an excuse to lie to people. To fuck with their heads, their minds, even their emotions. To not only do it once, but multiple times?

I’ve also said it before. I care about you guys. I care about you, and your husbands, and your children. When you have a problem, I worry. When someone you know is sick, I keep them in my thoughts, and send hope out that they’ll get better. And I don’t even know you. Everything I know is based on what you tell me. I have to make a leap of faith, and trust. In my mind I know nothing about Janey, because I don’t trust that what she tells me is 100% true. Some of it is, I’m sure. But what, is? I have to play the guessing game and say, OK, I think this is true but not this? It’s not fair. I don’t want to do that, and I won’t do that.

21 07 2009
Witchypoo33

I totally get your point about what Janey pulled with the falsehoods, Cloey. I’m not saying anything to dispute or discount in any way the magnitude of what it means to lie on this blog. We only have each other’s word to go on – to form opinions, attachments, friendships, loyalties, etc. I get that not being honest is akin to making a mockery of our time spent together. What I don’t like about Gabber’s involvement is that she’s inserting herself in a situation that doesn’t require her “help”. After first trying to get you to back off and realizing she might have pissed you off, then she backtracks and does a complete turn-around to jumping in and throwing in “well, what about THIS and THAT and is she even in PR” and blah-blah-blah. I get the sense that she’s enjoying the drama, and prefers to contribute to it, rather than letting the people who are actually involved deal with it. I don’t like that kind of Jr. high/highschool bullshit…sticking your nose into something where it doesn’t belong is vaguely insulting, distasteful…I don’t know. It also smacks of bullying to me on her part; I’m pretty sure you have this issue covered…what does Gabber hope to productively add to solve anything? And I also don’t think her likening Janey’s behavior to the hardened criminals she’s used to dealing with has ANY relevence whatsoever; it’s apples and oranges to me, and again…not helpful or productive.

Btw…I also think of you ladies as friends, and I worry about and ponder about your lives as well.

21 07 2009
lara21167

Alright, I wasn’t going to involve myself in this, but I feel I need to clarify Witchy’s response to Gabber. It did seem like everyone ganging up on Janey. Yes she’s lied yes she has issues, and no we don’t know what is true and what isn’t, so no we can’t have that trust with her that we have with each other. But don’t forget that she is a child, acting like a child. And what Witchy was trying to say is that Rowdy has a right to be upset about Janey claiming to be depressed (maybe she is maybe she isn’t) but I do know that alot of teenagers think it is cool to be depressed and NO it is NOT. It is a serious illness and should not be made light of. And yes Rowdy has every right to be upset about that. Cloey you have been there too and have a right to be upset. Hell we all have a right to be upset that our trust was broken. But No we shouldn’t gang up on a child like that. And that is all Witchy was trying to say is leave it to Cloey and Rowdy we don’t all need to gang up on Janey.

21 07 2009
lara21167

Now can we please move on from this, I feel like it’s starting to tear up our little group and I don’t want that. I too care for each one of you.

21 07 2009
Clo

If she’s acting like a child then she has no business in adult’s business.

And I don’t see it as ganging up. I get what Witchy’s saying, the abrupt turn around, and I understand that. But, I don’t agree with you saying we’re “ganging up” If we were ALL to question her, we have every right to do so. It’s not ganging up. She didn’t lie to just me or Rowdy, she lied to all of us. Do Rowdy and I maybe feel a little more personally attacked because we have been through some of the things she may have lied about for real? Maybe. Again, it’s about owning up to your mistakes. I highly doubt any of you would let your children do something they know is wrong, and then going “Oh, well, they’re a child, it’s OK.” You would hold them accountable. They would probably go through some kind of punishment. We can’t spank Janey, or put her in time out or ground her. I think the only thing we can do is ask questions, and ask them to be answered. Which is what we’re doing. And I don’t see anything wrong with that.

Again, I don’t see Janey’s issue of being a child having ANY place in this. If she’s that much of a child, then she has no place being here when we hold adult conversations, which happens a lot. It can’t be BOTH ways. She and WE can’t say, oh well, she’s young but mature, so she can be around, but then turn around and when she messes up say “Oh, well, she’s young.” And it’s also not like she was playing baseball and broke a window. It wasn’t a minor bad call in judgement. It was dileberate. It’s not the first time this has happened. And again, I will NOT dismiss what she did based on her age alone. It got her out of it last time. “Oh, I’m young and lonely and I’m sorry.” I forgave her. But to turn around and do it all over again? Shows that she doesn’t care about is, and that she hasn’t learned anything from what she did the first time around.

I’m sorry, I’m not moving on. And if that means I have to go, it means I have to go. That’s fine. I consider you guys my friends. Not here. She isn’t part of my little group. I know nothing about her.

21 07 2009
lara21167

Cloey I don’t mean to dismiss anything Janey has done. And, sorry Janey I do care about you even if I don’t really know you, but you are right she doesn’t belong in a group of adults who have adult conversations. And I am thinking as a mother of teenagers, I wouldn’t want anyone chewing out my child for doing something wrong like this, that’s my job. But I watch what my daughter does on line or at least try to guess she could get something by me if she really wanted to. But what I’m saying I wouldn’t want Kristy to be a part of a group of adults having adult conversations and if I found out she was lying to them I’d be pissed. And that is what I mean about moving on, unfortunately at this point I don’t think Janey does belong on here, again I am sorry Janey.

21 07 2009
Witchypoo33

No-no, Cloey…you definitely shouldn’t be going anywhere. Uh-uh; I don’t think that should even be on the table. You’re our friend, Goldie is our friend, we, (Sweetlara and I), both know what Janey has been doing is wrong. I have a feeling Janey won’t be back, anyway, after this second time around. I don’t know. But, don’t impulsively run off anyplace, (figuratively speaking). You’d be missed.

21 07 2009
Clo

So. As a distraction to all this, Rowdy has sent me a link to a fictional blog which I think is really good, even better than bedroom blog perhaps. I thought I’d share with you all. http://fifteenmiles.blogspot.com/?zx=fab45a8bda642408

22 07 2009
lara21167

Alright Cloey, I read the first to posts on that blog and am hooked. Now how will I ever get any work done at work???

23 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Yeah…it’s good. Thanks, Cloey and Goldie. Speaking of blogs, I wonder if they’re ever going to do anything with the Joe Hottie blog. That’s kind of a joke now, it’s been so long.

23 07 2009
lara21167

I don’t know Witchy, I was looking forward to whatever they had planned but it looks like it fell through. I don’t know why they can’t get a guy to write a fictional blog, I like the fictional ones better anyway.

23 07 2009
Clo

Heck, or even a girl to write a fictional guy blog.

Sorry I was MIA yesterday, I went to camp and then we went out to dinner. We laid down (we being me, Jeremy, and Cayden) when we got home for a nap, but I passed out and didn’t wake up till this morning. Today they’re taking the camp kids to the zoo, and if it doesn’t rain, we’re gonna tag along.

Cayden is now pulling up in his crib. Which is not fun, lol, because he gets stuck standing and can’t get back down, so we have to go in, lay him down, and then he cries because we’re in there. It’s been an adventure.

23 07 2009
lara21167

I may have mentioned Kristy was only about 1 year old and she was climbing out of her crib and we had to put her in a toddler bed. Bedtime was never the same…

23 07 2009
Clo

Don’t tell me that Laura! He’s not trying to climb out, just standing and playing with the things on his changing table (his changing table is attached to the crib) Though I told Jeremy he now needs to drop the crib down, which he has yet to do.

And Laura, I don’t know if I told you (I know I told Witchy) Gabber will not be back (or so she says). She got upset when Witchy said what she said about Gabber. I dunno if Gabber emailed me to get sympathy, or just to say goodbye or whatever. But I told her that Witchy had every right to say that, that it did look like Gabber was jumping on the bandwagon so to speak, one second telling me to back off Janey, and the next second heading up the witch hunt. I also said that we all had the right to our opinions, and if she felt like Witchy was wrong, she had the right to that opinion and the right to voice it. To which she answered “it’s too much drama for me” (which is hilarious, considering her life.) and said goodbye.

I mean I think it’s funny in the year plus we’ve “known” each other, that there hasn’t really been any fights. I mean there’s been a few incidents, but no real fighting, you know?

I’ve also been wondering if maybe we should post the link to this blog on the cosmo blog again. It’s been awhile and since we’ve recently lost some members, maybe it’s time to recruit a few more? I mean it’s up to you guys, but there were just a few girls on the blog who I really like, and y’all really like so… Throwing it out there…

And ha ha Witchy, maybe your best friend NYCGurl will show up 😉

23 07 2009
lara21167

Guess that’s up to Rowdy, I don’t mind having a few newby’s join us. It’s a shame about Gabber though. But the 4 of us stick together even if we disagree. 🙂 Have you “talked” to Rowdy, I might send her another email. Hope this stuff with Janey didn’t upset her too much.

23 07 2009
lara21167

Btw, I want one of those hottie chef guys on the Cosmo site. The one on the front page with the salad will do…

24 07 2009
Clo

I haven’t heard from her since the other day. But, I haven’t really been online too much since then, yesterday with going to camp and passing out super early, and today going to the zoo with the kids.

I’m horrible at following through with emails too. I’ll think over and over that I should email, and I’ll go in to do it, and then get distracted by something else. So I’ll go email.

24 07 2009
lara21167

That’s the way I am, too into these blogs. I spent pretty much all day yesterday and part of today reading the Utopia one lol.

24 07 2009
Clo

I seriously love that one. It’s my favorite. I’m so happy Rowdy passed it on.

24 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Oooooooooohhh, Cloey…do you think if I click my ruby-red slippers together with my eyes shut tight, chanting, “There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!” my bosom-buddy, NYC will materialize before my very eyes?!!! I can only hope. I do think that woman/girl/whatever dissects what we say, and answers in the complete opposite…AND she seems to enjoy trying to elicit a response…vaguely annoying, (especially if I’m kind of in a mood to be pissy, anyway, you know?) Anyhoo…sure: I don’t mind new commenters at all. I think Delorpompom is hilarious, as is Robotesque…Katie is nice, and Stephanie…oh yeah: Sahm, (why can’t I remember the rest of her name?), is always fun, and so is Piratebooty, (why do I always think, “Butt-Pirate” when I read her name?…). Yeah, whoever you guys want to come visit is fine by me, (can we refrain from my “stalker” Nycgurl, though? snicker-snicker). Gabber? I guess I haven’t thought much about her. I figured what I said would piss her off. Whatever. I just can’t seem to get too worked up over that.

I sent Goldie a quick email yesterday checking in, asking how she’s doing, etc. I’ve been gone most of today and haven’t yet checked email, so I’ll let you girls know if she answers how she’s doing.

So, Sweetlara is hot for the cute Cosmo guys, hugh? Yeah, that chef isn’t too hard on the eyes…I’ll give you that, Sweetie. Cosmo DOES know where to find the cuties for their magazine, though, don’t they? I like the issue they put out with a guy from each state, with a blurb about him, his views and preferences regarding women, etc. I mean, FIFTY hot guys in one compact, convenient space…what could be better?

Has there been “incidents” during our time knowing each other? Nothing serious, then, (with the exception of Janey, obviously). Oh, yeah, we’ve disagreed about certain things…but you know what gets REALLY boring REALLY fast?: When friends feel like they have to drown each other in false agreement/interests/etc. because they’re afraid of pissing someone off, or rocking the boat, or offending, or whatever. I mean, of course, tact and consideration is always appreciated and necessary between good friends…and, more importantly, mutual respect is crucial, also. But, if you have to walk on proverbial eggshells to keep a friendship intact…then it’s not a very solid relationship in the first place, you know? I feel like we can talk freely with each other and stay friends whether or not we agree on everything. Marriage is built on the same premise, I believe…it’s the kind of emotional/mental freedom that makes feelings/relationships/friendships thrive under any conditions. Ok…quite a tangent, I know.

Talk to you later, Girls…and take care.

24 07 2009
Clo

Witchy that’s my whole thing with Gabber. I haven’t always agreed or even liked the things you guys said, to me, about me, about some other things. But, they’re your opinions, you know?

I mean that’s like that one chick on bedroom blog (I can’t remember, she’s the one who called us a pack of dogs.) She just doesn’t get that just because we disagree doesn’t mean we’re bossing people around. It’s like with NYGurl or whatever… She got angry with you for merely saying you guys were on two different sides of the fence and you didn’t want to argue about it anymore. I mean, that’s kinda where you and I were on the whole Team Brandon, Team K dealio. We knew each others side, but still disagreed. And some point you just have to agree to disagree.

NY gurl pisses me off with this whole Derrick deal. It does seem that she’s hell bent on defended whoever the majority seems to dislike. And I just don’t see why K should have apologized to Derrick. She wasn’t mean to him at all, he just sucks.

24 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Yes, Cloey, Derrick DOES just suck. I can overlook LOTS of questionable behavior in the people I call my friends, simply because I have a tendency to idealize the people I care for…which makes me cut them a lot of slack. I’m good at accepting people – weaknesses and all. That doesn’t usually mean I’m blind to their “flaws”…it just means I can overlook them. So, I can relate to K’s tendency to give her friends/boyfriends quite a bit of rope…and a lot of the benefit of the doubt. BUT, I don’t like people who actively manipulate those close to them…and use them without giving back. There has to be some kind of give and take in any good relationship, romantic or platonic…whatever. I just think he’s too self-serving to make a good friend.

When you say you haven’t always liked what we’ve said to or about you, I hope I haven’t ever seriously offended and/or hurt your feelings…I certainly didn’t intend to. THAT’S where face-to-face interactions are superior to long-distance ones…you can read facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, etc…all that helps “soften” things – or put them in a more friendly perspective – so that the real meaning behind the words is more clearly read. I tend to tease/jest with my friends A LOT, and maybe I’ve presented myself at times as being more contentious than I actually meant, (I’m usually just screwing around). When I actually mean business, I’m very plain-spoken…there won’t be much room for doubt as to my meaning, like what I said to Gabber. I’m not going to walk around an issue I feel strongly about.

Anyhoo…NYC is thorny. I don’t know if she means to be or not, but I try to ignore her for the most part, because she’s very persistent. As soon as she “hooks” you, she’ll just keep seeking you out, arguing everything you say, and being really pointed about it. I’m probably a little unreasonably annoyed by her – I don’t know what it is about her in particular that grates on me. Other commenters who have different opinions than mine don’t irritate me like she does, for some reason. I don’t know.

Nightie-night, Ladies…and take care.

24 07 2009
Clo

No no Witchy, it’s just when you know people, at some point, meaning too or not, they’re going to say something that ticks you off or rubs you the wrong way. I know it’s not on purpose, and sometimes I may not have had a reason for it other than I was having a bad day and was putting a negative spin on everything (which, like you pointed out, is easy to do in online talk. Sarcasm can be inserted, a harsh tone, ect.)

I mean, I like you guys because sometimes you disagree with me. That’s why I think Gabber is being such a baby. Yeah, I wouldn’t have liked it if you said to me what you said to her, Witchy. But instead of running away, I would have defended myself, and pointed out why I think I’m NOT like that. She got mad and pouted and ran.

I mean, it’s true, you’ve got to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything, but I get annoyed when someone “stands” for something and then at the first sign of questioning, buckles and runs, you know? It’s like, you can believe in something and it can be different than what I believe in, but have the balls to stand behind it and back it up. If you just leave, you’re just showing you never really believed in that.

Am I making any sense?

24 07 2009
lara21167

Perfect sense Cloey, and I have to say I feel pretty comfortable stating my opinions or disagreeing with you with guys and know you won’t “yell” at me and tell me to never come back lol. I’ve always had a problem taking up for myself and asserting myself. It’s like I’ll make a suggestion at work and someone will shoot it down and I’d back right down. But I am getting better at pushing my views. I still have to bite my tongue when my very republican boss expresses her republican views on our president. But she’s my boss and I need my job lol.

On to a new thing. I don’t think I told you guys about the kitten my MIL got. She told her hubby he’s a stray that wandered into the yard. So for now he’s an outside cat. Anyhoo we take Ginger to my MIL once in a while. And her and the kitten, who still has no name, play together. It’s really cute. Ginger will go up to Kitty, and he’ll playfully smack Ginger in the face without using his claws. Then Ginger will chase him around the yard. Kitty will jump into the overgrown flower garden and Ginger will sniff him out then do the Beagle point when she finds him. What was really cute the other day was when my MIL’s Yellow Lab kind of got mad at Kitty when he was sniffing at him. Ginger was under my chair and jumped up and stood over top of Kitty like she was pretecting him from Cody. And btw, thank you all for all the advise on puppy training and all. Ginger is turning out to be a very nice, well behaved dog. Of course she still has her moments 🙂

24 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Hi Ladies. Yeah, like I told you about Gabber, Cloey…I knew when I said it that Gabber would get pissed off. I didn’t care. It’s kind of like, when you came to the conclusion that you didn’t feel comfortable participating if Janey were to continue on, I quickly realized that if Gabber could be THAT changeable, just to appease you Cloey…and jump on someone like that when she really had no real part in it…I really don’t want to be interacting with her. I don’t care for people who engage in double-talk, just to stay “in favor”. If I feel strongly about something, I’ll say it regardless of whether it will affect my “popularity” – you know? I wouldn’t have cared if she HAD come back at me…it wouldn’t have changed my opinion, either.

Ginger sounds sweet, Lara. Our male cat, Sammy is a shadow for our female Beagle, Sunny. He LOVES her, and will continually rub his head against her, sleep with her, etc. It’s pretty cute. What makes his behavior with Sunny even funnier is that while Sammy is really sweet, he’s a little shy sometimes, and will often run from the boys, especially if they approach him too fast. Our other cat, (his sister), Scout, is actually more like a dog: she’ll follow any of us around, meowing for attention and affection, and she usually wants to be in your lap. When I stretch out on the ground after working out, Scout will plop herself down right under my nose so I can’t help but run into her…it’s hilarious. Sammy isn’t like that, so to see him following Sunny around with such devotion is such a contrast to his usual behavior.

24 07 2009
lara21167

I love to see dogs and cats getting along like that. It’s just really cute.

Hey I didn’t tell ya’ll Kristy went to Georgia with her friend Olivia again. They were supposed to go on down to Florida this weekend and go to Disney World. But as fate has it there was a helicopter crash on the highway close to my MIL actually (you may have heard about the crash, it was on the Today Show briefly this morning) Anyhoo, Olivia’s mother’s best friend’s husband (if you can follow that) ownes the company that owned the Helicopter, 3 long term employees and the one passenger they had were killed. I mean pics of this helicopter were horrible, looked like a big pile of metal. Luckily no cars on the highway were involved, it was 10:30 last night so traffic would have been light in that area. So Olivia’s mother wants to come back to give her friend moral support she and her husband are very upset and also Olivia’s mother is picking her friend’s son in Tennessee on the way back. So they are not going to Disney now. I talked to Kristy she didn’t sound upset, but I know she is. She was really looking forward to it. So they are heading back now.

24 07 2009
Witchypoo33

I haven’t watched any tv yet today, Lara. That sounds horrible. I’ve ridden in a helicopter – when I was a kid. I’d probably ride in one again, but I wouldn’t like to cross long distances in one on a regular basis. Something about helicopters seems a little dangerous to me; they’re so vulnerable to weather conditions and whatever else. Those poor families of the crash victims.

24 07 2009
Witchypoo33

I remember a helicopter crash pretty close to where I live less than a year ago. It involved a medical team who flew on them regularly to transport critical patients to trauma centers. The crew was really experienced, and I think the reason for the crash was attributed to weather – high winds, if I remember right.

24 07 2009
lara21167

I think this is attributable to weather too. We had a bit of rain, but east toward the mountains got more rain and thunderstorms around that time and it was foggy out. A witness said they saw the helicopter hit an electrical line and saw a big arc when it hit. there is speculation that it was trying to make an emergency landing and maybe didn’t see the line and hit it and totally lost control. Very much a shame.

25 07 2009
Clo

You know what kinda irritates me? I read Diary of J, and I don’t really LOVE it, but it kills time while I’m waiting for other blogs to be updated… Anyway, every time she’s supposed to update, something comes up. Which, I mean is fine, life happens. But then she’s on bedroom blog bitching about how she’s going to stop reading because they’re having issues or whatever. It’s not so much that she’s not updating, but like, really? You’re going to complain about a blog when every other day you have some “drama” that keeps you from updating your own? I dunno. It annoys me.

25 07 2009
Witchypoo33

About how old is the author of ‘Diary Of J’?…anyone know?

How’s everyone’s Saturday going?

26 07 2009
lara21167

My Sat was good we went to a barbque way out in the boonies. Some friends. They live like just starting up the mountains. Beautiful up there. Of course my hubby and his brother had to get into an argument, they always do. Twins…

Anyhoo, I am assuming J is early twenties, I;m thinking she winds up marrying “Brandon” because she’s let slip on bedroom blog about having a husband. I agree with Cloey it’s ok to pass time lol. Kind of alot of stupid High School drama and I have to say Brandon sounds like a wimp. She mentioned him having tears in his eyes one too many times. Especially when his buddy left him, oh like that’s something for a guy to cry about!! When he left to go home, ok I can understand the tears. But lets see if she just graduated high school when all this stuff takes place and she said it was like 4 years ago that would make her about 22 or so.

26 07 2009
Witchypoo33

What do they argue about, Lara? Are they emotionally close, regardess? I’ve always heard that twins are usually really close…or is that just a generalization?

26 07 2009
Clo

Laura- I wish we could go to a bbq. We don’t really have friends. I mean we kinda do, but they’re all my friends, and I dunno. A lot of them like Jeremy, and consider him their friends, but he sometimes gets weird about hanging out with them. Like, they’re your friends.

I think I might see if this December we can sign a like, 6 month lease. We just need a bigger place really badly, especially if we’re going to have a second baby. Jeremy just ticks me off, because he came downstairs today and starting like kicking Cayden’s toys. He was mad because there’s no room. But the majority of the crap we have is his. I mean, Cayden’s obviously a baby and has a lot of stuff, but I would still say Jeremy has more. Our bedroom closet (which, isn’t a walk in exactly, but it’s big and then it has like, a storage area in it, that I don’t know how to describe, they’re like big stairs kinda?) is full of Jeremys stuff. Then Cayden’s closet is full of Jeremy’s power tools. The downstairs closet which is like, kinda a crawl space, it’s pretty big, is again, full of Jeremy’s stuff. The kitchen/dining room, is full of his crap. Most of which, he doesn’t use. And I don’t want him to get rid of it, it’s stuff he would use if he had the space. Like our kitchen is literally the size of a postage stamp. If you have the fridge open, no one can get in or out. And he likes to cook, so he has like this gourmet cooking things, like the big bowl mixers and a food processor with all it’s attachments, and a bread maker and lots of crap. But we have no counter space, so none of it EVER gets used. Same with the power tools. He hardly uses them cuz he has no building space. So I’m like, store them at your parents or my Mom’s. It’s like we see my Mom at least once a week, if he ever needed something, I’m sure we could get it. But he just wants to bitch about how we have no space. And do nothing about it.

Our lease is up in December which is such a weird time to have a lease up. It’s the holidays, which is a horrible time to move, plus it’s cold and wintery. So maybe I’ll see if we can do like a month to month or whatever, and then when we get our tax money we can move. Who knows. Sometimes I think we’ll NEVER be out of this place.

How’s everyone elses weekend going?

26 07 2009
lara21167

Witchy, they fight about stupid things, like my hubby put a new water pump on my car last week, his brother’s daughter’s boyfriend helped put the stuff back together, he’s a mechanic and something about some vaccum hose that Brad said didn’t need or he broke or something. So yesterday when we were going up a mountain the car was spitting and sputtering and I told my hubby to ease on the gas petal instead of flooring it like he was, he told me to shut up then starting bitching about Brad taking that hose off. And that started a big fight between the 2. One thing I think my Brother in law has a crush on me. I did alot for him when his wife left him. Now I think there is some jealousy over what Joe, my hubby has and what his brother doesn’t. But yes they are close, they can’t seem to stay away from each other more than a couple days.

Cloey start looking for a bigger place. I know around my area rents are starting to come down. So it may be the time. Also my rent is month to month. I just had a 1 year lease then went month to month. So that shouldn’t be a problem.

26 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Lara…interesting background info. on the 2 brothers. Does your husband realize that his brother has a crush on you? That could definitely cause some awkwardness, depending on the personalities involved. Jealous males can be a colossal pain in the ass – as I’m sure you’ve found over the years. Subtle touches of it is flattering, but anything more than that is suffocating. Was Joe’s brother a good husband to the wife who left him? I always feel bad for whatever marital partner gets dumped, (unless he/she really had it coming, which sometimes happens).

We’ve been having really sunny, warm weather here for the past several weeks; it’s been in the high-80’s for quite a while. Is it still rainy/cool where you girls live? I’m assuming that it was probably decent weather where you live, Lara, since people were having a barbecue.

Cloey…yeah, men sure can acquire a lot of clutter with their tools and hobby items. My husband has his computer things spread out all over the place, not to mention the garage being full of tools and riding toys that we’ve acquired over the years.

What’s everyone up to this afternoon?

27 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Where did everyone go? It’s late…10:35 here, so I know you ladies are asleep. Just thought I’d check back in before turning in. Today has mostly been a chore/errand day. I spent most of it cleaning, then had to go grocery shopping, get dinner taken care of, etc. While Chance and I were shopping, we ran into my friendly Aquarian hairdresser-buddy, Frances. She was flittering around the store, looking kind of distracted; we gabbed for a few minutes…she’s really funny and amusing, in kind of a motherly way. I just saw her on Thursday, when I had my hair done. I love chatty ladies. Anyhoo, I must have sweat off about 3 gallons of water today while cleaning. It’s really hot here, (for western Washington, anyway…high 80’s, with lots of humidity); doing anything physical results in major sweating. I took my shower before starting, and when I finished scrubbing, it felt like I’d just stepped out of the shower again…sticky. Hmmm…guess I didn’t have anything too noteworthy to relate…just small-talk.

Take care, and nightie-night, Ladies.

27 07 2009
Clo

Witchy today was a lay around day for me. I was up till 6 AM, and am up now (and it’s 6 AM) My not sleeping is getting way out of control, but I’m not sure what my options are. They had me on Ambien last time and it was expensive and didn’t always work. Plus I’m afraid that a sleeping pill is just going to knock me out and I’m not going to be able to hear Cayden. So. I dunno.

I’ve been thinking about starting a fictional blog. I dunno, I’m so irritated with the ones I read, with the exception of 15 miles to Utopia. Nobody seems to update, or bedroom blog just randomly bends it’s characters to create drama. I dunno though, I’m so weird about my writing, and shy. I thought about making it and telling you guys I had stumbled upon it, because I always feel like when someone gives me positive feedback they’re just saying they like it because they’re my friend you know? But. I dunno. We’ll see.

Here’s a question that’s weighing on my mind lately: Is it OK to flirt when you’re married (or in a serious relationship)? I mean, I always thought, personally, that flirting was OK. I mean, I’d think it was disrespectful if my husband did it in front of me, or vice versa but…

Here’s the situation. My friend Matt and I have started talking a lot lately. And I know, usually when you flirt between friends it can be a lot more dangerous than a stranger. But Matt lives like, 7 hours away, so it’s not like we hang out… Ever. I think he has a crush on me, which is flattering, but he of course knows that I’m married and I have a kid and all that jazz. I didn’t even think I was flirting with him until he said something about how I was, and then I realized I was and now ever since i’ve felt kinda guilty like maybe I should quit talking to him.

I mean I don’t feel like things are in a bad place with me and Jer. I get frustrated and annoyed sometimes, but I love him and wouldn’t leave him or cheat on him. I dunno, I know it sounds like I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, but for like the first year of our marriage, I wouldn’t really talk to other guys. Not that Jeremy said I couldn’t, it just felt weird. So now, I’m kinda like… Eh.

27 07 2009
lara21167

Cloey let me answer Witchy first, no Joes brother was a horrible husband so don’t feel bad for him, except the poor guy can not take care of himself. guess he’s managing but barely. His ex though I don’t blame her for leaving him after they split she got with a guy and proceeded to kick 2 of her 3 kids out. So who had to take them, their dad who can’t take care of himself and she knew that. Anyway he did get his daughter through high school. And would have gotten the son through school too, but he got his girlfriend pregnant and left with her, quit school and won’t talk to anyone in the family at all. This boy is a twin too, and won’t even talk to his twin brother.

Ok Cloey, normally I’d say a little flirting is fine. I flirt.Actually I get a kick out of making Cocky men squirm. Like a guy that comes into work, he’s a relative of the owners and has his own business but does work for us sometimes like shingle roofs and window work. (We do mostly rubber roofs) anyhoo he’s a big flirt, married man just likes to flirt to feel however men like to feel. and I started to flirt back and now he seems to be about half afraid of me lol. (I have this effect on men and get a sick thrill out of it) Guess he thinks I’m really interested, which I’m not, and he’s all talk know what I mean? So back to you Cloey, if you feel guilty about flirting with this friend then that might be a bad thing. But I mean it sounds like your intentions are good, and flirting gives you a little ego boost so no big deal. Also men tend to have giant egos naturally and take things the wrong way and maybe that’s why your friend mentioned that you were flirting. I wouldn’t advise that you stop talking to him at this point. but just watch what you say and how he reacts and if you continue to feel guilty then maybe you should cut off the friendship.

And you starting a fictional blog, if you decide to, we’ll be honest with our opinions. If you decide to let us know.

27 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Hi, Ladies. Flirting…I don’t know. Flirting is one of those subjects that’s so individual and varied depending on who you talk to. Some people believe flirting is always innocent – but I think those people are either incredibly naive, lucky, or not being honest with themselves. Flirting CAN be innocent, depending on the flirt’s intentions, and also how the recipient is interpreting it. Some people are just naturally great at harmless flirting, with well-seasoned skills at navigating in and out of potentially interesting situations. These kinds of people don’t take flirting seriously at all…it’s just a pastime to them – as natural as eating and sleeping. Other’s interpret any flirting as “behavior with a purpose”…they aren’t likely to consider it a casual – or meaningless – activity. I think anyone who has a crush on someone falls into this category, also, (if it’s the “crush” who’s involved in the flirting). In other words, if someone is already partial to you, however innocently…they’re much more likely to interpret your flirting – regardless of how you intend it – as having more meaning than you actually intend. You said that your friend, Matt, asked you if you were flirting with him, so he obviously is reading SOME meaning into your behavior. I find that men as a whole are really susceptible to this type of behavior – a lot of them don’t take it as lightly as you’d expect. With the right look and manner, it’s not hard to manipulate guys if that’s your aim, (or, even if it’s “accidental”, or unintentional – it’s remarkably easy). I think you’re safest with someone you’re not likely to see much, – if ever – again. Like, some random guy in the grocery store, or waiting in line somewhere…or whatever. That kind of situation doesn’t habor much potential for any serious repercussions. But, with someone who’s a friend, who you know has a crush on you…that could be playing with fire. You strike me as someone who likes to “play with fire”, just out of sheer curiosity, it nothing else. I DON’T mean that in a negative sense, or in a strictly man/woman/romantic sense…I mean any kind of “fire”…just any experience with some potential for intrigue…or interesting developments. Call it the experimental side of the mentally-active Aquarian personality; you LOVE new factors that shake the cobwebs from your brain, and keep you on your toes a little. Still, something that surprises people who don’t know a lot about astrology is that, Aquarius, being a “fixed” sign, is also quite set in his/her ways. You operate under a routine, with set ideas about how you want to do things. Even if you change things up sometimes, you still have a tendency to be most comfortable with your own way of doing things…not liking others to interfere with your preferred routine. So, while you might like the novelty of this new development with your friend, you also are somewhat leary of how the ramifications of your flirting could possibly affect your life – and his.

Ok…I totally digressed from your question about whether flirting is ever ok, and veered off into the realm of astrology. Sorry…I do that sometimes. Anyhoo, I’d have to say that – honestly – flirting with a friend who you KNOW has a crush on you already could be setting him up for some disappointment, depending on how seriously he takes your actions. The only positive aspect I see to this scenerio is that he lives 7 hours away, and you don’t see him much. Still, I’ve known a couple of instances of aquaintances in my life where the people involved were married, and actually wound up having an affair with someone they were originally “flirting” with online, or long-distance. These marriages I’m referring to actually broke up, (LOTS of drama and tears, I might add). I think a lot of it has to do with how YOU feel about it, and how he’s interpreting it. If you’re feeling slightly guilty, or leary about it, I’d say you should really ask yourself WHY you’re not-quite-comfortable with it…is it because you’re just not accustomed to the act of flirting with the opposite sex since being married? Or, are your reservations based on more serious concerns/possibilities…such as, could messing around with this situation possibly escalate on either of your parts? (will either you or him push boundaries, in other words).

I tend to skirt around this type of situation in my own life because I guess you could say I’m friendly/flirtatious to both men and women…I’m just friendly and silly with everybody I know, for the most part. I don’t normally treat men any different than I treat women. I guess I DO tend to be careful about not giving guys the “wrong” idea, though. I don’t like “sticky” situations…they take up too much energy. I know how to wiggle around things to keep myself comfortable, and I don’t put myself in situations that could get questionable. I don’t like complications in my personal life, when I can avoid them.

Long answer to a short question, hugh, Cloey? It’s kind of a complicated subject, though. (I don’t think I really answered you definitively, either). Sigh.

27 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Oh, and Lara…your husband’s brother losing his wife reminds me of the age-old sitation where the guy treats his wife with inconsiderate disregard, then pines over losing her when he realizes, (much too late), what he lost. Why are some people so apparently blind about emotional/interpersonal issues until being forced to experience loss? You just see it over and over. I don’t know.

27 07 2009
Witchypoo33

should read, “sitUation”…

27 07 2009
Clo

Laura- It sounds like you take care of an awful lot of people. You’re so sweet and helpful. Reading that make it sound like I mean that condesendingly, but I’m not trying too, I think it’s a good thing.

As far as Matt, like I said, it’s never like we’d do anything. I mean, besides the fact that I would NEVER do that, we would never have a chance. We don’t talk on the phone, so phone sex is out, if I were ever tempted to go there. And like I said before, he lives like, 7 hours away, so I NEVER see him. I know I have no reason to be in his neck of the woods, unless I of course, took a vacay with Jeremy and Cayden, so like, no chance of cheating there. And if he were to come here? Again, I don’t see us hanging out, or at least hanging out alone. And it’s not like he has a reason to be here. We talk online, and I’m not into the whole cyber sex thing, I think it’s weird.

I think I just feel guilty because… I dunno. Like I said before, when I got married, I pretty much dropped all my guy friends, and any hint of flirting was nixed. And then that got so boring. Because again, while I love Jeremy, you girls have husbands. And I’m sure sometimes they slack on male attention. So it’s nice to have someone be like “yeah you’re pretty” or “yeah I like you.” I mean, I do think Matt has a crush. But he knows that a.) I don’t cheat, won’t cheat, am not going to cheat, and b.) I’ll most likely never leave Jeremy. (I say most likely because you never know the future, not because we’re having issues.)

Now I AM annoyed at Jeremy though, lol. Cayden’s possibly sick. Again. For the millionth time in a row. And I’m just frustrated. Because I’m not sleeping anymore, so I laid down at 6 AM, and didn’t fall asleep till like 7, got up with Cayden at 9, put him back down at 9:40-ish, and got to sleep for two more hours before he was up again. He woke up at 9 with poop ALL up his back, so that was yum. Then when I got him up from his first nap, he had diarreah, and literally two seconds after I changed that diaper, he had more. (He’s getting a diaper rash from it, and I was contenplating leaving his diaper off when he pooped the second time to let some air get to it while I looked for the diaper rash cream. I didn’t, and now I’m glad I didn’t, since he pooped again.)

I mean, I know. I’m a mom, and this is what I signed up for, and that’s OK. But it’s mainly that Jeremy likes to talk like I don’t do anything all day. Like he’s so important because he makes the money. When I ask for money he says he pays me in “food and rent and internet and cable,” And it’s like. I know that sounds really… Mean? Sexist? Controlling? And it kinda is. He means it mainly as a joke, but it’s a joke that’s not funny anymore. There are some days that ARE easy. Cayden naps alot, or is just really easy going, will play by himself nicely, or just chills. There are days when I can spend lots of time doing whatever I want. And there are other days when I can’t eat lunch because he won’t let me put him down, and the only time I really get to myself is five seconds while I use the bathroom, with him sitting outside screaming. And it’s like, when I was sick, I don’t get to take off. When I had my c-section, I was still getting up in the middle of the night with him.

I dunno, it’s just my little rant. It’s like also, the Wednesdays that I do work, I’ve taken Cayden with me and done my job. And lately that’s Jeremy’s day off, so he’s been going, but their have been times when I’ve gone by myself and done it. And yeah, people want to take him and hold him. But when he gets upset and tired, who do you think gets him back, AND still has to teach her class? When he had a wet diaper, who got to take care of that while fielding questions from 7 year olds?

I’d like to see him take Cayden to work and do his job.

27 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Oh, yeah…fictional blog? Why not? Go for it…you don’t have anything to lose. Creative outlets are great for keeping the mind happily engaged. Writing is fun when it’s going well.

27 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Our comments crossed, Cloey. It looks like you’ve got your question, or issue, covered. It doesn’t sound like much of a problem.

Yup…babies are a handful. When husbands realize just how time-consuming they really are is when they’re left alone with them for a period of time…and the little darlin’s aren’t in an overly-cooperative mood. THEN daddy gets a tasted of what mommie goes through regularly.

27 07 2009
Witchypoo33

What’s the deal with me and typos today? Supposed to read, “taste”…not tasted.

27 07 2009
lara21167

Yep I love how men still in this day and age somehow think their stay at home wives are sitting around eating bon bons and watching soaps all day!! Funny how men think it’s so easy taking care of a house and kids. Even when they know better. A friend of my hubby was supposed to be a stay at home Dad. He and his wife have a 1 year old baby girl and a boy who is 13. Well Rob made the boy do “chores” basically his chores were taking care of the whole house and baby, while Rob went fishing and drank beer all day. Wife finally put her foot down. They are now trying to work things out lol.

27 07 2009
Witchypoo33

Sounds like that hubby had a pretty nice setup, Lara. That poor 13 yr-old…I can kind of relate to that. My mom had my brother and I 8 years apart, and her drinking/pill-popping went into overdrive after having my little brother. She’s have me watch him all the time, and leave me lists a mile long of household chores to do; all that was going on when I was as young as 9. I remember getting messages at school to go home right away, and I’d arrive home to find my mother had just rolled out of bed, hungover, crying and just a wreck. My little brother would climb out of his crib, and destroy the whole house while my mom was knocked out from her pills and all that. I would just stand there and look at her, feeling a horrible mixture of pity, love, and disgust. I can’t even really describe the feeling. But, your description of the lazy, irresponsible father kicking back, drinking beer and whatever while the poor boy worked his butt off watching a baby and doing chores reminded me of that period of my life. It did teach me how to deal with a baby and housework, though.

27 07 2009
Witchypoo33

should read, “she’D have me watch him”…

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